Died By Suicide: Remembering John with Tessa Harrington

Rich Bennett 0:00
So my guess I came across her podcast and Tessa, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe I had recommended it because I had another young lady on and we were talking about suicide awareness. And every time I always recommend a podcast at the end and I came across Tessa's, I was like, Oh, okay. And then I looked at her stories. I definitely I got to not just feature her podcast, but also get her on. So I have Tessa Harrington on, who is the host of Died by Suicide Podcast. First of all, how are you doing? 

Tessa Harrington 0:38
Tessa Doing all right. 

Rich Bennett 0:41
Staying dry, you know, for now. 

Tessa Harrington 0:45
Only have a weekend go. 

Rich Bennett 0:46
Yeah. Yeah. So she's she's up north for me and they have Hurricane Lee, which is I'm hoping it's going to stay offshore, but yeah, you're going to get wet. Yeah, the way it looks. Oh, so you can't. Let's. Let's, let's just dig right into. I don't want to talk about the podcast yet, but tell us what it was that actually 

why you decided to start this podcast. I guess you said, well, I guess we are going to get right into the podcast. Why did you tell your story about why you started this podcast? 

Tessa Harrington 1:22
So my husband, he is a he was a military veteran and died by suicide in January. 

Rich Bennett 1:32
This January. 

Tessa Harrington 1:33
This January. Wow. And after. So he had like a long it felt when I look back on it, a lot of stuff in hindsight, you know, he had a long struggle and he stopped kind of taking care of himself and he stopped talking and he stopped doing everything you should be doing when you're having mental health struggles. So after kind of the dust settled after his funeral and everything, I decided that I'm going to do the exact opposite of what he did and I am going to take care of myself and I'm going to keep talking and I'm going to take whatever steps I can in order to be okay. Yeah, because you also have two children. And so I had to be there for them and prove it. So it's been a little bit crazy year. Yeah. Four months before that, my dad also died suddenly, so. 

Rich Bennett 2:36
Good Lord. 

Tessa Harrington 2:37
Yeah, it was. It was insanity. Like when I feel like I tell people, they're like, That's not your life. It was like, No, it is my life. 

So I was struggling a lot, needless to say. And one of my friends had given me a a link to a website of this support group that meets probably 20 minutes from where I live. Oh. And which is it? I thought they were, like, all over the place. Like you think of support groups, like they're everywhere. But it's that they're not. Not especially for suicide. Especially for about suicide. So I went there and this one wasn't even about suicide group. It was just like family members. And it made me feel so much better about like I wasn't, you know, automatically healed, but it made me feel so much better just being able to be in a group of people that felt the same things that I did, that experience the same guilt and 

sadness and anger and all of those things that I did. And when I kind of researched it a little bit more, finding out that there's really not a lot out there, I figured, okay, I have the time and I have the means to start a podcast, right? Which will get, you know, if people want to listen to it, at least here is somebody here is me telling my experiences, my perspectives, my feelings, all this type of thing that could maybe help them not feel so alone in their experience. Mm hmm. And that's why I started it. 

Rich Bennett 4:17
So now what branch was your husband in? 

Tessa Harrington 4:20
He was Army National Guard. 

Rich Bennett 4:21
Army Army? National Guard? 

Tessa Harrington 4:24
Yes. So he was actually he was in a weird position because he was full time with the Active Guard Reserve and he was about to go on his third deployment. 

So he died January 17th. He was supposed to leave for a deployment February 7th. 

Rich Bennett 4:43
Wow. Okay. So where was his other his other two deployments to? 

Tessa Harrington 4:47
His first one was in Afghanistan. He was as in 11 Bravo, which is infantry. Yeah. I'm not super like even being like my dad was in the military, too. I'm not good at, like, military flying, but I know some of the military, like. Right. Different things. 

Rich Bennett 5:04
And every branch is different. 

Tessa Harrington 5:06
Yeah. So he was he was in the infantry and this is when he was like 19, so 2010. And he was in the combat a combat deployment in Afghanistan. And then he deployed again to Iraq. Now, as when he was in the medevac. So he switched from 11 bravo to a 68 whiskey with an F two qualifier, I think. But he was a flight paramedic. Yeah. For the medevac unit. 

Rich Bennett 5:37
Which is still hard. 

Tessa Harrington 5:38
Yeah. Oh, definitely. 

And he did that. He deployed eight days after our son was born. So that was the second deployment. 

Rich Bennett 5:48
So how both times. How long was he over there? 

Tessa Harrington 5:52
About a year. 

Rich Bennett 5:53
About a year? Okay. And then I tell you, he got. Oh, no use. He didn't get out because you said he was ready to. He was supposed to deploy in February. 

Tessa Harrington 6:02
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 6:03
Okay. 

Tessa Harrington 6:04
Then that would have been his third deployment and he would have been back as a medevac 

paramedic then. 

Rich Bennett 6:11
Do you know if he had PTSD or anything? 

Tessa Harrington 6:15
I'm sure he did. After his first deployment, he in back in 2019, he actually or not 19, 

2009, 2010, he actually had a C side attempt after that. 

Rich Bennett 6:29
Well, I'm sorry. Back up when. 

Tessa Harrington 6:32
Back in, I think. I'm not exactly sure the exact year. But shortly after his deployment to Iraq, he had a previous suicide attempt then. 

Rich Bennett 6:41
Okay. And after he didn't do anything to help him. 

Tessa Harrington 6:46
On the day he was in, I think an inpatient facility for I think a week. 

But after that deployment, there's been a lot from that unit that have actually died by suicide, which is another another big reason why I started the podcast, because I feel like if enough people talk about it, enough people argue about it, or at least there's a lot more awareness to it and maybe hopefully the military can change their 

their thoughts or their their ways that they deal with. 

Rich Bennett 7:23
Well, you figured at 22 a day, you figured at 22 a day they would have done that already? 

Tessa Harrington 7:27
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 7:28
I mean, that's just that I, I it just gets me there he was. He attempted and he was so in. They only put him in a facility for one week. 

Tessa Harrington 7:39
Yeah. I think something like. 

Rich Bennett 7:40
That that's just. And then they went ahead and shipped him off anyways. 

Tessa Harrington 7:46
Mm hmm. 

Rich Bennett 7:47
I don't. I mean, I knew the military changed since I've been in, but I would think stuff like that would have changed for the better. 

Tessa Harrington 7:56
Yeah. I mean, I think they're. They're working on it right now. Yeah. That in some units, at least in the National Guard that they're putting in on 

physicians or psychiatrists, people that aren't part of the military, but they work with the military mental health, which is good because they don't report back to military. They can there's still patient confidentiality and stuff like that, which I think is really important. 

And so it looks like they're taking some tech steps, but it'd be nice if it was more preventative than reactive. 

Rich Bennett 8:32
Yeah. Now, have you actually talked to anybody on your podcast from the military that you know well deals with people that are in that are going through this? 

Tessa Harrington 8:44
Not yet. I haven't, actually. So the way that I set up my podcast, I decided to do it seasonally versus just like, you know, weekly or like episodes, because some of my things, they take a little bit a while to develop. Yeah, they talk a lot about my son's struggles or my struggles, that kind of thing. And so sometimes I like to just wait for them to play out the the okay, this is how I handle that. This is how it's going. So I dropped I think, nine episodes and that's my season one. I'm kind of working slowly on season two stuff, which I'm going to be talking with at least one person from the Army National Guard who deals with mental health, behavioral health, that kind of thing. 

Rich Bennett 9:31
Good. So and I'm glad you mentioned because I wanted to ask you that with because I mean, just in general, I mean, since January. But you are you dove into this and make it more people aware of it. But how was it for you at first? I mean, because I I'm sure it had to take you some time before you decided, okay, I need to do something. But how was it free for you at first that day when you found out that he died by suicide? How long before you actually, I guess, were able to 

I don't want to say get back to normal because I don't think you ever do now. 

Tessa Harrington 10:16
I'm never going to be that person. Yeah. You know, on January 16th and, you know, a very new person. And it took a while to kind of get to the point where I didn't feel like a zombie, where I just didn't feel completely numb. I'd say that took about three months at least, but I it took me about three weeks to kind of start finding help for myself. At least. 

Rich Bennett 10:45
Three weeks. 

Tessa Harrington 10:46
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 10:48
Now, has your family been pretty supportive, I take it? 

Tessa Harrington 10:52
Yes, I have. So I live with my mom. Okay. And she and I get along. I'm very lucky because I. That's good. My mom and I are, like, besties, so I. Some people are like, I could not stand my mom, but no, my mom is amazing. And we you know, she's still kind of going through grief with my dad. So we're kind of like going through this grieving process together, which is weird. 

Rich Bennett 11:14
But you're supporting each other. 

Tessa Harrington 11:16
Yeah, we are. Yeah, I his my husband's unit is very close, and they have been like, I actually had to kick them out of my house and because they were all just one, they still deployed. You know, they, they also left. And I was like, you need to go be with your family because there is like at least ten of them here a day, giving my give, bringing food, bringing Legos, you like hanging out. And I was like, you guys need to go. I love you. You're amazing, but you need to go be with your families. And then, you know, they check up on us all the time, and they're they're amazing. And I have a my brother who lives pretty close to us is I have I'm very, very lucky where I have an amazing family and his unit. You know, I have a lot of people that are supporting me. 

Rich Bennett 12:05
You know, And that's a good thing, too, because, you know, with him being in the National Guard, everybody's right there local. If it would have been regular Army, you'd be lucky if there is one or two, you know, one or two of his guys that served with them even close by. 

Tessa Harrington 12:20
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 12:21
You know, so you have that big support system right there as well. And now how old are your kids? I have four kids, right? 

Tessa Harrington 12:29
Yeah. Okay. So my son is five and my daughter is one. 

Rich Bennett 12:36
Okay, so you're because I'm sure your your daughter probably didn't really. 

Tessa Harrington 12:42
She has she has no idea how. 

Rich Bennett 12:45
How has your son been with all of this? 

Tessa Harrington 12:49
It's been pretty rough for him. He and my husband, you know, we're best friends here. Like, you know, I pushed his £9 butt out of me, but, you know, him and his daughter, like Betsy, were besties and 

I. So he was like, he was my first priority, right? All of this was like, I need to make sure that he's okay. So I got him into play very pretty quickly. And that's been that's been amazing for him. 

And but he gets pretty anxious with changes. Yeah. And apparently with kids, what I've learned through all of this is that they start to deal with this, deal with everything, kind of like in the second six months versus the first six months. We're adults trying to deal with it. So we're at like the nine month mark. So he's been going through a lot more of it. You know, he just started kindergarten, so that was a big change. 

Rich Bennett 13:46
Yeah. 

Tessa Harrington 13:47
Now it's been you know, I try to be as patient with I as I can with some of his. You know, he gets really, really, like, overly upset sometimes. And I try to be patient and talk with him through it, that kind of thing. But it's definitely been hard on him. 

Rich Bennett 14:05
Wow. Well, I when we're finished, I want to offer you something which hopefully it'll help him as well. So the podcast, because you got I'm sorry, how many episodes out for the first season? 

Tessa Harrington 14:19
Nine, nine, nine episodes. 

Rich Bennett 14:23
And do you know when the second season will be start when you launch it? 

Tessa Harrington 14:28
I'm hoping that November. 

Rich Bennett 14:31
November, Right around Veterans Day. 

Tessa Harrington 14:36
Yes. Okay. The hard part is I just started nursing school. Oh, I'm doing I'm doing a lot. I think. 

Rich Bennett 14:45
We are. Hold on. Let me get this straight. Okay. So you're a mom? 

Tessa Harrington 14:49
I am. 

Rich Bennett 14:49
Two kids. Youngest one's one. You're doing a podcast. You go, Don't you work full time as well? 

Tessa Harrington 14:58
No. Okay. I work for them home. Like I work. I work, like, kind of when I want to. I'm supposed to work 16 hours a month, but I work kind of randomly. 

Rich Bennett 15:13
I've only heard that term with lawyers. I really. You're not a lawyer, are you? 

Tessa Harrington 15:19
No, I'm. No, I have a I have a background as a paramedic. 

Rich Bennett 15:25
Do you really? 

Tessa Harrington 15:26
Yeah, that's right. Oh, well, thank you. Paramedic school. Okay. And. But I have been. I work for a medical simulation company in Hartford where we do everything from, like, EMS simulation stuff. And we have an EMT program and a paramedic program there. But we also do everything up to, like, robotic surgery. 

Rich Bennett 15:48
So robotic surgery? 

Tessa Harrington 15:51
Yeah. We have, like, special robotic surgery, things that doctors can practice on in. Really? Yeah. That's not my specialty. I run all the I run the immaf courses. We do like military and police like, of course, and stuff like that. That's. That's my wheelhouse. So. 

Rich Bennett 16:10
So you should have no problem with nursing school then? 

Tessa Harrington 16:12
Yeah, that's what everybody tells me. I know there's things that I'm going to learn and I'm trying to be open to learning and like, at least helping out my because it's an accelerated program. So we get our, our nursing. Like, I'll get my bachelor's in nursing science in a year, so. 

Rich Bennett 16:30
Wow. 

Tessa Harrington 16:32
And I do like. 

Rich Bennett 16:33
I'm sorry. 

Tessa Harrington 16:34
About that. 

Rich Bennett 16:36
So do you want to work at a regular hospital or a VA? 

Tessa Harrington 16:39
I want to work at a probably a regular hospital. Okay. I really enjoy the E.R., Like I enjoy kind of the chaos of it all. I think eventually I'd like to be a flight nurse and. 

Rich Bennett 16:55
You say a flight nurse? 

Tessa Harrington 16:56
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 16:58
It's like on a medevac. 

Tessa Harrington 17:00
Yeah, like on a like a civilian. Okay. Right. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 17:06
No, at first, because first off, think of women. There's this mean. You're like you're going to be almost like a flight attendant on airlines all the time. But they hit me. Yeah, the medevac helicopter and all that. So. Yeah, Yeah. 

Tessa Harrington 17:19
So that's like my goal. And then there's a lot of there's a couple of other things I want to do after that. So yeah. 

Rich Bennett 17:25
Such as? 

Tessa Harrington 17:27
Well, so currently in my very calm life, I'm also working on starting a foundation, um, in John's honor. Good. And I really want to support not only military personnel and spouses or families, but also first responders and EMT and the I feel like they're we're very much in the same boat where we have to deal with so much crazy stuff, but there's really not a lot of stuff there for us. So that's what I want to work on, like helping with some educational support as well as some like mental health support as well. 

Rich Bennett 18:07
That's awesome. You're right. Because when it comes to active military veterans and first responders, especially first responders, I think they get overlooked a lot. But when it comes to PTSD and depression, it's off the charts just in especially, you know, especially police and EMT. Yeah, from from what I know. And just talking to others that have been there. 

Tessa Harrington 18:33
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 18:33
I've been in it. All right. So you said the foundation. And what was the other thing you said 

or did you. 

Tessa Harrington 18:43
I don't. I don't think I said anything else. 

Rich Bennett 18:44
Okay. Okay. Because you said you had a couple of things in to work. Okay. 

Tessa Harrington 18:49
Maybe I was thinking eventually I'd like. I'd like to own a business, so I might go back and get my MBA and, like, have some sort of my own business or something like health care, that kind of thing. But I'm still in the work, so I have to get through the next year. And right now I put too much on my plate. 

Rich Bennett 19:06
Yeah. Have you thought about writing a book? 

Tessa Harrington 19:09
No, I haven't. 

Rich Bennett 19:11
Well, why not? 

Tessa Harrington 19:13
I know one of the other reasons I actually got into podcasting is because a lot of my friends said, Oh, you should get into journaling, You should get into this. And I like writing and journaling. That kind of stuff is not 

too much in my wheelhouse. I don't know. I just feel like a little out of my comfort zone. Yeah. So maybe one day. I mean. 

Rich Bennett 19:41
You're already you're already started. 

Yeah. You think about it, you've already started. What do you do on your podcast? 

Tessa Harrington 19:50
You need to talk. 

Rich Bennett 19:51
But you're telling your story, right? 

Tessa Harrington 19:53
I am, yeah. 

Rich Bennett 19:55
So technically, you've already got a lot of this stuff written down because you can transcribe it. 

Tessa Harrington 20:01
That's true. 

Rich Bennett 20:01
Makes it. Hey, that's what I'm doing. 

Tessa Harrington 20:05
Well, that's me. 

Rich Bennett 20:06
I'm not. I'm not a writer. I mean, I used to write yo songs, but, you know. But when it comes, right, that was my goal to start writing a book this year. And everybody kept saying, It's like Rich, all the different people you have on your podcast, you've got stories there. It's like, Well, yeah, but I, I didn't want to do that, so I'm doing something else. Not my story. Nobody wants to hear my story. 

Tessa Harrington 20:31
Well, yeah, maybe one day, maybe next year. That'll be my thing, you know? 

Rich Bennett 20:34
Well, yeah, after the second or third season, because you'll have a lot in there and you can put it all together. Then your audio books are already done. 

Tessa Harrington 20:42
Yeah. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 20:44
They just got to transcribe it. 

Tessa Harrington 20:45
You know? Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 20:47
So, so with your podcast, what is your, the goals, you know, for the podcast died by suicide. 

Tessa Harrington 20:53
So my goal is definitely getting some more attention and awareness to suicide. You know how to prevent it? Mm hmm. I don't I think I've kind of figured out, like through my mental health journey that it's really, you know, you have to start taking care of yourself long before you start having mental health, because mental health issues are, you know, concerns, especially like depression, anxiety. But I have found through different things, like I work out and I eat much better and I try not to drink too much alcohol. And, you know, I do my cold plunges, which are like, so I have an ice pod. 

Rich Bennett 21:41
Oh, wait a minute. 

Tessa Harrington 21:42
What? It's like a it's like basically a tall, circular, big rubber bathtub. And I fill it with ice and I get it to between like 45 and 50 degrees. Makes it for like 5 minutes and it makes me feel so much better. I know it's crazy. It sounds bananas. 

Rich Bennett 22:02
But watch it. Kevin Hart's going to call you and have you come on his show. 

Tessa Harrington 22:07
But it's my like one of my favorite things to do when I'm really anxious is just to kind of sit in there and like, physically slow your heart rate. 

Rich Bennett 22:16
Well, yeah. 

Tessa Harrington 22:18
Which sometimes, I mean, because it's like, I can't like, I do everything I can to like, kind of like, especially because I've had a lot of anxiety. Yeah. And it's just it's sometimes it just comes on like, I can't do too much about it, but, but like, just sitting in there for a little bit just helps me see my race plunges. Mm hmm. 

Rich Bennett 22:40
Do you do the polar pair? Polar read lips here? The polar bear plunge every year to now. 

Tessa Harrington 22:48
Okay, I did it. And my friends and I got together one year and randomly did something like that. But, okay, we're trying to plan on maybe doing one soon or maybe this year. Next year. 

Rich Bennett 23:00
So the ice plunge, which helps out with your you said your anxiety. Mhm. Right. What else are you doing that helps yoga and meditation or anything like that. 

Tessa Harrington 23:11
I'm not great at meditation. Okay. Because like my brain just like goes completely blank. I try to quiet my brain and like breathe and stuff like that, but I just, I, I'm not good at meditation and like, I cover all of this stuff on my podcast, like ways that help me. I do a lot of range singing in my car. 

Rich Bennett 23:29
I'm sorry, a lot of why I'm working, a lot of do things here. 

Tessa Harrington 23:33
I don't sell. A lot of my stuff works for me and it's just like I music is very like very powerful to me. Like I write some songs just like hit me, even if they have nothing to do with any of like, my situation, just some songs. I just love to know if I'm having a rough day. I'll just kind of sit in my car and turn up the music and just kind of scream to like the same song over and over. Like sing it like kind of really loudly and like, sing it over and over again. 

Rich Bennett 24:03
Okay. Rage singing. Now I understand. I thought you meant like, it was 

like, heavy metal, But. But you do it to anything. 

Tessa Harrington 24:13
Yeah, you get. 

Rich Bennett 24:13
You can even rage sing to Adele, I guess. 

Tessa Harrington 24:16
Oh, absolutely. 

Rich Bennett 24:18
Wow. 

Tessa Harrington 24:19
Yeah. So I think rage, that makes it sound a little bit more intense than it actually is. Yeah, that's kind of like when I'm having a rough day or I'm like, really mad. That just, like, that helps me. 

Rich Bennett 24:30
Tunes with Tessa. 

The hell is the book? You need to put out a CD? Yeah. Oh, God, no. Whenever it's out now, just cause. Oh, you need to do that car karaoke with what's his face? 

Tessa Harrington 24:45
Yeah, it's James Corden. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 24:46
Yeah. Who? Probably look at you like, what the hell is wrong with her screaming? 

Tessa Harrington 24:53
Wow. So back to your original question. So I definitely like how people can, you know, or at least how I work on my mental health are my anxiety, stuff like that. But also to get different perspectives and different ways that people handle suicide and kind of the survivor end of it, because there's a lot that goes into it that I think people don't really realize, you know? And then I didn't realize until I experienced it. So like I said, my second season, I'm hoping to be pretty like interview heavy because I feel like I've told my story and I will give some updates. But I want to I'm I'm speaking with somebody from the behavioral health team for the Army National Guard. I will hopefully actually the priest that did his funeral and my dad's funeral. Oh, heaven. Because I feel like although I like it's not like a religious podcast, I feel like that was some of the stuff he had said was very powerful and very Yeah, for me. And he's a really, really nice guy. And so I kind of like to bring in different perspectives, not just my own, because everybody has different experiences, but just so people can 

learn about mental health awareness, talk about suicide more because people don't like to talk about it. It's very, you know, it's a hush hush, you know, taboo type thing and just be there for people if they can't if they don't have a support group, if they don't have something around them, you know, give them, okay, this is an outlet. 

Rich Bennett 26:27
Yeah. Now you're going to try to are you keeping all your guests local or are you looking for guests from all over the country? All over the world? 

Tessa Harrington 26:36
I'm open to whatever. I'm open. Okay. Yeah, I'm not super great. I like the podcasting thing, so I'm just learning a lot of it. Luckily, my my cousin helps me a lot, so he he's been good. Pretty good. But I'm. Yeah, I'm kind of working slowly, working on being better at the technology side of it. 

Rich Bennett 26:57
I was going to say, and if he's not available, just reach out to me. I've been doing this since 2015 and I love I just love helping other podcasters, especially when they have a good message to deliver. 

Tessa Harrington 27:08
I appreciate. 

Rich Bennett 27:08
That. You definitely do, without a doubt. So the second season's going to be more interviews and I'm sure you show some more. Well, yeah, throughout the whole every season you're going to have more to tell about yourself, about your story. Yeah, because I know your listeners are going to want to know about your son, too. Yeah. Both kids, you know, and probably even your mother. 

Tessa Harrington 27:35
Mm hmm. Yeah, I'm probably going to have her on next season. You know, I want to do kind of an episode on my dad and, like, the differences, you know, and their death and that kind of thing, because it was very different how I felt after my dad died and have to have felt after John, my husband died. So. 

Rich Bennett 27:56
Yeah. And when you get the foundation started, you got to come back on and push that because I think there's I mean, you're I'm starting to see more flavor when she throws pop mom for that. But I still think we need more and I only know of 

here in Maryland I know of two or three three minute Illinois foundation be my boys, probably three. And I think all three of them have been on the podcast before. 

Tessa Harrington 28:29
Yeah. So the the One Foundation, the support group that I went to was the Bryan Dingle Foundation. And in Connecticut and okay, Niantic and they had Bryan healing hearts and their son died by suicide, I believe in 

2013, somewhere around then. And so since then they've created this beautiful, lovely warming welcome like place where people can go and they have these all these different support groups. They have a couple of grief counselors there that they, you know, people can if they can't get insurance or they don't have insurance, they can use them, that kind of stuff. So. 

Rich Bennett 29:10
Right. 

Tessa Harrington 29:11
They you know, they've been so helpful. And I actually she was my last interview on the on my podcast. She's my last episode is talking with her. 

Rich Bennett 29:21
So when are you actually going to start recording in the next season? 

Tessa Harrington 29:25
Am I probably. I'm Tuesday. Next Tuesday. 

Rich Bennett 29:30
Oh, wow. That quick. Damn. 

Tessa Harrington 29:31
Yeah. So. 

Rich Bennett 29:34
Yeah, yeah. 

Tessa Harrington 29:35
Just take. 

Rich Bennett 29:36
The give yourself some time here, Tessa. 

Tessa Harrington 29:38
I. 

Rich Bennett 29:41
I was going to say because one of the and you said you're already doing it, but I would definitely get out there and get on more podcast to talk about. 

Tessa Harrington 29:48
Well, I think. 

Rich Bennett 29:48
That's just going to help promote it. 

Tessa Harrington 29:51
Yeah, absolutely. Well, I have that. I'm going on a memorial hike tomorrow with the medical detachment. There's a medical detachment kind of group 

here in Connecticut, and they do a memorial hike every I think every September, and we walk 20 to 22 kilometers. So like around 14 miles. And and I'm going to be talking like they have a breakfast part. So I'm talking at the breakfast. And then the Connecticut Army National Guard, they're having a kind of behavioral health thing next Friday, the 22nd. And I'll be like talking at two. So I'm definitely and I like I made up shirts for that, too, because I know people like to to get free stuff. So I made some shirts with that. And so I'm definitely trying to if anybody asks me to be on something or talk, especially if it's in the correct room, then I definitely I generally always are so good. 

Rich Bennett 30:58
Good. Yeah. And you mentioned earlier that you would like to start your own business. 

Yeah, I think. I think at your business. 

Tessa Harrington 31:07
I mean, I could be. 

Rich Bennett 31:08
Yeah. I'm seriously getting out there and talking to people and once you start to, to one see three because a lot of people will start a nonprofit and they put so much time in it, it ends up becoming a full time job. 

Tessa Harrington 31:24
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 31:24
You look at your top nonprofits, they have paid staff and I think that's your calling to start the nonprofit. Do the public speaking, keep the podcast going. Yeah, and definitely do all that because everybody needs to hear your message. Everybody needs to know it's okay to talk about it. 

Tessa Harrington 31:45
Yeah. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 31:46
Well, and go ahead. 

Tessa Harrington 31:50
Now. It's just like, Oh, you know, I'm not good at, like, receiving niceties all the time. Oh. 

Rich Bennett 31:57
No, it's serious. I think it's it's definitely something that you should look into doing, Ira and travel around the country. Why not? Yeah, speaking about it, I just had a lady on two and she was talking. She told me how she. She doesn't do well. She doesn't do public speaking. She does. It's called sketch shooting. And she goes to all these different conferences and she was telling me how she had credit her. I think she said one year old daughter at the time, or she had just whatever it was. And she flew like across the country to get sick with the baby. I'm like, Wow, that's yeah, that's a hmm. 

Tessa Harrington 32:42
Yeah, kids are rough on planes, but I'm just making my into to travelers. So we usually got on some trips with them and we'd figure it out like, you know, things we mean things you got to like because my mom, my mom and I've taken a couple of trips with them, so. 

Rich Bennett 32:57
Right. 

Tessa Harrington 32:58
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 32:59
Yeah. Do it now when you're young, because when they grow older and they grow up so fast. 

Tessa Harrington 33:05
I can't believe I have a five year old. Like, that's so crazy to me. 

Rich Bennett 33:10
But I. I had I had my heart broken the other day because I have cousins that live in England. And every year around Christmas time I would virtual call well, not every year since COVID would virtually call their one daughter and talk to her. And they 

her cousin told her just a few weeks ago how the guy in the red suit scenario. 

Tessa Harrington 33:40
Out. 

Rich Bennett 33:41
There broke my heart. I was like, 

Really? You know it now you just. 

Tessa Harrington 33:47
The person. 

Rich Bennett 33:49
That that just ruined. 

Tessa Harrington 33:50
My 

sorry. 

Rich Bennett 33:53
God. So something very important. Tell everybody the website how they can get in touch with you and where they can listen to your podcast. 

Tessa Harrington 34:03
So my podcast is Die by Suicide Podcast. It's all on all major platforms. 

And like I said, there's nine episodes out, so I think you just have to search it. I also have an Instagram account. It's at DBS, underscore our podcast. 

Rich Bennett 34:23
So I thought you had a website for the podcast. 

Tessa Harrington 34:26
No, not yet. 

Rich Bennett 34:28
Here's the host a through. 

Tessa Harrington 34:31
Anchor or anchor, which is like Spotify. 

Rich Bennett 34:33
Okay. 

Tessa Harrington 34:34
Yeah, Yeah. So I guess like maybe there but I do. 

Rich Bennett 34:37
Yeah. But they're not associated with like pod page or anything. 

Tessa Harrington 34:40
Yeah. No I, yeah, I have to get into all of that. 

Rich Bennett 34:44
So look in the pod page, I mean I've designed websites and for a while I was doing mine and then came across Pod page and it just makes it so much easier and I stopped designing mine it for was $160 a year. I just do it through Pod page now. 

Tessa Harrington 35:00
Oh, wow. 

Rich Bennett 35:01
That's fantastic. Yeah. And What I love about it, it drops all the episodes and puts all my sponsors in there. It's even got the microphone on the side. So somebody wants to leave your voicemail. They can click on that microphone, leave a voicemail. That way you can add it to your podcast episode. 

Tessa Harrington 35:17
Oh, that's awesome. 

Rich Bennett 35:18
Oh, yeah. There's so much you can do with it. It's like, Oh Yeah, this makes it a lot easier. Well, I don't have to sit there typing stuff every day. Sue Tessa, is there anything you would like to add? 

Tessa Harrington 35:33
And I would say that if anybody is listening and they're struggling or if they're don't feel like they're struggling, like I always check in with myself. So people always say, Check with your friends. My big thing is check in with yourself If you're not doing something or if you're not feeling well, if you're not feeling good about something, you know, talk about it. It's okay to talk about it. It's, you know, I always say people say that I'm like, so brave for doing all of these things. And it's like, I'm not a cool person, you know, especially for all these veterans. It's like you've gone overseas or you've gone on deployments, you've done all this crazy stuff. You're clearly brave people is like, be brave for yourself, right? So check in with yourself. Be an advocate for yourself, be brave for yourself because it's people you're worth being here. 

Rich Bennett 36:21
Well, I want to thank you. Thank you for telling your story and sharing it with everybody and making a difference. And don't go anywhere because I want to talk to you about something else when we're done here. 

Tessa Harrington 36:32
But thank you so much for having me on. 

Rich Bennett 36:34
My pleasure. My pleasure.