Christine Malek's Conquest Over Personal Demons

Rich Bennett 0:00
Thanks for join in the conversation where we explore the stories and experiences that shape our world today. I am thrilled to introduce a truly remarkable guests, Christine Malik. Christine is not just a voice of inspiration. She is a beacon of hope and empowerment. As a sassy coach at SASE as a speaker, international advocate against women abuse and domestic violence and the founder of the Sassy Academy. Christine's work transcends those boundaries. Her journey is one of resilience and courage marked by her personal battles with abuse, addiction and life threatening challenges. Rising from these experiences, she has dedicated her life to guiding women through the darkest moments, helping them discover their inner strength and true sassiness. Christine's unique, sassy program is a testament to her commitment to helping women find themselves again, fostering confidence and encouraging them to embrace their full potential. A survivor, a victor and an innovator, Christine coined the term surf thriver or surf Thrive or as 

surthriv0r embodying her belief that every woman can not only survive, but thrive to become her best self. Her motto. Ruffle some feathers and blow some minds in Kat. God, I love that encapsulates her approach to challenging norms and inspiring change. So without further ado, let's just dive into the conversation with Christine Mallick, a woman who's turning adversity into advantage and helping others to do the same. How you doing, Christine? Besides cool. 

Christine Malek 1:50
I let's see if I were any better. I'd be twins. Rach How's that? I guess I hate. 

Rich Bennett 1:56
That would work. 

Christine Malek 1:57
Right? Well, let's see. The thing is, I can. 

Rich Bennett 1:59
Talk to both of you. Being stared in the. 

Christine Malek 2:00
Gym and I do. 

Rich Bennett 2:03
Oh, come. 

Christine Malek 2:04
On. Mm hmm. Me, too. No way. June 18th? 

Rich Bennett 2:08
Yeah. No. Come on. I'm ju. 

Christine Malek 2:11
Nine. No way. Oh, my God. Yes, 

that's true. 48 is. 

Rich Bennett 2:18
Oh, about my best friend. He's got three daughters. Two of them. June 18th. And the other one? June 20th. 

Christine Malek 2:25
My brother's June 20th. We're 11 years apart. Yeah, I know. Although it's. Summer. Birthday, time sucked because I had one brother June 2nd myself, the 18th. My other brother, June 20th. And of course, through Father's Day and their birthdays were out the window. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 2:43
See, all my siblings were mad at me because I was the only summer baby. So I got the party. 

Yeah, they were. October, February, January is like, What can I say? It ain't my fault. I didn't think what I was going to be. 

Christine Malek 2:57
Boy. 

Rich Bennett 2:58
You know. 

Christine Malek 2:59
So. Oh, God. Good morning. Good morning. And. Hey. Yeah, Sassy. I'm awesome. This is Sassy studio, by the way. I know you asked about it. I love. It. I love. Oh, right in this. Awesome. All right, who else does? Who? Have you ever had a guest that has been this real, this live no background. It is real. The what is. Real? 

Rich Bennett 3:22
So for those of you listening, Christina is sitting in her studio, which is a barn, right? 

Christine Malek 3:27
It is a full blown barn. You can see the barn. 

Rich Bennett 3:30
She and she is bundled. 

Christine Malek 3:32
Up. 

Rich Bennett 3:33
In her fur, everything. I tell you, you day Abby, you are committed. She also has her own podcast that she records from there. 

Christine Malek 3:44
Yes. Yes. You know, I call it crazy. You call it committed My friends call it committed. I'm like, Nah. I'm just crazy. 

Rich Bennett 3:52
Doesn't crazy and committed go hand in hand? 

Christine Malek 3:55
And I think so 

I live on that that life's dial. You know, you got to be crazy in today's world. 

Rich Bennett 4:03
Oh, yeah. Oh, absolutely. Because you got to put up with all the other crazy. 

Christine Malek 4:08
People out there. 

Rich Bennett 4:10
So I have to ask this what is the temperature there right now? 

Christine Malek 4:13
As we're reported, it was it hasn't quite reached 40 degrees yet. And I'm in middle Tennessee, in case anybody's wondering. So it hasn't quite reached 40. We're supposed to get to about 54 this afternoon. 

Rich Bennett 4:26
Really? Wow. Look, I think we're only supposed to get up to 47. 

Christine Malek 4:31
Oh, no. 

Rich Bennett 4:31
But it could be because I'm right on the bay to. 

Christine Malek 4:34
Oh, Chesapeake. Oh. 

Rich Bennett 4:36
I live right on. 

Christine Malek 4:37
The shooting in there in the end. Oh, I love it. I loved it. 

Rich Bennett 4:41
Well, on the Susquehanna. 

Christine Malek 4:42
Off of it. Yeah. Yeah. My parents used to be in Pennsylvania. Take the little bit of drive, take the boat, spend the weekend out on the bay. Oh, yeah, I loved it. Crap. I missed. Oh, I miss that so much. 

Rich Bennett 4:55
Oh, well, yeah, we had. Of course, you can never beat Maryland steam crabs, but now we have two other, I want to say delicacies, because, well, the one I've tried, which was probably the third best fish I've ever had, and that's the snakehead fish, because we have a ton of them around. Hey, excuse me. The other one I haven't tried yet, but we just did an episode about this blue catfish. 

Christine Malek 5:22
I heard that. 

Rich Bennett 5:25
Yeah. And unlike your other catfish, they're not a bottom. 

Christine Malek 5:29
Feeder, right? 

Rich Bennett 5:30
I did. Which I didn't know and do. She should get over £100. 

Christine Malek 5:34
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 5:34
That's a lot of good eating. A lot of good eating. So, Christine, before we get into your story, I always like to find out a little bit about my guest. Yo, growing up. What was it? You're back in high school? What was it that you wanted to do? You Yeah, because, well, there wasn't that way when we were younger. Where me been? But that you ended up doing you because nobody ever. Well, some people do, but it's hard to follow your career path that they want you to have. In high school, I. 

Christine Malek 6:08
Actually had two dreams. I wasn't quite sure which way I was going to go. I either wanted a child psychologist or who know, right? Because of all the trauma that I suffered, I'm kind of along that same path. But either a child child psychologist or I wanted to be an attorney to fight for all the injustices. 

Rich Bennett 6:32
Oh, wow. So what you end up doing far? 

Christine Malek 6:36
Not what? Not that. 

Small businesses. I ended up going to school for hotel restaurant management. I, I thought when I went to school that I would end up get this. I thought that I would go out to Vegas and work for Steve Wynn. I'm glad I. Didn't. 

Wow. Yeah. And then from there, it's it's home to little things here and there. I always had my small but always some sort of small business. I've got a degree in computers background in computers, I've got the background in social media. When it first started, what, ten years ago, and just all small businesses, I built computer software. It just escalated. It went from one to the next to the next. And, and like somewhere that fork really got bent. And now I'm on this path. 

Rich Bennett 7:30
So are you. Are you sure we're not twins? 

Christine Malek 7:32
I know, right? 

Rich Bennett 7:33
Because it seems like. Well, I mean, I was in the I.T. field as well. Also. Do you know, did the social media marketing build them websites and all that? And of course, do what I thought I was going to do when I got out of high school? Of course, I quit high school my senior year. But, you know. 

Christine Malek 7:53
That's a whole nother story. 

Rich Bennett 7:55
So now with this small business owner, you worked for other small businesses. You didn't start your own small business. 

Christine Malek 8:04
I kind of had that little side gig of my side business going at my my own business going, okay, I did I did work for other companies. I actually worked for storage facilities and commercial real estate. Ended up owning my own storage facility. Oh, wow. Yeah, out in Arkansas. But fuck Arkansas of all, it made me money. So. 

Rich Bennett 8:26
So were your parents. Did either of your parents have that entrepreneurial spirit? 

Christine Malek 8:30
Yeah, my dad. Okay. Okay. So Pennsylvania, we grew up the biggest thing back then was everybody had to work it at Bethlehem Steel. That was the big thing. 

Rich Bennett 8:39
That's where my father was. 

Christine Malek 8:40
Okay. My grandfather. Both of my. Grandfathers on both sides were there. My father was expected to. He hated it. He said he just couldn't do it. Yeah, he started a he started with a was it the gas station or the towing? He started with the gas station. He actually got a gas station. I can remember being knee high to a grasshopper at the gas station with him. Right from there he got into towing. From towing. He ended up having his own junkyard. And of course, I grew up and my brothers and I grew up in the junkyard. I can tell you stories about growing up in the junkyard and all this. Shit we did. Okay. Got in trouble for I was taking apart vehicles, rears, engines, trannies. I mean, you name it. I was like the guys at the counter. The salesmen would be like 

so-and-so, because I'm not going to name my father. But she did it again. I'll tell Dad. Then once I turned 16, he's like, There's a vehicle. Go deliver parts. Go see the guys, Get out. Just go. Wow. So I've always. 

Rich Bennett 9:43
Chose. So if you had any car problems, you fix it yourself For. 

Christine Malek 9:47
The most part. Yeah. Yeah. Now I got smarter, like, nah, we work smarter, not harder. So I find something. 

Rich Bennett 9:54
Well, not that these cars, these cars nowadays, you can't. You're lucky if you can find a damn spark plugs. 

Christine Malek 9:59
Right? Right. And I ended up. I ended up going back and back in 2014 and 15 or 13 to 15, somewhere in there. I ended up working at a car shop that Did you know everything from your basic oil change all the way up to two? I worked there too, so it was great because I had that knowledge and that experience that I could and the customer service was just always there. I just always had that empathy for everybody, which I mean, wow, not bad, but you know. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 10:36
Yeah, I find that hard to believe. 

Christine Malek 10:38
You know, a. Recovering drug addict, alcoholic, seven years now, you do the math. 

Rich Bennett 10:46
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Sure. For how long in recovery? 

Christine Malek 10:50
A little over seven years. 

Rich Bennett 10:52
Well, congratulations. You certainly me. I got to ask now. So during that time, what kind of trouble were you getting it to? 

Christine Malek 11:00
Honey, you have no idea. So I learned. Somewhat. The happened was I discovered in my thirties that I was molested by my grandfather up until I was four or five. 

Rich Bennett 11:09
Jesus. 

Christine Malek 11:10
Okay, Right. So the only thing I ever learned was sex equated to love. So why I. Went was between my two husbands, my first husband of 20, almost 20 years, and the second douchebag. That. Was extremely abusive, narcissistic, and probably on the psychopath scale that I days. So like and of course my drinking drugs, everything I mean I wrote full blown let loose. The only way I knew to find love was through sex. So yeah it was pretty. 

Rich Bennett 11:47
I said, with the drugs and alcohol. 

Well, with the drugs. What was. 

Christine Malek 11:55
Cocaine? 

Rich Bennett 11:56
The hardest drug you ever do? Coke. Cocaine. Okay. 

Christine Malek 11:59
And that was with I actually started with my first husband. We got to a point where the addiction was so bad through three children. I do have three children. So we can talk about that, too. And what they went through. Right. 

It got so bad that he started shooting it at the end. And of course, we were smoking it together before it was called crack it back then in the eighties. Right. It wasn't crack, but and it was a lot shorter than it is now. But I got to a point where I said, I can't I can't shoot it. I just I can't do it. Although you wouldn't know. I mean, if this was summertime, you'd see, okay, I got tattoos all over my body. Right? I'm not afraid of needles, but for whatever reason, I said no to shooting it. But we definitely smoked them. 

Rich Bennett 12:42
Wow. So how long did you do before you went into recovery? 

Christine Malek 12:45
I, 

I was actually on the delivery table. Devitt Delivering my third son when my OBGYN, I mean, like head was crowning and everything, and my OBGYN came in and said, Christine, I'm told we may have possibly have a drug problem and all I could muster was what was the. Yeah. Oh yeah. Like I'm full blown lame. 

Rich Bennett 13:14
Wow. You're delivering you. Oh my God. Yeah. 

Christine Malek 13:17
They actually took him away from me. I could not hold him. I could not bond. And he's actually my closest one. Now, go figure. Right till I actually agreed and signed papers that I would go through recovery. And the same with my father at that time. Yeah. Yeah, it was. It was bad. And he was born in 92. That was 92. 

Rich Bennett 13:39
92. Okay. That, that just but it was your OB that came in and said something. 

Christine Malek 13:46
Yes. What happened was both our families suspected that there was definitely something going on. Kids were okay. I have two other children, 113 months older, and then, of course, another one almost five years older than the second one. So both of our parents had six sets of parents. Okay, There's something going on. Of course, you know, every drug addict out there will deny, deny, deny, deny. No, no, no, no. We're fine. We're fine. We're fine. Right? My mom. Yeah. I hated her when she did it, But now, you know, years later, I went. 

Rich Bennett 14:20
Mom, thank you. Thank you. 

Christine Malek 14:21
Yes, slowly. So she actually called my OBGYN and said, We suspect there's a problem. You have to do something about this child because the child may be in danger. Oh, yeah. I had DCF come in afterwards. Look at all three kids, you know, once a week and then for several weeks, many weeks. It was it was hard. It was very hard to make sure I was feeding because I had been doing cocaine. That was our drug of choice. Through all three of my pregnancies. So, Oh, yeah, two days before I delivered that third one was the last time I used cocaine till years later in my party days. 

Rich Bennett 14:57
Now, were you breastfeeding with with all the children? 

Christine Malek 15:00
My first child was born Caesarean, so he okay. He never got the ability to breastfeed. Okay. My daughter, I tried. She ended up developing a like, an acid reflux type thing. She ended up losing £3, which is a lot for a newborn. I projectile vomiting, couldn't keep anything down, so she ended up being hospitalized. Still wasn't enough to kick us in the ass and say You think you. Should stop it? We didn't. She kept going. But that's the drug. That's the addiction. Right? And then, of course, the third one came along and they said, no, no, no, no, You know. Right. I got the needle. Yeah. There was no breastfeeding for for any of them. I'd like a second then trying with my second one and I knew she wasn't going to it wasn't healthy for her as much as we had that mindset of drugs all the time and taking over our lives, I had enough sense to go, I'm not putting her through this. She has to survive. And she did. 

Rich Bennett 15:59
Now, if you don't go ahead. I was going to say, if you don't mind me asking, because of your addiction, did it affect the children? 

Christine Malek 16:06
Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. My eldest son to both my boys, they do smoke cigarettes. My eldest son battled with drinking and drugs. Also, his drugs were a little bit hit harder than mine. Yeah. My daughter has a definite sugar addiction, shopping addiction. She's got her own addictions. Absolutely. But not as Wow. Well, I shouldn't say that because an addiction is an addiction no matter how you what that source says. What that means is addictions are addictions, that they're not healthy. But she's aware. She just chooses not to address it yet. So they they know that any children coming in from their has because my grandmother was an alcoholic, my first brother was an alcoholic. Those addictions are definitely hereditary and in the family and they know don't don't chance it do you don't know don't. 

Rich Bennett 17:09
And that's the thing I think a lot of people that are in addiction 

especially, you know when they have babies, they don't think about that. But then again, keep in mind, you said it, too. You're not thinking the drugs, doing the thinking for you. You know, and a lot of it, Oh, man, God, I wish Wendy was on this episode co-hosting with me, because when it comes to addiction, there are so many misconceptions out there. A lot of people that aren't going through it think you can just quit cold turkey, you know, and they don't understand the drug is taking over you. Actually, it's very hard. 

Christine Malek 17:49
To trade one addiction for another. You're always an addict. Yeah, okay. It's a matter of trading that bad addiction for a good addiction. My eldest one, he ended up when he decided to get clean and sober, he said, you know what, I'm going to work out. And sometimes that's what people do. Okay, I traded my addiction. I still smoke cigarettes. I'm okay. 

Rich Bennett 18:12
Right? 

Christine Malek 18:13
I got sugar. Oh, God, honey. CHUCKLES Hello, My name is Christine. I am a chocoholic, okay? I'm an egg. I actually say hi. My name is Christine. I'm an egg because I've got an egg at the end of it. I have an addiction. 

So you just treat one. You just hope to do. A better one. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 18:37
There is nothing wrong with some chocolate here. 

Christine Malek 18:40
No. Good. 

Rich Bennett 18:41
My best of those chocolate chip cookies. I'm just. 

Christine Malek 18:44
Saying. Now I wish I had the some. Taylor. All right. 

Rich Bennett 18:51
So you said you were between your first and second husband. Yes, The second husband being the ass. 

Christine Malek 18:57
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 18:58
Explain to everybody why the second husband was an asshole. 

Christine Malek 19:01
Well, let's see. On my CAT podcast, I actually did an episode dedicated to the five main types of abuse. Okay. He not only hit every single one of them, he hit him out of the ballpark. Okay. Well, I suffered everything from. Okay. Righty. Here comes the list. Black guys, bruises all over my body, hair pulled out in clumps, smacked upside the head all the time. Let's see. He beat me with a rubber mallet, broke my wrist, broke three of my ribs. Yeah, And he's the one that shot me in the back of the head. That's just the physical. Now, let's get into. You want to know all the psychological, the mental, the verbal, the sexual. He shot me in the head in 2000, 15. In 2016, I ended up in the hospital. I went in and out of the hospital for about a year. Four surgeries, 15 procedures, died on the operating table twice. And when I came home for recovery, he still wanted to have sex with me. That's abuse. Holy crap. Now you can say it. Holy fuck is more like it. Well, yeah. 

Rich Bennett 20:13
Yeah, we. I went. I think you guys were home when he shot you in the back of the head. Yes. 

Christine Malek 20:19
Without a doubt. And the alcoholism. 

Rich Bennett 20:20
She did. 

Christine Malek 20:21
Yeah. And the alcoholism was full blown by that point. Because 

not only do I have an addictive nature, but I needed to escape this abuse. All this. Abuse. Yeah. I kept having to endure. So alcohol was really easy because it numbs the body. It numbs the brain. You don't have to think about anything. And it was a the full blown alcoholism are my particular drug of choice with the alcoholism was Captain Morgan Silver spiced rum. Okay Straight, straight. No ice, no water, no milk. 

Rich Bennett 20:51
Oh, wow. 

Christine Malek 20:52
Straight. I mean, and half the time I got to a point where I was drinking it right out of the bottle. And I don't mean a little pint bottle. I mean that half gallon sized bottle. Right? Go through. Holy shit. Go through one of those every two days. That's how bad the drinking was. 

Rich Bennett 21:06
That. 

Christine Malek 21:06
When I got into the hospital, the second procedure, the second procedure that was done, they opened me up from basically here all the way down. Okay. They removed my gallbladder, removed my appendix, removed part of my colon, part of my testing, and my whole left fallopian tube. When my surgeon came in, when I finally got out of recovery and he came in, I will never forget these words, Rick, that was the only thing he said to me. Christine, if you take another drink, you will die. I had full blown cirrhosis of the liver going on. Those were the only words that surgeons said to me. And I was like. Hmm. That's a theory. I don't want to test and quit drinking. I had to. 

Rich Bennett 21:49
Well, the thing is, everything that your husband put you through was amazing. You. You didn't. 

Christine Malek 21:53
Wait. It gets better because I had attempted. I had attempted suicide with this man at least three times. Because that's how bad through. 

Rich Bennett 22:01
My God. 

Christine Malek 22:02
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 22:04
All right. So when he shot you in the head, who called the ambulance? 

Christine Malek 22:08
Oh, hell, no. 

No. And he never. And then I know. Okay, so here's the thing with abuse. We had been together for about three and a half years already. We are already married. Okay? Married? Just shy of a year. It was 11 months. We met in September, got married the following July, ten months. So 

being a full blown, a psychotic narcissist, he knew exactly what he was doing and how he did it and how to go about doing it. So there was a point that I definitely love this man. Now, remember, because of all the childhood trauma that I had endured, the only way I could equate love was sex, okay? Or or being taken care of and abused. And it's the way I explain it is it's kind of like a bell. Okay. You're you're from up there. Picture the Liberty Bell. Okay. You know how guys like this and then it goes up. Okay, So that bottom part of the bell is where the relationship starts and you don't start to see the curves so the abuse doesn't happen overnight. It's not like, you know, we were married on a on a Friday and then Saturday morning I'm shot in the head. Okay. It doesn't happen. Abuse does not happen overnight. It is a. Slow. Gradual till it gets so far up. There's no coming back down that that curve. So there was a part of me that definitely loved this man and I always thought and he always did the being the psychotic 

narcissist that he and the true, true word of the narcissist. Okay. Not how narcissism is just being thrown around out there. So being the true psychotic narcissist that he was is the next day was always, Honey, I'm sorry. It'll never happen again. Okay. In his way, you know, the little bit of love, the little bit of of hugs in the kisses and of course, you know, chocolates being bought, lingerie, dresses, necklaces. We were I met this man in Florida, so we were huge fishing. So it would be a new fishing rod. You know, whether it's lures, you know, all any kind of fishing supplies, you know, here's my love for you, Christine. I'm really sorry. I'm an asshole and a thing, Right? So. Wow. I know. And unless you're actually in that situation, it's really hard to understand. Why didn't I go? Why? What happened? And I'm getting the answer your question. So it was one of those Anything could have set him off. Okay. I couldn't even tell you what set him off. And I knew immediately and we had already been drinking that day. It was on a weekend. Fishing was great. We came home, got changed, took care of the animals. It was just he and I, The three kids from the previous marriage were already out of the house. 

Something just set me off and I started crying. And that's like the worst thing you could possibly do is cry to a narcissistic, psychopathic abuser. Okay, so. Oh, God, yeah. Yeah. Because one typically men don't like to see girls cry. Okay, Now he knows his personality. He knows why he made me cry. 

Rich Bennett 25:32
Okay. 

Christine Malek 25:33
Right, Right. And nothing for a narcissist. Nothing is ever their fault. They don't cause all that. Yeah, okay. They do. You and I know they do, but in their mind, they don't. 

Rich Bennett 25:44
Cause their mind, they die. Right? 

Christine Malek 25:47
So I went into the bathroom and I'm trained and I sat on the toilet. I put the lid down, set on the toilet backwards. And as I'm having my arms crossed my head and arms are on the tank of the toilet. By this time I had reached my, my, my limit. I was done. I couldn't take anymore. This relationship. I knew the alcohol was going to kill me. I would actually pray to a God that I didn't believe in. God put me in the fucking ground or put me in the hospital. That's how bad. Wow. Put me in the ground or put me in the hospital because that was the only way I saw out of this relationship. 

Rich Bennett 26:24
Right. 

Christine Malek 26:24
Or as I stated earlier, the attempted suicides. Okay. But as it turns out, angels intervened in all these areas and said, we've got big things planned for you, Christine. So as I'm sitting on that toilet, okay, trying not to cry and sobbing quietly or what I thought all of a sudden, and for whatever reason I locked the bedroom door. I heard him coming down the hallway to the bedroom door and he's pounding on the door. I'm like, Ah, fuck, why did I lock that bedroom door? Next thing I hear, he's walking away and I can hear him walking to the garage. Slammed open the garage door. I could hear rustling around in the garage door, hear him come back and slam the garage door back closed, come down the hall, and the next thing I know, bam, bam. He had gotten a huge sledgehammer and just put that door to pieces. There. And I thought. 

Rich Bennett 27:26
Like Jack Nicholson from The. 

Christine Malek 27:28
Shining. Yes. Yes. He said there was a sledgehammer. Wow. So. 

Rich Bennett 27:32
Right. 

Christine Malek 27:33
So, you know, all I could think was, oh, fuck, here comes he's going to, you know, and thank God, thank you. I mean, there really was a part of me going, Thank you for all of this. 

Rich Bennett 27:44
He's going to take the sledgehammer to you. 

Christine Malek 27:46
Exactly. Exactly. What he did was he dropped the sledgehammer and went over to the nightstand. In the nightstand is where I kept my 40 caliber gun. Okay. It held, I think, 13 rounds inside the clip. I heard the gun cock. I'm like, Fuck it, fuck it, do it, do it. And he came over. Now this man stands six foot tall. I'm sitting on the toilet. Point blank. The gun is in my head. I mean, he is just pounding my head with this gun, yelling and screaming at me. And I didn't say a word. I didn't say a word. I just took it. I took it. I took it. I took it. Because that's what you do in an abusive relationship. You don't sit tight. You don't you don't encourage you don't give him any more reason to say anything. To do anything right hurt me anymore. Except this day I said, enough is enough. And I said, I turned around and I said to him, Do it, mother fucker, Pull the fucking trigger. You ain't got balls big enough. I hate you. I hate my life. I hate everything about this. Pull the fucking trigger, you pussy. Pull the fucking trigger. Pull it. You ain't got balls big enough. And I. And Tyson. Tyson, Tyson. I wanted so bad. I wanted to die. I wanted to die without a doubt. Pull that fucking trigger. Yeah. And the next thing I know. 

And as I sat there, 

I could hear the ringing in my ears. I could smell the burnt flesh, I could smell the burnt skin, 

I could hear the muffled screams. Because like I said, I'm I mean, it was point blank right on my head. And I had two thoughts, which two? That 

Fuck, I'm alive 

because I really want to be alive. And the second one was right. Fuck, I am alive. I was kind of grateful. Yeah, I kind of looked up. I still got ringing. I could still hear him screaming at me. Okay. And whatever he's saying and I look up and there's a hole about the size of a quarter in the wall in front of me. 

Rich Bennett 29:58
Well, it goes completely through you. 

Christine Malek 30:00
That's what I thought. I'm like, Okay. 

And of course, he he still screaming and yelling. And the next thing when that finally could hear, I got the butt of the gun, smack upside my head on this side. And of course, the typical look what you made me do, 

right. That's narcissistic abuser. Okay. I sat there. I didn't say nothing and I do nothing. I completely numb, completely after those two thoughts. There is nothing, absolutely nothing. I have never felt so much nothingness in me. 

Rich Bennett 30:40
Right. 

Christine Malek 30:41
I heard the gun. I just sat there. I heard the gun go back in the drawer. I heard him go out this day. We were we were drinking. L He Amador K heard the two shot glasses on the table. I heard the look. They all he Amador going in the shot, glasses, a hair. He took two shots. Look, look, look. He comes in, sets two shots down on the counter and like, thank fucking God because that's the only way I'm going to survive any of this is if I get more drunk. 

Rich Bennett 31:11
Right. 

Christine Malek 31:12
Okay. She's one drink. And, I mean, I actually asked this man if I could drink that second shot. Okay, drink the second one. He takes the course. He's yelling, screaming, hollering, you know, carrying on. 

Rich Bennett 31:26
Right. 

Christine Malek 31:26
Takes the two empty shot glasses away, I hear. Look, he takes two more. Okay. At one point, I turned over to the dresser, the nightstand, and I thought, hmm, I got two choices that. 

Rich Bennett 31:41
Grabbing the gun. 

Christine Malek 31:43
Now I could finish what he couldn't and pull the trigger myself. Okay. Or, yeah, I could go out there, finish him. Right. Would it be justified? Homicide? I don't know. I got a gunshot wound to my head. I don't know how bad it is. By this point, I can feel the blood Just trigger laying down my head, down my face, you know, down my. My hair's getting all matted. I could feel the blood. There's clearly some sort of wound up there or I go out and finish him. Is it justifiable homicide? I don't know. I don't know. I went back to. Maybe I should just finish it. And I thought I got three kids I do not want. 

Rich Bennett 32:28
Yeah. Them dealing with him right. 

Christine Malek 32:32
Or having to. How did you lose your mom? You know, my mom committed suicide because. Because of the generation I grew up in, You know, Malik's are never quitters. You know, quitters never win. Yeah. And know winners never quit. So I ended up probably, you know, drinking a few more shots. I couldn't even tell you the rest of the night. I know I slept in the spare bedroom, and I know I got up the next morning and I looked in the mirror, went into the bathroom, and I did not recognize that woman in the mirror. And I was like, Wow, something's got to give. Something's got to give something. Something's got to change. And it wasn't. It was that was like late 2015, in early 2016. Oh, no, I'm sorry. It was almost a year later. 2016 August of 2016 is when I ended up in the hospital and it's because the drinking got so bad and oh, yeah, the abuse. So yeah, no, no hospital, no, please. You know, none of that. Like life just continued on the way. 

Rich Bennett 33:43
So you don't even know what kind of wound you had or anything in your head. 

Christine Malek 33:46
You know, I got in the shower. 

Rich Bennett 33:48
Obviously, it wasn't that bad, because otherwise you're right. 

Christine Malek 33:51
Yeah, right. The nearest. Thing they can. Figure and like I said, he's six foot eight was pointing down point blank. I should not be here with all the attempted suicides and I mean, like a full bottle, a pint bottle of rum, along with a full bottle of sleeping pills. I should not be here. I should not be here. Okay? The only thing I could figure and of course, on my journey of healing through all of this is that and of course, I have met one of them. Actually, both of them I have Archangel Michael on this side, Archangel Gabriel on this side. And basically they said, You've got important work to do. Christine, You're not going. Yeah. I had a major bike accident. That should have killed me. Okay, I'm still here. I attempted suicide three more times throughout my life. Okay? From the time I was 15 years old, up until maybe five, six years ago. Okay. Even after this man and. And I should not be here at. So I finally accept that. Okay? I'm here for a reason. What the fuck is that reason? Okay. Yeah. You know, you asked earlier, child psychologist and attorney. I knew I had to fight for other women being in this situation. I knew that, you know, they basically came in and said, This is your path, Christine. Well, if I get off. Yeah, you know, they go, Oh, come on, let's get you back on it. This is where you need to be. This is which is why I started my own podcast. I couldn't I had done and given almost 100 different OC TV radio station articles. I've done all that and I just keep going because there's that one woman. 

Rich Bennett 35:31
It's time to get the other stories. 

Christine Malek 35:33
Yes, yes. 

Rich Bennett 35:34
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that's the thing. Your voice could change one life, which is. Which is still good, right? 

Christine Malek 35:42
Right. 

Rich Bennett 35:42
Yeah. But that's also. 

Christine Malek 35:43
Which is why. 

Rich Bennett 35:44
Talking to other people could change other. 

Christine Malek 35:46
Lives. Yes. Wow. Which is why I say I ruffle feathers and blow minds. Okay, Because I have to. Because I know what it was like. Nobody ever knew my story. My kids suspected that there was something going on. The people I worked with suspected, but nobody knows how to approach it. Nobody knows how to say, How do you go to a friend that you see at work if she's constantly wearing long sleeves? Really heavy makeup? You know, her demeanor has gone from this really outgoing, beautiful woman to nothing. Okay, that wilted flower, how do you approach how what do you say? That's where, you know, I actually coach on that. I actually talk about that. I'm working on writing another book about Friends of an abused. Okay. So that that we can we can say, okay, I know how to help you. When I started telling my story, Rich okay. And I started getting really loud about it. I cannot tell you how many women came up to me and said, and my hairdresser was the one, okay. She's like. I was abused too. In my first marriage. I said, Why are you whispering about it? I don't want anybody to know. I don't care. Who knows? I want everybody to know. Because if once we. 

Rich Bennett 36:57
Know, everybody. 

Christine Malek 36:58
Know, right, then once we know and acknowledge it, then we can say, Hey, no more not happening. I'm not doing it well. 

Rich Bennett 37:05
And you know, you then I look at it this way as well. If if I let's say at that hairdresser or whatever, while my daughter is getting her hair done and I hear this woman say that she's been abused, I'm going to keep my eyes open because, yeah, I'm old school. Now. Granted, nowadays you could get in trouble for it. But if I see somebody, we were brought up. Never Number one, the guy should never hit a woman or child. And if you do beat the living shit out of them, that's the way we were brought up. My brother almost faced ten years because of that. Not he didn't hit a woman is because a guy had done the other thing. And my my brother went after his is. 

Christine Malek 37:50
Exactly exact you. 

Rich Bennett 37:51
Know but it's yeah the more two people speak up it's going to help a lot more. I have to ask, how did you get away? 

Christine Malek 38:00
So 

22,000, 2016? I do. I do wish him well. I do okay. For my for my own recovery in my own healing. I have forgiven my part in it. Okay. And that's a huge step. Huge step. 

Rich Bennett 38:16
Yeah, it is. 

Christine Malek 38:17
So from 2006 to 2017, I had those surgeries, those four surgeries, 15 procedures, Right. I developed. The side is really bad. I had to go back into the hospital asides for anybody that's listening, that doesn't know is fluid building up in the body. Okay, not a fun procedure. Okay, Because I felt like I was ten months pregnant every ten days. That's how bad. Wow. Right. My last surgery was for them to actually put a stent through the jugular. They put a stent into my liver. Right. That was my last surgery. So I had two pieces of metal and they couldn't do that until I was completely sober for a year, which I was right. And it's a very risky because they're going into the jugular. It's a very risky operation. So I, you know, get home, go through the recovery. I can't walk, I can't move. You know, I got to P.T., you know, physical therapy to get back again because my longest stent was eight weeks on the bed after that major surgery, I ended up ripping open staples by AX Well, not by accident because I had to go to the bathroom. Okay. This asshole was asleep and sound asleep in the bed. I'm sleeping on the sofa. I'm trying to get his attention to help me out, to go to the bathroom. And I rolled over the wrong way and ripped Staples out. Had to get re stapled. Okay. Oh, I had almost 100 staples in my body. Okay. Plus not a. Colostomy. Bag, but in the last to me bag the other one. Not pretty. Okay. Right. So get through all that. Survive. Oh, and then had another addiction to had to deal with the addiction to the pain pills. Okay. Oh, yeah, Yeah. It was bad. Keep to myself of the what is it? A lot of all those pain drugs. Okay, the oxygen, everything. Finally at one morning, I said to this is I can't do this anymore. I got to stop. So 2017, I recover, I get better. Little by little, I go back to work under the table to try and make some money because he made a comment. This was kind of another one of those defining moments. Okay? That the light really that light bulb really went off. He made a comment. I lost my vehicle because it ran out of oil. So the the engine blew up. Okay. So I said, you know, if I'm going to be going back to work, I got to start looking for a vehicle. I need to. He said, well, if I'm paying for the vehicle, you're going to drive when I buy you. Oh, fuck, no, you wait. I'm thinking inside my. Head, right? Nope, nope, nope. As it turns out, the angels kicked in. I had saved about $2,000. There was. I was on my way to a job with my eldest son. He was doing concrete, pavers, 

driveways, all that kind of work. And I said I said, look, look, look, look, look. There's there's a there's a truck for sale, okay? Because the ex wanted a fishing vehicle. Okay? And I was like, Oh. No, don't. Want that's not what I want. I want something efficient just to get back and forth. So as it turns out, the man said, Yes, I'll take the $2,000 that you have. I bought I bought a truck. There's not much he could say about it. I bought it. It was my. 

Rich Bennett 41:34
Truck right. 

Christine Malek 41:35
Here. It is yours. Right? Exactly. So I started to get better, started to heal, and I realized that this relationship is not it's not going anywhere. So about a year later, after that surgery, I had said I sat him down and I said, listen. And it was March. And I said, you had to the end of April. Either you got to fix yourself, get help, or there's the door. And I was pretty matter of fact. 

Rich Bennett 42:01
Me jump me while you're already sober, right? 

Christine Malek 42:03
Yeah. Oh yes. Oh yes. When you told him that. 

Rich Bennett 42:05
Yeah. 

Christine Malek 42:05
Which by the way, he was still drinking and drugging smoke in his pipe. 

Rich Bennett 42:09
I was wondering about that. Yeah. 

Christine Malek 42:11
Oh, yeah, absolutely. And I was like, That. 

Rich Bennett 42:13
Had to be. 

Christine Malek 42:13
Interesting. Well, remember, those words from the surgeon were so profound. If you take another drink, you will die. I was like, I do not want to test that theory. So he came home one afternoon and said, I'm leaving in a little bit. I'm going to look at a place. I mean, he pretty much didn't say anything. I said, I'm going to look at a place to stay. Great. There was by this time, there is no more love, there's no more feeling, there's no more animosity. I don't care. But you know what? I got to live my life and I got to start healing for them. As it turns out, for about six, eight months he spent with the girlfriend. So she gets his shit right. Next thing I know, God. Knock, knock, knock. He's at my door now. I'm still somewhat recovering. I'm not 100%. I am on disability collecting. A little bit of funds from the government trying to, you know, scrape by. I've got an $800 mortgage, $150 cell phone bill, you know, electric water, trying to support my household. Okay. Because now I lost his income. So he knock, knock, knock. And I stood at the door and I said, what do you want? I want to come back in. And he's trying to push his way back in. I said, And I said, No, no, come on. Good. You know, he tried everything. You know, the Please, I love you. I'm sorry. I'll never happen again. Oh, yeah, right. So I said I said, Wow, here's the scoop. I said, you can come back in. You're going to stay in that that spare room. You will not abuse me. You will not abuse the animals. I don't care. When you come and go, you will not dictate anything in house. Okay? I said, you'll eat what? I may create your own shit and you'll buy your own shit. Oh, and by the way, you're going to pay me a roommate fee every week. Once a month, however you want to do it. I don't care. Okay? I mean, he was so desperate, he had to. He had nowhere else to go. He burnt every other bridge possible, including now, the girlfriend that for probably longer than he and I were together, have been on and off, on and off, on and off. So as it turns out, you know, a a true, 

true. Let's see. True Leopard will show its spots. Just give it time. Yeah. And he did as it's and I was just getting ready to find the right words to say hey you got to go this isn't working, you know, because you know, every abused woman knows that. We go through a point where we take that ex back or we go back to that ex, okay? 

Rich Bennett 44:58
Because it's more in the whole time. It had to be it had to be harder on your mental health, too, while he was back there. 

Christine Malek 45:05
Oh, hell yeah. Oh, Oh, yeah. 

Rich Bennett 45:06
The whole time you're probably thinking in the back of your head, Is he coming into my room? You see, You know, triggers. 

Christine Malek 45:12
You have to. 

Rich Bennett 45:12
Be scared shitless. 

Christine Malek 45:13
Triggers left and right, high anxiety all the time, you know, One day. Yeah. Sleeping with one eye open kind of thing. I absolutely, Absolutely. As it turns out, a hurricane and I forget which one it was hit up North Carolina Carolina he get the opportunity and this would have been 2018 he got the opportunity was asked to come up and to he's a handy man so he got asked to do work up there Great guy. Okay, I, I. I wish you best. You know, there's let me, let me help you. You know, how can I help you make this happen sooner rather than later? 

Rich Bennett 45:52
You're right. 

Christine Malek 45:53
He's right. Eight days, rich. Eight days? He was up in North Carolina, okay? The people he was staying with, it was his first wife's 

sister. They're calling me on the phone about five days, 3 to 5 days later going, what's the scoop with your husband? Because we kind of kept it on the down low that the thing was, I'm staying in Florida to go to school. He's going up there to do the work. That was our story right? Calling me, going, What's the scoop with your husband? I'm like, What are you talking about? What is it? What's going on? Well, let's see, you know, partying all night long, staying out all night long, smoking pot left and right. When he did go to the job in the morning, he was there only a few hours, did shit work, and then came home and crashed. I'm like, Yeah, that's him. That's him. What do you want me to do? So eight days later, he calls me and gives me this elaborate scheme. This isn't the narcissist, okay? Everybody else's fault, okay? This guy won't pay me. I can't get these supplies. You know, everything possible. I need to come back to Florida. Well, I don't care where the fuck you go. We ain't coming here, okay? Like he was even on 95, outside of, I think 

not Melbourne. A little higher. Up to not Tallahassee anyway somewhere along the the East coast that I-95 going Yeah, I'm coming. I'm Can I come to the house. Oh no you wait. You ain't coming to that. Oh like he even pulled in the driveway and I said, keep going. No, I'm on the phone with him. Go. No, you are not coming back in this house. I said I will call the cops if you even get out of that truck. Do not come in here. You are not welcome anymore. I don't want you. I'm fine without you. Go. Well, of course. Then you know the tables turn, you fucking bitch. I will fuck you up so bad. Both for how much worse can you do to me, dude? 

Wow. Yeah. So he kind of bully. He kind of, you know, did it to himself, but that's how he got. Yeah. Yeah, that's how I escaped in life is not been all that great. It's been rough. I will be honest. Right. But I know the path that I'm supposed to be on. After he left in 2018, that's when I had my meeting with Archangel Michael. The pain was so bad that I. You know, I prayed to a God that I didn't believe in because you know what, guy? Right. Let's all I was going. 

Rich Bennett 48:32
To ask you about that. 

Christine Malek 48:34
What God what God, let's this all this shit from the day I was born till now happen. Yeah, but yeah, Archangel Michael came in. It's a beautiful story, but he came in and he whispered in my ear after he lifted me off the bed and wrapped me in his love and said, Everything will be okay, Christine And every once in a while, when I question, I get told. And like the last time it was, he actually had his wings out. He was in my bedroom, had his wings out, his arms crossed and said, What did I tell you? I said, I know. No, no, no. What did I tell you then? I know, Michael, but but, but I can't. But. But. But he just. What did I tell you? I said, okay, everything will be okay. He said, All right, then just let it go, okay? Yeah. So, I mean, life. What? You make it, you know, you got to take. 

Rich Bennett 49:30
Yeah, it. 

Christine Malek 49:30
Is. A lot of people say, how do you stay so positive? How do you stay? Well, because I been on the negative, okay? I died on the operating table twice. I tried suicide six times in my life. I lived with that son of a bitch. I was raised by a narcissistic father. Okay, What are my options at this point anymore? 

Rich Bennett 49:49
See? And that's that's something that a lot of people don't understand is, yeah, if you if you just stay in that negative world, you just keep that negative negativity around you, even the thoughts, nothing's going to change, right? But if you start aligning yourself with positive things, positive people, so forth, it's amazing how it changes your life. And I was the same way. I mean, I went through anxiety, depression, 

suicide a couple of times, luckily didn't pull the trigger and it just kept getting. I went through a lot of shit, but I read one book and it helped. And that was the secret. 

Christine Malek 50:33
That's it. Oh, yeah. 

Rich Bennett 50:35
Beautiful bunch. It's something that you were. You. You said you wrote a book. 

Christine Malek 50:41
Okay, so I'm working on my memoir. I've written seven. 

Rich Bennett 50:44
Okay, So you're writing. 

Christine Malek 50:45
What I am, and I have written several books that I use in my coaching. The sassy character has, you know, a full blown set of of including a workbook that that I use. I need to write more. It's just trying to find. The time because. There's just so much I've had. Rich I can't tell you, you know, and I don't say this to pat my back, please don't misunderstand because I am not I am so humbled. I am truly am. All right. But I have so many people have told me mostly podcast. I guess after we're all done with the interview, they'd go give your own podcast. Oh no, no, no. You really need to do your own podcast. Okay, okay, okay. So I've had so many people say, Christine, you are such an expert in this field, and I go, Fuck, I don't want to be an expert. I don't want to be this expert, but I have so much knowledge, okay? Because of all the gifts that and I put that in quotes, the gifts that the angels and God and goddess in the universe have blessed me with. I have so much knowledge that I have to share it. I it's a gift. It's a gift that if you don't share it, it doesn't amplify. So I have to share my gifts and that's what I try and do with every person that I come across. Every person that I encounter that I talk to, that I, I told you about the love that I felt from I thought it was God. Okay. Til I found out that it was an Archangel Michael that love is something that one 90% of Americans will never or the world will never experience. Yeah, it is a true God love. No matter what your religion is, no matter what your belief system is, however you choose to, to believe that that love is always there. Every religion has it. There's a love. Okay? That's the love that we're supposed to share that as humans, that we're supposed to be empathic about sharing with others. And that's what I do with everyone that I meet. I can see auras. I've helped people cross over some not real pretty. It's I'll be honest, not real pretty at all. I feel I feel other people's pains. I feel their emotions. I mean, I am a true empath, without a doubt. And I've got Claire, Audie and Claire, Cynthia and Claire. Cognizant, clairvoyant, 

and recently have actually developed now or it was gifted to me the one for smell like. And the other day I walked and the only one in the house the kids were gone because I live with my daughter and her her husband and my grandchildren. Everybody's gone. And I walk into a Ron room and I smell this absolutely beautiful woman scent on my. Oh, hello. Hello. What are you here for? What do you need? What am I. Supposed to do? But yeah, they're there now. I can and I forget what the Claire is for scent. But they. They come. And I am not afraid to tell anybody that I have these gifts because I have to share them. It's a way to let everybody know that they are loved. And is it that really when you. Yeah I love down that's that good that everybody wants to feel loved. 

Rich Bennett 54:07
And that's something you weren't feeling for a long. 

Christine Malek 54:09
Time? Oh, no. You know, I know what. 

Rich Bennett 54:13
You're feeling right now. You're feeling it and you're passing it on. I know you hate that term expert, but don't look at yourself as an expert. Look at yourself as a helper. Look at yourself as a. You might get upset for me saying this, but look at yourself as a true angel helping other people. 

Christine Malek 54:34
I can't get up because. 

Rich Bennett 54:35
That's what you're. 

Christine Malek 54:35
Doing. That's what everybody tells me. I am. I just. Thank you. 

Rich Bennett 54:39
Oh. 

Christine Malek 54:40
I'm humbled by that. Thank you. Thank you. 

Rich Bennett 54:43
So the the sassy. 

Christine Malek 54:46
Sassy. Yes. We didn't even get into that. 

Rich Bennett 54:48
Sassy. Yes. Because I look at the times that we have it, you know. 

Christine Malek 54:51
Sorry. 

Rich Bennett 54:53
That's a no, no, it's okay. You know what that means? It just means you're. 

Christine Malek 54:57
Gonna have to come on. With. Me. 

Rich Bennett 54:59
But I explain to everybody What? Sassy. 

Christine Malek 55:02
All right. I love it. Thank you. So, because I deal mostly with women. Okay, Sassy stands for strong, assertive, smart, sexy and independent. Okay, We've as an as a woman of abuse, we lost that. But I believe it's every woman has it. You see it. I mean, most women, they're confident. They they walk tall, their shoulders are backed, their head is held high. Well, as a woman of abuse, we lose all that. We go deep and down. And that sassy, that intuition, our sixth sense, whatever you want to call it, gets almost extinguished. And that's why I came up with Sassy. And actually it started many, many years earlier with my daughter and Girl Scouts. But that's another long story. But I came it came revived when I got into my coaching and realized this is the way I need to go. Okay, Sassy is strong, assertive, smart, sexy and independent. And I actually had a friend of mine. He's a coach also tell me that I am and this is where Gabriel comes in and speaks. Okay. So through Gabriel, through him, basically say, Christine, you're missing you're missing more. You don't know my story. And men get abused, too. And I said, Yeah, I know, I know the statistics, I know the statistic. And he said, Maybe you need to expand your your CAC. I was like, Hmm, okay. And I thought about it. I thought, well, okay, this is probably one of those messages from Gabriel that I need to listen to. And I brought my notes out for a different reason and I hope that it was crap. I don't. But I did come up with I did come up with a sassy format, and 

I know the voice is strong. I think the A was assertive also. I don't know. I'd have to, but I did come up with a sassy for men so that they know I know the I is integrity because that's important but there's a sassy for men right I think I posted it on my Facebook page in fact I know I did. I posted it on Facebook. I'm on all my Facebook stuff. Yeah. So, yes, men are. I know. Sassy kind of we we correlate that with feminine but I had several men throughout these couple of years say, well, what about us guys? We want to feel sassy, too. So I did come up with an acronym for them as well. It like I said, it's posted on my good my Facebook page. Yes. Yes. 

Rich Bennett 57:40
So sassy. Did you start sassy? 

Christine Malek 57:43
Oh, well, Sassy is the coaching started about three years ago. Sassy, the word. Okay. It's started out as strong, assertive, smart and independent. And as I said, that started with the Girl Scouts. My daughter was in Scouts. I was a leader. I kept hearing from all the girls, I can't do this. I can't do that. You know, I'm too shy. And I'm like, even back, right? I didn't know any better. I was still with my first husband. And even then, you know, I even came up with one for I can't imagine children achieving neat things and that. Oh, I love that. I know, right? Because I kept hearing the girls say, Wow, I makes Christine, I can't do this. I can't do that. We can do whatever the fuck we want, you know? So that's where I can't comes in. And that's how Sassy started as my daughter got older. And of course, as I got older, we added that second ass in there for sexy and sexy doesn't always mean showing off your body. Sexy, elegant, Sexy is a it's a way of being is. 

Rich Bennett 58:49
Thank you. 

Christine Malek 58:50
Yeah. They all right. Thank you. Right. 

Rich Bennett 58:53
Yes. 

Christine Malek 58:55
So I try to live sexy every day and I describe it like this. Okay. It's five letters. Most days I am all caps sase. There are some days that I could be just a small letter. S small letter. A small letter, a small address, Big letter A You know, I they don't have to be all you know, we're still sassy, but we have our ups and downs. Yeah. Humans, you know, So that's sassy. 

Rich Bennett 59:20
I love that. 

Christine Malek 59:21
Thank you. 

Rich Bennett 59:22
And now and correct me if I'm wrong, because you keep mentioning the coaching. 

Christine Malek 59:26
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 59:27
But you're coaching people anywhere, not just there where you're at, because you can also do it virtually, right? 

Christine Malek 59:33
Absolutely. Absolutely. 

Rich Bennett 59:34
Just like we are now. 

Christine Malek 59:35
Yes. I love it. 

Rich Bennett 59:37
Thank God. Thank God for COVID. A lot of good things came out of that, did it? 

Christine Malek 59:43
Yes, it did. 

Rich Bennett 59:44
There. The podcast, first of all, was the name of the pilot. 

Christine Malek 59:47
The name of the podcast is Talking Sassy, all caps about abuse, amplifying women's voices. 

Rich Bennett 59:54
I love it. And you started this in October. 

Christine Malek 59:56
Did in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:03
That's in October, too. 

Christine Malek 1:00:04
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:06
Is everything in. 

Christine Malek 1:00:07
October? 

Rich Bennett 1:00:10
Well, I didn't realize that. 

Christine Malek 1:00:13
I'm trying to change that to be every month. Every month. Every day. It should be suicide awareness. Yes. Domestic violence awareness. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:23
Yeah. We don't need a month to to raise awareness. It's got to be every day of the year. I agree with you 100%. And that's for everything. 

Christine Malek 1:00:31
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:32
Yeah, it's. Yeah, that's ridiculous. So with the podcast you started in October, how many episodes in are you already. 

Christine Malek 1:00:40
I'm I will be releasing the 12th episode on Friday so far for you and I it will be December 20. What's the date when it's 22nd? 

Rich Bennett 1:00:52
I see you said all these other podcasts you've been on. That's why you decided to do it, because everybody kept saying You need to do a podcast, but here's something you may not have thought of or you may have because we mentioned the book earlier. MM The podcast is also helping with the book because you could transcribe your story, which makes it easier. So now you drop in once a week. 

Christine Malek 1:01:19
A week. No. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:20
If once a week. Okay, good. Yes. 

Christine Malek 1:01:25
Come rain or shine, snows league don't matter. I got a roof over my head. So. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:31
So people listen to you have to check out her podcast and also refer to other people, tell other people about it because that's it's just going to help it grow. And she's getting a very important she's talking about a very important topic, something that other people need to talk about, need to spread the word. She and you talk, you have guests on every episode, right? 

Christine Malek 1:02:00
Not every I'm still working on getting guests now. This coming Friday, I do have a guest. That's Lisa Tickle. She is a childhood trauma coach. A few weeks ago, I had Carrie Lewis. She is an addiction specialist. We talked about the addiction with women on and men of abuse. 

And I'm actually recording three episodes this afternoon with guests. So, yeah, we're getting there. Oh, wow. We're getting there. Yeah, Most most are. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:29
Is there some? Go ahead. I'm sorry. 

Christine Malek 1:02:32
I was I said most of it's me and my big mouth, right? Yes, I am. I am. I am getting other guests. I got a chance. Hey. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:44
Here's something funny you say, big mouth. Yeah, I can listen to you all day. In all honesty, I could. That episode that I was listening to yesterday, I don't yet. I forgot the name of the podcast you were on. I can't even tell you the host name. I was focused on you. 

Christine Malek 1:03:02
Thank you. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:04
So, yeah, I could listen to you all day. Yeah. I mean, your story is just. I'm glad you're putting your story out there because people need to hear it and yeah, I hope my listeners gain something from this. And, you know, I know you're going to help somebody. You know, one of my listeners. I just know you are because. I've had people contact me, 

which to me is the biggest reward of the podcast when somebody contacts you and thanks you for an episode you put out there. And I've had that happen, especially when we talk about addiction and even mental health and, you know, even the abuse. 

Christine Malek 1:03:44
Your God and suicide. You do not talk about suicide enough. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:49
Oh, we we've talked about suicide. 

Christine Malek 1:03:52
Okay, good, good. Yeah. Keep doing it because. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:54
Yeah, because. 

Christine Malek 1:03:55
Ed needs more light. Because we go through that mental health thing. We are. Yeah, I know. I know. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:01
The hardest part. Here's the funny thing. Well, it's not funny. It's a sad thing with with the podcast episodes about suicide, you have to be creative on how you marketed and put the episode out there because there are some social media platforms. If you ever mentioned suicide, they'll take it down, 

they will take it down, and it's like we're getting the word out there. Why are you? I don't I don't understand it. I have some other beliefs on that, but I don't know. I don't want to get to that rabbit hole. You know where you do? 

Christine Malek 1:04:39
I do. I do that. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:43
So something very important. Christine, tell everybody your website and how they can get in touch with you. 

Christine Malek 1:04:49
Website is WW W dot sassy coach dot com sase Hi coach S.O.S. dot com the best way to. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:01
Go oh go ahead now going to say can you can you say that. 

Christine Malek 1:05:05
Again as the. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:07
Website. 

Christine Malek 1:05:07
As a SSRI coach dot com sassy coach. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:12
Oh no not spelling it how how did you when I first ask you how did you say it WW go ahead yeah. 

Christine Malek 1:05:18
W WW dot sassy coach dot com. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:23
You sound just like a good friend of. 

Christine Malek 1:05:25
Mine Oh. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:26
George I'm going to give him a little plug here George Boring because his site he's always going WDW w dot BW But. 

Christine Malek 1:05:35
Listen, we tried. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:35
Like net dot. 

Christine Malek 1:05:37
Where we talked about that sorry old school, you know, it was like, I think. I know. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:43
Right? 

Christine Malek 1:05:44
Well, see, everything everything is, is sassy related, everything I do you want to reach me Christine at sad sassy coach dot com you want to find me on Facebook type in sassy coach Christine you won't find me on Instagram. LinkedIn Sassy. That is my thing it's I have to. Yeah Oh yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:03
It's your brand. 

Christine Malek 1:06:04
It is. It is with that it. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:05
It's your brand and you're building your brand. 

Christine Malek 1:06:08
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:09
So before I get to my last question, God, I wish I had more time. 

Christine Malek 1:06:13
I mean, I have. I have. Time. Am I'm good. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:16
So unfortunately, I know. Is there anything you you would like to add before I ask you the last question? 

Christine Malek 1:06:23
You it's something that I always do on my podcast and you touched on it and thank you for that. I appreciate it. Anywhere I post anything, I say anything I do, no matter what it is. Share, share, share, share. We never know because as a woman of abuse, we hide it. We try and hide it so much because of the self-loathing, the self-confidence is gone. You know, all all those negative emotions that we go through. We don't want anyone to know that we have been abused. So we never know what. Woman it could be your mother, your sister. You're, you know, an ex-wife, ex girlfriend, neighbor. You never know, right? You don't know. So share everything. Share this episode. And Rich, thank you so much for having me. I really do appreciate this. Oh, hey. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:14
It's my pleasure. And the door's. 

Christine Malek 1:07:15
Open. Thank you. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:16
Seriously, you you definitely have to come on again. 

Christine Malek 1:07:19
And I want you to come on mine to that it out when I get. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:23
Well. Well, to talk about my abuse Absolutely. 

Christine Malek 1:07:25
Or addictions I do because there's so intertwined addictions and oh yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:32
I have no problem with that. 

Christine Malek 1:07:34
Thank you. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:35
So I always love asking this question. You've been on you've had several interviews. I mean, a lot of people have interviewed you. Yes. And I know there's a lot of questions that I want to ask you today, but you changed it, which is why you got to come back again. Okay. But out of all the interviews you've been on, is there anything a host has never asked you? And it doesn't have to be about abuse or addiction, but is there anything that a house has never asked you that you wish they would have asked you? And if so, what would be the question and what would be your answer? 

Christine Malek 1:08:10
Okay, so the answer is no, because I always make sure if they don't ask the question, somehow I bring it up and we talk about it resolutely. But I have always said I am, I am an open book, always an open book, because, again, I believe in sharing everything that I've gone through from from, you know, my grandfather molesting me till I was four or five years old, an uncle that that raped me to actually, there's one thing that I will not talk about. So I've been gang raped several times, Many times raped many times. I've been abducted three times. Okay. The the the critical the I was 19 years old I was given a mickey or whatever the hell the date rape drugs are. Yeah. The next thing I know, I'm waking up tied to this gentleman's completely naked, held me there for four or five days against my will, kept me drugged. I had to go to the bathroom when he said I mean sexual acts like you wouldn't believe. Okay. Shower when he said brush my teeth. I mean, you know, the full blown total control abduction that one was. I'll talk about it. Okay. But the only thing I will not talk. About. One thing that I will and Oh, yeah. And then there's there's more. Okay. Like, there's so much shit is it's like. Why? Yeah. Okay. There are days that even I go, Why? You know why? 

Rich Bennett 1:09:42
Why me? 

Christine Malek 1:09:43
Right Yeah, but there's one thing that I will not talk about. It's kind of one of those. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Okay, one thing, right? So when I was in the hospital, I had the priest. It was a or whatever, whatever he was, whatever non-denominational. Every day he would stop at my room. And of course, at that point I was still a nonbeliever. I didn't believe in my God anymore. And every day he's up in Hi, Christine. How I know I'm good, Father. I mean, I'd shut him down immediately every day. And I'm godfather now. I'm godfather every day. Every day. Every day like clockwork. I'd even look at the clock and how fuck he's going to come by again. And I got to say, you know, to one day, yeah, whatever reason, he stopped and he said, Christine, on that, I just wanted to say good morning. See how you're feeling. I said, No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You stop right there. He said, yes. And he kind of peaked his head around the door. I said, Come on in, Father, It's time. 

Sorry. I get choked up thinking about it. So yeah, we spent hours. 

Sorry. 

Rich Bennett 1:10:48
Hours. Just don't apologize. 

Christine Malek 1:10:50
It was a total 

confession. And I had done the whole 12 years, 13 years, a CD, glasses raised, Roman Catholic, I mean, full blown everything. And. And that is just that is the one thing that what happened between he and I stays between him because that's between me and my God. 

Rich Bennett 1:11:12
Wow. 

Christine Malek 1:11:13
But everything else, I'm an open book about it. 

Rich Bennett 1:11:18
Well, Christine, I want to thank you so much. It's been a true honor to speak with you. And like I said, the door is open. Yeah, if you want me. Come on. Yours. I have no problem. Yes, were actually. Well, I'll tell you after hit stop. There's something else I want to talk. 

Christine Malek 1:11:36
Okay? Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:11:37
Thank you so much. Thank you for everything that you're doing and helping others. You are a true angel. Thank you. 

Christine Malek 1:11:45
Thank you. It's.