Master Stress and Anxiety with Dr. Gary Sprouse's Proven Methods

Rich Bennett 0:00
Thanks for joining the conversation, where we explore the stories and experiences that shape our world. I'm your host, Rich Bennett. And today, I'm thrilled to welcome Dr. Gary Strauss, a retired primary care physician from the Eastern shore of Maryland. With over three decades of experience. Known as the less stressed doc. God, I love that Dr. Sprouse has dedicated his career to helping patients reduce stress and find happiness. Let that sink in. He's been helping patients reduce stress and find happiness. His new book, Highway to Your Happy Place A Roadmap to Less Stress, offers innovative strategies and tools to manage stress and improve overall well-being. How are you doing, Dr. Sprouse? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 0:49
I am freaking awesome. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 0:51
So we talked a little bit before we started recording, but your book to me, should go hand in hand with another book. And I want your thoughts about this because something that helped me and you've you've listened to some of my episodes, so you may have heard me mention it before because I went through anxiety, depression, it was even suicidal. A book that helped me a lot was The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 1:22
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:23
I believe your book and that book should be hand in hand because you know hers about aligning yourself with the law of attraction, the power of positivity. And with you helping to re stress or reduce stress and find that happy place, it just to me, it makes sense. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 1:42
I agree. That's why I started this thing called the Happy Place, decided just for that reason. Because if I can put everybody in that room that wants to be in a happy place, then we're all more likely to get there. It's hard to get there by yourself. So 

Rich Bennett 1:55
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 1:55
you were in there with a group and way, way, way easier to do it. 

Rich Bennett 1:59
What actually inspired you to write the book? And if you don't mind, how did your personal experiences influence the content of the book? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 2:08
Well, so so the original idea of the book came from I worked on this tool called Stratosphere, which is a tool like is in a Venn diagram. And if you put information into and you get new insights and the new insight was, Hey, here's a way that we have a brain that's very similar to a monkeys brain or an ape brain, and yet way we're like way different. And so what this model showed me was, here's a brain and here's how you can get a mind from your brain. And so now you can start separating out. This is a mind problem. This is a brain problem. And so when I started looking at that, I was like, wait, let me get this straight. So I'm a doctor, so I'm used to giving people medications and saying, Hey, here's this really good medicine for your blood pressure and it's going to help, but it might have some side effects. So when I started looking at our mind skills, like we can envision the future, we can make choices as we have right and wrong. We have good and bad. When I started looking at our mind skills, I was like, Oh, wait a second, Our mind skills have side effects. And so what I realized was the majority of human stresses are actually side effects to our skills. So I look at my dog, Zoe, and she and I are watching TV together, watching the news, and I'm freaking out. We're watching humans blow up things and Russia and Ukraine and we're worried about China. And my dog's job is just laying around the floor, just having a good time. I'm like. 

Rich Bennett 3:29
Just chilling out. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 3:30
That's right. Are you not worried? Well, it turns out that she can't worry because she can't envision a future. So she can't work, so she can't have that side effect. I can worry because I have that skill and the side effect. So the idea of the book became out to say, how do we keep our skills and lose the side effect? Because too many people. 

Rich Bennett 3:51
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 3:51
Well, just live for today and you're like, if you're a human, it's impossible to do that. We spend way too much time in the future. It's impossible to live for today in Second Life. Why would I want to give up my great skill? Because it has a side effect. How about get rid of the side effect? 

Rich Bennett 4:07
Yeah. Yeah. And I hate that term live for today. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 4:11
I. 

Rich Bennett 4:11
What's wrong? What's wrong with you? What's wrong with living for tomorrow? In the future? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 4:15
I wanted to coin this term where I go. I want to live in all three tenses. I want to be able to live in my past and enjoy what happened and not feel 

Rich Bennett 4:22
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 4:23
guilt and regret. I want to live in the future, not worry. And I want to be able to be in the present. Have a good time. Right. And in my book. Yeah, you can do that. 

Rich Bennett 4:32
Yeah, sure. With you. Cause when we were talking, you said. What? That I can't be right. 30 years as a doctor. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 4:38
38 years. 

Rich Bennett 4:40
38 years as 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 4:41
Five? 

Rich Bennett 4:43
I was. I was going to 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 4:44
No. 

Rich Bennett 4:44
see that. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 4:45
7 a.m.. I'll be 68 in September. 

Rich Bennett 4:48
Really? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 4:49
I'm old man. 

I will take it when I retire. Right. I retired at the end of last year and I used to wrestle when I was in high school and college. And so I call up the local high school team and I say, Hey, would you guys mind if I came down to wrestle with you and are like, Yeah, yeah, come on down. So I'm like, So I'm getting my gear and my work. Do you know who you are? Like, what's that? I didn't want to. Come on, honey. Other than kicking butt for a few minutes. 

Rich Bennett 5:17
Age is nothing but a number, right? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 5:18
But I got to tell you, this is the funniest story. So I come back out of practice and I got mad burns and my shoulder hurts. I got to get some kneepads and headgear. Right? So I go on Amazon, I get my headgear, and I go, Hey, if you got Hey, you an iPad? Yeah. You want some sweats? Yeah. Hey, do you want a singlet? I was like, Oh, yeah, I definitely want to see. So I got the thing. I had the big American eagle on the chest and USA down the sled and my wife. 

Rich Bennett 5:43
Oh, nice. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 5:44
I'm insane, right? So I get and I go to pull it on. I'm like, I'm pulling, I'm struggling and stretch. You're over my head. Like, my wife and I just lost, like, £35. I'm like, with that. And I'm like, getting all upset and I get out of my ways. I'm like, Okay, this isn't getting on. This is 

Rich Bennett 5:58
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 5:58
like I get off and then I look and it's a junior. Size is for little kids. And I'm like, Oh. 

Rich Bennett 6:04
Oh, God. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 6:05
Now my perspective change. I'm like, Oh, I was able to get this out of my way. Oh, yeah. 

Fortunately, nobody was videotaping that scene. 

Rich Bennett 6:18
Oh, God, no. Now you just got. Now tell her you're going to go ahead and wrestle with WWE when they come 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 6:24
Absolutely 

Rich Bennett 6:24
around. You're just going to 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 6:25
right. 

Rich Bennett 6:25
do a dark match. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 6:27
We, my wife and I do karaoke. So we went to karaoke that night and she's checking my shirt and I'm like, What are you doing? She goes, I want to make sure you didn't have that singlet on. 

Guys, crazy. 

Rich Bennett 6:42
We. I made the mistake. I don't want to say it was a mistake because I had fun. But recently I decided to get out there and play ball and have a water gun battle with a bunch of young people younger than me and kids. Oh, God. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 6:59
Uh huh. 

Rich Bennett 6:59
I was a curtain pop lady. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 7:01
They. 

Rich Bennett 7:01
Well, that was really unusual for my wife. You won't do that? No, I probably will do it again because it was fun. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 7:09
A. 

Rich Bennett 7:09
But I promise I can not run like I used to. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 7:12
When I play basketball every Thursday night just for that reason, so I can stay in shape. So it's like, yeah, so I've we play with some there's some people that are my age, but a lot more people that are younger. And it's like, yeah, keep up for the most part. Okay, I do it my mind, right? 

Rich Bennett 7:28
Something I need to do is get up and start walking around. Sitting in the chair all the time doing these podcasts, it's just not good for me. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 7:34
Yeah, they. 

Rich Bennett 7:36
May be good for my mind because I'm learning a lot 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 7:38
They 

Rich Bennett 7:38
of 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 7:38
make. 

Rich Bennett 7:38
physical. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 7:39
They make portable microphones and video streams. 

Rich Bennett 7:43
Guys. You sound like my voice now. 

So with this 38 years as a doctor and then you retire, you wrote the book. What what was the most challenging part? Because this is the first book you wrote, right? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 8:01
Wow. 

Rich Bennett 8:02
So. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 8:02
So I've been. So the ideas of Stratosphere came to me, like, 25, 30 years ago. So I started writing the book then. So I've been the project has been going on for a long time, and I tried to get a publisher and I wasn't able to. And and then I kind of put it on the back burner because I was busy as a doctor. I mean, I kept reading, I kept using information that I share in my patients, and it kept writing the book became sort of like a hobby where it's like it's this distraction that is really fun. And it made me a better doctor. So as the more I did with this book, the more the more I read, the more the better doctor I became. I used the ideas from the book and my practice in a one on one setting. But then about three years ago, I attended a 

Tony Robbins seminar and he's like, So tell me what your limiting belief is and really what it came down to. About 75% of me thought I'd be a good author, but 25% of me is like, you know, Who are you full on? You're just the primary care doctor on the eastern shore of Maryland. What are you you know, who are you following? Right. So during that seminar, I was able to get rid of that piece. And so that was like I came away from that going, I need to make this book and get it done. And then that became the priority. And so then over the next two or three years, the book got finished, finished writing it, but then you had to get it to an editor and then you have to get impoverished and now it's been published. So the first time you go on Amazon, you see your book, you're like, Well, yeah, that's right, yeah. So now, now my job is to get it in people's hands because I see way too many people that are stressed out. And I. Inigo, I'm writing a book on how to have less stress. And they go, I need that book. And I go, But there's been thousands of books. Did you not get one of those? I make that my book. Yeah. Right. But it's like, don't resign yourself to being stressed out. There's ways to not be stressed out. 

Rich Bennett 9:54
See, you're the expert. That's why you're the less stressed stock. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 9:57
That's me, man. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 9:59
The. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 10:01
Somebody is delaying something I wrote in the other day. I'm getting a little upset. Like, please don't make me get out of my happy place. Right? And their workers. They wrote back, We don't want to get out of your happy place. Okay. We'll get it done. 

Rich Bennett 10:14
You mentioned Tony Robbins. The seminar, was it the one day seminar or was it the one that was a few days? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 10:19
This is a four day seminar. We do fire walk ins the. 

Rich Bennett 10:22
I was going to ask you about that. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 10:24
Did. Have you ever done This is the create. 

Rich Bennett 10:26
No, but not 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 10:28
Any 

Rich Bennett 10:28
yet. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 10:28
seminar like you go there and here's the agenda. I'm going to start at 11. That's it. That's the agenda. Like we want, like, when's dinner? When's lunch? And they tell you, No, you're going to have to dismiss that and go, If you have to go to the bathroom where he didn't just go because we're going to keep gone at this. It started 11 right at 1:00 in the morning. He's taking 9000 people out to the parking lot to walk on fire. And you're like, come on, 1:00 in the morning and nobody's complaining. We're like wide awake. So at 3:00 in the morning, I'm getting to bed after I've walked on 25 feet. In fact, when I get to the fire walking, they they said, Oh, these are cool. Offering to put some new ones on. Like, really? Thanks. Right. But the next day he comes back, he goes, So you guys are walking on fire. He goes, You came to his conference not thinking you could do that. What other things do you think you can't do that you can. And you're like, Oh, that's a really good point, right? 

Rich Bennett 11:26
Yeah, I had I had a gentleman on that actually worked for Tony Robbins. And now he actually does it. He goes around doing the fire walk and. Dave Alvin. And he too. I didn't realize Tony Robbins seminar included that. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 11:41
Yeah, well, I'm not. I mean, not every one of them does, but that. 

Rich Bennett 11:44
Right. It's the four day. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 11:46
Some of the things that he's doing now, like breaking boards and a couple other things he does now, 

Rich Bennett 11:49
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 11:49
but. Because the virus takes a lot of logistics, right? You got to you got 9000 people. You got 25 fire pits. My wife was like. 

Rich Bennett 11:58
Then they started doing 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 11:59
A neighboring parking garage. The fire alarm went off because there was so much smoke and it was like, 

Rich Bennett 12:05
Wow. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 12:06
you know, 3:00 in the morning. And this fire alarms are beeping off because there's so much smoke coming out. 

Rich Bennett 12:13
I think the guy told me if, like, if the weather's bad instead of fire, they'll do the broken glass. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 12:19
Right, but. Oh, really? It just. 

Rich Bennett 12:21
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 12:22
I didn't know that. 

Rich Bennett 12:22
Yeah. Yeah, I'd rather. I think I'd rather do the fire, 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 12:28
It was. 

Rich Bennett 12:28
but. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 12:29
Good stuff. 

Rich Bennett 12:30
The way I was explained it, it's like it takes away a lot of your fears. I don't know if it takes away your fears, but it helps you face your fears better. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 12:39
Well, it tells you. 

Rich Bennett 12:40
Good. How was 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 12:40
Well, 

Rich Bennett 12:40
your walker? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 12:40
I think the point that you make is you think you couldn't do it and then you couldn't. 

Rich Bennett 12:44
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 12:45
There's lots of things. He calls them limiting beliefs. And that's one of the limiting beliefs, is people think there's nothing they can do about their stress. And here I am. The less stressed that saying, no, that is not true. Get that out of your head. 

Rich Bennett 12:58
Actually the happy place. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 13:01
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 13:01
So how do you actually define a happy place and what are its key components? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 13:06
Well, this is so interesting, right? So I would say to my patients, they would go, Hey, we want to read your book on how to have less stress. And I go, Well, if you had less stress, where would you be? And they looked at me like, I don't know, I never got that far. And I just thought about having less stress. And then it made me think, Oh, what's on the other side of the river? From the stressed out side? What's on the other side? So that's when I came up with this idea of a happy place. And what I realized is that the happy place has rooms. Everybody has the same rooms, you know, bedroom, bathroom, whatever. The furniture might be different or their paintings might be different, or the color of the walls might be different, but the rooms are the same. Right? So the rooms are there is the first one is feeling contentment. And that's just sort of like this balance between good and bad in your life. And so there's sort of a baseline to people that have and it's like that's really kind of stay it's their baseline. 

Rich Bennett 13:59
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 13:59
It can change by their perceptions. It can change with things going on in their life. But there's sort of baseline that goes along. And then the second room is pleasure. And so we all have things that happen that are pleasurable to us. Right. I, I go play basketball. My wife and I do karaoke. My grandson, Gisborne, my granddaughter gets married. Right. Graduate my books on Amazon or whatever, but those are temporary. Like they come and get company, so they there's a bump in your contentment level, but then it goes back down to where it was before, over time. Then the third room is anticipating pleasure and this is the corner. So humans have the ability to envision the future, right? So my wife and I are going to go on vacation at the end of this year and it's like I'm thinking about how fun that's going to be now. And when I think about that, I'm like, Oh, this is going to be so much fun, blah, blah, right? And on my in my dreams, there's never anything that goes wrong, right? Like we're going to get on the plane or we're going to get on the ship. There's not going to be any illnesses like nobody's going to get hurt. Come back. Right. So I can do. I can anticipate pleasure for months. Years. Right. The fourth one is then gratitude. And this is one I hear. I hear a lot. Right. So gratitude. And I think we don't take it far enough. So I tell people, when you get up in the morning, you should be thanking somebody. That you're awake, that your eyes opened up and that you're safe and that there's food in your refrigerator and there's water running and your wife is safe. And it's like, I get 50 points just for waking up right? And it's like you got to because a lot of people wake up and I'm still here another day. Like, No, you should be excited that you have all these amazing things in your life. And then the next one is fulfillment. 

Vermin is made up. And so what I see are people can be really rich or be really successful and not feel fulfilled. And that's critical. 

Rich Bennett 15:49
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 15:49
So fulfillment is learning, which I'm hearing from you, is you learn a lot, right? We're very curious organisms, so learning is a fun thing to do and we've made it a pleasurable thing to do in our brain too is giving. So giving to other people same thing. We're an organism that's based on communal. And so we've made giving and learning in pleasurable things, so people get a lot out of it. And the third piece is then is having a purpose. And so I've had a purpose all my life. I wanted to be a doctor and now I want to be a successful author who helps people with their stress. That purpose gives me direction. It tells me how to make decisions. It makes my life so much easier when I know where it is, where I want to go right then the last room is the word I came up with called Cash. It's an an acronym, right? So it's an interesting. 

Rich Bennett 16:36
Ash. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 16:36
Cash. So it stands for connected because we all want to be connected. 

Rich Bennett 16:43
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 16:43
Accept it because we all want to have our the people around us accept us for who we are. We want to feel safe. That's the goal of every organism and we want to have hope. And so what I find is everybody needs cash and people with addictions need it even more because they've been shown. Ostracized and told they're broken and damaged in disease. 

Rich Bennett 17:04
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 17:05
And it's like, so they need cash even more. But we all need cash. So when you put all those rooms together, man, what a nice, happy place that is. 

Rich Bennett 17:14
It's a beautiful house. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 17:15
Yeah, right. 

Rich Bennett 17:17
I love that. One of the things because you use different tools and 

my wife gets upset at me about this because I 

when it comes to worrying. My thought is why worry about anything? Because it doesn't make anything better. It just if you worry about it, brings on the stress. 

One of your tools is the worry organizer. So can you explain how the tool works and share an example of how it has actually helped someone? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 17:51
Sure. So, well, what you're describing is what a lot of men and women do, because in general, not not every single woman, because I've seen the roles reversed. But one 

Rich Bennett 18:01
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 18:01
partner tends to be an exaggerator or a sharer. So they're like, oh, this is going on, this is going on. And they tend to exaggerate and, you know, make catastrophize, whatever They go, Oh, this going to happen is going to happen. They go, What if a lot. Right. 

Rich Bennett 18:15
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 18:15
And the other partners like, why? Why are you worried about that? It's not going to happen. And then so then their first partner's like, wait, I'm the one who has to do all the worrying. Why? Why is that? And then you end up in a fight and you're like, Wait, what? So the worry organizer is a way to take the fight out of that, because the first tool is realistic optimism. So realistic is what I'm going to focus on good things happening. But I have to be realistic because bad things could happen. But 

Rich Bennett 18:42
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 18:42
but I don't want to have fear. So what I want to do is be able to plan, but without fear. And that's where the worry organizer comes in. So the word organizer has five categories. So the first one, and I'll give it one of my patients. So she came into my office and she has that stress. I'm worried I'm going to have breast cancer. So the first categories, what are you worried about? I'm worried I might get breast cancer. So the next category is, well, why are you worried? And so she's like, so why are you worried about getting breast cancer? And she goes, Well, my sister and my mother both had breast cancer. I'm like, okay, well, that makes sense. Why you would worry then, right? 

Rich Bennett 19:19
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 19:20
So the third category, and this is the critical one for spouses that are on opposite ends of the coin is how likely is it to happen? How dangerous is it if it happens? Okay. So in her case, she said, well, there's a 100% chance that I'm going to get breast cancer. There's 

Rich Bennett 19:36
What? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 19:36
90% chance they're going to die from it. And I'm like, If that was accurate, then you just gave yourself a death sentence, right? You were going to die. And that's it, period, right? Because she had written because we went through it, I was able to say to her, now, okay, let me give you some different statistics. So it turns out in the literature, it says you have a family history of breast cancer. Your chances are 15%. And she's like, wait, 50%, not 100. Like No. 15. And I go, And because we're going to catch it early, your chances of surviving are 85%. So she went from 100% getting it 100% down to 15%, getting it in, 85% chance she's going to survive. Right. And it's. 

Rich Bennett 20:18
Wow. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 20:19
Yeah. So you could see I watched your whole body just change because 

Rich Bennett 20:23
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 20:23
you were alive back, right? So then the next category is, well, what can I do to make it not happen? That's where you can plan. But you don't have to have fear. And so you go, Oh, I can get a mammogram. I can do safe breast, I can, packaging, I can. And then the last category is, okay, what happens if I get breast cancer? What do I do? And again, planning without fear. So I go, okay, well, if I get breast cancer, I'm going to make sure I know what are the breast that's breast cancer doctor treatments and facility. 

Rich Bennett 20:51
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 20:52
I'm going to make sure my will set up. I'm going to make sure my sisters are going to take care of my kids, blah, blah, blah, blah. So then we wrote all that down. And when you write it down, then you only have to do it once it's all done, and then you can show it to your family, your friends and your doctors and say, Hey, is there anything else that I could be putting in? These categories? Are my statistics, right? Is there any other to do things I can do? Right? And when you wake up in the middle of the night freaking out, you can go, Oh, it's already written down. Unless I have something to add, I'm gonna go back to sleep because I don't need to do this anymore. So with your wife, you can go. So, like, here's what I hear a lot. I got. I want to get on a plane because I'm afraid is going to crash. And you, honey, is not going to crash. And she goes, There was just a plane crash last week, so don't tell me it can't crash. Right? So then you can go to that third category. Well, how likely is it? And the likely is one in a million, right? Maybe less. And then the answer is, well, how dangerous is it? Well, it's bad, right? If a plane crashes, most of the people die. Apparently not. All right. Because I look this up, right? A lot of plane crashes. Most people don't die. It's only the ones 

Rich Bennett 21:52
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 21:52
that let you know crash and, you know, like do something faulty in the air and they crash. But a lot of them are just taken off in a crash or just landing and they kind of roll. So. But now you're talking statistics. So now you're not arguing? Like I said, I do this with kids and parents. I got your kid comes, says I want to go to a concert. You're like, okay, I'm a little nervous about that, but all right, you're the chance you getting in trouble or less likely. And if you got in trouble, I could do something about it. Right? But then they go, Oh, yeah, but it's in another state like, wait, want another state? I don't think that way because. Because why? What? Change? You're still gone. Okay, But the 

Rich Bennett 22:29
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 22:29
injustice didn't change. But the what I can do about it changed. And so instead of calling your teenager snotty, ungrateful teenager, and you're just a jailing restrictive parent, like now you're statistics and you go, Hey, I just talked to the policeman in that state and here's the statistics and here's here's the likelihood and blah, blah, blah, blah. And now you're talking statistics instead of yelling at each other. 

Rich Bennett 22:52
A ginger she knew was the breast cancer when that you brought up because a lot of people right away they get their diagnosis they think it's a death sentence. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 23:05
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 23:06
A lot of people and I'm seeing this with guys that I served with in the Marine Corps that were stationed down at camp was, you know, I'm sure you heard about 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 23:14
Mm hmm. 

Rich Bennett 23:14
the French water down there. But a lot of the guys won't get checked. People that have diabetes that run in their family, they won't get checked every year. And that's one of the things I learned to do is I go to the doctor, get checked all the time. Oh, my God, I can't believe how it releases so much stress. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 23:37
Well, this is the problem that people get into with with and I get I see it as more men is they minimize the problem and they minimize it so much. They deny it's their. 

Rich Bennett 23:49
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 23:49
So then why would I didn't? That's not going to happen. Not going to happen to me. Like I see a smokers all the time. I. Wow, that guy could get lung cancer. But that's not going to happen to me. And you're like, Yeah, okay. All it takes is one chest X-ray and you got lung cancer. It's like. And then. 

Rich Bennett 24:04
Exactly. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 24:06
Yeah, that's, that's, that's why I call it realistic optimism. So I want you to be optimistic, but I want you to be realistic, too. So you can't just run around with your ghost colored glasses, but. 

Rich Bennett 24:19
Go ahead. I'm sorry. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 24:21
Well, one of the things that I found was when I say to people, tell me what worry is. They go, Oh, I got this because I know how to use the word in a sentence and I know what it feels like. But when they start trying to define it, it actually is really tricky to define. And they go and they come up with some superficial definition. And I go, Well, if that's your definition, how would you fix it? And they go, Oh, I don't know. Right. So my definition is worry is are using our incredible skills of envisioning the future, focusing on all the bad things that can happen, and then having fear right now. And that's where the problem comes in. So you can. So. So the antidote then is, look, you know, focus on the good things that can happen, which then make you feel good right now, but plan for the bad things, but without fear. 

Rich Bennett 25:06
Yeah, you always got to play him. Because if I think of you playing for it, the solution will become a lot easier because every problem has a solution. At least I believe. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 25:19
You are correct in that fear doesn't usually help you solve a problem. 

Rich Bennett 25:24
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 25:25
And that's 

Rich Bennett 25:25
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 25:25
what your wife like. Being afraid doesn't really solve the problem. In fact, it does the opposite, because when you're afraid, it makes it harder to think because it's hijacking your brain. And so 

Rich Bennett 25:35
Mm hmm. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 25:35
so when you're planning without fear and then it goes a lot easier, but it looks like you're not invested. So there's a book I read called The Worry Check. And in the book he talks about what if, what if this happened? What if that happens? What is this? And people think that by worrying, they're putting energy in to solving the problem. And when they see somebody who's not worrying, then they go, why are you not putting any energy into this? And I've had this discussion my whole life, and I go, Look, honey, I'm spending just as much energy you are, but I'm spending my energy solving the problem, not worrying about it, not having fear. 

Rich Bennett 26:06
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 26:08
It doesn't always go that well, by the way. But I do bring that. 

Rich Bennett 26:11
No. So for the longest and this is the other thing I think a lot of people are missing out on so much when they worry about things. For years, I would not fly because I had a bad experience in 1995 and said I would never get on a plane again. And this past February, I finally got on a plane again. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 26:35
Really? 

Rich Bennett 26:36
Flu. Yeah, flu. So two fears. A face to my fears flying on a plane and bridges. Because I had a nightmare that my father and I ran off the side of a bridge. Yeah. So February, we flew down to New Orleans. 

Flight was no problem at all. I was fine with it. You know, I mean. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 26:57
What made you get over your fear? What made you do that? 

Rich Bennett 27:01
My wife's cousin was getting married, and I consider her like a niece, and she lives down there. It's like, I can't miss. I have to go. And my sister's a flight attendant for Southwest. And there's so many things I missed out on, like, you know, just she wanted me to go to Florida, fly to Florida one day just to have lunch of our uncle and then fly back that day. I was like, Nope, no. Until the seat cushions double as a parachute. Forget it. I'm not doing it. And supposed to take my son to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame several years ago. Didn't do it. And if I. You know what 

was the worst can happen? Yeah, the plane crash. But I could be like Bugs Bunny and jump at the door for this. The. 

It's just. It's this. My thing was if it dies, if something happens, it's my time. No biggie. But if I don't, I'm going to miss her wedding. And I don't want to do it. So I looked at that, you know, what am I going to miss? I'm going to miss that. I don't want and I've never been in New Orleans. I wanted to try the food. Check out some music. So I started looking at the positive things. Had no problem. However, what I did not realize it till they told me when we were going down there because we flew down on Super Bowl Sunday. 

Her other cousins live across the lake, so we had to drive across that 23 mile. Your head's. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 28:35
It's a really long bridge. Yeah, I like. 

Rich Bennett 28:37
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 28:38
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 28:38
So I was not driving. I sat at the back seat, but I did it. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 28:42
Two years I want. I'm proud of you. 

Rich Bennett 28:44
Yes. But the funny thing is. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 28:47
Well, you have to understand what fear was designed to do, right? So fear is what we call an emotion. And this is pushbutton preprogrammed neural management. So like, the button goes off and this whole reaction occurs and we call it fear. But fear was designed to protect us. It was designed to say, I don't know what that noise was. I don't know whether it was a lion or a tiger, but I'm getting the heck out of here and I'm running away or I'm hiding in the corner. Right? So the problem with what humans have, because we worry is there is no lion. The lion and tiger are just in our head. They're not they're running after us. So there's a book called Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers and Zebras when They're Hanging around. Right. It's a great book, actually. 

Rich Bennett 29:29
I just love the title. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 29:30
Oh, yeah, It's a great title. Right here, zebras. And they're munching on grass and just relaxing. And one of them smells a lion. And it alerts everybody and they all take off running because that's what they're designed to do. But when they get far enough away that they can't smell the line anymore, then they relax and they go back to eating grass. But for humans, we go, Is that a line? Is that a bear? I don't know. And you run away, right? But it's still there. You're like, Oh my God, what if it came back? What if What if I had my leg? What? Like you can what if 

Rich Bennett 30:00
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 30:00
forever? And there's nothing to make it stop because it's in your head like it hasn't happened, so there's no reality that can go away to make it stop. So that's why I wrote a book to help people. Because it's like that you're danger to tag your is going crazy. It's gone off when there's nothing going on and it's like we have to get the danger detector under control because you're exactly right. It keeps you from doing things. And I see so many people limit themselves because of fear. And you're right, your danger detector's gone off. But it's not. It's a false alarm. It's your fire alarm. You know, it's like you smoked detectors, like you wake up at two in the morning and. Right. You're looking for the smoke and there's not an air like, Oh, yeah, it's the battery. So I tell people like, look, you're the danger detector's gone off, but it's not a it's a false alarm. So just change the battery. Go back to sleep. 

Rich Bennett 30:52
Oh, yeah. Yeah. And now. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 30:55
The review said that. 

Rich Bennett 30:56
My wife created a monster. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 30:57
Bravery. Bravery as I have fear, but I overcome and I just do it anyway. So good for you. 

Rich Bennett 31:03
But now I'm ready to fly everywhere. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 31:04
I bet you are right. Once you get it, once you break the barrier, like, Yeah, let's do it. 

Rich Bennett 31:08
My cousins in England were like, okay, well, now you can come over. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 31:11
Yes, absolutely. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 31:13
Let me see what the money for that. 

Actually, your book includes several testimonials from patients 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 31:21
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 31:21
who actually have benefited from your advice and methods. Is there a particular story that stands out to you that you can. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 31:29
Yeah, actually. So I'm just getting ready to do a seminar actually tomorrow for about 15 people. And we're going to talk about some of the book stuff. So I was talking to one of the people who read the book as a good friend of mine, and she goes, I just wanted to let you know that after I read your book, I decided I'm going to take control of my life. I'm like, okay. And she goes, So I sold my 4000 square foot home and I bought a small bungalow for cash near the beach. And now I go to the beach four or five days a week and just hang out. And I'm like, Wow. Like, I wasn't expecting that. That sounds freaking awesome. I go, You need to come. So she's coming to my seminar to give her testimony because she said, Look, I'm living in my happy place. Mean, I enjoy going to the beach. I've decided that all these things that were sticking to me like Velcro don't need to be stuck to me. And I have choices. I can control my life. I can't always stop what happens to me, but I can control how I react to it. And I'm like, I'm not unique. I'm like, get teared up. And I'm like, You need to come and talk in my seminar. So she's coming up. 

Rich Bennett 32:27
Wow. So and you just mentioned that because you're speaking. I did. Before we started, you said you're going to be doing some TED talks as well. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 32:38
I'm working it, so I'm working on a TED talk. So I hired a consultant to help me do it. Right. Right. So 

Rich Bennett 32:45
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 32:45
I did the first one and he was like, Change, do that, blah. So I did it the second time and he had tears in his eyes and I'm like, Oh, now this is the guy who that's his job is to hear Ted talk. So I've got him tears in his eyes. Then we're gone in the right direction. So what he's told me is my TED talk is ready. Now I just need to find a TEDx conference that will accept me because it's not easy to get a TED talk. There's like 300 applicants for 15 spots or, like, I was just 

Rich Bennett 33:12
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 33:12
one day, just had one in D.C., and I went out and talked to the organizer and he's like, Yeah, we don't really take applicants. We kind of get together and figure out who we want to ask. You're like, Okay. Then I got to know who the who the people are on the board and get to know somebody. So they'll ask me. 

Rich Bennett 33:30
Well with that because you have ten strokes and then you have the TED talks. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 33:34
Well, I said, Ted is that's the one. I think it's in England somewhere. The TED Act is anywhere else. 

Rich Bennett 33:40
Right. Can you actually start your own TED Talk series? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 33:46
But that's a lot of work, right? Everything's for 

Rich Bennett 33:50
Well, 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 33:50
free 

Rich Bennett 33:50
yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 33:51
areas, like anybody who's organizing and they don't get paid to, speakers don't get paid. 

Rich Bennett 33:55
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 33:55
So only people I get paid are the technicians that are in film and all this. And the money comes from sponsors and from people coming. So the one I was at probably had a thousand people attending this, like they could have listened to it online like a month from now, but they were like, No, is worth going to see it because it's so different when you're there in person. 

Rich Bennett 34:15
Well, that and like Tony Robbins, you went there and a lot of people like to talk to the speakers afterwards. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 34:21
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 34:22
Sue. I don't know if you were able to do that, Tony, or not. Now. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 34:26
I was in, there was like 7000 people in the main room and we were in the side room. So we weren't even in the same room with him because we were in a room with 2000 people and just watching him on a big screen. But. 

Rich Bennett 34:37
Okay. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 34:37
When there's 9000 people, he adds, It's. 

Rich Bennett 34:40
Kind of hard. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 34:41
Kind of hard, right? I did. I do. I do. I want him to have my book right, because I'm like, this would dovetail in with what he's doing and I want to get my book in his hands. So whoever was calling me to get me to come to this conference, I was like, I'll come if you get my book in his hands, because apparently he likes to read. I'm like, Here's a book. Read this book right? I got to thinking. I got to think big, right? 

Rich Bennett 35:03
Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that at all with your book. And I don't know if you've come across any patients or anything 

with this, but in today's world with social media, you see stress is just 

sky high off the charts. CO became 

teens, you know that class. Mental health was on a rise. 

Explain if you can't explain to everybody because I believe it. Well, I know it. It can. How your book can help them. But more importantly, because this is a problem that a lot of parents have is trying to get their teens or young adults to read this. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 35:55
The book. Yeah. Wow. 

Rich Bennett 35:56
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 35:57
So here's what I've seen, Right? 

Rich Bennett 35:59
Mm hmm. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 36:00
If is like 50 years ago, if there was a war, you got to read about it. You were editing newspaper, right? Maybe you heard it on TV and they might have a picture here or there. Still picture and but now. We're a visual organism. We 80% of our information comes through our eyes. So now we are inundated with these horrendous pictures in real time. So I am watching bombs go off in Ukraine. I am watching hostages being killed in in Israel. I am hearing I'm seeing a Russian submarine in Cuba and you're like 

Rich Bennett 36:37
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 36:37
and it's 24 seven. There is a football player that when we heard about him, punched his girlfriend in the face, he got a two game suspension and we were like, Oh, that wasn't very good. That was kind of he shouldn't have done that. When we saw the video of him punching her in the face. He never played football ever again. 

Rich Bennett 36:56
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 36:56
Because the impact is so much more. And that's what's happening to us is that we're so 24 seven news, a video of all the worst things that are happening in the world. And then we have these movies. Movies have gotten so amazing that it's hard to tell what's real and what's not. 

Rich Bennett 37:14
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 37:16
And they're always picking conflicts that are like, Oh, the world is being taken over. There's a virus that we can't stop or some. An asteroid is going to destroy our planet. All of these are stoking our fear because and here's the rule. As an organism, we have to keep our environment safe. But our environment right now is not just where I'm sitting. It's my whole town is my state, is my country. It's the earth, it's the universe. And now it's the universe forever. Because the future's in there, too, because that's part of my environment. So when I'm trying to keep all that safe and I got people to remind me all those bad things that can happen to me with video going, Look at this, this could happen to you. You're like, Oh, right. So. So one of the things you have to do and people do this on their own is like, watch, don't read about the news. Don't necessarily watch the news. 

Rich Bennett 38:08
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 38:08
Or if you're going to watch it, limit yourself. Don't watch it 24 seven, watch a half hour, get the gist and then move on. Right. Because the more you're watching, it's building up that anxiety inside of you. Because the rule is, I think when I wrote my book. If there is ten people in the room trying to give me $1,000 a piece, I'd be like, Well, that's really nice, right? But if there's one guy in the corner with a machine gun, guess who I'm paying attention to? I could miss all ten people give me $1,000. But if I miss the guy in the corner and machinegun. Yeah, that's not good, right? So our bodies are set up to pay attention to the dangerous things in our environment. But we don't have to do that exclusively, particularly when we're white effing and we're not looking into the future. So I tell people, focus on the good things around you, but plan on that machine gun in the corner. Right? So. 

Rich Bennett 39:00
Yeah. It just it's so it can be frustrating because, you know, as parents, we try everything we can to help, you know, whether it be anxiety, depression. But it's just 

I don't know. I think social media is just a big problem because you're always seeing all the negative stuff 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 39:23
Yeah. Well. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 39:24
on 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 39:24
So. 

Rich Bennett 39:24
the. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 39:25
So. 

Rich Bennett 39:25
Just like the. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 39:26
As a parent is build up your kid's self-esteem. Right. And. 

Rich Bennett 39:29
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 39:30
Sure that their resilience make sure they can handle like if somebody is bullying them. You can try and get the bully to stop, but you can also give them the skills to figure out how to deal with the bully right. 

What I find is a lot of social media is actually a stress reducing. It's a stress reducing tool. It gives them something to do so they don't get bored and it gives 

Rich Bennett 39:51
Oh, 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 39:51
them a way to connect with other people. So there's really good things that go along with social media, but it has side effects, which is what you're talking. 

Rich Bennett 39:58
right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 39:58
So people can do it too long and that's when they their stress reducer starts causing stress because now they're on their phone 18 hours a day and their parents are young. AB and their school grades are going down. You're like, It's okay that you want to connect with your friends. That's a good thing, but you're doing too much of it. The stress reducer, you're starting to cause stress. So we need to figure out another way to make this, to handle this. 

Rich Bennett 40:21
So for those people listening 

who are feeling overwhelmed, they don't know where to start their journey. You know, to reduce and stress. What advice would you give them? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 40:34
Yeah. So this is where I call that my shoe box. I'm going to do this demonstration and. So if you walk into a room and there's 100 shoeboxes and they're all over the place, the shoes are here, the left there, the right there, the papers here, the lids, there are 100 of them. And you just spread around the room. You would walk into that room freaking out, right? But if you walk into that same room. But now the shoes are in the box and the papers in there and the lids are on and they're shoved up in a closet and they're all this and there's just the same amount of shoeboxes. But now they're all organized. Well, that's not overwhelming at all. It's a lot of shoes. But that's not a. 

Rich Bennett 41:10
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 41:11
And where people get overwhelmed is when they and this is the word I use, they lump. And I'm sure you've done this because I know I've done Eli. Well, I got this and then this and then. Oh, yeah, and that. Ah, I forgot about. Then you throw something else on top and you're like, you end up with this pile of stuff that you're like, you don't even want to start. They go, Huh? Right. So what I talk about is, is compartmentalization. That's where the shoeboxes comes in. So I tell people think in terms of shoeboxes, have your hundred shoeboxes, but the more on the wall and you take one shoebox down at a time, you open the lid, you look at the shoes, you put it back. Then you take the next one down. The more you keep these problems separate, the less overwhelming it gets, because no one of these problems tends to be overwhelming. It's only when you let them all lump together that you get into trouble. 

Rich Bennett 41:57
Hmm. Yeah, I've done that long thing a lot. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 42:00
Yeah. No, we all do. Right. I. 

Rich Bennett 42:02
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 42:03
Well, now say, like, Gary, you're lumping like, Oh, yeah, right. Sorry. And it makes a difference because when you go, okay, even if the problems are related, the more separate you can keep them, the less overwhelming they get. And when you get over one, there's a thing called a S-curve 

Rich Bennett 42:17
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 42:18
where you have one or two problems, you're under control. A third problem comes along. Now you're like, you go right up this line and you're out of control. And then it adds a fourth problem, which is you're feeling overwhelmed. So all I got to do is get rid of one of those problems. It doesn't even matter which one. Just one of them. 

Rich Bennett 42:33
Right? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 42:33
And then bang, I'm back into control. How easy is that? So when I see patients that are overwhelmed, I go, Look, all we gotta do is get rid of one problem. I don't care which problem it is, but just get rid of one and you'll feel much better just doing that. And you don't necessarily need medication, because what I find is a lot of people that are overwhelmed are diagnosed 

Rich Bennett 42:51
Mm hmm. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 42:52
with depression. And then they get put on medicine for their depression. So I had an older gentleman come in my office, kids actually brought him, and he was in the eighties. And his kids are worried and like, we were dad's depressed and you're like whining as well. I get angry and he's yelling at my wife is my wife who's gotten a little dementia. And and I'm so I'm talking to him. He's like, Doc, I don't feel sad. I guess I'm just frustrated that I can't do what I used to be able to do. And my wife's getting dementia, so she can't answer the questions and handle the problems like, I'm just frustrated, right? Yeah, you sound overwhelmed. You just got too much going on and you saw him, like, lighten up. He's like, I don't have a permanent abnormality in my brain chemistry that I need to take a medicine for the rest of my life. Like, now. You got too many problems going on, Like you're grieving the loss of your wife because she's losing her mind, right? She's becoming dementia. You're losing your you're grieving the loss of your own skills. Now, you can't walking down the steps by yourself. You're getting frustrated because your kids keep bugging you about taking over your checkbook. And so she started solving some of the problems or at least addressing the problem and separating them out then is like his life got way better. 

Rich Bennett 44:01
Wow. Wow. So with 

your book, 

is it also an audio? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 44:13
Wow. Okay, so it's coming, right? So I already did it. I dictated in March and. And I'm still waiting for it to be finished. So they're editing it and in there engineering it. And so the first couple of chapters have been done, so I'm waiting for the rest of it to be done. And then as soon as soon as they're as long as soon as their process is done, then it'll be available on audiobook because. 

Rich Bennett 44:37
So you're. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 44:38
Biggest growing segment of our population is audiobooks. 

Rich Bennett 44:42
Oh, I love listening 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 44:43
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 44:44
to audiobooks. But you're doing the voiceover yourself. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 44:46
I did. Yeah. And. 

Rich Bennett 44:48
Good. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 44:48
Yeah, And I learned that. Well, what I've heard from my mentors is like that people want to know who you are. They don't want some generic 

Rich Bennett 44:55
Mm hmm. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 44:55
guy reading the book. They want you. So I'm like, Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 44:58
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 44:58
yeah. I went right, and I went to a Shakespeare play, right? And it was a guy playing King Lear. And the guy's voice, we're sitting in the audience and he starts talking. His voice is so deep and resonant. And I'm looking at my writing. I want that guy to do my book. Right. I. 

Yeah. Anyway, but then I decided now. Yeah, it costs a lot of money and I haven't read a book, so I decided. 

Rich Bennett 45:22
I was going to I was going to say, because if anybody if if everybody had a choice for some guy to read their book, I guarantee you probably 90% of the people would say micro. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 45:35
Okay. I'm not to that. Not in Iran. 

Rich Bennett 45:38
You really 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 45:39
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 45:39
have? You are you remember the show? Oh, God. Dirty Jobs or Deadliest Catch? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 45:49
Now that I've heard. 

Rich Bennett 45:50
Or Deadliest Catch. Mike Rowe does ordinary. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 45:53
Okay. 

Rich Bennett 45:53
Two. It was. I don't know if he's. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 45:55
There's a couple of people out there. Their voices are just amazing, right? It Not amazing, 

Rich Bennett 45:59
Voice. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 45:59
but I would tell I have listened to the to the engineering and my voice sounds much better when they engineer it up. So it sounds good. 

Rich Bennett 46:07
Oh, yeah. All the different things they can do to speaking of voices, because you you surprised me when we were talking before we started recording. You started something else, then you a podcast. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 46:21
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's called the Happiness Highway. So I wrote a song. So it's called The Happiness. The Happiness Highway. 

Rich Bennett 46:28
Wait a minute. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 46:29
Uh huh. Good stuff, right? So now I have the song. So it's the theme song to my whole project that it's have in my highway, right 

Rich Bennett 46:38
What other 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 46:39
in 

Rich Bennett 46:39
surprises do you 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 46:40
my. 

Rich Bennett 46:40
have? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 46:41
Yeah, it's good stuff. 

Rich Bennett 46:43
Shouldn't you play an instrument as. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 46:45
No, I don't know. Well. 

Rich Bennett 46:46
Just the karaoke. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 46:47
I'm a lyricist, so I wrote the lyrics 

Rich Bennett 46:50
Okay. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 46:50
and I found this company. I actually talked to some of my family members and they they weren't able to to write the music behind it. So I ended up finding this company and they wrote the music behind it. And then he the guy was out there, he recorded the song. So I have the recording and when I got it, I was like, Oh, this is Regan. Awesome. I pray for my patients and their life. And you see him gone? Yeah. They're like, Okay, what's this going to be like? And then you seem kind of both in their head and the big smile comes and I'm like, Yeah. And that's exactly what I was looking for, right? 

Rich Bennett 47:20
So when did you actually start the podcast? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 47:22
Oh just recently like couple I I've done I did four episodes with one company and I wasn't it was good but it wasn't wasn't where I wanted it to be. So there's a local company was in Florida and we were doing it on Zoom and so their guy is in my area and he does it in studio. And so that's what 

Rich Bennett 47:41
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 47:41
I just did. One on Monday. I did. I we filmed two episodes and basically for now I'm talking about the book and some of the stuff in the book. And so I have a co-host. And so she couldn't come on Monday because she'd been in a car accident. Not not badly hurt bad enough. Right. So my wife actually volunteered to be my co partner and it was a it was really different doing the interviews with her. So like, Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 48:04
Oh, I bet. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 48:05
Yes. Yes. She has some really good points that she brought. I was great. Right. So now I have to decide, do I go with my wife? Do I go with my cousins? I didn't. I got to make these decisions. Yes. My goal is to blow the drop at like two a month. But then I want to start having. 

Rich Bennett 48:18
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 48:18
Yes. Somewhere along you're going to have to come on my podcast. 

Rich Bennett 48:22
Well, we already knew you have to come back on because we're going to be telling you about something else. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 48:26
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 

Rich Bennett 48:28
And I got to get a hold of Wendy about that. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 48:30
yeah. 

Rich Bennett 48:31
But so tell everybody, because this is important. Your Web site, how they can get in touch if you find your book. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 48:39
Yeah. So. So 

Rich Bennett 48:40
Yadda, 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 48:40
the website. 

Rich Bennett 48:40
yadda, all that where they could do you go do karaoke. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 48:43
Yeah. Now, there you go. The Jedi. Wednesday nights, they just. Oh, my God. I went out there the other night. It is a funny story. You have to hear the story. So I've been doing karaoke for 20 years. Right. So we've been following this deejay. He actually did my wedding. So my wife, my wife and I had a karaoke wedding. It was great. So we're sitting there having a beer and the deejay takes a break and he has his assistant running the mic and he's standing by like ten feet away from us. And this lady comes up, she goes, Oh, Eddie, you're so great. I've been coming to you for 20 years. You're awesome. She goes, I remember when you used to be at this other restaurant called and Shit. I remember there was a guy that dressed up as Prince, and he just turns and points to me and he goes, Yeah, he's right here. 

Rich Bennett 49:27
What? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 49:27
And she comes over. She goes, Oh my God, you are the guy to dress up as Prince. I was like, Yeah, that was me. She goes, Oh, my God. Ranked 20 years ago. And I'm like, Yeah. She goes, Wait, wait, wait. And she gets her phone and she goes, I have your picture. She had my picture as Prince from 20 years ago on her phone. 

Rich Bennett 49:43
Why? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 49:46
I 

Rich Bennett 49:48
Wow. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 49:49
was amazed. 

Rich Bennett 49:49
Well, I take it you were wearing a wig in all. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 49:51
Yes, I. You are right there with New Orleans. I had this big purple jacket with this gold green color. I had spandex tights on. I had purple suede boots. It was good stuff. 

Rich Bennett 50:04
So what I'm hearing is are spandex tights. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 50:07
Oh, no, they would fit. Oh, no. 

Rich Bennett 50:09
They say they fit better than that singlet. Well, you went 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 50:15
Yeah. Yeah. Well, they were the right size. That was the key. Yeah. 

And give us a boot. 

Rich Bennett 50:23
Should that be? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 50:23
The purple suede boots are three inch stiletto heels, right? Because they're women's boots. So I put them on and my staff, I was at the office and I put them on and they said, Dr. Sprouse, you can't wear them. You're going to kill yourself. I'm like, Well, let me just try it out, right? So I put these boots on and I walk down the hall and I come back and they look at me like, Do you need to tell us something? I'm like, What they got? You did that really easily. I like where it was, but I will tell you that women are insane. Literally. Why would you ever wear high heels again after you did it once? Like I had these boots on for, like, 4 hours and I could not feel my feet after 20 minutes. And then this was the first time I ever had a panic attack. So I go to take them off because the end of the evening. Right. They take the first one off. And I was like, Oh, I can feel my toes again, right? So I go to take the second off and the zipper gets stuck. I'm like, Oh yeah, that's exactly what I did. I'm like, Oh, right. So now I'm clapping around cause I got one heel on and one heel up and my brother comes, There's, I'll get this, I'll get this. So he grabs the tab and he pulls so hard that it breaks the tab off. So now I'm having a panic attack. 

Rich Bennett 51:27
Oh, God. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 51:27
Now I'm like, That's exactly my. 

We eventually broke the zipper so I could get it off the dinner. And I just, like, I was literally having a panic. So the next day I was going to take it to the shoe store and get it fixed. Now, these bills are $50 online, right? So I take it to the shoe store and the guy goes, Well, it's going to cost $60 to fix it. I'm like, Well, they're only $50 to buy, right? So I just go buy a new one, right? So I get 

Rich Bennett 51:53
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 51:53
into a line. They're all sold out. I go out and I must have started a craze. I. 

Rich Bennett 51:59
I do. The thing is, I don't understand how Prince was able to dance in those things. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 52:04
Oh, you could dance. Oh, I'm kidding. Because when you're in heels, it actually makes it easier. You can do a whole bunch of stuff because your angles are different because you're leaning forward a little bit. So going down? Yeah. No dancing was the easy part, right? But. 

Rich Bennett 52:16
Dancers have an easy time then. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 52:18
You can't walk on rocks, I'll tell you that. Walking on rocks and things like that, that is not a good thing. Yeah. If you're walking on a flat surface. Not too bad, right? 

I did Like what I dressed up as kiss once I was Gene Simmons. And for those I had, I had platforms that was much easier. Now you're just taller. So that was good. 

Rich Bennett 52:39
One of my favorite bands actually do. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 52:41
And as my dad was one of my. 

Rich Bennett 52:42
Kiss and bridge. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 52:44
Dr. Love is my theme song. 

Rich Bennett 52:46
Oh, God. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 52:47
Huh? I'll bring my stethoscope out. I'm swinging it around. Yeah, it's good stuff. And I got a purple wig I wear with it. Yeah, it's good. 

Rich Bennett 52:56
Oh, we got. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 52:57
This is my time in your happy place, right? 

Rich Bennett 53:00
Exactly. So what's the website? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 53:04
Okay, let's get back to that. 

The last dress doc dot com and then my email is less stress dock at gmail.com. So if you want to call me, you know, if you want to talk to me individually so I'm get my new website is just coming up so I just got it approved on Monday so it should come up next week sometime. It's actually pretty good. So there's going to be some blog on there and I'm an online course that I filmed in February should become announcing too. So if people, you know, instead of reading the book, if they want to do an online course, that gives them some more information. 

Rich Bennett 53:38
Right. Don't forget to put the links to your pocket, to your pockets up there as well. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 53:43
Yeah, that's under the YouTube insanity, the Happiness Highway, and that's what we're calling it. So. 

Rich Bennett 53:47
Okay. I knew that. So those of you listening when not I'm not saying if, but when you purchase bulk highway to your happy place a room map to less stress. After you read it, make sure you leave a full review either on Amazon good reads wherever and and actually tell everybody your social media. Because I know you're on Facebook. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 54:11
So on YouTube, I do a lot on Facebook. There's under less stress. I have an Instagram account that's under there and I do LinkedIn. But I think the link I think LinkedIn is under my name. Gary Russo. 

Rich Bennett 54:22
Right. Makes sense. Makes sense. So before I get to my last question, is there anything you would like to add? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 54:28
Yeah. Just tell people like, don't resign yourself to being stressed out. There is so much out there that can help you. And this book is just one of the tools. I think there's some really good stuff. What I like is that, like, I can't stop. Like, if your spouse dies, that's like, the most stressful thing in your life. I can't bring your spouse back to life. But what I realized was there's components to what makes your spouse dying so stressful. And that's what the book talks about. If you're worried you're feeling guilty, you're grabbing things. Your self-esteem takes a hit. You know, you're overwhelmed. I can do something about those things. Those are the components that make something so stressful. And so that's something we can do something about. And that's what the book addresses. And it addresses in a way, like it's one thing to say, hey, go meditate or go jog or do something, right. These are sort of generic 

Rich Bennett 55:13
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 55:13
descriptions. But when you don't know what it is you're trying to fix. Well, they work, but yeah. But when you know what it is you're trying to fix, then those tools become so much more effective. 

Rich Bennett 55:24
So my last question, I have a funny feeling, you know what it is because you've been on several interviews now. Right. On several podcasts. Is there anything that A who says never asked you that you wish they would have asked you? And if so, what would be that question? What would be your answer? 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 55:41
Well, that's a tricky question. Uh oh. Well, because I like to talk the. Yeah. I'm trying to think I'm. 

Yeah. I don't know. I can't think of anything right offhand, cause I talk about a lot of stuff. I mean, I think because I end up talking about the book a lot. So the one thing we were talking about before we got on film is about the work. The offshoot of this work is a new model for addiction. And so what I've found is that our models for addiction, we have really smart people in the world trying to fix addiction, and we have a lot of money trying to fix it. And the people that want to get off are really motivated. And despite all those advantages, we're still only getting a 20% success. I'm like, There's something wrong with this picture. And I've come to the conclusion that it's the model that we have to use a different model. And what I find is a lot of doctors are uncomfortable with the idea of chronic disease, which is fine, but it doesn't help patients. And there's a lot of people out there that don't even look into what causes. They just want to treat it. And I'm like, No, we need a model so we can then tell people what's going on. And so what comes out of my work from this book is that if stress is a side effect of our skills, then the more stresses you have, the more things you have to do to reduce that stress and the more powerful it has to be to reduce it. And so when you look at that, you call this model the stress reduction loop model. Now that makes sense. And then I say to my patients, look, you're normal, you have stress, you found something that worked and you that was normal. Then your brain made it automatic. You made it into a habit that's normal. Then you said, Hey, this is causing problems. I got to stop. But it stuck because there's a track that's literally in your brain. And then you're like, What do I do? And then they resigned themselves. I just have to do this. My motto. What it says is We need to reduce your stress to say you don't used to use any treatment at all, and then whatever stresses you have left over, we just need to find some other thing to reduce your stress that doesn't have the same side effects at the end. And then guess what? And this is what all my patients realize. Wait, so I'm going to be normal. And I go, Yeah. And they're like, No kidding me. I'm like, Yeah, you're going to be normal. That was amazing, right? So instead of 

Rich Bennett 57:54
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 57:54
these milder, we tell people, You're disease for the rest of your life, no matter what you do, the best you're going to do is control this. Try every day to try and control this. And you're like, That's depressing to hear. If you're a 21 college kid drinking too much and you hear you're going to be an alcoholic for the rest of your life. Well, no, I don't want to hear that. Then they fight with you when I say, hey, you know what? Alcohol is helping you because it's reducing your stress, but it's cause and side effects. Let's do something different, Right? Maybe we can find something. 

Rich Bennett 58:23
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 58:24
So I had a patient that he was like in the seventies and he had had pneumonia and he came to the to the nursing home where I was working at. And his doctor said, Oh, you're an alcoholic. You drink four drinks a night, you got to stop. And he's like, What do you mean, no, I want no, I don't have a DUI. My wife doesn't care. I go to work every day. No, you're an alcoholic. You drink for drink tonight. So I came along. I said, okay, look, you got stresses. I get that being you as a counselor, I think that's what I say. But you're using the dose for drinks tonight that even if it's not causing problems right this minute, it's eventually going to cause problems in your liver and your heart and your brain 

Rich Bennett 59:00
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 59:00
and your right. And some are you going to get, you know, So how about we change the dose? How about instead of drinking for drinks tonight, you just drink one drink, and I think that'll give you the same benefit. He's like, Well, yeah, well, the key is we were having a conversation. He wasn't yelling at me. He wasn't. Matt 

Rich Bennett 59:16
Yeah. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 59:16
wasn't fighting me. We were having a conversation and now he's like, Oh, well, if I'm thinking of that as a treatment, well, yeah, maybe I need one drink a night. Yeah, that's fine. I can do that. Right. Then it's different, Right? So then you then you're getting people before they hit rock bottom. That's where you were. I don't want to wait till you're so desperate, Dago. Fine. I'll admit that I had this disease for the rest of my life, but I'm, you know, I'm way at the bottom. If I'm willing to admit that this guy was willing to say, Well, yeah, I could see where for drinks would cause a problem as I move into the future. Yeah. Let me see if I can go back. 

Rich Bennett 59:49
Yeah. Yeah. And it makes sure I've had a lot of people and we've talked about that. You. Some people just can't quit. But you can control how much you can limit it. You can limit the. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 59:59
There was a study that I listened to. This guy was presenting the study, and he had a hundred people and they were all like drinking a fifth of alcohol a day. They had lost their jobs. They'd lost their families. They brought him into this. He did this whatever treatment he did. And at the end he goes, Yeah, we felt that we only had a 20% abstinence rate. So at 80%, we're still drinking, so we failed. I go, Do you mean you fail? I go, Well, how much are they drinking? He goes, Well, they had a couple of beers a night. I'm like, Well, that's not failing. Wait, what? What? How would that be failing? They went from drinking a fifth alcohol and without their family and working, and now they're drinking two beers and are going to work in their family's back way. Why? Why would you call? And that's insane. Right. So we only call abstinence success. Everything else is failure. Well, who made that rule? That's. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:46
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 1:00:46
No, but if you're looking at stress, reduce your lose. So like, like I said, it's boxing in my office and I was getting a 95% success rate. People that are methadone in their clinics were getting a 20% success rate. But it makes when you use the disease model, it makes no sense to use an opioid to treat an opioid addiction. That makes no sense. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:10
Right. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 1:01:11
But in my model, it makes all the sense in the world because what I'm saying is, Hey, you picked opioids to treat your stress and they cause all these side effects like you had to go do illegal things, you had to use needles, you had to like you had a find the money on your own, like Suboxone will give you some of the same benefits, but with way less side effects. It doesn't make you get high. It's something that's legal. The government helps you pay for it. You only have to come to my office once a month. You can go back to work. You can stop worrying about how are you going to be able to find it or not and what's in it. Besides whatever I think I'm buying. Right? And it's like, So your stresses go way down and then your need to use it go it up. And so while you're on Xbox and what I'm teaching you is how to have less stress and what other things you can do. So then you don't need to be on Suboxone either. But it's a great transitional thing, just like we use Nicorette gum to transition people off cigarettes. Suboxone is a transitional treatment to get you off while we're teaching you other ways to handle your stress. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:05
Right now going cold turkey right away. You know. Well, Prince, Less stress, Doc. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 1:02:15
Wrestling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:20
Dr. Sprouse, I want to thank you so much. And yes, I did learn a lot. I know my listeners did as well, and I will definitely get them back. Get back in touch with you. So after I talked to Wendy. So we can schedule another one, 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 1:02:34
I would 

Rich Bennett 1:02:35
another 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 1:02:35
like. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:35
episode. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 1:02:36
I would like that. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:37
Well, maybe one day if you ever if you're ever up this way, if you're ever on the other side of the bay, 

let me know. Because every once in a while we'll do a roundtable podcast. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 1:02:47
Oh, that'd be awesome. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:49
Yeah. And we actually got. Well, I'll tell you afterwards. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 1:02:54
good. I like. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:55
Thanks a lot. 

Dr. Gary Sprouse 1:02:56
All right, man. Thank you for having me on the show. It's been great. I love it.