Empathy Unleashed: Ken Stearns’ Tireless Advocacy for a Stigma-Free Tomorrow

Rich Bennett 0:00
Ken Stern says journey through 15 Asian countries over 20 years, transitioning from a reader to a writer who harnesses his global experiences for deeper self understanding. He founded the Jar Foundation, which we're going to talk about, to advocate for mental health awareness and reduce the stigma surrounding it. Through the foundation's podcast, The Jar, as well as Mental Health today with Ken drives conversations that educate and inspire, emphasizing the need for open dialogue and accessible mental health care. As a dedicated advocate, Ken's efforts aim to build a world where everyone can openly discuss and access quality mental health resources. Ken, first, I just want to thank you for that. We've we talk about mental health a lot, okay? And it's great that people are actually starting to talk about it and make a change because I agree it. Unfortunately for the longest time, 

people, myself included, people didn't want to talk about, yeah, we agreed and thank God for podcast because hey, we're making a difference 

making it. 

Ken Stearns 1:14
We can talk about it. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:16
Oh yeah, definitely so. And actually I had a lot of stuff I wanted to ask you, but when we were talking beforehand, you blew me away with your podcast because I had no idea what you were doing. But before we actually before we get into that. Hmm. I like to find out from you what was it? What was that? That moment that you decided you wanted to do something and be an advocate for mental health? Be basically be a voice for a lot of people. 

Ken Stearns 1:49
Yeah, it's a great it's great question. And Mitch, thanks for having me on. And I love the fact I'm getting to talk to your audience. I really appreciate it. And just a big shout out to everybody listening. You know, it's a it's a great it's a great story. And it's kind of it's good because it kind of appeals my story backwards. In December, I took a break. After starting the podcast, I had gone to about 50 or 60 cities. I'd interviewed a couple hundred people across the country, all different kinds of people. Very randomly. We would get people through Facebook ads as I traveled from city to city and, you know, as I kind of reflected on, I hadn't really taken a break from April to December. I went every day. There wasn't a week at this time. Every day was just dry. Every four days, I changed cities and tried to interview about 3 to 4 people per city. And so I didn't have a lot of time to reflect. And as I sat there in this in a Georgia, you know, a Georgia kind of pine forest, and looking out at this lake, it just kind of the stories of mental health just overwhelmed me. You know, I went through the 200 plus interviews, a giant common thread was people's journey with mental health. And, you know, that's the struggle of it. So either trauma from the outside, you know, childhood trauma, childhood trauma, growing up, little kids, PTA, you know, war vet people, people from the city who were living on the streets and homeless, you know, women who had been assaulted, lots and lots of sexual assault. Yeah, I was just I was so surprised that I was just sitting around and just one day I just said, you know, I need to start I need to start some mental health. And so I thought, okay, I must start a non-profit and figure out. And then as I travel, what I wanted to do, the vision, that immediate vision was to to share resources that I will be able to garner with people that I meet who are trying to turn these tragedies or these difficult parts in life into something positive. Right. A lot of it, you know, and I'm sure you've found this, a lot of the people we talk to have turned things in their life around to become their passion or to become their life, their life volition. And a lot of the people have have gone into and they're starting out with, for example, I met a woman in North Dakota and she you know, she had a movement. Her story was so hard, but she was starting a small kind of community center for people who are in between kind of, you know, unhoused and kind of getting into the system. And she knew that space. Right. And so she was she was starting out, but she had no money. And if I had five or ten grand, I could have just given that would have helped her, helped people. And it wasn't institutional. She's never going to get institutional money. She is never going to get grants or it will take a long time. So I thought that was the motivation was to help people who were trying to help other people. And I figured I can raise money. I'm pretty good at it. Eventually, I'll figure it out on this podcast space. And so that was the idea. And then, you know, a couple of days later, I said, Hell, I got to start a podcast. And I told my daughter on a Thursday. I said, Hey, next Thursday is is April or March 3rd. Three 323 I love numbers. I'm I'm going to start I'm going to start a podcast on that day. And, you know, my poor daughter just texted me like, could Godfather and not another one. And and so I called a friend and I said, Hey, I need you to be my first guest. I don't know this stream. I don't know the software at all because I was not going to do this face to face. But very but live like your show, you know, a recorded show. And and so I started doing live podcasts on April and I've done about 70 I've had about 70 guests on so far since April and or since March. And the idea richest is to meet people who are in this space trying to solve the problems. Yeah. So other other mental health advocates. So I and what they call modalities so different treatments whether it's drugs or music or ketamine or mushrooms or or pharmaceutical drugs, all different kinds of ways that people are trying to jump in and also help. So that's kind of my story and how I ended up with that mental health today. And it's a great it's a great chat for me. I don't know if it's a great audience piece, but it's really interesting for me because I'm learning a lot. 

Rich Bennett 6:18
Yeah. You know, one of the things that I found out with my podcast because we we talk about mental health a lot when it comes to addiction, we're number one for addiction. But wow. And if you haven't had it happen to you yet, I'm sure you're going to. 

Ken Stearns 6:35
Mm. 

Rich Bennett 6:36
It's awesome. And you know, you're getting through to people when you get messages, whether it be a voicemail, an email, Facebook message, thanking you for somebody they had on and they learned from it. And that to me has been the biggest reward. 

Ken Stearns 6:54
That's yeah. 

Rich Bennett 6:56
It'll bring tears to your eyes, you know that you might have another guest come out of it 

might come out of it. So now you the your foundation is now 501. She right. 

Ken Stearns 7:11
I'm applied. Haven't got it. So it's okay profit. So it's a nonprofit business and then that allows us to apply and so we're in that you know we're in that queue, whatever that looks like. Okay, months. 

Rich Bennett 7:23
So what's going to be your mission for that? Oh, I know it can take a while. 

Ken Stearns 7:27
Yeah, it can take a while. It really will be to help people who are helping others. 

Rich Bennett 7:32
Okay. Okay. A third. I'm sorry. Go ahead. 

Ken Stearns 7:37
Yeah, And that's it. Because I don't know that space and that what I want to do is empower people who are trying to do good on their own, you know, leverage their own life experience, and they're doing it locally. And again, people who are probably not going to find money other places very easily. Yeah, that's seed money and just throw away money. You know, hopefully something, you know, you plant a few of those and you're going to get a sunflower somewhere. 

Rich Bennett 8:00
Oh yeah. Now you're I said the first podcast, which is the jar life, right. Yeah. When we were talking before because I had no idea of how you were doing it and I you're the only person that I know of that's doing it like this, which I think is freakin awesome. First of all, 

tell everybody what you're doing because, you know, we mentioned in the beginning how you've traveled to all these different countries, but you're still doing something unique with the jar. 

Ken Stearns 8:32
Yeah. So it's a, you know, or maybe rich, maybe it was that that travel for work for 20 something years, you know and right and I would you know, often fly to a city you know get picked up or get in a car, meet some people, go to an off a small office sales office and chitchat and, you know, maybe give say some words and go have a meal. And then go meet another group of people. And I did that for a long time. And, you know, so somehow I ended up designing my own after, you know, post corporate career life to be something similar. You know, it's kind of funny. I'm uniquely qualified for this job. So I came up with this idea, this this concept of a traveling podcast. And the idea was to create 

444 questions about life and to go ask people what they think about these things and to kind of, you know, through that process at the end of this end up with some, you know, kind of beautiful basket of data or information or, you know, emotion, I don't know what we're going to call it at the end. So I created 444 questions around a book that I wrote. And and the topics are your yesterdays, your today's, and your tomorrows. I call it the battlefield of your mind. Everything in your in between your ears. And then you know, when you deal with another person, you've got to have acceptance, forgiveness and compassion. But you have those you have at your tool bag and you're going to go far in life. You're going to have a lot of friends and you know, you're going to be you're going to things are going to be pretty smooth. And then, you know, when you go out and deal with humanity at large, you know, you go out with a loving heart, you got good karma. You know, leave people and things better than you find them. You know, fill people's cups, pick up the trash. And the last one is is have a service mind, you know, be my, you know, going out with a mind of serving humanity, serving your fellow human, you know, in a good way. And the last one is, is I call it the book of kind of you or the universe or God, whatever your spiritual kind of language would be. And and that's faith, hope and prayer, meditation, whatever you might you might plug into those, too, those kind of the religious words, putting spiritual words around them. And so. 

Rich Bennett 10:53
Those are the 12. 

Ken Stearns 10:54
Topics, just those topics and 400 questions printed out stuffing into a big jar at this beautiful jar made hand-blown and I put it in front of the guests and they draw one question after another. And so they're talking about their past, their present, how they think about these things. You're talking about forgiveness and what is this means to them and acceptance, You know, karma, What is karma? And so it's a really I mean, for me, it's just a joyful experience of getting to watch another human kind of reflect, you know, because these are these are heavy topics. 

Rich Bennett 11:32
Yeah. 

Ken Stearns 11:32
And, you know, and you can ask our guests some of these questions in the first 10 minutes. Right. You don't you know, it's it's can't go there. 

Rich Bennett 11:41
It's like leave. 

Ken Stearns 11:43
Yeah they might be like that's such a weird question how can you get this and this and and this. I don't ask the question. They pull it from the jar. 

Rich Bennett 11:53
Wow. 

Ken Stearns 11:54
So it's just a little bit of trickery in the setup. And so it's been fantastic. I've done about I'm on my 85th city. I'm in Moab, Utah. I'm going to Durango tomorrow and then all the way down to New Mexico, you know, to southern and southern Arizona and then over to California. So I'm on my last kind of leg. I've got about 20 cities I'm sorry about yeah, about 25 cities to go for five more states. And in so I'm interviewing, it's just an amazing experience, rich to travel the country after being away for so long and to meet fellow Americans in their homes or in their work or library, but in their neighborhood at the very least. And to just get a pulse on America. And yeah, this it's beautiful. And I got a lot of hope, man. For all the chaos going on in the news and everything else, I got to tell you, people are people are awesome. 

Rich Bennett 12:53
Oh, yeah. 

Ken Stearns 12:54
They got great views and, you know, and people are mostly upbeat and loving and kind and, you know, they. 

Rich Bennett 12:59
Want to get away from all that negativity. That's why I think that's we. 

Ken Stearns 13:04
Absolutely don't want it actually, you know, the whole the whole news cycle and everything else lives in its own separate universe. Most of us, most of us humans are just want to be good humans and and have a great experience in life and and be loved by the people close to us. And and build something. 

Rich Bennett 13:22
Yeah, that's one thing I do not watch anymore is the news. 

Ken Stearns 13:25
It's nothing good on there. 

Rich Bennett 13:27
There's nothing good on there. You don't know what's true and what's what's not. It's. 

Ken Stearns 13:31
It's hard. It Yeah, it's hard. It's hard to really figure out what's. It's. No, there's a game. There's a game being played right. They're trying to fight for, for a time and for advertising money and, you know, political sway. And there's a lot of money in politics, apparently. 

Rich Bennett 13:45
Well, and the thing is, you and I, when we were growing up, one of the things that we always were well, not when we were growing up, basically, I want to say when we started old enough to work, when I was in the advertising field, when what did we always learn that sold sex, drugs and rock and roll? That's what was always sold. Now that's different. What sold that negativity? You got it. Negativity breeds negativity quicker than positivity does. And that's it's it's nuts. But that that whole field has changed so much. It's crazy. So, all right, when you're done here, the United States with the jar, do you plan on traveling to different countries again and doing your best friend countries? 

Ken Stearns 14:38
I it's funny you would say that because, you know, it is kind of in a way a natural conclusion, I guess, but also kind of a crazy one. I've had this one in the back of my kind of niggling around the back of my head is going to India with you. 

You know, the Indian people are very interested in culturally. There's a lot of they're very open to debate and dialogue. Some parts of the country are very, you know, spicy on their debating and the way that they are, the way that they actually have very strong kind of debating. And that's what they're known for. English is is a common language, since second spoken language is English, the travel is quite good. You know, you've got decent travel, there's a lot of people and they're very spiritual and they're very open to their relationship with God. There's no shame or anything around that. They've got different. You can anything can be a God and you know, God is everywhere in all things. And so it would be an interesting conversation with I think there and and the size of the country would be, you know, oh God the number of people. Yeah, they would do it. I would do it with an audience. 

Rich Bennett 15:51
Who. 

Ken Stearns 15:53
I would do it with an audience. 

Rich Bennett 15:54
That would be good. Yeah, good. So the next season is the. 

Ken Stearns 16:03
Season to. 

Rich Bennett 16:04
The JHA in India, and then the following season would have to be, I don't know what country, what country haven't you been to yet? 

Ken Stearns 16:16
Somewhere in Europe, I guess would be a good one. We could do a, you know, somewhere. I think English speaking because of my crutch, you know, I'm going to need English speaking. 

Rich Bennett 16:23
All right. Now, Ken, here's the problem, 

because if you go to Ireland, England, even Scotland, 

you know, you're going to have you're going to have to be recording in the pubs. 

Ken Stearns 16:38
I we're going to have to have a translator. They're going to have to have a little bit of a little bit of a, you know, the words coming across the text on the screen. 

Rich Bennett 16:47
Oh, that could be fun. They're recorded in the pubs. I don't know. I don't know if you would get the podcast finished, each episode finished because, I mean, you'd be shoot down a few pints here and there. You never know what's going on next. 

Ken Stearns 17:01
Oh, man, that would be funny. You'd never know what would happen. 

Rich Bennett 17:05
Oh, that that could be fun. That could be real fun. Sure, actually. So throughout all this in your career, what's the biggest lesson in life you've learned from your travels and you worked overseas as well and your podcast interview so far? I know because with as many people as your interview interview, that can change over time. Got each interview. You're a guest and it could change each time. 

Ken Stearns 17:36
It's a room, right? 

Rich Bennett 17:37
Your personal. Yeah. 

Ken Stearns 17:39
Yeah, yeah. Your perspectives, your perspectives do evolve. And that's an interesting if I do look back, you know, I would have had after that first month, I would have had a very clear impression right. Like I knew what was going on. And then, you know, after about three months, I'd be like, Oh, well, maybe it's a little bit different like that for sure, 100%. The lesson from the job it just comes to me automatically now is you're not alone. 

Rich Bennett 18:09
Right? 

Ken Stearns 18:10
You know, in this human experience, we all have unique experiences, but you're not alone in that in what's happened or what's happening, you know, I mean, how we how we interpreted is unique and our particular situation is unique, but is a general sense. What's going on in our lives is not that unique. You know, there's only so many things that can happen as far as, you know, death and, you know, the different kinds of traumas, the different depressions, the conversations we have with ourselves. You know, you're not alone. I think that's the most important message people can hear, especially, you know, when you're struggling, you're not alone and somebody gone through it and they've come out the other side, somebody is going through it. And, you know, and what I kind of remind people is if you're in that dark tunnel, I mean, you know, sometimes you're you know, you're you're in the office and you're in a dark place. Right? You could be you know, there's people next to you, but you feel alone and, you know, just reach out your hands, You know, just spread your arms out and spread your fingers out. And I mean that, you know, physically, literally and metaphorically, you know, both You're in the dark, you'll find somebody else's hands because there's somebody standing next to you in that darkness, I promise you. And if you reach out, you'll find that other person and you can kind of, you know, you can talk together or you'll find somebody who's got a flashlight. You know, this is you're not alone. Whatever you're going through is a first one, you know, and then you go back to corporate life. You know, when I was a corporate guy running around and, you know, running around and managing either, you know, countries or, you know, the different or in a country and living and working inside the country is just how much we are all the same. And that way, all the cultures we are family. You know, we are we are really the human side of it comes through and you can strip away all the culture, all the language, all the food, all the cool stuff that makes us different. And when you strip it down, man, we are really we just want you know, we want to be respected. We want to be heard. We want to have opportunity. I think that's what you see overseas. Really hungry for that opportunity, man. I tell you, when in America, you know, we got it. So we are so and I say this in a nice way fat, lazy and stupid. And I mean that in the kindest way. Yeah. You know, in Vietnam, you give them a crack at a chance to open a business, to run up, to run some money to earn something. They are all over it and they're hungry for those opportunities. And we have them everywhere in this country. Everywhere. And you still have half the country not paying in or more than half the country doesn't pay an income or doesn't earn enough to pay an income tax. And so many of us are, you know, in this terrible cycle of getting up, going to the office and coming home and, you know, that's not what life is, man. It's about family and friends and enjoying life and and taking the most of the opportunities that are around you and not just falling into the easiest path possible. 

Rich Bennett 21:24
Yeah, I think and I saw this guy, especially when I worked in the corporate world, a lot of people, they were so focused on making all the money and their focus was driven away from their family and their friends and their free time and which God. All right. We talked about taking the jar to different countries, but in all honesty, again, I think you need to take the jar and go to some corporations. A record there, because, you know, mental health is off the charts, stress and everything and the anxiety is off the charts when it comes to the corporate world. 

Ken Stearns 22:11
I all my stress came from the job. 

Rich Bennett 22:15
Yeah, that mine too. 

Ken Stearns 22:18
Yeah. I mean, you know, all my all my anxiety, I mean, not all of it, but a good all my real the real heavy stuff was work related and probably even my personal was a reflection of the work you are. This is actually interesting Rich you've your your intuitiveness is pretty strong. I've I've often thought if you put the jar for this group idea was really where I got this idea if you put the jar in in a small table in two chairs and you put one employee on one side and another employee on the other side and you had a circle of chairs around those two individuals, different departments could be same department, could be the whole company. But you have 20, 30 people in the room and all you have to do is you answer, you answer a question, you pull a card, I read it for you, and then we turn the jar. You pull a card. I read it for you. You answer and you know you do this until, you know, maybe you get every two questions. You put a new person in and you just keep putting a new person in and answering questions. If I heard Rich, what you thought about acceptance, if I heard what you the last time, you know, when was the last time somebody said, I love you to you and you share the story of your wife and you're going to bed or yours or your your grandson call, you know, looking at you and telling you that last Saturday, I would have such empathy for you. I would have such strong emotion. I would have an emotional tie to you. And then I wouldn't feel so upset about you when you said something to me on the factory line or you sent a terse you sent a terse email. I wouldn't take it wrong because I know you as a human. 

Rich Bennett 24:08
Yeah, we'd be on. 

Ken Stearns 24:10
Such a different level. We have no humanity at the office. I don't know anything about you. I mean, I might know you have two kids. Your grandfather. You came, You know, you're in the army for ten years. I know that, but I don't know. Rich, write what you feel inside and who you are. And. And what if you told a story of being adopted and, you know, and then being abused by your, you know, your your your stepfather and, you know, and then I hurt. Holy cow. I never completely different. I would have So much grace for you at the office. I would absolutely give you immense grace and I would approach you differently and we would have such a good working relationship. It would go past the office, would be just something you and I do, and we would put it on the right level and our human side would be 70% of the relationship and 30% would be the work as opposed to 9010 right now. 

Rich Bennett 25:05
Yeah. See any Not just with employees, but you look at this. How many 

CEOs even know their employees? Could you imagine that? Put the CEO there and bringing in one employee at a time? I guarantee that. So if these eyes are going to be wide open. 

Ken Stearns 25:26
If the if the CEO was the one reading the questions for the employee. 

Rich Bennett 25:31
Yeah. 

Ken Stearns 25:32
Oh, my God, that would be so epic. That holy. 

Rich Bennett 25:37
Cow. Wow. Okay. I mean. 

Ken Stearns 25:41
That was just so I. 

Rich Bennett 25:43
Remember the jar because I have a funny feeling within the next couple of years it's going to be the number one podcast over all. I just I think it's a great idea. I love it. I love it. And I'm glad I'm glad I got to talk to you because like I said, I was listening to mental health today, but I never listen to the jaw that what we're done. Guess what I'm going to be doing the rest of the. Well, let me rephrase. I guess what I'm going to be doing when I finish editing, I'm going to be listen to the job. I just I love the idea. It's awesome. It's great. 

Ken Stearns 26:18
Thank you. I'm so blessed. I mean it. You know, podcasting and the people we get to meet and. Oh, yeah, it just is so, so amazing. The people that we have an opportunity to to learn from and to visit with. And God, man, I just look back on some of the guests I've had and, you know, I'm so much I'm such a better person. I'm such a different person. 

Rich Bennett 26:43
Actually, when it comes to your guest, 

two questions for you. But the first one, who is who is one of your most memorable guests that you've had on and why? And then the second one, who is your hardest interview so far and why? 

Ken Stearns 27:05
The hardest? And I guess somehow I end up with like names for both right away. 

I mean, the first one, you know, it's somebody who just kind of keeps popping up in my feed and popping up in my kind of my stories from time to time. And actually, you know, it might have been Baltimore. It's definitely was in Northeast Boston or Baltimore right over there. Tim Logan And Tim is a war veteran. And, you know, his story was just one of those. As you're listening to it and you're sitting across from somebody, you know, there's some there's been a handful of interviews where I just, you know, tears come. I just can't, you know, the emotion of trying to get choked. Yeah. You know, not getting choked up, but also at the same time, just so unbelievable that you can't like you trying to get out of the story in a way like like, is this really a story? Like, how is this possible? And, you know, here's an I'll just turn he had so much pain. This is a gentleman a lot of childhood trauma. I mean, just layers of trauma. Right. And ends up back home, you know, back in real life and just struggling with this, what he would call the pain and his alcoholism journey. And the end of the story is probably, you know, it's a long story. But the but the last part is the part that just, you know, crushed my soul was him finishing his binge. You know, this last binge he had parked his car basically just passed out in a ditch and just waking up and drinking and waking up and drinking till he just just drank the bottle until he passed out. And then we did this for about three days in his car. 

Rich Bennett 28:54
Wow. 

Ken Stearns 28:56
And had the phone off and he had the gun on the dashboard and just couldn't he couldn't bring himself to kill himself, couldn't but just couldn't go home. Couldn't go home. And he turned his phone on. And I forget what is is the reason why. But he just had this compulsion to turn the phone on. He just turned it on. And, you know, the first message was his wife just rang, the phone just rang. And, you know, it's like, where are you? And they geolocated him and his body came and they got him. They found him and brought him home. And he's like, okay, I'm going to go in. I'm going to go in. You know, I got to go in. And so his wife was getting everything ready. They were going to take him to the hospital and the dude snuck downstairs to the basement, 

wrapped the belt around his neck, got up on the bucket, 

and his wife came down 

and, you know, and he said it was like being a kid caught with my pants down. You know, it's like I'm staring at the person I love, Mother, my children, my kids are upstairs. 

And I just wanted the pain to be. And I can say none of that mattered to me. I was just in so much pain and I mean, just both those stories, you know, Just rough, man. 

Rich Bennett 30:17
Yeah. 

Ken Stearns 30:18
Oh, yeah. You know, you you just, you know, the hardest story you could and I've heard even compared to that, even some ones, you know, just as tough. 

And you hear those face to face, rich, You know, they're hard. 

Rich Bennett 30:33
Yeah, they are really hard. 

Ken Stearns 30:34
And, you know, but he's done something with his life. He's turned it around and, you know, he did make it through good, you know, But that's that's how that's how hard those are. I mean, that's how hard, you know, these stories are. And this is real. And so, you know, when you think you've been your story is so terrible and you hear stories like that, you know, there's always somebody whose story worse than yours. Yeah, whatever your story is, someone's gone through it, but also maybe someone's had a different story, maybe not worse in a way, but. But definitely more difficult to listen to, you know, on some of the, you know, the hard, you know, maybe a transition from that one kind of, you know, the hard the hard one to listen to and then the hard one to do. Man, I only had I had one more of a funny one. You know, my book is called Dear God. And it's not religious, but it is spiritual. And you definitely have to have a you know, you've got to you've got to have some spirituality. You got to have, you know, at least a question, Is there a God, not a God? You know, it's doesn't it's not a right. It's not a like I said, not a religious book. It's more of me asking these questions, you know, about life. And, you know, I wrote them. And the concept is to write them as a letter to God, you know, asking God, did I get this right? Isn't this what love is? You know, I kind of go through this kind of, you know, very audacious way of approaching writing letters to God. And under my assumptions, I got everything right at 52. And so the whole I had this one lady friend I'll never forget grabbed it all, and it was just this, you know, cute little house and this nondescript street, you know, And I pulled in and, boy, I met Fran. And, you know, Fran was a hardcore atheist, 

and I didn't know that right away. And sure enough, as the humor of the jar would go, the first four questions were God questions. 

What with the word like literally God in the question, right? Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 32:38
Wow. 

Ken Stearns 32:40
You know, when you're when you're you know, and the first I think she first thing she said was the first God question. She's like, Well, I don't believe in God, so I don't know. And then just puts the car down. It's straight to the next car. And I was like, Oh, that was awkward. Okay. And then it's a God question. And she was like, to me, like, is this a religious show? 

Rich Bennett 33:02
Because oh, yes, she probably thought you set her up and had nothing but God. Questions to the jaw. 

Ken Stearns 33:07
She was coming after me in the second question and the other the worst part of it was, was after I had done a little as I set up and we have a dialogue. The saddest part was was her husband was actually he was the guy I should have been like he was the interesting character. Wow. And he was in the room and walking around. But as we were setting up and talking, I had like instant. I knew I was like, Oh, man, I should have gotten him like, and I should have made him stay in the room and done them together. But, you know. 

Rich Bennett 33:40
She was probably sitting in the back laughing his ass off so that the questions. 

Ken Stearns 33:46
You know, he had the door open and he was just dying. 

Rich Bennett 33:49
And then when you left, she probably went to him. Like she probably said, I'm a believer now. 

Ken Stearns 33:55
Oh, man. I was a believer when, you know, God has got a sense of humor, I'm telling you. Because when the fourth question came, I thought the interview was over, honestly, and 

I really thought it was over. But anyway, that was my toughest. That was one where it was literally 59 minutes and I was like, Well, we got hour and last question. 

Rich Bennett 34:20
Oh, God. Oh, she's beautiful. I have to. Yeah, I can't wait to listen to that one. Now. That is going to be great. Let's start with. 

Ken Stearns 34:31
The first you know, start with the first one just real quick. I mean, start with the first one. Oh, yeah. Because it's so good. It's still a great Pastor Carl, a great fraternity friend of mine who I hadn't seen really or talked to hardly in 35 years except on Facebook. I stayed with him in Olympia, Washington. And he he's a he's a really he's a really religious man. And he wanted his first his recommendation was, I should meet Pastor Carl as my first guest. And I interviewed Pastor Carl in his church and his in his little office. And he was such a great interview. Still to this day. Loved it. His frame. You know, I've interviewed a pastor, another pastor who was trans, who had had surgery. A man could a change to a woman. Yeah. Talk about brave ahead of a church? Yeah, like multiple churches. 

A priest, a Catholic priest who left the church. Who left the church at 50 because he still wanted to have sex. And I. And I interviewed a priest in my grade school who entered the church at 30 something. Wow. I got to tell you, all the theologians, they're great interviews. Yeah, because this is the space that they live in, this space of a framing, a question, building the pier, building the, you know, building the the support structure, putting a roof on it. You know, they just they they paint the questions and the answers so beautifully. Anyway, Patrick Kroll's a great one. Candice Mercer, right after her. She's a very leftist activist in Olympia, Washington. 

Rich Bennett 36:13
Who became conservative, familiar. Yeah, their name says very well. 

Ken Stearns 36:16
Okay, well, she's well, there's Candace Owens, which is a kind of. Oh, yeah, right. A black woman who's an act of a right wing act, not a right yet. Right wing activist, conservative activist. And this lady was a very left very, very left like Antifa, got the whole got all the badge. 

Rich Bennett 36:34
Was the left. Okay. The battle of the can and. 

Ken Stearns 36:37
The the battle that this would be a battle. Well, she this one converted to a long kind of a long kind of funny story. She was she was abandoned by her comrades because she wrote an article about homelessness that that alluded to the fact that drugs were a major part of the problem with homelessness and that that got her in trouble with her with her comrades. Yeah, no, it seems really odd. It just it just didn't make any sense. Anyway, she became a she became a a real lightning rod and that part of the country. And ultimately, was she her she announce a candidacy for city council and that's where the Antifa and the Proud Boys got into a fight and somebody got shot. And it was at her rally. She was a. 

Rich Bennett 37:25
That she's on. Okay. That might be why I heard the name. 

Ken Stearns 37:28
Yeah, it's a shit. Yeah. Her her is famous in that way. Well, anyway, so so many great interviews and it's tough to single out any particular one because I'm. I've loved them all. Honestly. 

Rich Bennett 37:41
That's why I love doing this. And I'm always learning something. Every, every person I've had on. I learn something. Yeah. And I know I'm learning something that my guest or my listeners are, which is, yeah, you're doing this. 

Ken Stearns 37:55
That's it. Share the, you know, get interesting people on and share the platform. 

Rich Bennett 38:00
Yeah. So you mentioned your book Dear God, where, when do you actually I don't want to say when you write it. When was that published. 

Ken Stearns 38:10
Yeah. It's been published now for I think it's been about 18 months or two. Yeah. Eight months. 

Rich Bennett 38:15
Okay. 

Ken Stearns 38:17
You know this is maybe, you know for your audience I'll tell a little side story and it's an interesting one because of of unattended consequences and you know how life works and the you know, how how the universe goes to help you when you when you plant your flag. Mm. And you know, a long so I had, I had this course talking about a corporate career and I had some crazy jobs totally consumed my brain. No room for anything outside of work. You just really high level insanity and all of a sudden boom. And I had I had I got taken away from one job, put another job, and my speed went from, you know, fifth gear red line to second gear low RPMs. I mean, I was just just out of hyperspace into slow mode and I ended up saying, you know, for whatever reason I thought, I want to play guitar, I'm going to give it my third try. I tried when I was ten, I tried when I was 40. I'm up by one more guitar and I'm going to and I'm going to commit to two years of lessons and I'm a buy myself a nice guitar. And I know Rich is looking at me like, okay, you wrote a book, but you bought a guitar. How the heck does this work? So I, I buy this guitar and I'm like, I got a good guitar and two years of lessons. I get back to Thailand, I find myself this teacher. And the second or third lesson, the teacher's mate, my music teacher, my guitar teacher's going, We should write a song. We should write a song. And I said, Well, I can't even play two chords. But sure, you know, let's write a song. I guess I don't. I've never taken guitar lessons for 40 years or 50 years, so I guess that's how it works now. I guess we just write songs. You learn how to play it. So after a few a few weeks of this, I remember that I had while traveling in airplanes. I had started a couple of books. 

Rich Bennett 40:18
Okay. 

Ken Stearns 40:19
First one was Dear Dad letters to my father. He had passed when I was 28 and I would write these letters around my my life, corporate life or Mom, Dear Dad, Mom died. Dear Dad, I got fired. Dear Dad, I got this promotion. Dear Dad, you know, a life things. And you would write out like when you'd want to call your father. I wanted to write a letter 

that somehow, because of my mom's faith, traveling back and forth to see her somewhere along the lines, it became dear God also. So I had two sets of these kind of drafted, scribbled, scribbled notes in a manila folder. And so by the fourth year, I don't know what how many times my guitar teacher said that, I went, Oh my God, you know, I got some words. Let me go pull some words. I have I have some notes. So my name and got my file. We opened up and looked through and I thought, okay, dear God, going to be for sure. Way easier then, Dear Dad, I found the song. I found this chapter I had written on faith. And I thought, okay, Faith, that's like, that's definitely going to be easy to find a song. And sure enough, with a blue highlighter, we went through and highlighted verses from my work, from the drafts and a couple of and a chorus, and over a couple of weekends we structured a song. I got so excited by that. I wrote a song I had no, I couldn't even play guitar. I got so excited. I we pulled out more words and before I knew it, I ran out of words. I mean, I didn't write the book. I only had a few write half a dozen letters. So I started writing the book in earnest to find more songs. But what happened was, as I explained, the construct of the book before about self another the book, you know, the larger and the construct of the book kind of evolved for me over the next couple of years. And as the structure of the book and the meaning and the meaning behind this self and other and all, it kind of came together in the word, you know, and I just filled in the words and it took some time. It's not easy, but I finished the book and somewhere, you know, and I really it's weird, Rich, that my commitment to saying, I'm going to do this with the guitar and not going to quit for two years, I don't care how bad it stinks. I'm going to take the lessons and then I will say I quit and I tried. 

Rich Bennett 42:42
Right and got as strong. 

Ken Stearns 42:44
As I'm as soon as I made that commitment, I mean, and things opened up, right? I met the right guitar teacher. He, he he brought me back to my book and my book gave me the idea for the podcast. I use the book to create the questions. 

Rich Bennett 43:03
In the 44 questions. 

Ken Stearns 43:05
I sat down and I put up each letter. So I put up I had 48 letters basically in this book. Every letter I went in there and tried to extract eight questions. 

Rich Bennett 43:17
And so the great idea. 

Ken Stearns 43:20
So the yeah, because I didn't I mean, I'm an interviewer, you've got a job. And one thing I've noticed about you so far, your questions are awesome. You are well, thankfully a professional like, I mean, honestly you are. I think your listeners should truly appreciate the subtlety of your your skill. I mean, it's you're so subtle at it that you would not notice it unless you're an interviewer like you've been interviewed before. Your questions are awesome. 

Rich Bennett 43:45
Thank you. That means a lot. Seriously. 

Ken Stearns 43:46
Thank you. And and your audience is really lucky that that they get to listen to you and how you peel somebody's back. And, you know, so I knew I didn't have that experience or that skill at that point. And so I wanted to use the questions as a way to get to people, know people and to help them tell their story. 

Rich Bennett 44:05
Well, I love that story. I my biggest question right now is did you learn how to play guitar 

because you wrote these songs and they kind of suck if you wrote them and couldn't even play them. There's a couple I. 

Ken Stearns 44:21
Can't play very well. 

Rich Bennett 44:27
Yeah. 

Ken Stearns 44:27
The fun part was it's really evolved. It's so interesting, you know, the songwriting part, right? I was at the beginning. It was me just stealing words, right? With no rhyme, no rhythm, no idea what the song which out like until, you know. And my teacher looked at me, says, Well, what does it sound like? You know, hum it for me, What do you feel? And I was like, I don't know. You know, 

And it got to the point where he would and he wrote the music great. So I was was words and he would really and then I started to give him the the emotion behind, the song, the words. And so then it was a little more collaboration on the musical part. And then he another technique we did was he would give me chords and right now I'm working with a core and I might play the chords for a year, six months, Yeah. And then all of a sudden the words I'll have the song will come out. And so, yeah, I can, I can play guitar, okay. Not I'm not proficient and I'm never going to be Bruce Springsteen or, you know, make you know, I'm never going to be that guy. 

Rich Bennett 45:28
You know what, kid? But the thing is, you gave me it. You just gave me inspiration because I used to play a long time ago. Actually, the last time I got up on stage and played was in 1986 or 87. Wow. That's the last time when I. I started deejaying. So I was DJ more. I would play. 

Ken Stearns 45:50
So yeah, yeah. 

Rich Bennett 45:51
Yeah. And I put down my bass I picked up a couple of years later, but the arthritis was hard. It was hard to play the bass and years ago, a long time ago, 

because my son plays guitar, I always say my myself, Stevie Ray Vaughan reincarnate. He's a good man and I wanted to start playing bass again. So my kids got me a bass guitar for my birthday and Father's Day one year and never picked it up. It's still sitting upstairs. My daughter wants to play. So for Christmas I because I never had the amp. So I got her base amp and taught us to hear that you can start playing because you want to play bass, watch YouTube or whatever. But now you know, when you told me how you're I think I am going to pick it up. I of course I'm going to take a refresher course because it's been a long time and start playing again. And another thing I'm doing, I started last month to write my first book. Oh, wow. So knock on wood. Well, you know what? I'm just going to take my I don't want to rush it. I want to take it. Yeah. Hey, both you and I have books ready to go. Well, I want to see where you go because of all the different interviews we've done, we've heard the stories. And yeah, there are there are a lot of people that do not listen to podcast, but if you put it down in written form, that can make a difference to Absolutely. 

Ken Stearns 47:23
Absolutely. If I you know, I think everybody wants to consume I think in different ways, right? Yeah. And I think some people come for part, maybe they just listen to your show because they know you, but they might be prolific readers. 

Rich Bennett 47:37
You know, there's a podcast. It's changed. I mean, it's I want to say it's changed the world, even though they've been around forever. Yeah. And then once COVID hit, then everybody started getting into it. Then a lot of people realize it's a lot of hard work and got out of it. It's like, I mean, when I rebranded, it went basically got out of the county, went worldwide. As I told you earlier, just getting those messages out and people thanking me, man. It's it's amazing. It's amazing. It's something you mentioned earlier. And I want to ask you this compassion, acceptance and forgiveness, what does that mean to you? 

Ken Stearns 48:26
Yeah, I this is a funny part is I have no idea where those words there is a mute. You know, you're going to you're going to see. So you are I mean, you and I, there's going to be a lot in common on this journey for you, for your writing. You will discover, especially as you become your intentionality. Is that right? As you start to really sit down and you're intentional about it and you have a good reason to do it and you're the intentions are pure and good and everything, you'll have a muse, 

and the muse is a real thing. I mean, I didn't understand fully appreciate it until I looked back at the 400 questions I wrote, right? I don't I mean, people pull questions out of the jar today and I'm like, I have no idea when I wrote that, I don't remember writing that at all. Not my words. 

Rich Bennett 49:20
Yeah. 

Ken Stearns 49:21
And even the book. Not some of it. Not, not mine. 100%. And especially around the construction of it, you know, acceptance, you know, acceptance, forgiveness and compassion. And I put them in those orders because really, you know, I don't have to in a lot of this came around from approval and acceptance that that that difference. Right the differentiation and I can accept anybody and I can understand an especially the more I understand them and how they believe what they believe or do what they do and how they got to where they were. The more I know about you, the more I can fully accept who you are and how you got to the place you're at. Right. I may not agree with your conclusions or I may not agree you know what you're doing or who you are or what you believe in. But I can accept you. I mean, like, you know, I can accept it. Yeah, I may be one. I may be vehemently against even, you know, I mean, I mean, I mean, I understand how you're in that position, but. But I may be completely against who you are and what you do, but I can accept it and understand it. And I wanted to get to that place where we can. Why can't we go around with other humans, especially as I know you as a person, I can accept who you are and everything and but again, I don't have to to, to to agree. And but we can still be very we can still be very cordial. We can be human to each other. Yeah. It's a weird thing. And I think in today, that's a tough thing for people to get their head around. 

Rich Bennett 50:53
Yes, it is. 

Ken Stearns 50:55
Right. And and forgive this to me was I kind of have this really goofy analogy that I was playing around with. I went down some rabbit holes when I was writing the book or putting the book together, not writing it, but actually putting it together. You know, that research kind of a research phase and what do I include? What I don't include? And I played around a lot with with Newton's laws on this one. And it's kind of strange. But to me, to me, forgiveness was if you look at, you know, this this idea of if you're going through life, it takes a lot of effort to get up in the morning to to move and to move forward and to be to achieve things and not just living every day, but to actually achieve something and to build on life. It takes energy. And if you're carrying around this backpack and every time somebody offends you or hurt you or, you know, something happens you disagree with, if you throw a little, you know, a little stone in there, you know, of anger and hate and, you know, you know, it's heavier and heavier. And, you know, Newton's law says, you know, to move an object, if it's a heavy object, it takes more energy. 

Rich Bennett 52:04
Yeah. 

Ken Stearns 52:05
And, you know, some people in life have a very large backpack and they've collected a lot of stones and they can tell you they've lost every stone. You know, this person on this day did this, and I'll never forgive that. 

And I thought, you know, if you cut that, that if you if you drag, it's like a vision and you're dragging this backpack behind you on a rope, the amount of energy to go through life is X. If you suddenly snipped it, 

you would be zooming through life with the same level of energy that you had with all that other weight you're carrying around forgiveness. You know, from a scientific standpoint, forgiveness is like a dumbest thing you'd ever do, right? Why would you it why would you carry around a £30 backpack? Right. You'd let it go. You'd let it go if you didn't have to. It was filled with stupid stuff. You drop it. So carry what you need. Don't carry the things you don't need. And so that was that. 

Rich Bennett 53:02
Yeah. And that was my way. Yeah, that's. 

Ken Stearns 53:05
Yeah, that was my forgiveness thing, you know, like and then you don't have to worry about, you know what? I'm forgiving. It's just like, logical. How would you carry that around and carry around a bag of water and a Snickers bar? That's what you need. You know, not. Not, not stone, not carefully. Logs, stones of of are things people have done to you. And and and the last one is compassion. And I think this really came to me you know, a lot of the fake compassion. I wanted to articulate my views on real. And what I thought was real compassion was which is action and, you know, heart, you know, like, you know, emojis of, you know, hearts. And, you know, I love you know, we're like, you know, blessings and thoughts. You know, that's that's that that's virtue signaling. That's not compassion. Compassion is action. You know, doing something for somebody not, you know, or being there for them. I think you can have some compassion saying some things, but it's still almost not compassionate because it's still not action. And I think in that I can't remember the whole four parts each each part, each each piece has got four parts. And so Compassion has got a bit of it'll have four parts. And one of them is certainly, you know, I've had traveling in India is some stuff that'll leave you scarred. I'm still a little PTSD, honestly, of the images. Yeah. Some of the images in India are, you know, from a humanity standpoint, are difficult to process as a human. Yeah. To see some of the you know, to see the poverty and stuff in the things like, you know, babies being held on street corners for money that are not really that's not really that woman's baby. 

You know, just some of the things that I'd seen. Humanity and India is a beautiful place but it's also it's you know, it's a dichotomy of a place. It's beautiful and it's the suffering is is tremendous. Yeah. And so for me, compassion, I had a very different sense of what compassion was when I when I had this this of polarized view of what it would be for me. So that and and I and somehow I place that as the second part of the book. Right. There's the self you know which is all that stuff that yesterday's today's tomorrow's think about and then this this part about relationships with another individual human. And I really felt that you know accepting everybody and the humans we see, you know, not carrying around anger, forgiving people and and ultimately having, you know, compassion for for what people are going through. 

Rich Bennett 55:44
Yeah. Wow. The 

MM I'm still the analogy of forgiveness of the backpack. I love that. I Yeah. Thanks Love that. 

Ken Stearns 55:56
That ice. 

Rich Bennett 56:00
I think I know what I'm going to get my face a lot of people for Christmas this year a backpack with a hole in it so the stones will just fall right out. 

Ken Stearns 56:11
Yeah. It's okay to Hey, you know, sometimes it might be okay to log that stone, you know? Yeah, it's okay to log it. 

Rich Bennett 56:17
It'll be a little one should. Yeah. So. Yeah. 

Ken Stearns 56:20
Yeah. Oh. 

Rich Bennett 56:23
Yeah, yeah. The big one will blow there, but it will eventually make that hole bigger from the weight to where. 

Ken Stearns 56:31
The big ones are holding on to them. It's. Those are too good. 

Rich Bennett 56:34
Hey, actually, with the jar, because I still love this the way you do this. Do do the questions. Go back into the jar. 

Ken Stearns 56:45
At the end of the show. Right. So yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. So before each, you know, I have a I have this, I have a big van, I travel around this giant van. It's got all my gear in it. I've got, I commissioned four jars so I have four jars. Hand-Blown for this. For this. I'm a gentleman that I a glassblower I knew and so I have this, you know, I have a each one's got its own little black box, you know, and so I, and I got a wheelie cart. And so when we set up in the whatever location and I and I got my microphones out, I have it's field recording too, so I'm recording in the field, right. So I get my gear up and I have the jar and I dump all the questions into the basket, into its, into, its into, it's kind of a box and shuffle them up and I stuff about 400 back the jar and you know, and people just love it because they're looking at this it's an impressive I got to say the jars are a work of art they're absolutely gorgeous and the questions are, you know, nice big plastic size playing cards, thick, really substantial is kind of this texture. And so when people pull it out, you know, you're holding a real thick card. Yeah, one side's one side's got the logo and the other side is this big black and white question staring at you. And, you know, it's it's really fun for me, too, because always I call it like instant regret. It's fun for me because I'm on the other side. Right. And I and I've done this a few hundred times, so but when? So we have a little chit chat to get to know the person. Right. And and then, you know, then I invite them into the jar, pull the first question and you know, they go in and they're all excited. You know, they're they're feeling around for the try to feel a question. Right. And and you pull it out and and I'm looking I'm opposite them, right. And I'm looking at their eyes and they're looking at the question and I just see this. And sometimes it's this audible gasp like. 

Rich Bennett 58:46
Oh. 

Ken Stearns 58:52
And yesterday was a good one, too, because about the fourth question, I mean, they were like hard questions, rich, like really deep, like this is intellectual stuff. You have to really go to the corners of your brain and you're asking people stuff like everything in the magic of the jar. Everything in there is stuff you think about. There's nothing in there. You've you've go, Oh, I've never thought of that. 

Rich Bennett 59:15
Right? No. 

Ken Stearns 59:17
But you very rarely ever articulate it. So it's, it's things in your head that you never actually express in a in a cohesive, articulate manner. So people are like going into the closet, you know, the third bedroom closet of their brain. Right? They're going to grab a sack from that closet. They got to run down to the basement, get a shirt. You know, they tried to put this they're trying to try to put all these parts together to express what they what what acceptance means to them on that question. And so it's really it's I call it instant regret. And that's you know, it's like when they see the first question, they're like, oh my God, it's an hour of this. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:00
Well, it's good because it makes them think too. That's all idea. 

Ken Stearns 1:00:06
You know, yesterday we finished and that. My guest looked at me and she was just like, wow. Like when it was all over, She's like, wow. She's like, That's a lot to process. She was that was like, intense therapy session. Oh, it's what a lot of people a lot of people equate it to is is it like a therapy session? 

Rich Bennett 1:00:26
Do you had to jar close to you or is it actually in the van? 

Ken Stearns 1:00:30
Yeah, it's in the van. I mean, it's such a bummer. I wish I. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:32
Day because I was going to have you pull a question out and ask yourself, Oh, well, hold. 

Ken Stearns 1:00:37
On. I got some questions. Hold on, 

hold on, I got some. So you're like this. The audience can't see it. But but I you know, we talk about intentionality. And one of the things that I did was I created a business card that you can rich can kind of sort of see it. I don't know if that's. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:56
A little blurry. Yeah, it's. 

Ken Stearns 1:00:57
A little blurry. But you can see it's you know, it's a business card with a little picture of the jar and everything. And it's got the QR code and and I use this to introduce myself. But the clever part about this is on this side is a question. Oh, so on one side is my business information. And then on the other side is the big name the jar. And then a question and I carry with these with me everywhere I go. And these are not the quest, these are not the actual cards that are in the jar, right? Business cards. And the fun part is every business card has a unique question from the jar. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:34
Oh, so they're different questions on each business card. 

Ken Stearns 1:01:37
Each business card is unique. 

While So how much fun is it? So I get to every time I get in an elevator, I'm at a restaurant, a bar. I was like, I just opened these up and I phantom out. I just go, How about a question of the day? Would you like a question of the Day? So let's do it. Rich, let's do a question. Say you want me to go first or you go in first? 

Rich Bennett 1:02:00
Yeah, I can't read them, so go ahead. If it's blurry. Sure. 

Ken Stearns 1:02:05
Yeah, I'll. I'll put one. I'll pull one for you. Let me find it. Let me find a good one for you. 

This is one from yesterday. Okay, Here's one that's really fun. This is a this is a good example, I think, of the kind of twisted brain I have when I wrote these questions. 

I for sure have. I mean, my writing style. I can I can say without being egotistical in a way it's unique and it's a little it's a little a little unnerving in a way. What's a hopeful mind without a hopeful heart? 

Rich Bennett 1:02:50
Who? 

Ken Stearns 1:02:52
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:53
Ooh, What's a hopeful mind? 

Ken Stearns 1:02:55
Mind without a hopeful heart? Hi. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:01
I don't. I don't know. I don't know if you can actually have 

a hopeful mind without a hopeful heart. 

Ken Stearns 1:03:10
Without a hopeful. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:10
Because to me. Yeah, because you're. I mean, you always, you have to have a heart. Yes. And I don't. I don't mean that, you know, physically, I mean, but if you have to be in the right mindset to feel good about yourself, you have to have heart. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's what I believe. Ma'am, Love is a deep asked question. 

Ken Stearns 1:03:41
Wow. You and to watch people go through the process of the logic. Right. Of of connecting like well what what if my mind's hopeful? What if my heart's so, you know, and it it does. It's such I mean, for me I have I'm so lucky because these are such like. That's a powerful question and it's Yeah. And it will really make you think. 

And of course there's, you know, about a hundred as questions. I would put about 100 of the questions in this level of 

intensity. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:13
Right. 

Ken Stearns 1:04:14
And you know, there's another 100 that are right behind it and we've got 200 that are pretty slam dunk ish. I had a question. I had taken a break, which for about two and a half months in Atlanta, and that was a little PTSD after the whole, you know, corporate life. I mean, I went straight from corporate life into this madness. I mean, I was still kind of processing my holes, you know, last year. And I took a break 

and 

I started didn't where I was going to go with that story thing now. But it's all hopeful. So, yeah, So I was coming back and I had my first interview and I was really worried that I would have lost it. I lost the edge, I lost the desire there is this now boring, you know, Is this really what I want to do? I just was had some just some self questions. Am I going to still have the passion? Is it still something that's like I wake up and I'm like, so excited that I'm doing this? And I was a little bit nervous, like, and I had this guest. I mean, man, the universe just sought you out fast. Yeah, Most gas, we go through about 20 something questions, about 20 questions and a little bit more. Now that I've shortened up the introduction, this guy, my first guest back we did six. 

His first question was, What's the color of your heart? 

And he stepped back. He's very obviously pretty intellectual. And he said, Well, let's talk color. And he went on a 20 minute discussion about what color meant to him. 

Wow. And I was like, I am so back. I love this job. I like, where are you going to meet? Like, what's the color? Your heart is red. I don't know. Usually like like a lot of people just come up with a simple answer and that's it. I'm done. Yeah, man. No, no. We're going to talk about color. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:21
I love that. That's one of the things I've always. Yeah, because when you see color, a lot of people think race right away. And one of the things I've always said, forget about the outside. What's the color of their heart? What's the color of somebody's spring? What's the color of the blood? Everybody's the same inside the outsides. Just nothing. 

Ken Stearns 1:06:44
Excuse the people See the outside, the outside color. We can see rich, right? It's right. It's the inside. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:50
Color. Inside we're all the same. 

Ken Stearns 1:06:53
Well, maybe. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:55
Maybe I know I own that well, or. Or in an alien might have green blood. 

Ken Stearns 1:07:00
Yeah, I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean literally. I mean, literally. We're all the same color, but I mean. But figuratively. Yeah. You know, some of us. Some of us have beautifully bright red blood, and some of us have some dark blood. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:16
That one. Yeah. Some of our. 

Ken Stearns 1:07:18
Some of our blood is thick and some of it's kind of watery, you know, on the inside, we're all a little different. It's the outside part, which is a to get you truth. That's the part that gets us triggered. That's the part you can see, man. Don't play with the stuff. You can see it's the stuff you can that'll get you in trouble. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:33
Don't eat as much garlic and the blood won't be as watery. 

Although I got to have my garlic couple ask questions for, you know, fine number one. First of all, tell everybody the websites, the podcast, the books, how they get them and so forth, how they can. Yeah, I can do all of it. 

Ken Stearns 1:07:54
Yeah. Really the easiest place is just go to our is go to the char dot live and that's my main site and you can find everything from there. It's just w WW dot the jar dot live and it's all right there. 

Rich Bennett 1:08:08
Now another quote because we talked about everything that we've learned from all of our guest. Yeah we learn something new from them but since you've been doing this and you may be actually you made me think of this, what's the biggest thing you've learned about yourself? Mm from doing this? 

Ken Stearns 1:08:32
It's a great question. I take some reflection, right? What have I learned about myself? 

It's I've spent I spent a long time working for other people, building for other people, doing corporate stuff, for corporate 

giving, for other people. Right. In a in a role where I once had an executive, I worked with local guy, Indonesia, Indonesia, and one of the most amazing people I'd ever met, built an organization. He's one of a handful of people in the world who has built anything close to this kind of distribution system and and sales system. An amazing guy. 

And he and I were very similar in a lot of ways, real simpatico. And we were driving around one day and he looked at me and he said, you know, Cam, this is you know, we had finished an event somewhere. And, you know, it's it's it's rough, right? You give a lot and you're finishing this event and you're in the car and it's post-event and there's a lot you've done these week. You you talk about being a deejay and playing in a band and it's just you and your thoughts now. Yeah, the audience is gone, you know, the quiets there and it's just you and me and this guy, he looks at me, said, Ken, who fills your cup? 

Rich Bennett 1:09:56
Oh. 

Ken Stearns 1:09:58
And he and he said it from a way of I felt that he didn't know who filled his cup and he looked, you know, filling out his cup like he just pours from his own cup into other people's cups. Right. And I knew what he meant immediately. Meaning we just fill other people's cups. We could do that all day, every day. That was our job in a way. And it was a it was a thing of not desperation, but just a I don't I don't know quite how to describe, you know, just that. Who fills your cart, man? Tell me, how do you do that? And, you know, I think the thing that I learned on this journey is that there are people out there to fill my cup. And and I found a few of them just recently, like, I just the other day looked at somebody and went, Man, you I put my hands together and put in a prayer thing and said, Thank you for filling my cup. I you fill my cup today like I got in the van and I felt like, wow, I met somebody that filled my cup and and I realized that I had missed that. And so this for me, it's a realization just recently, which I haven't I haven't nurtured those relationships. I haven't searched those out. I haven't been. 

Rich Bennett 1:11:22
Right. 

Ken Stearns 1:11:24
Accepting that in some ways, holding my cup out and receiving 

from else because I've spent so much time in the position of filling other people's cups and I've learned that I need my cup filled to. Yeah and there are people that will do it for me and I have to nurture that part of myself 

to 

them. 

Rich Bennett 1:11:55
You know what? I love this because we have been having some great questions here. It's a lot of thought that goes into this thing. Yeah, my last question is going to be, Oh my God, this is going to be hard. Well, first of all, you're going to have to come back on the show again, because I know there's I know there's a lot more we could talk about. 

Ken Stearns 1:12:16
Oh, yeah. There's a reason this corporate stuff we get. 

Rich Bennett 1:12:19
Oh, you hit on that a lot. But one of the things I always love to ask my guest and you've been on several interviews and of course you've interviewed even more, but what is one of the questions or a question that a host has never asked you that you wish they would have asked you? And if so, what would be that question? And what would be your answer? 

Ken Stearns 1:12:49
Yeah, what would be the question that I wish a guest would ask or host would ask me? 

I get asked, What's next? 

Rich Bennett 1:12:59
Know what's next. Another book? Yeah. I had a jar in India. 

Ken Stearns 1:13:06
Well, yeah. And you hit on those but you ask those things, you got that out in a way without asking that, that easy question. Like I said, your questions are so good. Like this question like this one is another stumper, right. I would what do I wish people Yeah, I, I guess what I'm trying to say, what I'm struggling with is what do I want to know myself about myself? And that's where you're going with it, right? Is it? What do I want to know about? 

Rich Bennett 1:13:35
And it's 

or it could be like, is there something that you want the listeners to know that it's up to you? I leave. I always ask this. I leave it for my guest. Yeah. Tell my listeners something that they may not know about. You, maybe not about you, but that you would like to, I don't know, instill on the listeners. 

Ken Stearns 1:14:02
Yeah, I think, you know, I came back with this one just kind of came into my mind, you know, which is what are you afraid of? 

Rich Bennett 1:14:09
Mm. You know what? Nobody's ever nobody's ever said that. Nobody's ever asked themselves that out of all the people I've had on. 

Ken Stearns 1:14:21
And yet and I'm in a you know I'm in a lot of I've always had that corporate thing. I've always been driven by the corporate. And that was always very easy to for me to get behind that mantra and design, you know, my own life around that, that thing. And I've planted my flag and I'm doing my thing. But there are, you know, back to that question, what's next, Ken? What's next? What happens after this? And, you know, of course I might. For me, the easy part is there's a lot it's unknown in the past. And that will come. I will know what I'm supposed to do when it when I'm in. That's when I'm in a place where I need to make the choice. Right now, I'm on my journey. I don't I don't need to choose or think about it, and it'll happen. But at the same time, that's easy to say and easy to stay it and dismiss it. 

But it's still an unknown. And you know, what am I afraid of? You know, I am afraid. I'm afraid of not finishing that. You know, finishing this was my biggest fear. 

Um, you know, running out of funding, not being here. This is not cheap. And I'm. And I'm. And I'm in it. This is my investment in myself and my belief in my own and building for myself. And what if I don't? I mean, what if it really doesn't turn out well and, you know, I'm afraid of I'm afraid of, say, not being successful because I think I'm already successful. Mm. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm on that road to doing something. I'm in pursuit of a worthy goal and I'm making progress in pursuit of something I think is worthy, but still, there's there's things that can happen and things that, you know, I could end up back in the corporate job. I could end up back working for somebody. I, you know, I may have a setback. So my biggest fear is not being able to do the beautiful things that should come from this easily. I feel go to India, somebody to call me and say, let's do the tour in India. I'm going to finance it. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to touch millions of people and we're going to go make this happen, because that's great idea. And that should happen. 

Rich Bennett 1:16:41
It will happen. 

Ken Stearns 1:16:43
And it will happen. And these are so my fear is the difference is, is where am I going to fall in the difference of greatness and to just live it and living out this thing as a grind and somewhere between being and not being greatness for me, but being great, touching people and having this thing be a changing, you know, like a momentum where it can change lives and touch people because we can bring people together around What does acceptance mean? We can learn how to manage our thoughts in our head. We can be better humans, you know, out in the universe. We go out. I mean, if everybody just had a loving heart for half their day when they went out in humanity, man, we'd have such a different, you know, it'd be such different place. Yeah. So, you know, it's I think it's my fear of falling short somewhere between what I hope and what happens. And in hoping that I that that turns out to be joyful for me and beyond my expectations. 

Rich Bennett 1:17:44
Well, I can honestly tell you this. You've already a difference in my life, and I know you've made differences in other people's lives from what you're doing. And I think your journey's just begun. In all honesty, even though you have spoken to several people, you have helped several people with all the changes that have come along 

and you talking about mental health and, you know, being an advocate for it, you've made a big difference already. Thank you. You said it's just beginning because your focus has been here in the States so far. Now we're going to get worldwide, India's next, England's next. You know, they're from there. Who knows? Australia top back to Thailand or something? You never know. Yeah. Yeah. Canada. Yeah. It's it's going to keep going. It is going to keep going. So but again, I want to thank you so much. It's been a true honor and a pleasure to have you on. Best of luck. You get everybody number one when you buy when you buy Ken's book Dear guy which I it's it's on Amazon right or. Yeah it was on it for you Yeah. Okay Yeah. After you read it, make sure you leave a full review because definitely helps out. And when you go to the podcast to your and mental health today, leave a review about it And the one thing I do know, like if you go to good parts, you can leave a review about each episode, not just the podcast in general. You leave reviews about each episode and oh, it's great. If you haven't been on good, page it, check it out. Because it's it's like social media and a podcast app combined so people could actually communicate for each episode. 

Ken Stearns 1:19:44
I love that. So I follow them on Twitter. I'm going to get I'm going to get into the app. 

Rich Bennett 1:19:48
Good page dot com. It's on. Yeah, yeah. It's great. So Ken again, thank you so much. And yeah, we're definitely going to have to do it again. 

Ken Stearns 1:19:56
I love it. Rich, Thanks. Thanks for having me on. I really it's such great questions. I'm man blown away. 

Rich Bennett 1:20:03
Oh, thank you. And if you ever make it back out this way, hit me. I want to it to the jaw. 

Ken Stearns 1:20:10
Yeah. And I want to get you. I want to get you a Shabazz, my Daewoo. Daewoo, Shabazz My friend from Baltimore. Okay. I would like you over there. Maybe you got them on the show, but you could talk about beer making if you know. 

Rich Bennett 1:20:25
Oh, without a doubt. With this out. 

Ken Stearns 1:20:29
He's such a cool character and it'd be fun to have a get one of my guests on your show. That would be so cool. 

Rich Bennett 1:20:34
Works for me. And I'm sure you've probably had people on your show already that have been on mine, but we'll save that for the next one. 

Ken Stearns 1:20:42
Thanks. Thanks again. 

Rich Bennett 1:20:44
All right. Thank you.