How Bob Wischer Helps Men Reclaim Purpose and Power

Rich & Wendy 0:00
Hey, everyone is Rich Bennett. Can you believe it? The show is turning ten this year. I am so grateful for each and every one of you who've tuned in, shared an episode, or even joined the conversation over the years. You're the reason that this podcast has grown into what it is today. Together, we shared laughs, tears and moments that truly matter. So I want to thank you for being part of this journey. Let's make the next ten years even better. Coming to you from the Freedom Federal Credit Union Studios. Harford County Living presents conversations with Rich Bennett. 

Today, I'm going to get kind. 

No, no, no. The truth is. 

Rich Bennett 1:02
Today, I'm honored to welcome Bob Wisher to conversations with Ridge Bennett. Bob is a visionary leader, life strategist and personal development coach dedicated to helping men break free from the status quo and step into a life of purpose, connection and fulfillment. As the founder of Men Becoming Better Men, Bob has worked with over 100 men to reclaim their sense of self, strengthen their relationships, and build a foundation for lasting success. His mission is clear. God, I feel like I'm back in the Marine Corps. Here it is. No man. 

Bob Wischer 1:36
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:36
Forgotten. No brother left behind. I love it. Prior military. 

Bob Wischer 1:42
No, actually, not at all. 

Rich Bennett 1:43
Really? 

Bob Wischer 1:44
Really? 

Rich Bennett 1:45
Oh, you just stole that from us. No, I'm joking. 

So how's it go about? 

Bob Wischer 1:51
Great. Going. Great. 

Rich Bennett 1:52
Good 

Bob Wischer 1:53
And. 

Rich Bennett 1:53
show. Oh, my pleasure. I just want to get right into the men becoming better men. What was it that you why would you decide to start this? And I want to say a movement, more or less. 

Bob Wischer 2:08
I wish it was a bigger movement, 

Rich Bennett 2:10
Well, yeah. 

Bob Wischer 2:11
though. Obviously, it's been it's been pretty local so far. Okay. What got me into it was I was honestly, I came out of a divorce back 

Rich Bennett 2:22
Mm hmm. 

Bob Wischer 2:22
in 2014. 

Throughout that almost 20 year marriage. I lost a lot of friends that, you know, people that I had gone to high school with, college with, whatever. 

Rich Bennett 2:35
Damn. 

Bob Wischer 2:36
Under the under the means of making her happy. Right. Played that play that game. The nice guy, you know type of thing let go a lot of those relationships. So then of course we had our our our married family relationships. Right. And of course with the divorce, you, you, you, you not only separate your your finances and your children and you separate 

Rich Bennett 2:57
Right. 

Bob Wischer 2:57
your. While most of those friends were her friends. So here I am, 

divorced. My kids were going off to college and or she was she was she was actively trying to separate us from having a relationship at all. Which is a whole nother level of my story, but. So I'm basically alone. Right. 

Rich Bennett 3:21
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 3:24
And I just I actually I started working with a coach, and one of the first things I learned in that process, I was about 45 at the time. That I hadn't been learning anything for decades. Now I graduated from college and I felt like, Oh, cool, I know what all don't need to worry about anything else. I'm just going to cruise on through as 

Rich Bennett 3:48
Right. 

Bob Wischer 3:48
my. And little did I know what I didn't know. And a lot of that was. What I what I've dove into heavily over the last ten years is the personal development space. 

Rich Bennett 3:59
Mm hmm. 

Bob Wischer 3:59
And so I started reading. First book I read was Nowhere. Mr. Nice Guy, Dr. Glover 

Rich Bennett 4:04
Mm. 

Bob Wischer 4:07
Bloom blew my mind open. My eyes blew my mind like. Yeah, this is exactly what I've been doing for the past 20 years. Being a nice guy, 

Rich Bennett 4:17
Right? 

Bob Wischer 4:17
doing everything that she wanted to do. Bending over backwards, trying to be, you know, a provider and everything. And all it was doing was making me crazy. 

Rich Bennett 4:28
Mm 

Bob Wischer 4:28
I 

Rich Bennett 4:28
hmm. 

Bob Wischer 4:29
ended up on antidepressants and all kinds of stuff. And so first so I read that book that I read a book called The Truth About Man by Davon Franklin. 

Rich Bennett 4:41
Okay. 

Bob Wischer 4:41
And one of the passages in that book, and I can remember it because I was walking down the street here in front of my house, it hit me like a ton of bricks, is that men need to be in community with other men. 

Rich Bennett 4:54
Absolutely. 

Bob Wischer 4:55
And I'm and I'm standing there alone, walking down the street, trying to lose weight, trying to be healthy on my own. Right. Because I was you know, my health was not great at the time either. And I think, okay, thanks for nobody. I'm 45 years old. Nobody told me this. 

Rich Bennett 5:10
Right. 

Bob Wischer 5:11
I'm doing it. I've been doing it alone for, you know, I. I had a few friends in high school and I wasn't, like, super popular or anything, but I had a few friends and I had some friends, a few friends in college. And I always had small type kind of type groups of guys. But again, through that marriage and and beyond, I was I had let them all go. I had, you know, her her friends and their husband was me and the husbands kind of thing. 

Rich Bennett 5:38
Right. 

Bob Wischer 5:38
And it was there were never tighter relationships. And I was there also. And so it hit me like a ton of bricks. And that's and that's where I my my regret going back to your earlier question, is I don't have a military background. I don't I didn't learn that brotherhood that you guys get to learn and experience when you're going through the military. 

Rich Bennett 5:59
Right. 

Bob Wischer 6:00
I. I desperately was missing it. 

Rich Bennett 6:03
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 6:04
And so I created it. And that's where men becoming better men came to be. We started up. It was actually we were going to we started as a meet up and it was it was going to basically we were going to review the book, The Truth about Men, who we were going to go chapter by chapter. And I was going 

Rich Bennett 6:21
Like 

Bob Wischer 6:21
to. 

Rich Bennett 6:21
a book club. 

Bob Wischer 6:22
Yeah, like a book 

Rich Bennett 6:22
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 6:22
club kind of thing. And then, honestly, by the grace of God, a gentleman showed up in our mile. He didn't come to the first meeting, but he came to the he we were messaging between the first and second meetings and he said, I've been part of men's groups Southeast for the past 20 years. I have a bunch of information and things that I can share with you and that what that's what morphed. For men becoming better men to become what it was, was, you know, a very strict we had a very strict agenda. We've covered very specific things throughout the course of thing. And the main piece of that law to make pieces, one was what we call our standards. Things like be on time, 

don't make things up. 

Rich Bennett 7:06
Right. 

Bob Wischer 7:07
Those type of things that you guys probably get drilled into in the military, 

which are 

Rich Bennett 7:11
It's important stuff because 

Bob Wischer 7:13
important 

Rich Bennett 7:13
it just 

Bob Wischer 7:13
stuff. 

Rich Bennett 7:13
makes you a better person. 

Bob Wischer 7:14
Absolutely. 

Rich Bennett 7:15
Right. 

Bob Wischer 7:15
But but again, I didn't have that. I mean, I had I had I had a my my dad was great. He teach he taught me to work hard. He you know, he taught me about change, spark plugs and oil changes and tires and work on cars and and cut the grass and moved piles of logs and cut down trees. My dad taught me a lot of practical stuff, but not that stuff. 

Rich Bennett 7:35
Right. 

Bob Wischer 7:36
So. So I feel very blessed in that I learned a lot of how to do things the right way, but I didn't know how to be. 

Rich Bennett 7:43
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 7:45
So that so so he brought me that. And then he also brought this the other part of the big part, the meeting. So as we spend time, it's what we the group ended up growing to be. We had like 25 or 30 guys showing up every other. 

Rich Bennett 7:59
Wow. 

Bob Wischer 8:01
And so we had to we had to manage it. We couldn't get how you can have a deep conversation with 20 guys. 

Rich Bennett 8:07
Right. 

Bob Wischer 8:07
So we had to break it into smaller and we would break it into smaller groups of five or six, four or five, six guys. And we basically it was a get it off your chest type of session. And we'd talk about, you know, you would get you get five or 10 minutes of an hour to talk about whatever you want to talk about. If you're having an issue with your spouse or at work or whatever, whatever it was, you could the word vomit all over. 

Rich Bennett 8:32
So these are men that are going through divorce. They're just. 

Bob Wischer 8:35
Not necessarily, no. 

Rich Bennett 8:36
Okay. 

Bob Wischer 8:37
Their merry, merry guys are too, that we're 

Rich Bennett 8:40
Right. 

Bob Wischer 8:40
going in. Going through relationship issues, though, I mean, a lot I'd say it was probably more than 50% were guys coming outdoors because a lot of them were like me where they were. You know, you go basically you go to meet up groups if you're looking for connection right here. 

Rich Bennett 8:54
Right. 

Bob Wischer 8:56
So that was that was deal there. Yeah. And up we had and actually the group is still going on and I've stepped away from it actually just recently it. 

Rich Bennett 9:07
Buzzard, if you don't mind me asking. 

Bob Wischer 9:09
Yeah, kind of. 

It actually got to be too much for me to take. 

Rich Bennett 9:14
Right. 

Bob Wischer 9:15
Listening to these men that would come and and get they were getting things off their chest. 

Rich Bennett 9:23
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 9:23
And it was good therapeutically for them. 

Rich Bennett 9:26
But not for you. 

Bob Wischer 9:27
But it was hard for me because they were growing. They were they were getting the same things off their chest, week after week, month after month, year after year. And I want to be I want to be the type of person that's helping somebody. 

Rich Bennett 9:39
Mm hmm. 

Bob Wischer 9:40
Grow and come up. And I was trying to subtly do that. But they weren't. They weren't following. 

Rich Bennett 9:47
Right. 

Bob Wischer 9:47
So I've stepped away from that. I'm working on right now kind of doing doing something a little different. I'm still doing it under men, becoming better men. But that group does still exist. And I continue to support them and hopefully they thrive and and they get out of it what they need, because it was very effective for what it was. 

Rich Bennett 10:06
Right. 

Bob Wischer 10:07
I just want to take I want to take it to a different level for for me and that what I'm trying to do going forward as is becoming a full time transitioning eventually to a full time coach. I have a I have a full time job, but I ultimately want to retire from that job and be a coach full time in my in my retirement years. 

Rich Bennett 10:26
Right. 

Bob Wischer 10:28
So. So that's the that's the gist of that. 

Rich Bennett 10:31
So so what's the new when you're that you're working on. 

Bob Wischer 10:34
Right now I'm I'm hosting and it's it's only a few weeks old. Has it gotten a lot of traction yet? But I. Have you ever heard of F3? 

Rich Bennett 10:43
Of three wives I send for. 

Bob Wischer 10:44
Three stands for Fitness, Fellowship and Faith. That's an. 

Rich Bennett 10:47
Okay. Yes, 

Bob Wischer 10:48
It is a national national organization. They have been they've been around. I don't know how long they've been around, but it's it's it's a free workout for men. And you show up your workout through the course of that. Obviously, as you know from military background, you work, you work out and get sweaty with a bunch of a bunch of men, you're going to grow in fellowship, right? 

Rich Bennett 11:06
right. 

Bob Wischer 11:07
That's the second half. And then Faith A is a component of it, too, where they just they want you to they, they hope that you have belief in a higher power. Whenever that is. And they what they say is that at the the workouts end of the circle of trust. So again, that's that same component that I had in my meetings where you kind of if you need to get something off your chest, you need some brothers to come around here, You have an issue that you need to talk to other men about it, that that so therefore you so I've been doing I've been doing that. But that's not it's not the answer to your question. The answer to your question is I've taken that model and I've created I had a right now I'm just doing a hike every other week. 

Rich Bennett 11:48
A hike. 

Bob Wischer 11:50
I have got it in the meet up. I go to hike every other 

Rich Bennett 11:53
Nice. 

Bob Wischer 11:53
week. 

Rich Bennett 11:54
Okay. 

Bob Wischer 11:55
Could be could be depending depending on who shows up and how many show up. It could be an hour, it could be 2 hours, whatever it is. But one of the things that I, I also get frustrated frustrated with with the way the memory coming back around was we'd sit in chairs in a circle and just talk. 

Rich Bennett 12:13
And inside, probably. 

Bob Wischer 12:14
Inside. Inside? Well, inside during the winter. We're in Michigan here, so in the winter 

Rich Bennett 12:18
Okay. 

Bob Wischer 12:18
months, it's real tough to be outside, 

Rich Bennett 12:20
Well, 

Bob Wischer 12:21
sitting 

Rich Bennett 12:21
yeah. 

Bob Wischer 12:21
around in a circle, even if you've got a blazing fire going in the middle, you've still going to freeze your butt off. So. 

Rich Bennett 12:26
Right. 

Bob Wischer 12:27
So I kind of change that around going on a hike. Obviously, even if it's cold, you could be outside. You're moving around. I've actually been out there. It's about 15 degrees a couple times and I'm not cold enough when I. 

Rich Bennett 12:37
No. 

Bob Wischer 12:37
It's not cool at all because I'm walking. I'm talking. I'm engaged in the conversation. I don't even think about the whole. 

Rich Bennett 12:44
It helps with your mental health. 

Bob Wischer 12:46
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Like, if I tell my wife this all the time that if I don't get my work out soon, I get loony. I start out like the the old depression stuff that I have dealt with. I'm off the medication. 

Rich Bennett 13:00
Good. 

Bob Wischer 13:00
I've been off it for years. But yeah, if I go too many days without a workout, then it comes back hard. 

Rich Bennett 13:05
It's a it's amazing how, you know, when you work out, you go outside, even if it's like for a little walk or just to go outside and 

Bob Wischer 13:15
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 13:15
one of the things I did like in in October, we have a butterfly bush out back. So if I could walk around, I would just go out back. And we had a shitload of monarch butterflies. 

Bob Wischer 13:27
Oh, nice. 

Rich Bennett 13:28
And I would just watch them. And it's amazing how that actually helps, you 

Bob Wischer 13:32
Men 

Rich Bennett 13:33
know? 

Bob Wischer 13:33
are Men are meant to be. Men are meant to be connected in nature. That's 

Rich Bennett 13:36
Oh, 

Bob Wischer 13:36
why we're 

Rich Bennett 13:36
yeah. 

Bob Wischer 13:36
not. We're not meant to dwell inside. That's. I think of that all the time when I hear that, you know, they talk about young boys and A.D.D. and all that stuff. It's because you take them. You stick them in a classroom. You make them sit in the chair and not move. 

Rich Bennett 13:50
I agree with that. 

Bob Wischer 13:51
Try to make them learn craft And here's a year ago. Your example is perfect. Go outside and stare at a butterfly bush for an hour. You probably learn more than you will. 

Rich Bennett 14:00
Oh, the thing is, people don't understand and I've told this story a couple of times. When you go outside and you enjoy nature and just look at things and appreciate it more, it's amazing how much it can help. That same day in Butterfly Bush, I saw what I thought was a bumblebee at first, and it was one of those 

I'm going to forget the name of it now. A hummingbird moth. You ever see a hummingbird moth? 

Bob Wischer 14:29
I'm not sure. I've 

Rich Bennett 14:30
It's like. 

Bob Wischer 14:31
never heard. 

Rich Bennett 14:32
Yeah. May be a different name, but it's. It looks like a. Almost looks like a bumblebee. But it's like it's a hummingbird. But smaller than a hummingbird. And I'm just watching and I reached out the thing. Let me pet it. 

Bob Wischer 14:47
Wow. Wow. 

Rich Bennett 14:48
I was like, Wow. I mean, that just it made my day. Made my day. Another time I went for a walk down by the local park. I think Bird Freak is a squirrel to come up and eat from you and all that. And and I just you got to be patient. But I put out the hand. Put out my hand. I see that Carolina Wren came down, landed in my hand and started eating. I was 

Bob Wischer 15:09
My 

Rich Bennett 15:09
like, 

Bob Wischer 15:09
I have a similar story. My wife and I went to Colorado back last fall for 

Rich Bennett 15:15
Mm. 

Bob Wischer 15:15
a wedding and we we stayed. Actually, I'm in my house to spark a rep in Estes Park tonight. We were we had an Airbnb there and we went out the first the first morning we had after we had checked in, there were some deer out back and. She got up, she had we had bought some pumpkin seeds for a frosty. She start, she starts tossing them to these deer and they're coming up closer because she eventually, after some persistency, she got the deer to literally eat out of her hand. 

Rich Bennett 15:47
Probably made her feel really good to. 

Bob Wischer 15:48
Oh, it was. It was insane. I've got I've got I've got video of it. She's just she was she's she's pretty chill about it because she just loves animals. But I was I was amazed. I was like, how did you have the patience to do that? She was out there for a good hour just sitting there. 

Rich Bennett 16:04
And you, you you said, why should I take it? Well, 

Bob Wischer 16:07
I'm remarried. 

Rich Bennett 16:08
obviously you remarry. 

Bob Wischer 16:10
Yes, we. 

Rich Bennett 16:11
How long? How long have you been, Mandy? Now. 

Bob Wischer 16:14
Two. It's 2025. Right. So I've got to do the math. Almost almost six years. 2018, seven years. Six years. Almost seven. 

Rich Bennett 16:26
I always got to do the math, too. 

Bob Wischer 16:27
got to do the math, Minister. We're getting too old for that. 

Rich Bennett 16:31
Yeah, I think so. No, I love this new venture that you're on, because I think that's going to, especially with the hikes and everything, I think that's going to help out a lot more. The exercise, without a doubt. The faith. Actually, do you how many have you done so far to. 

Bob Wischer 16:49
Two. Yes. Two so far. So I'm 

Rich Bennett 16:51
Do 

Bob Wischer 16:51
working 

Rich Bennett 16:52
you end 

Bob Wischer 16:52
on. 

Rich Bennett 16:52
it? Do You ended in prayer. 

Bob Wischer 16:55
No, we haven't done that. It's it's a good thought. 

Rich Bennett 17:00
Yeah, Why not? 

Bob Wischer 17:01
Look at that. So it depends on who show they are. I don't I don't I don't tend to try to put this like f three, doesn't it? We don't push it on anybody. I just 

Rich Bennett 17:09
Right. 

Bob Wischer 17:10
I want people to see God's love and and be that be that light like we're supposed to be as disciples and and try to try to do the best I can to show the good the good parts of of faith, not 

Rich Bennett 17:23
hmm. 

Bob Wischer 17:23
all the other stuff. So. 

Rich Bennett 17:27
This is awesome. I'm glad you're doing that because when you said that you stepped away from God, I already forgot the name of it. L meant become. 

Bob Wischer 17:35
Becoming. 

Rich Bennett 17:36
And I'm like, Oh, wait a minute, 

Bob Wischer 17:40
Nope, 

Rich Bennett 17:40
What's 

Bob Wischer 17:41
nope. 

Rich Bennett 17:41
going 

Bob Wischer 17:41
It's 

Rich Bennett 17:41
on? 

Bob Wischer 17:41
still going. And 

Rich Bennett 17:42
Yeah, 

Bob Wischer 17:42
I. 

Rich Bennett 17:43
but now that you're doing something new and there's nothing wrong with that, a lot of people will build up something and then turn it over to somebody else and create something new. 

Bob Wischer 17:53
That's and that's exactly what I was thinking when I did it, that some of the guys could take it very well. They thought I was abandoning them. But at the. 

Rich Bennett 18:00
You got to. Yeah, but you got to take care of yourself, too. 

Bob Wischer 18:03
And I know there was other men. There was other men out there that needed help in a different way as well. So. 

Rich Bennett 18:07
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 18:08
And the other the other part I didn't mention of what I what I'm doing on the Xs. That's why I've got that list of all with the standards that we were using. I'm a better man. I'm using the the the period while we're walking to to dive into one of those. So I'll provide the information of what that, you know, that standard actually I've of principles now but. One of those principles and more often we'll talk about it there, what it is. And then as we're walking. The intention is to discuss it, you know, talk about how how are you using that in your life? How are you not using that in your life? Where do you need to work on that in your life? And just kind of a do a more of an experiential 

Rich Bennett 18:49
Right. 

Bob Wischer 18:49
learning. And as we walk and talk, instead of just sitting in a circle reading at once and and forgetting about it. I think so because the struggle I had with even learning them in the first place. 

Yeah, we'd, we'd, we'd sit down in a circle and every two weeks or to read them. 

Rich Bennett 19:09
Yeah, 

Bob Wischer 19:09
But that was it. We. There was no. And of course, we learned better by experience saying things and doing things. So it's given me a much better method or a vehicle to to help these men learn what these things are about. Now. 

Rich Bennett 19:24
right. 

Bob Wischer 19:24
There's 18 of them. So 18 and every two weeks means you've got to come hike with me for probably about a year straight to get them all. But yeah, we could. We could. That's the slow way. Or we can work together one on one and we can do it in a short period time. 

Rich Bennett 19:39
You'll feel a lot better when you're done to be healthier, that's for sure. 

Bob Wischer 19:42
Absolutely. Mentally, mentally, physically and spiritually out there. 

Rich Bennett 19:46
And you mentioned before, I guess with your first marriage, you said that you need to lose weight and all that as well. So if you don't mind me asking, how bad? As far as your health, how bad was that? We know your mental health you are. 

Bob Wischer 20:00
Yeah. Physical health. I know it was typical. You get to the top of the stairs and you're like. 

Rich Bennett 20:06
Out of breath. Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 20:07
I hated that. I hated that. I actually thought the other. The other analogy I use is I got a very big maple tree in my backyard. 

Rich Bennett 20:19
Well. 

Bob Wischer 20:19
And it drops a heck of a lot of leaves. And so back ten years ago when I when I was at my peak, too, I'm only 510, So £240 was my peak. I remember being out there raking the leaves and I'd be able to do it for a couple of minutes and I'd have to stop, catch my breath. 

Probably took me two days. 

Rich Bennett 20:42
Wow. 

Bob Wischer 20:43
In pieces to. To get all those leads and bag them up and take them to the to the street. 

Lost, lost weight, started working out. It crossed. I did CrossFit for about four years. I've 

Rich Bennett 20:54
Wow. 

Bob Wischer 20:55
transitioned out of that now because it was it would be a pretty good high. 

Rich Bennett 20:59
Right. 

Bob Wischer 20:59
I'm 55, so it's a it's a little harder to do that on a day to day. But but yeah, I know I can do it in like 3 hours. What used to take me two days to rip the leaves in the backyard. So that's just and to me it was, it was a frustration. I didn't, I didn't like who I was becoming again, I just like to look at all three of those things physically, mentally and spiritually. Because back then I didn't know. I didn't know Christ either. So there's that, that that's come into play here and. 

Rich Bennett 21:29
That makes a big difference. 

Bob Wischer 21:30
In the last six or seven years that's come into play as well. So it's been a full transition from 2014. When I got divorced to where we are now in 2025 with with those three those three huge categories. And I I'm sure I couldn't have done one without the other. 

Rich Bennett 21:50
Right. 

Bob Wischer 21:51
So. 

Rich Bennett 21:52
So. I said, You said to 40. Were you dieting or did you change your lifestyle? Because you mentioned the CrossFit. 

Bob Wischer 22:00
I Yeah, I did both. Yeah, I was. Yeah, Yeah, I was. I was the proverbial couch potato. 

Rich Bennett 22:07
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 22:08
Didn't do anything. And and again, like I said, part of my my mental health was was getting into exercise. And and now I know if I don't, I get. 

Rich Bennett 22:19
They're miserable. 

Bob Wischer 22:20
Yeah. Yeah. It goes downhill fast. 

Rich Bennett 22:24
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 22:24
It's hard. I'll go right to miserable. I go about halfway there, and then I realize, Oh, you know what? I haven't. Haven't been to the gym in a couple of days or I need to go for a walk or I need to get outside, get some fresh air. 

Rich Bennett 22:34
Feel like you're cheating yourself. 

Bob Wischer 22:36
Yeah, actually, yeah, actually, I do. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 22:38
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 22:39
You feel like if you don't go? If I don't go to the gym now, I feel guilty that I didn't go to the. 

Rich Bennett 22:44
I'm the same way. When I was up to £300 and I did a diet. I was doing the DDP yoga, lost £50. Hurt my back went into downward dog. Stop. Put on the weight again. And then this time I. I just. I changed my lifestyle. I didn't go on a particular diet, but, you know, I started counting calories and started walking and exercising again. And I feel bad. I use this app called Noom and okay, I feel bad if I miss a day. It's like or I forget the ads was like. I didn't add. And you know what I love about it? You get street treat days, not cheat day. 

Bob Wischer 23:29
The. 

Rich Bennett 23:29
Three days. But Oh, my God, I. Yeah, You feel so much better. My mental health is a lot better. My physical health is a lot better. I can see my toes. 

That's a big difference. And I'm not getting it. Like you said, I'm not getting out of breath when I walk up the steps and everything. 

Bob Wischer 23:48
Absolutely. At that. That to me was the worst one. And then my the other big kicker was back in 2016, my doctor told me I was pre-diabetic. 

Rich Bennett 23:56
That's why I started. That's why I changed everything. 

Bob Wischer 23:59
I was like, I'm not going there, man. And I'm still I'm still I live right on the edge. 

Rich Bennett 24:03
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 24:03
I still live right on the edge. And I'm thinking that's probably a lot of heredity, a lot of heredity. My 

Rich Bennett 24:08
Yep. 

Bob Wischer 24:08
my dad's got it, too. And but I even with as much as I do where I'm at, I don't work out every day, but I work out pretty sweet. And I do actually eat. I try to. 

Rich Bennett 24:18
Mm hmm. 

Bob Wischer 24:19
Perfect example. Yesterday they had doughnuts at the office. I did not have one, and I didn't go to the office on Tuesday for punching either, so I missed them both. 

Rich Bennett 24:27
For what? 

Bob Wischer 24:29
And in Detroit here we've got we've got a they the it's I it's part Polish. There's there's a Polish community here in the Detroit area that they make these that it's a donut, but it's called a punch. 

Rich Bennett 24:42
Oh, okay. 

Bob Wischer 24:44
And it's like this super high class thing. That's the point of it, is that you're supposed to eat them. The Tuesday, it's called Fat Tuesday, right? 

Rich Bennett 24:51
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 24:52
On Tuesday before Ash Wednesday to take. So you can fast or whatever it is on Wednesday which I'd I don't personally do that but it's just one of those traditional things it's a big deal around here in Detroit. So it's. But I dodged the donuts for two days. That's how you avoid those type of things. No, but I'll have my treat this once in 

Rich Bennett 25:11
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 25:11
a while. I my wife and I didn't feel like cooking last night. We were we had pizza last night. That was our treat day. And so today's back at. 

Rich Bennett 25:18
Oh. 

Bob Wischer 25:18
Back at being healthy and and getting back to the gym. I got I got to workout tomorrow and, you know, good to go. 

Rich Bennett 25:25
I've become a big fan of the Cauliflower Pizza. 

Bob Wischer 25:29
Which we've tried it. It's the that's. 

Rich Bennett 25:32
No, no. Well, it's definitely not the same, But I know what I do, cause we did a pizza making party for my niece's birthday. And, of course, I took cauliflower crust every day for myself and my wife. little bit of Alfredo sauce. The different cheeses and spinach. I only eat one slice. It's not bad. It's good. I mean, it's better than putting big beans on your pizza, like. 

Bob Wischer 25:59
But. 

Rich Bennett 25:59
My cousin did that. 

Bob Wischer 26:01
Thank you. 

Rich Bennett 26:02
No, no. 

If you don't mind me asking, because you also mentioned going through your divorce. You said your kids were in college. 

Bob Wischer 26:12
My my daughter was just graduating high school and going to college. My son was a couple of years behind. 

Rich Bennett 26:18
And how did it affect them, if you don't mind me. 

Bob Wischer 26:20
It was rough. 

Rich Bennett 26:21
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 26:21
It was. It was rough. And I I try to I try to not throw her under the bus too much. But she was she was doing a heck of a job trying to to convince them that I was a horrible person. 

Rich Bennett 26:35
Right. 

Bob Wischer 26:35
Making things up. Telling them stories about and things that weren't true. And there was a good chunk of time from when I was more or less forced to move out of the house before the divorce was actually final. 

That I didn't get to see that much. Our basically our times when my son was still playing ball at the time. So we got to spend a little more time than my daughter did. But. 

Rich Bennett 27:01
Mm hmm. 

Bob Wischer 27:03
But. But it was. I didn't see how much we are are are times that for that period of time were basically we'd go out to dinner 

Rich Bennett 27:11
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 27:11
and spend an hour or per hour or two together. And that was it. And it was it was it was a rough it was difficult for for all of us. And it took a lot of time and a lot of effort on my part to to rebuild their trust in me and and know that I'm still the same dad that I always was. I'm 

Rich Bennett 27:31
Right. 

Bob Wischer 27:31
always there for them. I'd do anything for them. I support them. They they've they're they're thriving in their lives. So it's everything has worked out for the best, regardless of what hap how we got there. It's worked out for the best right now. 

Rich Bennett 27:46
How has your relationship with them now? 

Bob Wischer 27:49
Oh, it's good. It's good. Yeah. No, it's not. Obviously, it's not as tight as I would want it to be, but they're also 28 and 25 at this point in my 25 year old's married and doing his thing already. So he's, 

Rich Bennett 28:01
Wow. 

Bob Wischer 28:01
you know, so they're they're they're in those years, they're kind of those in-between years where, Yes, we've gotten away from mom and dad, but we're we're not quite to the point yet where we need them again to for babysitting and all that other kind of stuff. 

Rich Bennett 28:13
Right. 

Bob Wischer 28:14
Don't have any grandkids yet, but hopefully that's that's not too far off because I'm excited and looking forward to that. 

Rich Bennett 28:20
Me. Too bad. I keep telling my sources like, Come on, Baba. So great kids bad. I need. I need 

Bob Wischer 28:28
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 28:28
the little and my daughter still here. She and she works at a daycare so she could change a diaper. I don't mind because it's just something that probably the little kids. You know, and you can teach them things 

Bob Wischer 28:38
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 28:38
that don't. Never mind. Now, so with your ex, do you talk to her at all? 

Bob Wischer 28:44
I have not talked to her. 

Rich Bennett 28:45
No, really. 

Bob Wischer 28:48
My 12 years. 

Rich Bennett 28:51
Wow. 

Bob Wischer 28:52
I tried. I tried to. My son got married 

over about a year, just over a year ago. I tried to talk to her at the wedding and she would not. 

Rich Bennett 29:03
Right. 

Bob Wischer 29:04
And that was that was 11 years after the fact. She's still. Have a conversation. 

Rich Bennett 29:09
See. I hate to say, but that's whether male or female, when you go through a divorce and you have kids. No matter what, you're going to be in each other's lives for the rest of your life. Why not work at? You know, it just. I know it's hard for a lot of people. I mean, it's not my son's mother and I were. She's actually in my life in the Lions Club with me. But we get along better now than when we were together. 

Bob Wischer 29:40
I have a couple of friends that are or situations and me and you think it's most of the men. But actually I have a friend of mine that is as a woman. She had her kids taken away completely. And she said, 

Rich Bennett 29:54
Right. 

Bob Wischer 29:54
it's not like you would think if you if somebody told you that like she's you know, she was an addict or she had some type of such, not a thing. She's a teacher. She's a teacher. That works out regularly. Does she runs, she does CrossFit. She does all these things. And somehow they squirrelled her children away from her, all three of them. And it's it's been devastating. And it's just it breaks my heart. And then I have another friend that went through a divorce and I'm moving to state and and you know, she got no custody of the boys either. And one of them was only 12 at the time. And I, I just it it breaks my heart to hear that a 12 year a 12 year old boy. 

Rich Bennett 30:35
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 30:35
Loses that influence of his father from age 12 to my number. Right. And that 

Rich Bennett 30:41
Mm. 

Bob Wischer 30:42
those years are just so important for four boys to be able to see that masculinity of of their fathers and understand where your heart in not only hard work but all those other things that, like I mentioned before, that we really should have and should learn from our fathers that, you know, unless you're with them 24 seven, you don't get that. 

Rich Bennett 31:04
So. Make sure I remember this right. So you were married for 20 years, right? 

Bob Wischer 31:09
Yeah. 19. 

Rich Bennett 31:10
19 years. Okay. So. And you met your well, at the time, I guess you met who is now your wife. 

How? What? 

Trying to figure out how to phrase this 

after you guys were dating. You. Obviously you fell in love the. How hard was it for you to decide whether to get married again or not? 

Bob Wischer 31:38
That was. That was tough. That was tough. Yeah, I was very I was very opposed to it at first. It just it became obvious after or after a few years. It was it was a few years. We. 

Rich Bennett 31:52
Right. 

Bob Wischer 31:52
Dated. We actually lived together at that point. 

But yeah, it was that was difficult because I didn't want to go through that. The the, the trauma of the divorce 

was, was a lot. And I really didn't want to go through that again. But eventually it became obvious that this is this woman is is the best and no no other no but nobody else I want to be with. So we might as well lock it down and and, and. 

Rich Bennett 32:27
Now, Is this her first marriage? No. So what now? She's not here for me to ask questions. 

Bob Wischer 32:35
No, she she was. She was. I mean, she was fine, actually. 

Rich Bennett 32:37
Really? 

Bob Wischer 32:38
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 32:38
Okay. 

Bob Wischer 32:39
It actually just became became a convenience for it's your insurance and and financial 

Rich Bennett 32:46
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 32:47
situations it's just was much easier to connect in that way. I mean we were we were we were living as if we were married, so it didn't. 

Rich Bennett 32:56
Right. 

Bob Wischer 32:56
It was just the license and the ability to to co-mingle funds and be on my insurance and all that other kind of stuff. So this. 

Rich Bennett 33:05
Matt. She have kids as well. 

Bob Wischer 33:07
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 33:08
So now you have two you have your two kids. How many step kids? 

Bob Wischer 33:11
To. 

Rich Bennett 33:12
To. 

Bob Wischer 33:13
And ironically, the girl, the girls are older and they're about the same age and the boys are about the same age. 

Rich Bennett 33:20
Really? 

Bob Wischer 33:21
So the same same two into same sex is the same. Just. 

Rich Bennett 33:25
Oh, wow. That is. That is awesome. And I guess, I mean, well, I know you because just looking at you, it seems like and I this is a first time meeting, but it seems like you're really happy. 

Bob Wischer 33:36
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. How are you? Of course, things can always be better. But they were 

Rich Bennett 33:41
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 33:41
we got we got no complaints right now. Do you mind dealing with a little health stuff on her side? But nothing, nothing we're not able to handle. And no, just doing the best to live and love and experience. And we love to travel. We like to do to get out the do stuff. Just basic spirit like we were talking about, experienced life in the outdoors and in people and. 

Rich Bennett 34:04
Good. 

Bob Wischer 34:05
And God's creation and all that. So. 

Rich Bennett 34:09
You're listening in on the conversations with Rich Bennett. We'll be right back. 

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4106387021. So this this new venture that you're taking. Is she doing it with you as well, or is this something that still is still strictly for men? 

Bob Wischer 35:42
Strictly. 

Rich Bennett 35:43
Okay. 

Bob Wischer 35:43
Yep. That's, that's my, my jam she got, she's got her things that she works on as well. 

Rich Bennett 35:47
Right. 

Bob Wischer 35:49
But it's true. It's my way to get out and not only to fuel myself, but to get back. 

Rich Bennett 35:56
So what's your ultimate goal for this new venture? How big would you like to see it get? 

Bob Wischer 36:02
Actually, I don't want it to get big. Actually, 

Rich Bennett 36:05
Really? 

Bob Wischer 36:05
that was 

Rich Bennett 36:05
Okay. 

Bob Wischer 36:05
that was another that was another downside of the other group because we got up, we had upwards of 40 or so active members at any given time. 

Rich Bennett 36:14
Right. 

Bob Wischer 36:15
It was very challenging. To remember every man's story, remember every weapon, and be able to touch base with every man over a period of time. It got it got pretty cumbersome. So that was a challenge. I'd like to that that my ultimate vision of this new group is that we get maybe seven, eight, nine guys that are dedicated to be in there every week and and be in there and wanting to, you know, to have the conversations and. 

Rich Bennett 36:42
Mm hmm. 

Bob Wischer 36:43
You know, lock horns, lock shields, whatever you want to call it, build a brotherhood that, you know, we can. You know, like like you probably have military brothers that, you know, guys that you you've been through some stuff with that that you know, 

Rich Bennett 36:58
Yeah, And we used 

Bob Wischer 36:58
that 

Rich Bennett 36:58
to. 

Bob Wischer 36:58
you. Yeah. You do anything for em, right? That's. That's what I want to do. That's, that's ultimately what I'm about. And I want to build a tight core group of guys that that I can regard as a 55 year old man. I just want some some men I can rely on for the next. 

Rich Bennett 37:12
Right. 

Bob Wischer 37:12
20 or 30 years and rely on each other and hold each other up and hold each other accountable to be better men and to be great fathers and and husbands and grandfathers and 

whatever else that may may entail. 

Rich Bennett 37:29
So with the men becoming better men, did you ever think about maybe starting other chapters? 

Bob Wischer 37:36
I have tried. I've tried to do it online a couple a couple of times. I've tried to do it online, 

Rich Bennett 37:40
Mm hmm. 

Bob Wischer 37:41
but actually did did okay. Had had four or five guys last fall. We 

Rich Bennett 37:47
Okay. 

Bob Wischer 37:47
were doing online. But it it it's good, but it's not. I'm more of a in type. 

Rich Bennett 37:57
Right? 

Bob Wischer 37:58
So 

Rich Bennett 37:58
Oh, yeah. 

Bob Wischer 37:59
we actually I learned a lot during COVID, too, as we were we were running men, becoming better men during combat online. And it just 

Rich Bennett 38:07
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 38:07
wasn't the same. I mean, once once we were finally able to get back in person together, it was it was it made all the difference because you can only do so much online. You can only get so much of a. I'm big on energy and vibration and being able to read people with that, it's hard to do sometimes through a screen. So being a being able to be in proximity to people is is obviously the key. But I have tried it. Yeah. I've always been looking for people to. 

Quote unquote, build a chapter. Yeah. Kind 

Rich Bennett 38:42
Right? 

Bob Wischer 38:42
of expand in that way. Kind of like either, you know, mankind projects done it. There's a guy, another group called Men's group that's. But that's more of an online thing. I know there's a lot of other organizations 

Rich Bennett 38:51
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 38:52
around the country where men are doing that and having in-person groups like that together. But it just it's never taken off. 

Rich Bennett 39:00
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 39:00
So. 

Rich Bennett 39:02
Have you. Could you still do the coaching? Right? But all that. All that's in person. 

Bob Wischer 39:09
It can be. It can be. I've, I've had coz I've had clients that are obviously not local to me. So that's. 

Rich Bennett 39:16
All right, good. 

Bob Wischer 39:16
It's challenging, but 

not challenging. But that's just. 

Rich Bennett 39:21
Because you got to do a virtual. 

Bob Wischer 39:22
They're going to do it virtually. Now, it's just it depends on who the person is and what their preference is, actually. I had a new client interview the other night. He was insistent. He's like, Yeah, if we're going to do this, we're going to do it person because that's how I work best. Sure. 

Rich Bennett 39:38
Right. 

Bob Wischer 39:38
Absolutely. And then I've had other people, actually a client. I just just finished up with a client. He was very insistent on we're only going to do it over the phone. He didn't like being on video. He didn't know. He just like. 

Rich Bennett 39:51
Wow. 

Bob Wischer 39:52
So it was here anyway. It was actually local. So it was here. We just got on the phone and it's just so it depends on what the person's comfortable. I'm I'm flexible and comfortable and any any of those modes. But it just depends. 

Rich Bennett 40:06
I mean, with the men becoming better men and what you're doing now, personally, I think you're you're sitting on a gold mine here. And Bob, because it's. 

Bob Wischer 40:16
my bank accounts. 

Rich Bennett 40:17
Who all. But, you know, I mean, men men are always they don't like to reach out and ask for help if they need it. 

Bob Wischer 40:26
No, not at all. 

Rich Bennett 40:27
And I think with this, you know, if you if you like, I am putting this out there. So let's say somebody wanted to start their own group in another state. Would you be open to being a mentor for them? 

Bob Wischer 40:45
Oh, absolutely. Absolute. I do. I have a lot of s I've had some I've wanted to do for a long time and I, I haven't pushed it a whole lot. I think I I've maybe by pushing it at all, I think maybe I've put a Facebook post out in my private you know, 

Rich Bennett 41:02
Right. 

Bob Wischer 41:02
I have a private man becoming Better Men group on Facebook as well. I think I may have thrown it out there a time or two if anybody ever wants to. And but nobody ever took me up on it and I'm sure I got distracted. So that's. But yeah, absolutely. You actually, I, I, I've partially written a book. I was going to. 

Rich Bennett 41:20
I was going to ask you about that. 

Bob Wischer 41:21
At one point I was got a book on how to. 

Rich Bennett 41:24
Right. 

Bob Wischer 41:25
But that that also dovetailed in with me making the decision a couple of months ago that I was going to step away from it. So I've kind of got this half written book about how to do this group that I'm no longer doing. So. But yeah, it's, it, it's not I'll I'll tell you right now it's honestly, it's not hard. 

Rich Bennett 41:42
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 41:43
Just to have kind of kind of some fundamental principles that you that you can't kind of get to patterns if you want to do that, sit down in a circle, you know, word vomit kind of thing that, you know, that's one thing if you want to do an interactive experiential. Yeah, you can go either way. You're going to 

Rich Bennett 42:01
Mm hmm. 

Bob Wischer 42:01
it's it's really it you built it to be whatever you want it to be. But it's it you're you're right as far as it is needed. And it's actually funny you mention that because it's one thing I just talked to. I just right before you, I had a coach call with my coach. 

Rich Bennett 42:16
Right. 

Bob Wischer 42:16
Talking about that conversation I had the other night. And he reminded me that men, men need to be you know, you got to put it put the mirror. Really. It's like, here, here's how you this is how your being brother. 

Rich Bennett 42:29
Mm. 

Bob Wischer 42:29
This is this is what I see. And I know Don't take it the wrong way. I'm not I'm not judging you, but this is what I see you're doing. And you're not being. I don't think you're trying to be the type of man that you want to be. You want to be. You want to be strong, you want to be decisive. You want to be a leader. And you're not being and you're demonstrating that maybe in one part of your life. 

Rich Bennett 42:51
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 42:51
But you're not demonstrating that where it really matters, which is at home, because the video cameras are we talked about the divorce, the number of divorced men that I worked with. 

That's where we've fallen down. And I was the same way. I mean, that was the biggest part of my my first marriage was I was not being. Assertive. I was not being a leader. I was I was letting her dictate and do the things maybe not dictate. Just letting her hurt. Drive the bus more or less. 

Rich Bennett 43:22
Right. 

Bob Wischer 43:23
What do we want for dinner? Or what do we want to do? Where do we want to go on vacation? What do we want? It was always that. 

Rich Bennett 43:28
Mm. 

Bob Wischer 43:29
It was never over. This is what I want to do, and here's how we're going to do it. And taking that and a lot of. A lot of times what I what I've learned is that women, that's what they want. They want to be led. They want they thing they they want to be told, you know, we're going to go here on vacation or we're going to go here for dinner tonight or, you know, to be led and and and just meet. And they got so many other things, decisions and and and things are dealing with kids are dealing with parents. They're dealing with all the rest of the indignities, things taken off their plate. They don't want 

Rich Bennett 44:06
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 44:06
to have to deal with it all. They will they will step it up. If you're not stepping up as as a man and as a leader of your household, they will step up and do it. And that's when you get you get relegated to sit on the couch and and, you know, go to go to work, bring home the money, and I'll take care of everything else. That's not where they want to be. Deep down inside, they may they may think they they may the challenge is to want to step up. They will and they will do that and they'll take that charge. And I applaud them for it. I'm not saying that there anything wrong with it. 

Rich Bennett 44:36
Right? 

Bob Wischer 44:36
Because when the man's not stepping up, somebody's got to lead. 

Rich Bennett 44:39
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 44:39
But. But they don't want that. That's not the women are built for. 

Rich Bennett 44:43
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 44:44
They're built to take care of the things of the manor, take care to take care of their things. Attend the if you. I haven't memorized them, but if you Google feminine and masculine energies. There's things that men are supposed to be doing that women are doing, and there's things that women men are doing that women should be doing. It's a very interesting if you look at the lists, how much were we're changing? 

Rich Bennett 45:13
Oh, yeah. 

Bob Wischer 45:13
Jumping, jumping into each other's spaces that we shouldn't be jumping into. 

Rich Bennett 45:17
Right. 

Bob Wischer 45:18
And if we were to stay in our spaces, there'd be a lot more synergy and a lot more moving forward and growing and and and happiness and peace versus that constant. 

Rich Bennett 45:29
Head butting. 

Bob Wischer 45:30
Had nothing. 

Rich Bennett 45:30
Yeah. You don't want to do that. 

Bob Wischer 45:32
Why are you not doing this? And. 

Rich Bennett 45:35
Yeah. So I didn't notice. Uh, was the last one. February 10th. I think the pi. Are you going to be starting? 

Bob Wischer 45:46
Podcast. 

Rich Bennett 45:47
Yeah. Are you going to be starting Continue doing that. 

Bob Wischer 45:50
No, actually, I well, I'm definitely on I'm definitely on a pause. 

Rich Bennett 45:54
Okay. 

Bob Wischer 45:55
I fit. I'll be honest. I figured having Dr. Glover as my final guest on the show was pretty awesome. Wait a. 

Rich Bennett 46:04
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 46:05
Way to put the name, but put a pin in it. 

He he's he's one of my heroes. He's one of. 

Rich Bennett 46:12
Right. 

Bob Wischer 46:13
My mentors. I learned so much from him. 

I would not be with us today had I not picked up that book 12 some odd years ago. 

And it has just said, 

Yeah, 

I start as the I love doing. I love doing the podcast, but I hate doing the podcast. You probably get that already. 

and the biggest thing, actually, and the funny story is that the two gentlemen I talked to the other night don't listen to my podcast for two years now. I'd never heard from him until all of a sudden, one day a week, about a week ago, he emailed me, said, I've been listening to you for two years. 

Rich Bennett 46:57
Wow. 

Bob Wischer 46:58
Can we have a conversation? I was like, Absolutely. But I was he's only the second person that I've ever 

Rich Bennett 47:06
Heard 

Bob Wischer 47:06
had 

Rich Bennett 47:06
from. 

Bob Wischer 47:06
reached. Reach out to me. And I've I've got 8000 downloads of that podcast over. 

Rich Bennett 47:12
Right. 

Bob Wischer 47:13
Over its entirety of its existence. And I've had two people reach. So that's why I say it's fun. It's fun to do it. I love putting out the content, I love sharing 

tools and the things, the thoughts, things that I know and that mean a lot to me. But the hardest part for me was the feedback I, I rarely get. And maybe you experience this too. You don't get a lot and I don't do it either. I'll be honest. I'll listen to one of my favorite podcasts is triple-A Linear. 

Rich Bennett 47:45
Mm hmm. 

Bob Wischer 47:46
I've listened to tons of his podcasts. I did. I did reach out to him once. But but most podcasts I'll listen to, I can listen to podcasts and love it, and I will not. I won't respond. It will 

Rich Bennett 47:58
Right. 

Bob Wischer 47:58
freight it or do any of that stuff. I just I consume. We're so now this. 

Rich Bennett 48:03
Like reading a book. You're just soaking it in. 

Bob Wischer 48:05
Exactly. I just soak it in and then I go on to the next one, I don't think. 

Rich Bennett 48:08
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 48:09
To go and hit it or provide any feedback or whatever. But yeah, just to not get any feedback. I think once in a while, like somebody, I think there's been like people at church or people in my, in the men's group that would say, Hey, I really like that episode. 

Rich Bennett 48:22
Mm hmm. 

Bob Wischer 48:23
Great X you're supposed to then we're supposed to have a deeper conversation, not just by eye. And that's probably my fault, too. What do you like about it? If you get into deeper? But yeah, just not not getting the feedback was was pretty tricky. And I don't know if I'll go back. 

Rich Bennett 48:39
It is. It is. It's. 

Because I've been doing mine for ten years. Yeah. Yeah. You don't get feedback all the time. Um, but when you do it, sometimes you get negative feedback. Well, that 

Bob Wischer 48:55
That's actually that'd be better feedback than none. I'd rather get 

Rich Bennett 48:58
true. 

Bob Wischer 48:58
I'd rather get negative than none. 

Rich Bennett 49:00
I've had two that I could think of. I've only had two that were negative feedback. 

Bob Wischer 49:08
That's awesome in ten years. 

Rich Bennett 49:10
But I mean, you don't. I don't get them all the time, but the ones I get it just and I'll never forget this one, because we did when we were talking to somebody at some recovery. And I had somebody from Canada contacted me and thanked me for that episode because he had a daughter and he didn't know what to do. She was in a. Yet he had no idea what to do. And that. 

Bob Wischer 49:34
That's a blessing. 

Rich Bennett 49:35
Yeah. So it's the little things like that help out. Now, keep in mind, I do it because I love learning. I love learning from other people and I can't think of an episode where I've done where I haven't learned something, know? But, you know, a you know, sometimes you get some weird people. Now, I don't want to say let me rephrase. 

Bob Wischer 50:02
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 50:02
You get some people that want to come on and you're like, Well, what do you want to talk about? Well. 

Bob Wischer 50:09
Oh, there's that conversation. 

Rich Bennett 50:11
Yeah, I had to laugh because that pizza party, my great niece and nephew, they're like ten and six. They're like, Oh, guy, we want to come on your podcast. 

Bob Wischer 50:23
Hi. 

Rich Bennett 50:24
What do you want to talk about? 

Bob Wischer 50:27
Peter. 

Rich Bennett 50:27
I don't know. Well, you've got obviously. Of course, my youngest niece, she's like John Cena. 

Now this is before the heel turn, so she probably wouldn't want to now, but oh, yeah, it's and I've even had other people reach out to me like one guy like, Hey, I want to come on your podcast. I said, Fine, What do you wanna talk about? Well, it's all about politics, I said. 

Bob Wischer 50:52
Now. 

Rich Bennett 50:52
I don't thought that. Nope, nope. I don't talk that. My thing is, I want to raise awareness and I want to learn. Because if I've learned that, I know my listeners are learning. And I just the funny thing is, with this new prize experience, especially use an iPod match. This is like networking. You meet so many different people and you stay stay in touch with them. I've had a lot of people that I've met through marriage that have been on multiple times. You know, And it's great. Which I know you're going to be back, especially when you finish that book 

Bob Wischer 51:35
I 

Rich Bennett 51:35
is. 

Bob Wischer 51:35
would write that down. Rich says I have to finish the book. 

Rich Bennett 51:37
Bob's like, really rich. But the thing is, because what you do and I've talked to other people and actually I had two young ladies on started a business is called Sincerely Divorced. And they do group meetings and it's strictly with men or women that are. Yeah, they are divorced because a lot of people are lost. They don't know what to do. 

Bob Wischer 52:06
That's a that's a great concept. 

Rich Bennett 52:08
Yeah. So Yeah. And they, I've been mentoring them and because they as we said, we all know how to make turn, you know, make money from it. Number one, a book so little books when you're doing these and they're meeting in person. Sell your books there. It's emerged. That always helps keep some speakers in charge for these things that you're doing. There's so much you can do. Start a podcast, get sponsors for whatever you want to do, and or turn it into a nonprofit. I think the nonprofit part would be harder, though. 

Bob Wischer 52:42
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 52:44
But they're doing great with it. 

Bob Wischer 52:46
It's also. 

Rich Bennett 52:47
So far. And I. I don't. You're the first I think. I think you are the first one that I've heard of. Of men. That because you have gone through it, would you started it mainly for you're the first one I've heard of and I've had somebody else on. I forget his name already through pod match 

because he that's how I found out about Dr. Glover's book. No More Mister. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Right. Yeah. Which I keep thinking of Alice Cooper, and I forget the guy's name. God, he's going to yell at me. It wasn't Nicky. Oh, man. Shoot. Now I'm going to have to go back and do my research. 

Bob Wischer 53:30
Sorry. 

Rich Bennett 53:30
I forgot. I forgot. So if somebody wants you to coach them, how do they get in touch with you? 

Bob Wischer 53:36
They can go to my website. Men Becoming Better. CNN.com are also on Instagram as the relationship engineer. They reach out to me that way as well. 

Rich Bennett 53:47
I like that. 

Bob Wischer 53:49
That's that's my that's my, my, my slant on life coach is relationship engineer. And that's really about strengthening marriage. Building, building stronger relationships and helping men align their ambition with integrity so that they can. Live their lives in alignment with 

Rich Bennett 54:09
Right. 

Bob Wischer 54:09
with who they want to be, what they want to be, and also not not just put everything into their life, in their business, but into their families and their relationships and marriages as well. 

Rich Bennett 54:21
All right. How did you get that come up with that title? 

Bob Wischer 54:24
Relationship engineer. Actually, it's. So you know it was relationship coach obviously was let's kind of the first thought right because I. 

Rich Bennett 54:34
Huh? 

Bob Wischer 54:35
My coach coaches kind of made sure you know how helping me hone my my, my niche. So it was relationships and then my date, my day job for the past, you know, 30 some odd years has been in the automotive industry. And I and I I'm not an engineer by trade, but I work with engineers a lot. And I basically I oversee the the the design and manufacturing processes. 

Rich Bennett 55:02
Oh, wow. 

Bob Wischer 55:03
Four car parts for the last 30 years. So engineering is a big piece of my life. So I just stuff those two things together and it sounded pretty cool and people seem to like it so that's where we want. 

Rich Bennett 55:15
Oh, wow. I like it, man. So. But now, with the men becoming better men. You're still keeping that website, right? 

Bob Wischer 55:23
Yeah. I'm becoming a better man as my as my. It's kind of the a.k.a ah the DBA 

Rich Bennett 55:30
Also 

Bob Wischer 55:30
call it as. 

Rich Bennett 55:31
doing business as. 

Bob Wischer 55:32
It's not the name of my business. My business was generated a few years ago and it's got a different name that's irrelevant to men's work. So men becoming better men I came up with when I started the group, that's kind of my my what I'm what I'm working as. 

Rich Bennett 55:46
Right. 

Bob Wischer 55:47
His the organization. And I just and obviously tells it tells you exactly what I'm about and what I'm trying to do. So if you don't there's that there's no question when you when you look at look at that it's like, okay, I see what you try to do. 

Rich Bennett 56:02
All right. So before I get to my last question, is there anything you would like to add? 

Bob Wischer 56:10
I always think I think we've covered we've covered an awful lot. Well, basically, I think probably the only thing is that just. What I what I like to work with people on is is an acronym that I came up with here just very recently was in power. I want to empower men to be better men. And that was actually that was all Stanford letters all stand for something different. Its environment, which is what's what's going on around us, where we're where we're at in our lives in the. I'll call it the cleanliness of our environment. What we're not only what we're putting into our our bodies and put it into our minds as well. There's mindset, obviously, a huge, huge part of it. That's the p purpose. 

I guess like I said, I got to the point in my my first marriage, at that point in time, I was like, okay, I no longer have a relationship. My kids are grown to the point where they don't really need dad on a day to day basis anymore. I've had this career for, you know, 20 some odd years that, you know, I can keep doing that in my sleep pretty much. 

Rich Bennett 57:25
Right. 

Bob Wischer 57:26
What else is there? What else am I? I can't. I can't just go to work and come home for the next 40 years. What else am I supposed to do when I realized. Wow. What? What is this about? And what am I supposed to be doing? So purpose, basically. Purpose after kind of purpose after kids is like. What are we supposed to be doing? You know, you've obviously fallen in love with podcasting. Huge, huge part of your purpose on a day to day basis. But a lot of guys, like I said, the gentleman I talked to today, he's like, I've been doing this job and I've been married, but now I'm getting to the point where my kids are graduating and I don't know what to I don't know what to do. 

Rich Bennett 58:03
Right. 

Bob Wischer 58:04
I don't know what I want. You know what? I need to fill my time with something. And of course, retirement is not far off. So you want to be with one of one of those men, I said. I talked to my doctor about this. My last appointment is I was like, You're good. You're probably getting close to retirement. Are you, doc? And he's like, No. He's like, I'm not going to do it. I'm going to keep going. I will keep going because I know he Yeah, As a physician saying that he's known other physicians who have retired and fell over dead within a year. 

Rich Bennett 58:35
I know a lot of people have done that period. 

Bob Wischer 58:37
And then there's that. There's men in general. We lose that purpose in our life that 

Rich Bennett 58:40
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 58:41
we got to get up and go to work. That's our purpose every day, every day, all the time. And you get to a point. You get you get to whether 65 or whatever, you get to retirement, it's like 

Rich Bennett 58:50
Yup. That's 

Bob Wischer 58:50
got. 

Rich Bennett 58:51
how I said I'll be 100 years old and still do be doing this. My guests won't understand what the hell I'm saying, but I mean. I mean. 

Bob Wischer 58:59
So you got to. You got to wear something to keep going. Next is upper opportunities, which is growth of young leaning into that personal growth space and keeping growing instead of becoming stagnant. Because if or not for not growing, we're doing the opposite, right? 

Rich Bennett 59:11
Right. 

Bob Wischer 59:12
We're dealing with well-being, which is health. Obviously, you and I both have a big, big piece of that with our with our weight loss journeys and being healthy and exercise and all that stuff. Elevation is just kind of a word that I threw in there to be mean, moving all of it, all of those categories, moving them up. 

Rich Bennett 59:28
He's achieved the climb higher. 

Bob Wischer 59:31
And then and then the last ones. Resources. You know Who. Who? Who do I. Who do I need in my corner to help me with what it is I want to do? And that purpose thing is figuring out what you want to do. And then the resources, how to how do I get it done? What do I need and what do I need to learn? What or who do I need to know? 

Rich Bennett 59:48
I like that. 

Bob Wischer 59:50
So empower empowering men to be better men. 

Rich Bennett 59:53
You got to put it on a shirt. 

Bob Wischer 59:56
Actually, I have been becoming better in shirts, but they don't have that on them yet. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:00
Well, there you go. There's more merch for you, man. 

Bob Wischer 1:00:03
You have to add some heads up to it. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:06
All right. So for my last question, for men that are actually listening right now, who feel stuck. What's the very very first step they should take to start shifting their mindset? 

Bob Wischer 1:00:18
Hmm. First thing that's. I could go. I could go. So many. There's so many that. But I got to I got to say, the first thing for me was was getting, getting moving, getting off the couch, gettin outdoors, like we talked about. I actually my, my, the the fundamental piece of my weight loss journey, obviously counting calories was was was a big piece of it. But getting moving and and like I said, I used to I'd walk up a flight of stairs and get winded and. I got the I got the Fitbit, you know, watch the cover. I just started counting my steps and I started over with a goal of 5000 a day and over time, as as I as I did that day after day after day for a couple of weeks. And I grew it to 7500 and then eventually to a to 10,000. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:13
Nice. 

Bob Wischer 1:01:14
I was doing just maybe 10,000 steps a day. And as of course, I'm reducing my calories, increasing my movement. So therefore, the weight started coming off. I got to a point and again, it my, my, my, my neighborhoods had a lot of memories for me. I from my time when I was going through it, I remember I was just here, were behind my house and walking down and I was like, you know, and I wasn't I hadn't run in decades. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:40
Right. 

Bob Wischer 1:01:42
So, you know, knees hurt everything. And I was walking along one day as I catch, you know what? My knees really feel good. I, I put check and run and I just picked the pace and I started jogging a little bit. And of course, that got me on my 10,000 steps faster that day. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:59
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 1:01:59
But what that prompted me to do then was I was like, I wonder if I could learn how to run better. And I found an app called Couch to 

5kcc 5kcc to 5ki think is the app with the app is called and it is a ranger and it's like, how much do you walk versus running? And they still give you this periodic cadence of, you know, run for a minute, walk for. You know, and it built you up to where you can have a consistent pace for running a five day race. And I did that. And so from April of 2016, started doing that. by thanks Thanksgiving, I ran my first five that. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:41
Really? Oh, that is awesome. 

Bob Wischer 1:02:45
So. Yeah, so. So again um, and then, and then that doing that then parlayed into I started CrossFit which was as a whole nothing. That's a whole other level. Right. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:56
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 1:02:57
But, but I, but I loved it, I loved doing CrossFit at the beginning. It hurt like the beginning, but it was getting into that. Not only was it, you know, getting out and exercising, but that community aspect of it to meeting people, 

Rich Bennett 1:03:11
Mm hmm. 

Bob Wischer 1:03:11
talking to people, rebuilding relationships that I had lost or didn't have from the divorce part of it. So can get it getting out there. Just get getting and I understand a lot of it and especially, you know, through through COVID, we you know, the isolation 

Rich Bennett 1:03:29
Mm hmm. 

Bob Wischer 1:03:30
of it, living, living in isolation is is just it. it. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:36
A nightmare. 

Bob Wischer 1:03:37
We all know. We all know how it feels. It feels horrible. But the the the the I guess to answer your question succinctly, the important part is taking action. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:47
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 1:03:48
Take an action. Do something today that you do yesterday that's going to make you feel better, whether it's getting out and exercising, whether it's watching what you eat, you know, reading, learning, it's getting outside. So, many options. But you got to just you've got to take action. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:10
I think I'm going to have to look for a pair of running shoes. 

I mean, I haven't I can't even tell you the last time I ran. But when you mentioned that the walk in the jogging and that a running, it reminded me of a time when when I was in the Corps, we were down in Virginia training the SEALs and the midshipmen. And our gunnery sergeant was very gung ho. 

Bob Wischer 1:04:38
They usually are. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:39
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 1:04:39
Oh. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:40
And it was like 103 degrees that day. The heat index and your which means you're not supposed to be outside exercising. 

Bob Wischer 1:04:48
Yeah, right. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:49
Gun is like, you know, it doesn't matter. 

Bob Wischer 1:04:50
Not when you're married. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:51
Yeah, he's I. Shady Scrooge had to do it. So we went out there and he we he said we're we're going to do 13 miles like. 

Sure you have 

Bob Wischer 1:05:05
Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 1:05:05
canteens 

Bob Wischer 1:05:05
right. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:05
for all that. And Sudan in shorts. We had gear on. And the way he did it, we would. We would start off marching, get up to a jog, start running, slow down the pace, then walk in and stop. Do. 

Bob Wischer 1:05:20
So it was that cadence 

Rich Bennett 1:05:21
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 1:05:22
that. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:22
And then pick it back up again. And I don't think anybody fell out. But it was. It was good. It felt good. Would I do it now? Not a shot in hell, Bear. If I could, I would. 

Bob Wischer 1:05:38
The last time I ran 13, 13, ran 13 miles. I did. I did a half marathon back in 2019. And if it messed my knees up and my feet up so bad that I can't, I really can't run anymore, I, I run very small distances now at a very, very slow pace. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:56
Yeah, I'm the same way from here to the mailbox. 

Bob Wischer 1:05:59
I'll. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:59
And that's actually right out my front door. 

Bob Wischer 1:06:01
Actually last last Saturday as part of my F3 workout, we did we did one lap around the track around the football. So 400 metres. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:08
Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 1:06:09
And that and that know my my my heart rate was pretty kick and after that one lap and that's. That's about as far as I went. And then we proceeded to do a bunch of other stuff for about 30 minutes after that, which. It was a challenging, too, but but it felt really good. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:25
Well, you gave me encouragement, number one, to get out there hiking again because my wife's been asked to go. 

Bob Wischer 1:06:31
Love. I can. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:33
I. I just need a good pair hiking boots. 

Bob Wischer 1:06:36
Yeah, those are. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:36
I don't want to do it in sneakers. Which. Yeah, Yeah. 

Bob Wischer 1:06:39
I'll get a nice pair of hiking boots. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:41
We have a lot of places around here where, you know, where we can go hiking. So I'm definitely. 

Bob Wischer 1:06:47
I didn't ask you. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:48
Oh, man. 

Bob Wischer 1:06:48
Okay. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:48
Maryland. Yeah, right on to Chesapeake Bay. 

Bob Wischer 1:06:51
Nice. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:52
Yeah. So it's like, you know, you go, phew, a couple of hours to the beach. Actually, not even a couple of hours because we've got little beaches. Here you go. A couple of hours to the mountains. 

Bob Wischer 1:07:04
I. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:04
It's like we're everywhere. Got our good old snakehead fish. We can. 

That's another story. So, Bob, 

Bob Wischer 1:07:12
Here 

Rich Bennett 1:07:12
thanks 

Bob Wischer 1:07:12
it. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:12
a lot. Bad. Ed Any time. 

Bob Wischer 1:07:14
Awesome. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:15
Anytime you want to come back. Open. MAN The door's open. 

Bob Wischer 1:07:18
All right. Thank you. Appreciate it. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:19
I take care. 

Bob Wischer 1:07:20
All right. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:21
Thank you for listening to the conversations with Rich Bennett. I hope you enjoy today's episode and learn something from it as I did. If you'd like to hear more conversations like this, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. And if you have a moment, I'd love if you could leave a review. It helps us reach more listeners and share more incredible stories. Don't forget to connect with us on social media or visit our website at conversations with Rich Bennett. Com for updates, giveaways and more. Until next time, take care. Be kind and keep the conversations going.