Pioneering Paths to Recovery: A Conversation with Steve Feldman

Rich Bennett 0:00
With over 40 years in business and a specialisation as an interventionist, Steve Feldman is a key figure in addiction and mental health interventions. Part of the esteemed Feinberg consulting team, he champions personal growth, self-care and recovery. Steve's philosophy emphasizes balance, self-care and continuous personal development rooted in an environment of compassion and commitment. A dedicated family man, Steve, also prioritizes his physical wellness through two very important things cardio and yoga. Oh, God. I can't wait to ask you some questions about the yoga part. So first of all, welcome, Steve. How's it going? 

Steve Feldman 0:43
It's going well. Thank you for having me. 

Rich Bennett 0:46
Yeah, I'm just going to ask you right off the bat, DDP yoga or something else? Some other yoga. 

Steve Feldman 0:51
Say it again. 

Rich Bennett 0:53
DDP Yoga or another type of yoga? 

Steve Feldman 0:55
No, you know, the yoga that I practice is, is really would be called Hatha yoga and it's okay. Breath and movement. 

Rich Bennett 1:04
Which is very important. Makes a big difference though, doesn't it. 

Steve Feldman 1:09
You know, I think that that yoga provides a foundation for getting grounded in the moment and being able to focus on what's happening right now and address things that come up like discomfort and oppose thoughts that may be taking you all over the place and being able to help 

center yourself through the use of your breath, through the use of of being able to re ground and focus. And I think it's a great metaphor for what happens in everyday life, because we really can't be present for anything but what's present, but can get distracted by thoughts of the past in the future. 

Rich Bennett 1:55
Right. Yeah. I love doing I got I did it years ago because I had gotten up to £300 and I was just miserable and I started doing the DDP yoga, lost £50 and never felt better. I could actually bend over and touch my toes again so that I wasn't able to do for a long time. But the breathing exercises to which they taught helps it a lot and it even helps with your mental health because you get more oxygen to the brain, which is something that you need and you can focus more clearly. So before we get into the business, everything you're doing now, give us a little bit of history about you. Who who is Steve Feldman and how did you get into this? 

Steve Feldman 2:40
So 

who is Steve Feldman? Steve Feldman is a guy that has had a long career in in business and entrepreneurship. And the common theme with every business that I have been in has really been about somehow being of service or helping people. Um, that was everything from a construction business that helped renovate and improve homes. I was in the yoga business for a long time and now I've been in the people business with a, with a consulting company that helps people with their mental health, with their medical health, as well as, you know, addictions or other behavioral issues. Right. And then and then personally, I'm somebody who is in long term recovery. I recognized for myself that I used a lot of strategies to make myself feel better, to avoid pain, to deal with the discomfort of life in a way that was not healthy at all. Like, right, the objective was to feel less pain and the it was not effective. So drugs and alcoholism, workaholism, avoidance, you know, unmanageable. It was really part of what led me many years ago to a path of recovery. And there really has been a parallel path of being able to help myself, to be able to help, to be on a path to help others in my in my recovery. There was a lot of damage in my act of use. There was a lot of damage. Family to relationships, to myself personally. And I found myself through years of therapy and recovery and and being able to have relationships with with people that are looking to improve themselves. I found my life improving and having things happen in a way that I never, ever thought was possible. And ultimately, I mean, you know, your show isn't long enough for this whole story, and I won't want to bore everybody with it. But ultimately, my personal passion and my professional business kind of merged. And I am in the you know, in a business now where I'm able to share with no matter what somebody's situation is or their family member's situation is that there is hope and there is possibility for something different. And in the short of it, that's really what I and my company offers is hope is healing and as you know, creating peace of mind that in many cases in the midst of a crisis, in the midst of addiction, in the midst of mental health issues, 

many times thinks, you know, it's easy to think that there is no hope, There is no other way. 

Rich Bennett 5:53
Right. So, Hal, if you don't mind me asking, how long in recovery now? 

Steve Feldman 5:58
So this past April was 31 years sober from drugs and alcohol, which led me to pass more than half of my life. I just turned 62 a week after I had my 31st anniversary. And I'm now more. 50% of me is has been sober for for my life. 

Rich Bennett 6:18
That is awesome. Congratulations. We actually we had a guy on not too long ago just celebrated 32 years and what he did for it, he lives in North Carolina, but he came up here to Maryland to actually addiction treatment center and ran for 32 hours. You know, good for him. Oh, he is awesome. From all I know, he's the only person to ever run across the Sahara Desert. Wow. Yeah. So just to me, you. I'm glad you're doing that, though, because one of the things I found out through you throughout the years doing this, 

people that have gone through addiction and have suffered from some type of mental health day here, we call it. I don't know what it is, but we call them peer recovery specialist because they're the ones talking to other people through it. And I think that helps a lot more if you've been through it. And I'm not suggesting everybody goes through it to do this, but those that have been through it, those I think they're too it's a lot easier for somebody who is going through it now to talk to somebody who has been through it. 

Steve Feldman 7:28
Yeah, You bring up a you bring up a great point. And there is an ability to identify with the be the ability for somebody who is going through it to feel heard and seen. And, you know, it is not required for somebody to be in their own recovery to help somebody else. But there is a there is a camaraderie, a connection that. Yes. Is is there. And the other thing is there's this ability to be able to sift through somebody's B.S., You know? Yes. There's there's not a whole lot of stories or narratives that somebody can come up with that that somebody that's been through it and in their own recovery hasn't been there before. Mm hmm. And at that level, whether it's, you know, peer recovery coaching, whether it's, you know, mutual support groups like 12 step groups, it is that identification that really helps people feel part of something. Yeah, because I think in many ways, addiction and mental health are diseases, you know, are diseases of disconnection, of wanting to create the idea that I'm unique, that I'm alone, that I'm separate and is part of the human condition. We're designed to connect 

and we thrive on connection. We, we, we really want to have and desire that human connection, that intimacy with another and 

addiction, who in my estimation, has its own personality and own agenda. And that agenda is to stay disconnected. 

Rich Bennett 9:23
Yeah. What now have you noticed, too? Because I've seen this again just from touching your body, but it seems like the recovery, the recovery circle is huge. 

Everybody just gets together, unlike, let's say, the addiction circle. You know, when you're in addiction, there's not as many. But that recovery circle, it's like a giant family, isn't it? 

Steve Feldman 9:47
Yeah, there's no there's no doubt. There's no doubt. And that is that piece of connection that is welcoming. That is, you know, removing judgment whenever, whenever possible, which is taking things down to a common, you know, a commonality, a mutual shared likeness, which then isn't about socioeconomic status. It isn't about race, it isn't about sexual orientation, man, we're all the same. And there is you know, I'll tell you I'll tell you a quick story. So the first day that I went into treatment, it was Alumni Day and there was a couple of speakers. The first woman I couldn't remember. The second guy was a black guy named Luther. Luther was a heroin addicted homeless man, middle of Detroit on the streets, Guy. Me and him had nothing in common because as a Jewish kid from the suburbs that drove a nice car and had a home, you know, a nice home that I lived in, never had to think about food. 30 seconds into Luther sharing his story, I realized that me and him were the same. And for the first time, I recognized that ego, that status, that the story that I made up in my head, that I was different and unique, and somehow I was the same as Luther. Now, I met Luther over 31 years ago. I don't know that I would recognize him. I never saw him again. But that guy moved me in a way that I thought I was a part from. And the truth is, I was the same as and and my story about that is not unique. And it happens all over the place. That recovery community connects in a profound way. 

Rich Bennett 11:40
MM hmm. So true. So what was a pivotal moment in your life that actually steered you towards becoming an interventionist? 

Steve Feldman 11:50
So, you know, 

Fiber Consulting is a company that's been in business since 1996, and my partner, Pam Feinberg, started the business. It is a it started as a medical case management company helping people who had been catastrophically injured, mostly in auto accidents, either traumatic brain injury or spinal cord injury. The company developed a way to really help advocate and coordinate care for those that needed help. It was a very high level of care. It was a very 

thoughtful and strategic level. And we recognized over time, as I got involved with the company and became a partner in the company, that there was also an opportunity to do this work in mental health and addiction. And we started to build case management in this arena, really coordinating and advocating for individuals and families. And out of this, in many cases, we had families that would come to us that wanted to help their loved one, but the loved one was not in that same place of wanting to get help. 

Intervention and is really another word for interruption, right? Something's happening that needs to be interrupted and an intervention is just creating a new plan and implementing it by closing down the road that was happening before. It doesn't necessarily mean that it has to be a surprise news event that, you know, sometimes is highlighted on TV and with a TV show. Yeah, there's a way of working with families and helping them approach their loved one. There's a way of many cases that a loved one is really looking for help right in the moment. And sometimes we need to 

intervene in a way that is more formal by creating a staged meeting that can be a surprise sometimes to help get somebody to say yes to living. And and really what we recognized is that this skill set in helping get somebody to move along a continuum of what might be best for them, but not necessarily what they want, but is is working with the family system and creating a real clear approach to that. And when we saw that there was such a need for that, 

I went into and and enrolled in an intervention training and then have done several more since. And we have other people in our company that are trained interventionists to be able to help really assess what's going on, come up with recommendations about what kind of care is needed and what kind of strategy is needed to to get the desired outcome. So that's a long winded answer of of how I got to that point. The critical moment was really recognizing to help the most amount of people. Having that skill set in my tool belt of of being able to really work with families and people that care about the person of concern. Right. Do it in an organized way to help get the desired outcome. 

Rich Bennett 15:24
Now, do you guys work with people throughout the country or just locally? 

Steve Feldman 15:29
Yeah, No, we we work throughout the country. We have corporate offices in Michigan as well as an office in South Florida, in the Delray Beach area. We have people that work with our company that are located in different states. And then depending on the situation, we have all traveled to multiple places nationally and we have clients in our company internationally as well. 

Rich Bennett 15:55
Oh, wow. Now, do you guys actually work with other like non-profits? Because a lot of your recovery homes are non-profit. So do you guys work with any of them as well? 

Steve Feldman 16:05
So 

typically and and our services are not covered by medical health insurance. 

Rich Bennett 16:15
Right. 

Steve Feldman 16:16
Which is a which is, you know, a challenging thing. 

Rich Bennett 16:19
So it's an ongoing battle. 

Steve Feldman 16:21
There's a large group of people that need help. And then there's only a smaller group of people that are able to access it because of finances. Right. And inside of that will utilize the best resources. And it's also depending on somebody's ability to pay. So, yes, we have connected with non-profits that will provide sliding scales for people coming in. And we've also worked with some of the highest end providers of either treatment or transitional living throughout the country. 

Rich Bennett 16:57
Good. How do family dynamics actually play into the success or challenges of interventions? 

Steve Feldman 17:05
Well, it's it's it's a large and that's a you you hit a part that is really super important because in these situations 

there's the person of concern but then there's the system around them. In many cases, that's the family. And that family, based on just the dynamics and the stigma around addiction issues or mental health issues. It's very easy to either minimize or to blame and shame and minimizing and blaming and shaming is not a great container to help somebody. 

Rich Bennett 17:47
Right. 

Steve Feldman 17:47
So really, what we want to do is we want to be able to help the families see the inconsistencies in how they're showing up, how they're behaving, decisions they're making, things they're able to do to and continue to enable the situation that are counterintuitive to what's potentially best for the person. Right. And in many cases, there's triangle ing that goes on. In many cases, there's enabling that's going on. In many cases, there's emotions of fear and anger and resentment that are that play into it all are part of a the ingredients that are not going to help the outcome. 

Rich Bennett 18:34
Yeah. 

Steve Feldman 18:35
So what we really want to do is we want to provide education to help families align on what's necessary to make changes 

and what happens is we provide this education, this coaching and this preparation to help that happen. You know, the analogy that gets used all the time is if you want to grow something in an environment like a cactus, there's an environment of dry and hot that's needed. And then that cactus can thrive. I'm in Michigan, and in the wintertime, when it's cold and wet and miserable, no matter how bad we want a cactus to grow, it's not growing. Right. And what are the ingredients in the environment that helps a recovering person grow? It is dignity. It's love, it's compassion, it's consideration. And we want to help access all of those things because what we believe is when those things are present, we have a higher level of opportunity and success to get the help for the person that's, you know, that's waving their hand. 

Rich Bennett 19:50
Right. Good. So are there any, say, unconventional or innovative intervention methods you've adopted that have proven particularly effective? 

Steve Feldman 20:02
Listen, the most effective method of intervention is love. 

Rich Bennett 20:08
Bingo. Thank you. I'm glad you said that. 

Steve Feldman 20:12
And love is what gets wrapped around this. You know somebody who's struggling with mental health or addiction, 

That is not the true, authentic part of who they are. It is something that they're dealing with. And in many cases, it creates a 

a shell. It creates an armor that the way in is through and to the heart. And we talk about these love piercing arrows to get through the denial, the anger, the the all of the things that are present in addiction and mental health that wants to say, I don't have a problem, you're the problem. Leave me alone. I'll stop on Monday. Whatever ever is is coming up. And the way to access that is through love. 

Rich Bennett 21:18
I love that. No pun intended there. But 

what is an interventionist I know can be hard. But how do you establish trust with someone who is resistant to intervention or in denial about their situation? 

Steve Feldman 21:38
So establishing trust is a really big part of this. Mm hmm. And, you know, if we're talking about a formal intervention, there's a lot of work that has been done to help align, educate and prepare the people that are involved in it. And when somebody walks into a surprise intervention, the person that is facilitating that, leading it is really going to provide clear and direct communication. They're going to set a they're going to set a context of the fact that this is not a funeral. This is potentially a celebration of life. It often is said that it's a surprise party that nobody necessarily wants. 

Rich Bennett 22:26
Right. 

Steve Feldman 22:28
But inside of that, 

the family is all helped to create a letter, a love letter, an intervention letter that shares about, amongst other things, but that shares about the concerns. So the letters are going to contain things that come before the potential objections. So if somebody says, I don't have a problem, but the letter shared in a non shaming way, these situations that happened when this happened or this happened or this happened, that really scared me that I know you know which this was not you when you did this. This was the addiction talking. But when you got behind the wheel and you drove and ended up, you know, getting a DUI or crashing the car, that was so scary about what could happen. And we're building a case against all of the objections that could possibly come up. So you're actually anticipating it in advance. Right. And trust is also created in a non when when it's a non shaming environment. And ultimately these letters have a specific ask for what somebody is being asked to do. And when one person after the next is asking the same thing, will you please accept the help that's being offered and go today? We have arrangements made. All they have to do is say, yes, there's not a lot of thinking about it. 

The part that happens that has a lot of weight to it is if the person says no and there's no overcoming that objection, it's a choice. Just like the people asking have a choice and they're going to choose to not continue to behave the way that they're behaving, which has allowed this to continue. 

So there's two areas there. There's levels of influence and leverage. Influence are matters of the heart that maybe I can no longer continue to be in relationship with you. If you're continuing to use and don't seek the help that's being asked or leverage is matters of the pocketbook, I can't continue to pay for your house, your car, whatever it may be, because ultimately it's hurting you. And I can't live this way. Now, I don't want to do that. I'm not threatening you, but just know this is what you can count on. 

And in many cases, when the person recognizes wait a second, the jig is up, I can't continue to manipulate my way around this system. Then the understanding of what is being offered 

helps them make a decision to say yes. 

So in many cases, trust is not necessarily built. In many cases, a scenario is built to help them realize saying, yes in that moment is their best option. 

Rich Bennett 25:55
Hmm. Okay. So with Feinberg, what what makes them unique in its approach to interventions in mental health? 

Steve Feldman 26:05
So a couple of things. I'll tell you that there are three things that make Feinberg unique. One is Feinberg Consulting is a joint commission accredited case management company and the only one in the country. And that joint commission accreditation holds us to a very high standard in everything that we do in our company. And there is nobody else that has that. The second thing that is unique about Feinberg Consulting is that we also have a very strong medical staff as well as a behavioral health staff. So everything that we're looking at, we're looking at through the lens of behavioral health and medical and many cases, these things are co-occurring. And if you're only looking through one perspective, there's a lot missed. So we have on a behavioral health case a nurse consultant that is available and in many cases on a complex medical case. We have a behavioral health consultant. So there is a team approach of looking at this that looks at it through the medical and the behavioral health lens. That's the second difference. And the third difference is that there's we have no one size fits all plan. We're we're looking at we're looking at things from the perspective of doing a full assessment and understanding what the current situation is, to be able to modify, adjust and create a plan that is specifically designed for that client or family. And what we do is very relational, not transactional. 

Rich Bennett 28:00
So it's yeah, I love that because you really can't just have one set plan for everybody. Not one size can fit all. What's interesting, sorry, what's interesting. 

Steve Feldman 28:13
What's interesting about this space is that 

for us, we're representatives of the family or the client. Mm hmm. So different treatment providers or even levels of care from residential to intensive outpatient to maybe just even outpatient care. There's no benefit to us. Right. We're we're very neutral in making those recommendations, which is different in many cases. When somebody reaches out to it to a treatment center that is very interested in and everybody doesn't operate this way, but their perspective is slanted because if they can get a client in, that's part of the business model, right? We spend a lot of time clinically and ethically vetting providers all over the country to be able to provide the best kind of match for what somebody's level of care is and specific providers. 

Rich Bennett 29:20
So you truly do care about the individuals and listen, we. 

Steve Feldman 29:28
Got into this business not because we went down the line figuring out what the right business was. We got into this because it is passion driven. Everybody on our on our staff and our company either has directly their own story or is connected to a family in a way that they love this work and see. 

Rich Bennett 29:51
And that's great to hear because unfortunately, you know, I mean, there are businesses out there that they're in it for the money and to hear you say that is God. I mean, it's heartwarming because it truly shows that you guys are there to help the individuals. And that's something I love. 

Steve Feldman 30:13
I mean, listen, the greatest joy in our business is hearing about the success of somebody. It's just about the interruption that that happened that helped somebody going down a destructive path to have a meaningful life. It is it is the greatest 

joy and and it feels so amazing. You know, as our company grows, we have people that work with families that we call it our relations team on the way in to describe our services and what we do. And as the company grows and, you know, my responsibility as the CEO of the company is to just oversee and help provide vision and direction. And one of the most challenging things that I have to do is that I love to be in there talking to families. I want to be on those first calls because to have that first call or second call and get them to join what we do and then to find out about how it comes, you know, what happens on the on the back side of our services, which sometimes can be six months, a year, sometimes two years. We work with people and longer watching and following that progress is is such a sense of satisfaction and joy. Love it. 

Rich Bennett 31:44
Actually. Can you share a success story? 

Steve Feldman 31:47
Yeah, I, I just had a call the other day. It's been just over two years now where I was referred a cousin of a guy who was struggling with alcoholism. Mm hmm. The local physician. He. He was allowing this young guy to live in their home, and he was in active alcoholism, blackout drunk multiple times a week. And we started working with with the caller. This physician and his wife 

provided an opportunity to help support this young guy. He was very, very resistant. We kept on with them and creating boundaries and and finally, one day, he he actually drank himself to a point where he had alcohol poisoning. And he and he came to the to the E.R. The family called and we went and met everybody in the E.R. and helped get him to agree to go to treatment. He went to a program out in California, 

went through a really challenging detox, and then he stayed there for 90 days. He took their advice of moving into a transitional living program for another 90 days. He got a job working in an adventure recovery program out in California. 

He's since cleaned up all kinds of legal issues that he had out east. That was why he was facing jail time. He was facing all kinds of things. He's restored his license, restored his relationship with his sister, restored his relationship with his mother, and is is out there. He's just finished two years. He's working in the industry in an adventure. You know, he's facilitating adventure ropes courses on a in a treatment program out in in in in Utah. Oh, wow. And I spoke to him. You know, we stay in touch. I spoke to him. And he was somebody who was so resistant and so cynical and so smart and had all the answers but recognized that something wasn't working for him. Yeah. And is incredibly humble, incredibly grateful and out there helping other people. And, you know, I bump into the his cousin this this guy every now and then and there doesn't even have to be any words said here. I'll look at me in public and and we know something that happened that really saved a life. And we hear these stories day in and day out, no matter how down the scale somebody has gone. 

Rich Bennett 34:45
Mm hmm. 

Steve Feldman 34:46
It's not too late. 

Rich Bennett 34:50
So, you know, stories just fill your heart, don't they? 

Steve Feldman 34:53
Yeah, man. 

Rich Bennett 34:54
You got to love it. So I'm looking at the time, but something very important I want to find out from you or get your opinion on. Where do you see the future of addiction, recovery and intervention heading to? 

Steve Feldman 35:11
So where I see the future of addiction and recovery is I see it being less stigmatized. I, I see it, and I hope for it that insurance will be able to have a longer view of what. Yes, paying for additional treatment could come up. You know how it could benefit the individuals, but also them because, you know, recidivism is very high in many cases is because there's not enough treatment on the front end. Yeah. So I see that happening. And, you know, I also see, as I said before, it being less stigmatized where it being able to be more out in the open, more able for one person's challenge to help the next. Mm hmm. And I also see it as a 

unfortunately, a growing need, because in the world of everything happens so fast with our cell phone and social media 

everything escalating in terms of the legalization of marijuana, the potency of marijuana, the challenges on young people to perform in in school and all those things is is a pressure cooker. And the need for education and prevention and the need to be able to help provide services is going to grow. 

Rich Bennett 36:52
Yeah, 

and especially after COVID you seen especially of teens is definitely on the rise and that's something we. It'd be nice if we could just stop it completely. But we know that's that's an uphill battle. Something very. Tell everybody the website and how they can get in touch if you're sure. 

Steve Feldman 37:16
Our Web site is Feinberg Care.com. That's FBI and be our GCA. 

And our telephone number is 

2485385425. 

Rich Bennett 37:33
So, Steve, I'm going to put you on the spot. Something I always like to ask people for. You know, the last question and actually I'm going to have to get you back going again, because we do a we've done one virtual roundtable on mental health and we want to do some more. And I love to have you on for that because I know there's a lot more you can offer. But out of all the interviews you've done so far, is there anything that a host has never asked you that you wish they would have asked you? And if so, what would it have been and what would be your answer? 

Steve Feldman 38:12
Wow, That's a that's an interesting one. How about what is the one quality that is needed to be able to have a successful outcome with a family or an individual that's struggling? 

Rich Bennett 38:27
Oh, okay. What's the answer for that? 

Steve Feldman 38:33
And the answer we talked about it a little bit earlier, and the answer is love. 

Rich Bennett 38:37
Yeah. 

Steve Feldman 38:38
You know, that that that mental health and addiction is not a moral weakness or failing. It's not a shortcoming. It is a disease and a condition. And that disease and condition, when wrapped with love, caring, you know, dignity 

is best is best addressed. 

Rich Bennett 39:05
Yeah. And actually with that, because one of the terms you hear a lot when it comes to addiction and mental health is hard love. What's your opinion on that? Because it's not that hard. Love, tough love, same thing. 

Steve Feldman 39:22
So just like many things, tough love can conjure up something that everybody thinks about. It is a narrative that's different. The way that we look at tough love is more about clear boundaries, agreements, direct communication, and follow through on what you say. So tough love by trying to be a drill sergeant without a another choice is is challenging. But being able to set up something where, hey, listen, I just want you to know that this is what you can expect going. 

I don't want it to be this way, but these are the behaviors or the things that you're going to be able to expect from me going forward or these are the things that are going to be needed, which could be get out of my house. 

Rich Bennett 40:24
Right. 

Steve Feldman 40:25
But there's also followed up with what's necessary And what are you're asking them to do? 

Rich Bennett 40:33
Mm hmm. 

Steve Feldman 40:34
Many times somebody in the midst of addiction or mental health is not able to advocate and create their own care plan. So being able to help somebody recognize what they can say yes to and have it it specific and planned out, and that if they don't, what they can count on is very clear, direct communication and I'm guessing what some could call tough love. 

Rich Bennett 41:04
Right. 

Steve Feldman 41:06
Right. But our our our version of it is not threats is not punishment, is not, you know, coming from that place. 

Rich Bennett 41:16
Right. Right. Well, Steve, I want to thank you so much. And again, congratulations. 31 years. That's awesome. And thank you for everything that you're doing to help others. It's been a true honor to talk to you, and I cannot wait to have you on again. 

Steve Feldman 41:33
It's my pleasure. Great meeting you, too, as well. And I look forward to staying in touch. Keep up the good work. 

Rich Bennett 41:38
We will. Thanks.