Secrets to Overcoming Addiction & Guilt with Damian & Alicia Bloss

Rich & Wendy 0:00
Hey, everyone is Rich Bennett. Can you believe it? The show is turning ten this year. I am so grateful for each and every one of you who've tuned in, shared an episode, or even joined the conversation over the years. You're the reason that this podcast has grown into what it is today. Together, we shared laughs, tears and moments that truly matter. So I want to thank you for being part of this journey. Let's make the next ten years even better. Before we begin, I want to inform our listeners that this episode may contain discussions about substance abuse, mental illness, addiction, recovery, or possibly even suicide. Some content may be triggering or distressing for those who have experienced similar struggles or are sensitive to these topics. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek help from a trusted, professional or supporter organization. Coming to you from the Freedom Federal Credit Union Studios. Harford County Living presents conversations with Rich Bennett. 

Today, I'm going to get kind. 

No, no, no. The truth is. 

Rich Bennett 1:31
This young lady put a post out on Facebook a while ago about a group her and her husband were starting 

Alicia Bloss 1:39
We. 

Rich Bennett 1:39
or running. 

Alicia Bloss 1:40
Yeah, we rerun it. We started it a couple of years ago. 

Rich Bennett 1:43
Okay. 

Alicia Bloss 1:43
I guess, four years ago. 

Rich Bennett 1:44
Okay. So I looked and said to myself, I need to contact her because I want to get him on the show. 

Wendy Beck 1:51
And what about this? 

Rich Bennett 1:53
So I have a list. And. 

Wendy Beck 1:55
Laws. 

Rich Bennett 1:56
And they will get into it. I'm joined by, of course, my lovely co-host, Wendy. 

Wendy Beck 2:01
Hello. 

Rich Bennett 2:04
Yeah. Y'all haven't heard her in a while. Hiding from. But they started. It's a. 

Wendy Beck 2:09
Recovery. 

Damian Bloss 2:10
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 2:11
And he's also. 

Wendy Beck 2:12
The book, but. 

Rich Bennett 2:12
But we're we're going to get into his story and how they met and all that. So how are you guys? 

Alicia Bloss 2:19
Good. Is a good day. Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 2:21
Well, it's a lot warmer than it was yesterday 

Alicia Bloss 2:23
exactly. 

Rich Bennett 2:23
is. 

Damian Bloss 2:24
It is. 

Alicia Bloss 2:24
day. 

Rich Bennett 2:26
I think the high. 31. Hey, look at the bright side. We're. 

Wendy Beck 2:29
And in the. 

Rich Bennett 2:30
New Orleans. 

Alicia Bloss 2:30
That's right. 

Damian Bloss 2:31
Absolutely. 

Alicia Bloss 2:31
They get like a foot of snow. 

Rich Bennett 2:33
Put us. 

Alicia Bloss 2:33
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 2:34
That's crazy. It's like. 

Rich Bennett 2:37
A once in a lifetime thing. They'll give. 

Damian Bloss 2:38
Right. They have no idea how to live down there with 

Rich Bennett 2:41
Now 

Damian Bloss 2:41
that stuff. 

Rich Bennett 2:41
a Houston guy. 

Wendy Beck 2:43
And the tropical plants down there to. 

Damian Bloss 2:45
Right. 

Rich Bennett 2:46
I didn't think of. 

Wendy Beck 2:46
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 2:47
Florida got snow, but Houston had no snow plows. 

Damian Bloss 2:50
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 2:52
There is. 

Wendy Beck 2:52
Somebody. 

Rich Bennett 2:53
video of the head. On social media in Florida, I guess 

Alicia Bloss 2:58
I 

Rich Bennett 2:58
in the 

Alicia Bloss 2:59
saw. 

Rich Bennett 2:59
pen hit. 

Alicia Bloss 2:59
You're talking about on 

Rich Bennett 3:00
Salt 

Alicia Bloss 3:00
the. 

Rich Bennett 3:00
the road. Yeah. They're sitting on the back of a pickup truck. 

Alicia Bloss 3:03
With the 

Rich Bennett 3:03
Spread 

Alicia Bloss 3:03
bag 

Rich Bennett 3:04
the 

Alicia Bloss 3:04
of. 

Rich Bennett 3:04
this. That's. 

Alicia Bloss 3:06
cup or something, and he's spreading the salt all 

Rich Bennett 3:07
Why? 

Alicia Bloss 3:07
over the ground. 

Rich Bennett 3:08
Gullibility. Anybody listening down there? Don't get mad at me. But hey, it is what it is. You guys are. 

Guys iso. 

Wendy Beck 3:17
Before we get to the. 

Rich Bennett 3:18
Tell us about this. Well before recovery 

Wendy Beck 3:21
Recovery. 

Rich Bennett 3:21
group. 

Wendy Beck 3:22
Share your story, if you don't mind. Absolutely. 

Damian Bloss 3:25
So. 

Rich Bennett 3:26
No song to. 

Damian Bloss 3:31
Yeah. So 

Wendy Beck 3:32
In. 

Damian Bloss 3:32
I did not really have the makeup or what society would think the makeup of an alcoholic would be. I grew up in a loving home, and, you know, my parents, they weren't alcoholics or anything. They did divorce when I was eight years old, and I lived full time with my mother. But I saw my dad every day because he was my baseball coach and baseball was my life. And it wasn't until I was about 19 years old was the turning point, and a close family member had passed away. He died by suicide. Yeah. And, you know. It wasn't even just that, though, because I think I could have dealt with that. But I was the only one that knew that he was going to do it. I'm the only one that he ever told and confided in with this. And I don't know why. I have no idea why. And 

so when it happened, I'm left with this guilt. I could have stopped it. I could have done this. Or why didn't I tell somebody? You know, the family is is at each other's throats. Like, who knew that this was happening? And, you know, blaming him and her and him. And I held on to this for 20 years or so. And not even my family knew about this until my book came out. So nobody at all knew about it. And that was one of the main reasons why I wanted to write the book, because I had already been in recovery at that time, 

Rich Bennett 5:04
Right. 

Damian Bloss 5:05
and I needed to get that off my chest. It needed to be more than just a therapy or a therapist and more than Alicia that I tell this story to and because I know there's others out there like me. And that was just so it was so therapeutic to write this book. And I could not have done it, though, without the support from her, from my therapists and everybody else that I had going on with this this. You know, complete and utter self-destruction. 

Rich Bennett 5:36
So 

Wendy Beck 5:36
So I've 

Rich Bennett 5:37
when 

Wendy Beck 5:37
got. 

Rich Bennett 5:38
he when he took his own life, that's when the drinking it all got worse, I take it. 

Damian Bloss 5:43
Yeah. You know, so because of the guilt and because of the blame, I turn to alcohol. And I liked the way it made me feel with every single drink. It pushed that that farther and farther down to where it was nearly gone. But it also turned me into this person that I absolutely loved. I was outgoing and I was able to be, you know, extroverted now because I was I was completely introverted and I was able to just. Live free. 

Rich Bennett 6:17
Yeah. 

Damian Bloss 6:18
And I realized this. And that's. What one made me keep wanting to do it and keep doing it until I wasn't drinking to have fun anymore. It was drinking to survive. 

Rich Bennett 6:30
Yeah. 

Damian Bloss 6:31
I could not survive without it. 

Rich Bennett 6:33
Wow. 

Wendy Beck 6:34
Well, can I ask, how old are you? 

Damian Bloss 6:36
I'm 44. 

Wendy Beck 6:37
Okay. 

Rich Bennett 6:37
You are. 

Damian Bloss 6:38
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 6:39
Dame. You do not look at me. 

Damian Bloss 6:40
Well, thank you. I appreciate. 

Wendy Beck 6:44
No, I just care. 

Rich Bennett 6:45
About my son's age, you know, maybe 30, 31. 

Damian Bloss 6:49
My body does feel older though. Back aches and stuff like. 

I sneezed the wrong way and I pull my back out. So. 

Wendy Beck 6:58
That's a. 

Rich Bennett 7:01
I'll pull my bag out, sneeze the wrong way. The cracks. 

Start. How did you two meet? 

Damian Bloss 7:11
You want to tell this story? 

Alicia Bloss 7:12
Yes, I love this part. So we actually met through a mutual friend of ours. She was living with me and my mom at the time, and we are so. Hold on. Let me back up. Her and I met probably about 20 plus years ago. 2021. 

Wendy Beck 7:30
One years ago. 

Alicia Bloss 7:31
And after I had my first daughter, who's 18 now, she started working at the same place that he had just got a job. So they had just started at the same exact time. And we went out one night and this was 18 years ago. We just saw each other the first time and you know, there was nothing there. It was just, Oh, this is my friend Damien, This is my friend Alisha. And we hung out on occasion every now and then with, you know, all the other friends and stuff like that. And. 

Wendy Beck 7:59
Yeah. 

Alicia Bloss 7:59
You know, went to the bars all the time. But, you know, we weren't even MySpace friends, so it wasn't even like 

Rich Bennett 8:04
Oh, 

Alicia Bloss 8:04
that 

Rich Bennett 8:04
my. 

Alicia Bloss 8:04
kind of. That is showing how old we are. But we weren't even, you know, actual friends. We just knew of each other and hung out. And then we were both going through a separation in the beginning of May. Ah, I'm sorry. In May of 2010. Right? Yeah. And it just happened to be a night that neither one of us were supposed to be out that night. And I was at Della's in the avenue waiting for a friend of mine to show up. And I'm sitting on a bench and this guy sitting next to me and driving me crazy and wouldn't shut up and. I happened to look up and I see him standing there and he's wearing, you know, plaid shorts and a yellow polo. And I was like, I it's somebody I know. And I yelled 

Rich Bennett 8:48
Oh, 

Alicia Bloss 8:48
out. 

Rich Bennett 8:48
he wasn't the one driving. 

Alicia Bloss 8:49
He wasn't the one driving. 

Rich Bennett 8:50
Okay. 

Alicia Bloss 8:51
M some other random 

Wendy Beck 8:52
Just to get away from 

Alicia Bloss 8:53
just 

Wendy Beck 8:53
the person. 

Alicia Bloss 8:54
to get. 

Wendy Beck 8:54
Yeah. 

Alicia Bloss 8:54
I was like, Oh my God, I actually know this person. I said, Hey, yellow shirt. And he turned and looked at me and his eyes got really big, like excited to see me there. And I looking back, obviously, I know, you know, he was legitimately excited to see me, but I didn't realize it at that. 

Rich Bennett 9:12
Right. 

Alicia Bloss 9:12
But from there on out, we've just we've been inseparable the longest we've ever been apart. Well, obviously, it was when he was in rehab. 

Rich Bennett 9:21
Right. 

Alicia Bloss 9:22
But we had never spent a single day apart before or until then. 

Rich Bennett 9:26
How long have you been in recovery now? 

Damian Bloss 9:29
Going on five years. So February 13th, 2020 is my sobriety date. 

Wendy Beck 9:34
Okay. 

Rich Bennett 9:35
That was a good Valentine's Day present 

Damian Bloss 9:36
Right. 

Rich Bennett 9:36
for you. 

Wendy Beck 9:37
Right in. 

Alicia Bloss 9:38
Was. I also got an ice cream cake the next day. 

Rich Bennett 9:43
So 

Wendy Beck 9:43
So. 

Rich Bennett 9:43
now tell us about this group. And you guys started the group, right? 

Damian Bloss 9:48
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 9:48
I should tell us about this group where 

Wendy Beck 9:49
Where 

Rich Bennett 9:50
they 

Wendy Beck 9:50
they. 

Rich Bennett 9:50
meet and. Well. Is everything about it. 

Damian Bloss 9:53
Yeah. So when I got out of rehab, I wanted to do something for the community. I wanted to help others like me. And I knew that there were others. And there aren't many where you can just bring your mental health issues, your addictions and all in one place. There may. There may be, but I wanted something different. So I. I went to my pastor at the time at the church, and I asked him, I was like, can I start a group? I want to start a group and help others. And he was like, Absolutely. And he had already been and were in the works, had these advocacy groups in the works. So I told him and he was like, Yeah, you can run this one. And so her and I got together. We started the group called Breaking the Silence, and we meet every Fridays from seven until 8:00, but sometimes it goes over. So I make the time 7 to 830, just in case we want to go over. But yeah, we've been running that for, what, four years now? Going on four years? 

Alicia Bloss 11:02
November of 2020. 

Damian Bloss 11:04
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 11:04
Town Baptist. 

Damian Bloss 11:05
Town Baptist Church on Trimble. 

Rich Bennett 11:08
None of the other churches in the area have one. 

Alicia Bloss 11:10
Not something like that now. 

Damian Bloss 11:11
No. There's an AA meeting down off of in Rumsey Island off of Anchor Drive. Um. 

Rich Bennett 11:19
Yeah. Church of the Resurrection 

Damian Bloss 11:21
Yeah. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 11:22
Copies. 

Damian Bloss 11:23
That that's the only one in that I know of in our area, specifically here in Java. So I wanted to bring it here and you know, it's a small group, very small group, but there are opportunities for it to get bigger. But you know, it doesn't matter how many, all that we want to do is help one. If we can help one, then then, you know, our mission has been accomplished and we can continue to do it. Because to be honest, you know, the unfortunate reality is that. Not everyone can be healed. And but that doesn't mean that we stop trying. Right. We don't ever want to stop trying. And, you know, I. I love what we've done with this group, and I couldn't be more proud. 

Rich Bennett 12:08
So somebody. To come to the group. How 

Wendy Beck 12:10
How 

Rich Bennett 12:10
do 

Wendy Beck 12:10
do 

Rich Bennett 12:10
they 

Wendy Beck 12:10
they 

Rich Bennett 12:10
find? 

Wendy Beck 12:10
find out more about. 

Rich Bennett 12:12
I take it there's not a website or anything. 

Damian Bloss 12:14
No, no. But we do have a Facebook page. We are called Breaking the Silence. We also have an Instagram page, which is also breaking the silence for right now. That's all we have. But, you know, all all you have to do is reach out on Facebook or, you know, however you feel the way to get get in touch with us. 

You know, any any other. 

Rich Bennett 12:42
Don't just show up, though, because like the weather we've been having lately, you guys may not be able to have it. Me 

Damian Bloss 12:47
Absolutely so. 

Rich Bennett 12:48
So. 

Damian Bloss 12:48
So if you do, we encourage everyone, everyone to join our Facebook group because we can put updates there. Instead of trying to text in, you know, hunt everybody down and say, hey, we're not having it tonight. And we also do it virtually. So yeah. So if we don't make it in person because of the weather, we have a we have a zoom as well. 

Rich Bennett 13:11
That's great, because I'm sure you knew this, but the weather, especially wintertime, can somebody's going through anxiety or depression, I forget what they call it, the seasonal. 

Wendy Beck 13:22
Yes. 

Damian Bloss 13:22
Seasonal person. 

Rich Bennett 13:23
Yeah. And you don't want to skip that. 

Damian Bloss 13:26
Exactly. 

Rich Bennett 13:27
You want to get in there? 

Wendy Beck 13:28
Here. 

Damian Bloss 13:29
Exactly so. And, you know, I got a shout out to my to the church down Baptist for actually having that zoom. Because if it weren't for that on those times that we can't meet in person, you know people may be out you know so I, I love the fact that they allow us to use that. 

Rich Bennett 13:47
Who is the pastor there now? 

Damian Bloss 13:50
Daniel Maley. 

Rich Bennett 13:51
How long has he been there? 

Damian Bloss 13:53
What, two, 

Alicia Bloss 13:54
Thank. 

Damian Bloss 13:54
two and a half years? 

Rich Bennett 13:55
Those pretty. 

Alicia Bloss 13:55
2 to 3 

Damian Bloss 13:56
Yeah, 

Alicia Bloss 13:56
years. 

Damian Bloss 13:56
because before him, it was Nathan Casper. He was there for about three years. 

Rich Bennett 14:02
Wow. 

Damian Bloss 14:02
Something like that. 

Rich Bennett 14:03
I forget who was there when I went there. 

Been a long time. 

Damian Bloss 14:09
Well, 

Rich Bennett 14:09
Mm. 

Damian Bloss 14:09
yeah. And I can say, like Nathan, when he was there, he helped me out a lot. Um, the the day that I called the rehab and was like, Hey, I need. I need the help. I need to do it. Um, I accidentally called him so my dad and step mom were going to the church, and my dad was at his wit's end. He was like, I need something to figure out how to get you. 

Wendy Beck 14:38
You met. 

Rich Bennett 14:38
Yeah. 

Damian Bloss 14:39
He didn't know what to do and nobody would in in. And Nathan may not have been equipped to do it, but he my dad was just reaching. So he was like, hey, take his number. I need you to call him. So I took his number, of course, and I never called him in, but I told my dad I did so. So 

the the day that I made the appointment to go to rehab, it actually, 

I accidentally called him because I was texting her to tell her I need you to pick up the kids because I'm not going to be here any longer 

because I wanted to take my own life. 

Wendy Beck 15:21
Oh, my. 

Damian Bloss 15:22
So I was like, I fought with it. That was my only way out at that point. That was my only way that I was going to get out of this and and be free without. No more addiction, no more depression and all this stuff. And, you know, I was I was completely intoxicated and I'm fumbling with my phone. Somehow I accidentally called him. And in that moment, I can remember looking at the phone like, oh, no, what did I do? How do I hang up? I can't even figure out how to use my hands at that point. He answers the phone, and now I'm done. I got to talk because if I don't, he's going to call me back. So I said, I said I broke down. Nathan, I need your help. I was like, I don't know what to do, you know? I'm bawling my eyes out. He right away tells me I'm meeting you. You need to meet me at the Duncan in Japantown. We get there. We talk. I tell him what's going on and he asks me to pray. And at that point, I had never prayed, ever. 

Rich Bennett 16:31
Really? 

Damian Bloss 16:31
I didn't even know a prayer except the serenity Prayer. And so I'm sitting there and he's like, Just pray. And I don't even remember what I said. And at that point, that's when it clicked. Everything started clicking and him and I left that day. He asked me, he said, Do you have any more do any more drinks, you know, any more beverages? And of course, I told him, No, I did. I could not not have any more because I was going to die anyway if I didn't. So I went home. I drank whatever I had left. And I called the rehab. Still, 

and I called my insurance company. They told me to contact who? To contact Ashley and set it up. And I told her I was like, Hey, she still had to pick up the kids. Of course, because, you know, 

Wendy Beck 17:25
But you had 

Damian Bloss 17:25
but it wasn't because I wasn't going to be here any longer. It was because I'm going to get help. For real? Yep. 

Wendy Beck 17:32
Well, And I think that, you know, knowing a lot of people that are in recovery. What 

Damian Bloss 17:37
Right. 

Wendy Beck 17:37
I do with Rage Against Addiction. 

Those moments happen to people like that's your epiphany. That's your that's your. I don't know. It's just like everything flips. 

Damian Bloss 17:49
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 17:50
And that's inspiring. 

Damian Bloss 17:52
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 17:52
Really is. 

Rich Bennett 17:53
So do you think that phone call was still an accident or do you think it was a. 

Wendy Beck 17:58
Divine intervention. 

Damian Bloss 18:00
I honestly think it was a higher power and, you know, it was God telling me, hey, this is. 

Rich Bennett 18:05
She when you 

Wendy Beck 18:06
I'm 

Rich Bennett 18:06
could 

Wendy Beck 18:06
throwing 

Rich Bennett 18:06
if. 

Wendy Beck 18:06
you a life. 

Damian Bloss 18:07
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 18:08
Throwing you a life jacket. 

Damian Bloss 18:09
Right. You didn't see all the other signs. But this one you have to see. And I see. And, you know, to God and I used to be at wit's end, you know, we would butt heads, you know, and and we're cool now, you know what I mean? So, like. But, but yeah, seriously, like that was. That was definitely. 

Rich Bennett 18:30
Yeah, well. 

Damian Bloss 18:32
Nothing else can can get me to believe that it wasn't. 

Wendy Beck 18:36
So you went to rehab and you came out. You went. In 2020, which is during the pandemic, which is not an 

Rich Bennett 18:44
Oh. 

Wendy Beck 18:44
easy. That's not 

Damian Bloss 18:46
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 18:46
an easy time for early recovery because we had some we have some sober living houses. And, you know, it was it was all different. There was no more networking, no work, no more meetings. And so, you know, our ladies had to get used to doing this whole zoom thing. And so when and I'm sure that's how you initially started going to meetings was through Zoom. Now, let me ask you a question. When the meeting started opening back up, how were you then? Were you timid? Were you you know, was it like was it hard for you to shift to kind of get out there because you were so used to doing these virtual types of meetings? As I know, we had to basically kick them out the door. You know, more no more virtual. You know, you have to get out there and create this network. Did you do that? 

Damian Bloss 19:30
Oh, absolutely. It was very tough because virtually. I didn't have to be on camera, 

Wendy Beck 19:37
Mm hmm. 

Damian Bloss 19:37
so you didn't have to see my face so I could talk 

Wendy Beck 19:41
Yeah. 

Damian Bloss 19:41
about my story because I was still new at sharing. Because I didn't. I still thought people would judge me. And still to this day, I think that, you know, but I'm getting better with it. But, you know, it was it was hard to go back in person because I have to be vulnerable in person to these people. They get to see my face and who I am and what my story is. 

Wendy Beck 20:03
Right. 

Damian Bloss 20:05
So. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 20:07
So with with the book is basically a memoir, right? 

Damian Bloss 20:10
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 20:11
So this was how long after you got sober? 

Damian Bloss 20:15
April. Four years. So April one, 2024. It was just over four years sober. 

Wendy Beck 20:21
It was published. And how long did it take you to write it? 

Damian Bloss 20:23
It took me about nine months to write it, and I took my time and I wanted to make it to where it's not going to bore the reader. I wanted to get straight to the point, but also have a little bit of, you know, life to it so you could feel what I was feeling at that time. So yeah. 

Alicia Bloss 20:43
Originally wrote it by hand, too, in a little notebook. 

Damian Bloss 20:46
I did not. 

Alicia Bloss 20:47
They did it all. Old school. 

Wendy Beck 20:48
I do that, too. 

Rich Bennett 20:49
You. 

Wendy Beck 20:49
Yes. I love it. I love it. 

Alicia Bloss 20:51
And because we are like I said, we both work from home and he was like, Babe, I'm going to write a book. And I'm like, Oh, okay. And he's like, No, I promise I'm going to do. 

Wendy Beck 21:00
Do it and. 

Alicia Bloss 21:01
And in my head I'm thinking, okay, well, you know. 

Wendy Beck 21:05
I've 

Alicia Bloss 21:05
Heard 

Wendy Beck 21:05
actually. 

Alicia Bloss 21:05
this. I'm going to do it multiple times in the last however many years we've been together. So we'll wait and see what happens. Well, then within like a couple of days, he shows me that he starts actually physically writing it by hand. I'm like, That's actually how you're going to write a book. And I'm thinking, okay, he's just trying to get it out, trying to get everything out of his body, you know, because he needs to get. 

Rich Bennett 21:27
It's therapy to you. 

Wendy Beck 21:28
It is. 

Alicia Bloss 21:28
Exactly. 

Wendy Beck 21:29
And I 

Alicia Bloss 21:29
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 21:29
think that it's it's actually more therapeutic when you actually write it than type 

Alicia Bloss 21:35
Helped 

Wendy Beck 21:35
typing. 

Alicia Bloss 21:35
the most. Yeah. 

Damian Bloss 21:36
Yeah, absolutely. 

Wendy Beck 21:37
It almost feels more you're more connected to the word on the page. 

Alicia Bloss 21:41
Right. 

Damian Bloss 21:41
Yeah, because I could actually let those feelings out and there was nobody to judge me at that point. Even if I wasn't going to publish that book, nobody could judge me for what I'm writing. And yeah, so who is? 

Wendy Beck 21:54
Beautiful thing, 

Damian Bloss 21:54
It 

Wendy Beck 21:55
truly. 

Damian Bloss 21:55
really is. 

Rich Bennett 21:56
You knew, Elise, you would type it out for you when you were finished, Emily. 

Alicia Bloss 21:59
Actually, in his defense, he typed 

Damian Bloss 22:00
Because my 

Alicia Bloss 22:00
it out 

Damian Bloss 22:01
girl. 

Alicia Bloss 22:01
the first time, but the second multiple times is when I went back and I retyped the exhibit. 

Damian Bloss 22:07
My grammar is horrible. 

Alicia Bloss 22:08
Horrible grammar. 

Damian Bloss 22:09
English. My English teacher from high school would be so disappointed, but. So. 

Wendy Beck 22:15
But that's not what it's about. 

Damian Bloss 22:17
Right? 

Wendy Beck 22:17
Story. 

Damian Bloss 22:18
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 22:18
And honestly, we all have different learning disabilities or, you know, education levels, but that does not stop what you had inside of you to tell 

Damian Bloss 22:26
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 22:26
everybody. So I like that. 

Rich Bennett 22:29
I just got laugh at Alisha. I've never heard that. Second, multiple time. 

Alicia Bloss 22:35
It was multiple times after. 

Rich Bennett 22:37
It's a Wendy is. Two isms because Wendy comes up with. 

Alicia Bloss 22:41
The most random is the things. 

Wendy Beck 22:43
Backwards kind of. 

Rich Bennett 22:45
Like that's the soup and stuff like. 

Alicia Bloss 22:47
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 22:48
Yes, that happens. 

Alicia Bloss 22:49
Multiple times. 

Rich Bennett 22:51
You all should get together. 

Wendy Beck 22:52
Well, it's us. It's. It's the Irish. 

Alicia Bloss 22:54
Ahead. 

Wendy Beck 22:54
Irish. Irish Cussing women. 

Alicia Bloss 22:58
Sometimes we 

Wendy Beck 22:59
You 

Alicia Bloss 22:59
have 

Wendy Beck 22:59
have 

Alicia Bloss 23:00
to 

Wendy Beck 23:00
to come up with 

Alicia Bloss 23:00
live 

Wendy Beck 23:00
other 

Alicia Bloss 23:00
our 

Wendy Beck 23:00
words, 

Alicia Bloss 23:00
word so we don't 

Wendy Beck 23:01
right? 

Alicia Bloss 23:01
all of the. 

Wendy Beck 23:02
Yes. Yes. She's. I love her. 

Alicia Bloss 23:05
Say. 

Damian Bloss 23:05
Kind of makes sense, I guess. 

Rich Bennett 23:06
Why? Shirley MacLaine. 

Damian Bloss 23:09
It's like girl math, I guess. 

Rich Bennett 23:11
Like, why? 

Damian Bloss 23:12
That. 

Alicia Bloss 23:13
Q Very much. 

Rich Bennett 23:14
Girl. What in the world? 

Alicia Bloss 23:15
know a girl. Math. 

Rich Bennett 23:16
No. 

Alicia Bloss 23:17
Yes. So when you have if you go and buy something for 50 bucks, right, you're off the $50, but you go back to the store and you return it. You can just buy something because you already had $50 just sitting there because you're returning it and get the money back. That's girl math. 

Rich Bennett 23:31
What? 

Alicia Bloss 23:32
Trust me, it works. 

Rich Bennett 23:35
It may explain to. Do what now? 

Alicia Bloss 23:38
You buy something and you go back to the 

Wendy Beck 23:41
And 

Alicia Bloss 23:41
you 

Wendy Beck 23:41
you return 

Alicia Bloss 23:41
return. 

Wendy Beck 23:41
it. 

Alicia Bloss 23:42
Technically, that's 

Wendy Beck 23:43
That's 

Alicia Bloss 23:43
free 

Wendy Beck 23:43
for 

Alicia Bloss 23:43
money that you're getting 

Wendy Beck 23:45
getting 

Alicia Bloss 23:45
back, 

Wendy Beck 23:45
back. 

Alicia Bloss 23:45
that you can just spend it. In the store. 

Wendy Beck 23:50
Girl math. 

Alicia Bloss 23:51
Girl math. 

Trust me, it works. 

Wendy Beck 23:56
I like the theory. I like it. 

Damian Bloss 23:58
I just nod and smile. 

Alicia Bloss 23:59
He does. 

Rich Bennett 24:01
Go through this all the time. 

Alicia Bloss 24:02
Yes. 

Damian Bloss 24:02
Yes. 

Alicia Bloss 24:03
We've got three girls to. 

Rich Bennett 24:05
Oh. 

Alicia Bloss 24:06
Yeah. Three girls. We have a 20, 22, 18 and 13, and we have two grandkids and one 

Wendy Beck 24:13
Grandkid on the way. 

Alicia Bloss 24:14
way. 

Wendy Beck 24:14
Oh, wow. 

Alicia Bloss 24:15
One grandson ran a granddaughter and two grandsons. 

Wendy Beck 24:21
is the how are the book sales going? I mean, is it getting out there? I mean, are you selling? 

Damian Bloss 24:26
Yeah. So it did much better than I expected it to. Because, look, I'm a nobody. I didn't expect it to even sell. But, you know, one copy to my family. 

Wendy Beck 24:37
Right. I got it. 

Damian Bloss 24:38
So in the way I looked at it is that as long as people. 

Wendy Beck 24:44
Getting 

Damian Bloss 24:45
Like. However they get it, I don't care. But it actually did much better than I thought in. Yeah. And so, like, what I've been doing too, is, um, the money that I did make from the, the first. Quarter because I've only gotten paid out for the first quarter so far. So that money just went right back to the printer for them to ship me more, print me more and ship me more books so I could distribute them to the jail, to the rehab. 

Wendy Beck 25:16
Love that I. 

Damian Bloss 25:17
And Yeah, and stuff like that. 

Wendy Beck 25:18
Yeah. When I'm done mine, I'll give it to our ladies as well. 

Damian Bloss 25:21
Yeah, absolutely. 

Wendy Beck 25:21
So. 

Rich Bennett 25:22
With his first book. 

Wendy Beck 25:23
I don't know. I'm not sure about that. 

Rich Bennett 25:28
So you. 

Wendy Beck 25:29
You said also 

Rich Bennett 25:30
So 

Wendy Beck 25:30
this 

Rich Bennett 25:30
this isn't 

Wendy Beck 25:30
is. 

Rich Bennett 25:30
self-published. 

Damian Bloss 25:31
It is self-published, but it's through an actual publishing company. 

Wendy Beck 25:35
They have like. 

Damian Bloss 25:36
Hmm. 

Wendy Beck 25:36
Publishing department or something like that. Like, did they do both? 

Damian Bloss 25:40
Yeah, they do both. So they take and do all the work for you. They distribute it. They print it. And all I have to do is send them an email. Hey, I need 50 books, or I can only get them in 50 increments. So I need 50 or 100. And he's like, okay, cool. Puts the order in. I get my books in like four weeks. They they put the whole biography together on Amazon and Barnes 

Wendy Beck 26:11
Okay. 

Damian Bloss 26:12
and. 

Wendy Beck 26:12
Starting next. 

Damian Bloss 26:13
Wal-Mart. Yes. So 

Wendy Beck 26:14
Have you contacted the Barnes and Noble up here to do a book signing? 

Damian Bloss 26:17
I have. 

Wendy Beck 26:18
That would be a really great idea. 

Damian Bloss 26:20
And I thought about it and I was like, been wrestling with it only because should I do it. Because I'm not a No, I'm not. 

Wendy Beck 26:29
Course you should do it. 

Damian Bloss 26:30
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 26:30
Of course. 

Damian Bloss 26:31
Because. Yes, 

Wendy Beck 26:31
Unless, 

Damian Bloss 26:32
I 

Wendy Beck 26:32
of 

Damian Bloss 26:32
was 

Wendy Beck 26:32
course. 

Damian Bloss 26:32
always. 

Wendy Beck 26:33
Why? 

Damian Bloss 26:33
Why would somebody 

Wendy Beck 26:33
For a local author, 

Damian Bloss 26:35
there? 

Wendy Beck 26:35
you are serving this community. So I absolutely think you should do that. 

Damian Bloss 26:40
Awesome. 

Wendy Beck 26:40
I mean, I think that your following from your your group and your recovery story, I mean, there's there's endless possibilities of ways to promote it. I would say definitely do it. And I'm going to have you sign my copy, too, before you leave. 

Damian Bloss 26:55
Awesome. 

Wendy Beck 26:57
So I can sell it on them. 

Rich Bennett 26:58
Going to be selling this like crazy. And I'm. I'm the. 

Damian Bloss 27:03
Okay. 

Rich Bennett 27:04
We just got to get you hooked up with. 

Wendy Beck 27:07
Right? Yeah. You know, I. 

I don't. Sorry. 

Rich Bennett 27:15
He needs to get on other podcasts or. 

Wendy Beck 27:16
Oh, yeah. 

Alicia Bloss 27:17
Yeah. Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 27:17
Yeah. This is a good. A good launching point for that. I mean, I think that your story. 

Is unique because you are holding on to something for so long that just consumed you. And that was trauma. That 

Damian Bloss 27:33
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 27:33
truly was trauma. I mean, I don't know. You know, I will know more when I read it, but I mean, that had to be incredibly difficult for you. 

Damian Bloss 27:41
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 27:43
You're listening to the conversations with Rich Bennett. We'll be right back. 

Rich & Wendy 27:50
Wendy, I understand that Rage against Addiction is doing something very important. A monthly donor program. Can you tell us a little bit about that? Absolutely. We are hoping to get our supporters to join us in providing a monthly donation. It can be $5 or it can be more whatever you can afford. Really allows us to help plan and increase our fundraising efforts. Well, why should people become a monthly donor? What are they doing to help? Their monthly contributions? Let us plan for long term projects and respond quickly when urgent needs arise. And I'll give you an example. We had the need for a new mattress, right? And we've also had urgent needs for refrigerators and washing machines and all of that kind of stuff that comes up. So they tend to need to be replaced. And our women deserve to have the things that they need. So with the monthly donor program, technically, anybody can do it for any amount either because Rage Against Addiction always needs something. I know I've known you for years now, and there's times you've told me you guys needed furniture, unique clothes. And also you're not getting the grants that you used to or the contributions that you used to. So this monthly donor program will definitely help a lot. Yes. So somebody becomes a monthly donor. What is there anything that they're getting in return besides, of course, helping those that need it? I know you guys have like an excellent newsletter where they automatically subscribe to our newsletter so you'll know what's going on. You can kind of track our progress here. Success stories, know the data, and like how many women we serve each year and just be a part of something bigger. So with this tool, I guess they're also going to be because of the newsletter, they're going to be one of the first ones to find out about events coming up, like the memory walk and run the Basket Bingo and any other future events that you're doing, the podcast that you do. Yes. So they're going to be tied in right away. Yes. All right. So how can they become a monthly donor? You can go to our Web site and that is Rage Against Addiction, dot org and go to our donate button. And on there, you will have the option to become a monthly donor. And you can put in any amount that you want your commitment, big or small, empowers our mission and changes lives every single day. Visit us at Rage Against Addiction dot org to become a reoccurring donor and join us in making a lasting impact. Thank you for your compassion, generosity and belief in a brighter future. Together, we can make a difference. Join us today. 

Rich Bennett 30:54
Actually, do you have the ability to record from home and will you do zoom calls from home? Right. Or. 

Damian Bloss 30:59
Yeah. No, I can do Zoom calls. 

Rich Bennett 31:01
Webcam, microphone, headphones, all that. 

Damian Bloss 31:03
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 31:05
And why was. 

Damian Bloss 31:06
Oh, yeah. We don't have headphones, but. 

Rich Bennett 31:08
Earbuds. 

Alicia Bloss 31:08
Figure 

Damian Bloss 31:08
Yeah. 

Alicia Bloss 31:08
it out. 

Damian Bloss 31:09
Yeah. It out. 

Rich Bennett 31:10
Your monitors. 

Damian Bloss 31:13
2024. This came out. 

Rich Bennett 31:14
24. Okay. 

Wendy Beck 31:16
It was not even a year old. I would definitely contact the local bookstores and see if you can. You'd be like, Look, I have copies and you promote it on your page and then, you know, be there and people will come in and you can sign in. 

Damian Bloss 31:28
I did because. 

Wendy Beck 31:29
Community. 

Damian Bloss 31:29
Yeah. And like I said, I thought about doing that. But I think the the whole addict in me or alcoholic in me still had those tendencies that I'm not good enough for that. 

Wendy Beck 31:41
It's called impostor 

Damian Bloss 31:42
Yes. 

Wendy Beck 31:42
syndrome. 

Damian Bloss 31:42
Yes. 

Wendy Beck 31:43
And. 

Damian Bloss 31:43
And I was getting ready to get to that. 

Wendy Beck 31:44
Finitely 

Damian Bloss 31:44
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 31:45
are good enough. So 

Damian Bloss 31:45
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 31:46
your story is is your story. 

Damian Bloss 31:49
Thank you. 

Rich Bennett 31:50
Actually, what I want you to do, too, is come to one of the Lions Club meetings and talk about and I'll invite people from the community. Out and bring your book and hopefully you can. 

Wendy Beck 32:01
I have an idea. 

Rich Bennett 32:02
Oh, well. 

Wendy Beck 32:03
Would you like to speak at the Rage Against Addiction Memory Walk? 

Damian Bloss 32:06
Absolutely. 

Wendy Beck 32:07
Okay. No, I'm serious. 

Damian Bloss 32:08
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 32:09
Yeah, we're looking for speakers, and I think that this would be perfect. 

Damian Bloss 32:12
Absolutely. 

Wendy Beck 32:13
And so if you want, you could even bring a resource, have a resource table and and sell some of there if you want as well. I think that's a fabulous idea. 

Rich Bennett 32:21
You guys came? Pets. 

Damian Bloss 32:22
We have a cat. 

Rich Bennett 32:23
Okay. June 14th, we have a pet festival set up there. 

Wendy Beck 32:27
Was just like, Where does this going? 

Alicia Bloss 32:29
Well, not. 

Rich Bennett 32:29
No, seriously. 

Alicia Bloss 32:30
But he's he's mentioned a couple of times. He's like, when or if we just go to like some of these like festivals or whatever. 

Wendy Beck 32:35
Yeah. 

Alicia Bloss 32:37
So we jokingly because what 

Wendy Beck 32:39
Is 

Alicia Bloss 32:39
is. 

Wendy Beck 32:39
it the Essex? 

Damian Bloss 32:40
Oh. Essex Day Festival. 

Alicia Bloss 32:42
A six day. So he like he he grew up in that area. I'm not going to that. I'm like, But if we set up a booth there. 

Rich Bennett 32:49
Huh? 

Wendy Beck 32:50
What we can do is April 12th, if you're available, you just come. I'll have you sign up as a resource table and then you can be a speaker. We usually have, I don't know, we try to we try to get a, you know, maybe three speakers in the open. 

Rich Bennett 33:05
Oh, I thought you told about how many people were there. 

Wendy Beck 33:07
Yeah, well, it ranges. I mean, it fluctuates depending 

Rich Bennett 33:10
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 33:10
on the weather, but yeah, I think, I think I can set you up with a speaking engagement for that. 

Rich Bennett 33:16
I was 

Wendy Beck 33:16
Story. 

Rich Bennett 33:16
here first. 

Wendy Beck 33:17
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 33:18
We're doing it different this year. It's not just about the pets. It's about we don't. But the pitch. 

Wendy Beck 33:24
It's. 

Rich Bennett 33:26
The ones that the pets have on a leash. So technically their owners. 

Alicia Bloss 33:29
So us. 

Rich Bennett 33:30
Yeah. Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 33:33
You put in your phone number. 

Rich Bennett 33:34
So when you're. Read the book. What was their first reaction? 

Damian Bloss 33:39
Well, my mom, um, she, uh, she cried and sued me was like. 

Rich Bennett 33:47
They didn't do the whole. 

Damian Bloss 33:47
She had no idea. And she was like, you know, that's exactly what she said when she got to that part. Like, Well, I had no idea that you. Held all this in. And, you know, why didn't you say anything? And, you know, I had to explain to her why I didn't. But, you know, it was like at that point she realized, like there was just something that. 

She was missing or, you know, that maybe she wasn't missing. So because I don't blame her for not asking me and, you know, things like that. But yeah, so she was she was very upset. My my dad as well. And I also wanted them to know that it's not about him and it's not that he I'm not blaming him for what happened to me, 

Rich Bennett 34:39
You 

Damian Bloss 34:39
but. 

Rich Bennett 34:39
talk about your father or your 

Damian Bloss 34:41
The family member that did. It did. I wanted them to know, too, that, you know, the story really isn't about him, but he's part of my story. 

Rich Bennett 34:49
right. 

Damian Bloss 34:49
I have to tell it. So, like, that is not I'm not I'm not putting blame on anybody like that. That was just my starting point of my self-destruction. And, you know, they very upset. Very upset. 

Rich Bennett 35:02
So when you were writing this, what was the hardest part to write for you? I mean, very emotional when all you just. 

Damian Bloss 35:12
I think getting down to it brought all those emotions back. It put me back in that spot where I was in that house again 

Rich Bennett 35:22
Right. 

Damian Bloss 35:23
in the scene. You know, the horrific scene. I won't get into details, but yeah, it was a horrific scene. And just what I felt in that moment. All 

Rich Bennett 35:35
Yeah. 

Damian Bloss 35:36
those feelings started coming back. But it at this point, it wasn't the feeling coming back to where I need to go out and just drink again. It was the feelings of finally, finally I can let this out and finally I can show everybody why you know, what was going on with me and let them know that this stuff was really happening and you had no clue. 

Wendy Beck 36:03
Can I ask a question? 

Damian Bloss 36:04
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 36:05
How long after he told you? Did it happen? 

Damian Bloss 36:10
It was months, actually, 

Wendy Beck 36:12
Okay, 

Damian Bloss 36:13
because. 

Wendy Beck 36:13
so. Even when someone would say that, you probably 

Rich Bennett 36:16
don't 

Wendy Beck 36:16
wouldn't 

Rich Bennett 36:16
think? 

Wendy Beck 36:16
even. 

Damian Bloss 36:17
Yeah, because she would. 

Wendy Beck 36:17
How to digest something like that. 

Damian Bloss 36:20
Exactly, because he would always say, Oh, I'm just joking or don't tell anybody because I'm just joking. 

Wendy Beck 36:25
How old were you? 

Damian Bloss 36:26
I was a it was between 18 and 19 years old, and I was 19 when he actually did it. 

Wendy Beck 36:31
Okay. That's heavy stuff. 

Damian Bloss 36:33
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 36:34
Lee. 

Damian Bloss 36:34
Yeah. And, you know, it was when I look back, I'm like, like now I know what to look for, you know, in others in my brain. 

Wendy Beck 36:44
Right now. 

Damian Bloss 36:45
But back then I look back and I'm like, There's no way you would have been able to tell because it took so long for him to do it. It was much. He would say, I'm just joking. And people would joke, I guess, you know, about that stuff. And I've never had anybody joke with me about. 

Rich Bennett 37:00
It's not. It's not a joke. 

Damian Bloss 37:02
Yeah. No, not at all. But like, you know. 

Wendy Beck 37:05
You're not a professional. 

Damian Bloss 37:06
Exactly. 

Wendy Beck 37:07
What would you do? You know. 

Damian Bloss 37:08
Right. 

Rich Bennett 37:08
Well, the thing is, just from my own experience. Because twice I. 

Wendy Beck 37:15
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 37:18
And a lot of times people just say, Oh, he's just looking. 

Wendy Beck 37:19
Looking for attention. Yeah. 

Damian Bloss 37:20
Yeah, that too. 

Rich Bennett 37:22
That's what it is. But the first time it was my older brother. Really? I guess you could say. Life. 

Damian Bloss 37:31
Right. 

Rich Bennett 37:31
The second time is Iran. 

Wendy Beck 37:33
guess it is because. 

Rich Bennett 37:34
As I was, I had. Everything because of at the time you. 

Wendy Beck 37:40
Young lady. 

Rich Bennett 37:41
With who decided, you know, we don't shouldn't do it anymore. And she's the one that walked. More or less saved my life to. It's. Yeah, it's weird. A lot of people. 

Wendy Beck 37:52
It would just be like. 

Rich Bennett 37:53
Yeah. Yeah, he's just joking. Or he just wants the attention. 

Damian Bloss 37:57
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 37:57
And nowadays, especially, it just. 

Wendy Beck 38:02
Well, nowadays it's a lot different when 

Damian Bloss 38:04
It is. 

Wendy Beck 38:04
this when he went through that, that wasn't something that anybody 

Rich Bennett 38:07
No. 

Wendy Beck 38:08
ever talked about 

Damian Bloss 38:09
Right? 

Wendy Beck 38:09
at all 

Damian Bloss 38:10
Not. 

Wendy Beck 38:10
that. 

Rich Bennett 38:10
No. 

Wendy Beck 38:10
Taboo subject. And you probably were like, Okay. 

Damian Bloss 38:14
Yeah, because. 

Wendy Beck 38:15
I'm not saying I know how you reacted, but I couldn't even imagine, like my daughter who's that age 19 right now, if she had to. That would be a lot for someone 

Damian Bloss 38:24
Oh, 

Wendy Beck 38:24
at 

Damian Bloss 38:24
yeah. 

Wendy Beck 38:25
that age. 

Damian Bloss 38:25
Absolutely. 

Wendy Beck 38:26
Absorb. 

Damian Bloss 38:27
Especially because of how long it took. But the thing was, is that I remember going over to his house that morning of the night that he was going to do it. And you know, something just I remember feeling something different. But it never clicked. So he was at the dining room table and it was just like six, six in the morning, seven in the morning. And he had already been drinking and 

Wendy Beck 38:52
Two, 

Damian Bloss 38:52
I. 

Wendy Beck 38:52
alcohol was involved. 

Damian Bloss 38:53
It was in. I remember that it wasn't as bad until those months when he started actually talking about it. That's when the alcohol started getting worse. And then that morning, I'm off to work. I'm getting ready to go to work. And I would sometimes stop over to his house before. So I did. And he was like, this is going to be the time. And I'm like, I was like, Come on, man. Like, I'm going to work. Don't let me go to work like this. You're not going to do anything. Just wait until I get out of work and then, you know, I'll come over, will do whatever. And I never went over that that night. And it was like, That's the night we got that call. 

Wendy Beck 39:34
Right. So there's a lot of guilt that's. 

Damian Bloss 39:36
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 39:37
Associated with that. And, you know, I know I've been around individuals in very, very intoxicated states where that situation and their mind does go there, like 

Damian Bloss 39:48
Mm 

Wendy Beck 39:49
you 

Damian Bloss 39:49
hmm. 

Wendy Beck 39:49
said, for yourself personally, where. 

It's almost like they're. That is the only way that they can know. You know, you're probably thinking if he would have gotten sober or he would have started talking to a cow or whatever, that underlying thing was happening. And then you're like, But I knew how could I have stopped it? But, you know, you know that that's not. 

Damian Bloss 40:09
Right. 

Wendy Beck 40:10
You could have prevented. 

Damian Bloss 40:11
Yeah, exactly. 

Rich Bennett 40:13
And I, we just had this happened well, this past April. 

Behind us where we're. God. 

Wendy Beck 40:24
I took his own life. 

Damian Bloss 40:25
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. 

Rich Bennett 40:26
The. 

Wendy Beck 40:27
The. 

Rich Bennett 40:27
Young man. I was just up here. 

Wendy Beck 40:29
Make sure you put a trigger warning on this episode. Okay. 

Rich Bennett 40:32
So he called. We had a meeting the night before. 

Wendy Beck 40:35
Quick calls. Get in the next 

Rich Bennett 40:36
They. 

Wendy Beck 40:36
day. Hey, Rob. 

Rich Bennett 40:37
Rocker. You've been up to the clubhouse. I know. I said it's a crime scene. My first thought was somebody painted graffiti on the building. 

Damian Bloss 40:43
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 40:44
He said no. They found the body, apparently. 

Wendy Beck 40:46
What? 

Rich Bennett 40:46
They always make. A long story short, the guy. I ended up knowing him since school. Excuse me, but I had no idea. And I held that guilt because we talk about it on the podcast. 

Damian Bloss 41:02
Mm hmm. 

Rich Bennett 41:02
He's like, Why didn't he reach out to me? Why didn't he reach out to you? 

Damian Bloss 41:06
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 41:07
When's the last time you talked to? High school. 

Wendy Beck 41:10
Yeah, exactly. 

Rich Bennett 41:12
Was it? You told me that. 

Wendy Beck 41:13
I don't know. I don't think so. I'm not sure. Yeah, I did. Was that a good thing? 

Rich Bennett 41:19
I can't remember. Oh, 

Alicia Bloss 41:20
Worked 

Rich Bennett 41:20
yes, 

Alicia Bloss 41:20
and it was 

Rich Bennett 41:20
did. 

Alicia Bloss 41:20
definitely her 

Rich Bennett 41:21
It's 

Alicia Bloss 41:21
that 

Rich Bennett 41:21
like. 

Alicia Bloss 41:21
said it. 

Wendy Beck 41:22
Right. You're right. 

Rich Bennett 41:23
Right. It's like I. 

Damian Bloss 41:25
I shouldn't be. But we do as human beings. We do. It's like. 

Rich Bennett 41:29
Because you feel like there's something you could have done. But a lot of times there's not. 

Damian Bloss 41:33
Right. 

Rich Bennett 41:33
You know. 

Damian Bloss 41:34
Right. 

Rich Bennett 41:34
So, Alisha, when you first read the book, not the. 

Alicia Bloss 41:39
Not the. 

Rich Bennett 41:40
Not the multiple times, not the second multiple times of. 

You woke. 

Wendy Beck 41:45
Did you and did you know the back story before you? 

Alicia Bloss 41:47
Yes. Yes. I think, you know, I think I'm pretty much the only person. 

Wendy Beck 41:51
That surprised 

Alicia Bloss 41:53
Nothing in that book was a 

Wendy Beck 41:54
surprised 

Alicia Bloss 41:54
surprise to 

Wendy Beck 41:54
me 

Alicia Bloss 41:54
me when he first write, after he first started writing and whatnot, and he asked me, he was like, Hey, after I'm done doing 

Wendy Beck 42:02
doing. 

Alicia Bloss 42:02
this and I type it all up, I need you to go back through, reread it, you know, fix grammar, stuff like that. 

Wendy Beck 42:10
I said, is there? 

Alicia Bloss 42:10
So as I was going through the book, I did ask him, I said, Is there anything in here that you know? 

Wendy Beck 42:17
To me. 

Alicia Bloss 42:18
Because that's you know, that's going to be a conversation we're going to have to have. 

Rich Bennett 42:22
Right. 

Alicia Bloss 42:22
Before I help you with this. 

Wendy Beck 42:25
He was like, 

Alicia Bloss 42:25
No, 

Wendy Beck 42:25
No. 

Alicia Bloss 42:25
everything is in. 

Wendy Beck 42:26
In there is every. 

Alicia Bloss 42:27
Everything we've talked about. And it was things that were either part of a life that he and I had. 

Wendy Beck 42:32
Had together. 

Alicia Bloss 42:33
Or the things that we talked about, you know, when you're first dating and you. Getting comfortable and stuff. But as I was going through it while it was a release for him and finally he's feeling good and getting it out, I was getting angry all over again because. 

Wendy Beck 42:50
Because of the addiction piece. It 

Alicia Bloss 42:51
It 

Wendy Beck 42:51
was. 

Alicia Bloss 42:51
was. It was. Yes. Yeah, it was mostly. Once you get to the point where, like, the addiction starts taking over my anger for him and for the addict version of him came right back. And I think it took me I think the reason it took as long as it did, because it took me almost three months to get through the whole thing 

Wendy Beck 43:14
Because. 

Alicia Bloss 43:15
is 

Wendy Beck 43:15
Well, it was triggering you. 

Alicia Bloss 43:17
extremely. 

Wendy Beck 43:17
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 43:18
There. 

Wendy Beck 43:18
Yeah. 

Alicia Bloss 43:19
You know, he would I couldn't say it to him at first because I felt like, okay, I just need to get through this myself. I need to figure this out. You know, this isn't who he is anymore. So I need to try to work through it. And then finally, after a couple of weeks, I remember him saying, Well, are you going to help me with my book today? And I was like, Look, this is what. 

Wendy Beck 43:38
Like I. 

Alicia Bloss 43:38
I couldn't do it. 

Wendy Beck 43:39
I need a little space, maybe. Okay. 

Alicia Bloss 43:41
needed to take a break from doing it because. 

Rich Bennett 43:43
No pun intended. 

Alicia Bloss 43:44
Literally like I was ready. I mean, I was just. I was. Done and angry all over again. And it wasn't his fault at that particular time, 

Wendy Beck 43:53
Right. 

Alicia Bloss 43:53
but. 

Wendy Beck 43:53
But I get that. 

Alicia Bloss 43:55
Now that you know, it's been out and everything and I'm I'm, you know, dealt with all of that. 

Wendy Beck 44:00
And. 

Alicia Bloss 44:00
I got to be honest, I haven't read it since since it actually came out and published. Part of me is afraid to read it because 

Wendy Beck 44:07
Because 

Alicia Bloss 44:07
I. 

Wendy Beck 44:07
you don't need to. 

Alicia Bloss 44:08
I'm afraid that I'll feel that anger all over again. And we have worked well. 

Wendy Beck 44:15
Right. 

Alicia Bloss 44:15
Too hard to get through. 

Wendy Beck 44:17
You've healed. Why open the wound? 

Alicia Bloss 44:19
Exactly. 

Rich Bennett 44:20
The thing is, though, 

there's. 

I'm thinking of a sequel more or less already that you should write. 

Alicia Bloss 44:30
That's what he actually. 

Rich Bennett 44:31
Hearing the songs because, I mean, 

Wendy Beck 44:33
Oh, hearing the silence. 

Rich Bennett 44:34
there 

Wendy Beck 44:34
That's 

Rich Bennett 44:34
are. 

Wendy Beck 44:35
good. 

Rich Bennett 44:36
Somebody that's in. But 

Wendy Beck 44:37
When. 

Rich Bennett 44:38
not from. 

Alicia Bloss 44:39
There's not many people. 

Wendy Beck 44:42
Yeah, I was on that side. It's a tough place to be. 

Alicia Bloss 44:45
Why I go with him to places because 

Wendy Beck 44:48
Cause 

Alicia Bloss 44:48
people 

Wendy Beck 44:48
people 

Alicia Bloss 44:49
don't. 

Wendy Beck 44:49
don't hear about it from. 

Alicia Bloss 44:50
Our site. 

Rich Bennett 44:51
Yeah. 

Alicia Bloss 44:51
And people, you know, we have Al-Anon 

Wendy Beck 44:55
To go 

Alicia Bloss 44:56
to go to, but. I've never been to an Al-Anon meeting. 

Rich Bennett 44:59
Right. 

Alicia Bloss 45:00
I really haven't. I've been to AA meetings with him, but I've never. 

Wendy Beck 45:03
Never been to 

Alicia Bloss 45:03
To 

Wendy Beck 45:03
an 

Alicia Bloss 45:03
an 

Wendy Beck 45:03
airplane. 

Alicia Bloss 45:04
at a meeting. And 

Wendy Beck 45:05
And I 

Alicia Bloss 45:05
I 

Wendy Beck 45:05
couldn't 

Alicia Bloss 45:05
couldn't bring myself to do 

Wendy Beck 45:06
do that 

Alicia Bloss 45:06
that 

Wendy Beck 45:06
because 

Alicia Bloss 45:06
because 

Wendy Beck 45:06
I. 

Alicia Bloss 45:06
I felt like it was it still I still wasn't gonna be able to get my side of it. 

Wendy Beck 45:10
Well, why don't we have you speak at the ranch as well? So we have the recovery piece and then we have the family piece. I think that would be awesome. 

Damian Bloss 45:19
Yeah, well, 

Wendy Beck 45:20
Yeah, because I'm actually looking for speaker. So if you're in favor of it, I'm going to 

Damian Bloss 45:25
looting. 

Wendy Beck 45:26
definitely follow up with you. I think that that would be really powerful. 

Damian Bloss 45:29
I think so, too. 

Wendy Beck 45:31
You should. 

Rich Bennett 45:31
Should there. Think about. Right? Right in one. Because nobody. There's not a lot out there from the spouses or family members and all that. The only other one I know of is yours. And that was a children's book. 

Wendy Beck 45:46
Right. 

Rich Bennett 45:48
Now. Any plans on doing this in audio form? 

Damian Bloss 45:53
There was until when I talked to the publishing company. They were like, Yeah. What did they say? 2500 or $3,000? Kidding me. 

Wendy Beck 46:05
For you to read it yourself. 

Rich Bennett 46:06
No, 

Damian Bloss 46:06
No. 

Rich Bennett 46:06
no. Because they want a higher. 

Damian Bloss 46:07
Yeah, they want to. Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 46:09
Okay. 

Damian Bloss 46:10
So there, there was and then it was like yeah, I'm not doing that for. 

Rich Bennett 46:15
Did you ask him if you could do it yourself? 

Damian Bloss 46:17
I did not. I did not. 

Wendy Beck 46:19
I would I would ask him. 

Rich Bennett 46:21
Because anything. Stuff like this when you do it yourself. 

Wendy Beck 46:25
It's not really that long. 

Damian Bloss 46:26
No. 

Rich Bennett 46:27
It's more authentic and. 

Wendy Beck 46:28
And. 

Rich Bennett 46:29
The listener. 

It pulls them in, I think, when they hear from 

Wendy Beck 46:35
And I'm an audiobook fiend. 

Rich Bennett 46:37
media. 

Wendy Beck 46:37
I love them. I'm 

Damian Bloss 46:38
Right. 

Wendy Beck 46:38
in my car. I saw that. I'd listen to it in a heartbeat. I would listen to it way, way sooner than I would have the time to read it. 

Damian Bloss 46:46
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 46:47
Anything is affordable all the time. You can sample it first. So if I if I see if I see this. Oh, man. Okay. Written by Damian. 

Wendy Beck 46:56
It was. 

Rich Bennett 46:56
But then. 

Wendy Beck 46:57
Here. A woman. 

Rich Bennett 47:03
Damien. 

Wendy Beck 47:04
Well, this is this is a memoir, so you want to hear it from I think it has more powerful if you hear it from the actual. 

Rich Bennett 47:10
You should have somebody doing different characters. 

Damian Bloss 47:13
Right. 

Rich Bennett 47:14
You. I would definitely contact the publishing company. 

Wendy Beck 47:19
What's the cost if I do it? 

Rich Bennett 47:20
Shouldn't be. No. 

Damian Bloss 47:21
Yeah. I never even thought about that. 

Rich Bennett 47:22
There should not be any cause except for. 

Damian Bloss 47:25
Distribute distribution, Maybe. 

Wendy Beck 47:27
Attaching it to whatever platform. 

Damian Bloss 47:29
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 47:29
To 

Damian Bloss 47:29
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 47:29
go to, however that works. 

Rich Bennett 47:31
Would you be? 

Wendy Beck 47:32
Spotify. Audible. 

Rich Bennett 47:35
That's right. Spotify does. 

Wendy Beck 47:36
I listen to all my books on Spotify. 

Rich Bennett 47:38
And you can upload them yourselves. Yourselves. You. Shelves of. 

Wendy Beck 47:42
You can. You can. 

Rich Bennett 47:44
Selves. I'm sorry, Alicia. 

Wendy Beck 47:45
What do you mean? You can upload an audiobook yourself on Spotify. 

Rich Bennett 47:49
And on Amazon, I believe. 

Wendy Beck 47:51
All right. 

Rich Bennett 47:52
I'm pretty sure you. 

Wendy Beck 47:53
I'm. 

Rich Bennett 47:53
You can upload a podcast on Spotify. 

Wendy Beck 47:56
Ow! 

Rich Bennett 47:57
Look at Amazon. 

Wendy Beck 47:57
Ow, ow, Ow! 

Damian Bloss 47:57
might have to go with that route then. 

Wendy Beck 47:59
Yeah. Then 

Damian Bloss 48:00
Be 

Wendy Beck 48:00
you're. 

Damian Bloss 48:00
able to just go right through because. This 

Wendy Beck 48:02
Yes. 

Damian Bloss 48:03
is mine. I own the rights to it. I don't have to go through them, technically. 

Rich Bennett 48:06
Verify that first. 

Wendy Beck 48:07
Yes. 

Damian Bloss 48:07
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 48:08
Yeah, they might have some life. 

Rich Bennett 48:09
lot of publishing companies because you went through them, have the rights. 

Damian Bloss 48:13
Yeah, that's true. 

Wendy Beck 48:14
Of some sort. 

Damian Bloss 48:15
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 48:15
Who knows what. But. 

Rich Bennett 48:16
Yeah. So you definitely to look into that. 

Wendy Beck 48:20
Well, I'm excited. This was a win win for me because now I got two awesome people to come to. 

Damian Bloss 48:24
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 48:24
You're welcome. She always questions. 

Wendy Beck 48:28
It's always about me. I'm just kidding. 

Damian Bloss 48:34
No, I absolutely love this. I appreciate you guys bringing us on and, you know, having us do this. And now I have to do others that, you know, I can bounce ideas off of and 

Rich Bennett 48:47
Do. 

Damian Bloss 48:47
build a friendship. Build a friendship. I love this. 

Wendy Beck 48:50
And you're going to bring the book to the ranch. 

Rich Bennett 48:52
This 

Wendy Beck 48:52
If 

Rich Bennett 48:53
is 

Wendy Beck 48:53
it's 

Rich Bennett 48:53
good, 

Wendy Beck 48:53
raining, I would not say don't bring them. But you know. But 

Rich Bennett 48:56
huh? 

Wendy Beck 48:57
if it's raining, you know, get all wet. 

Rich Bennett 48:59
Place a bang. 

Wendy Beck 49:02
But I'm excited 

Rich Bennett 49:03
And 

Wendy Beck 49:03
I'll 

Rich Bennett 49:03
it. 

Wendy Beck 49:03
how my team. We have our first speakers. 

Damian Bloss 49:05
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 49:06
Never asked 

Damian Bloss 49:06
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 49:06
me. 

Wendy Beck 49:12
About 

Alicia Bloss 49:12
About 

Wendy Beck 49:12
what? 

Alicia Bloss 49:12
what? 

Wendy Beck 49:13
Well, what? 

Rich Bennett 49:16
How you always give me a hard number. 

Wendy Beck 49:18
Well, they already know that. The whole world knows that. 

Rich Bennett 49:21
All right, So. 

Wendy Beck 49:22
You know it. 

Rich Bennett 49:22
No, I'm not going to pass it to 

Wendy Beck 49:24
I 

Rich Bennett 49:24
I 

Wendy Beck 49:24
want 

Rich Bennett 49:24
want to 

Wendy Beck 49:24
to 

Rich Bennett 49:24
ask 

Wendy Beck 49:24
ask 

Rich Bennett 49:25
Alicia. 

Wendy Beck 49:25
Alisha. Tell our listeners why you buy this. 

Alicia Bloss 49:32
As we as we always say, if you can just reach one person and it is a story of one man who. 

Legitimately, nobody would have believed that he was an addict just by looking at him. You would 

Wendy Beck 49:50
Would 

Alicia Bloss 49:50
never 

Wendy Beck 49:50
never. 

Alicia Bloss 49:51
guess that, you know, alcohol had literally taken over his life up until maybe the last year or so. You know, he's clean cut. He took care of himself. I hid everything from everyone. And. 

Wendy Beck 50:05
Protecting him. 

Alicia Bloss 50:06
Protecting him. 

Wendy Beck 50:07
Because I knew. 

Alicia Bloss 50:08
You deep down that this wasn't who he was. You know, when we first got together, he saved my life just by being in my life. And I knew that over the time that we were together, I couldn't just let him go. I couldn't just let the alcohol control him. Everybody else, I thought had given up on him. And so because, you know, he he did everything that we hit, everything pretty much from everybody. When you look at an alcoholic, you expect them or any type of addict you expect them to be. 

Wendy Beck 50:44
Be. 

Alicia Bloss 50:44
You know, disheveled, dirty, you know, drunk all the time. And he really wasn't until he was. And so that's one of the things that's reason why, you know, we call it Breaking the Silence and why we we wanted the cover of it to kind of look like, you know, with no face. Because addiction really doesn't have a face and it could be your next door neighbor. Who knows? 

Wendy Beck 51:11
And 

Alicia Bloss 51:11
And 

Wendy Beck 51:12
so. 

Alicia Bloss 51:12
so I want people to to read it and understand that addiction doesn't. 

Damian Bloss 51:18
Discrimination. 

Alicia Bloss 51:19
Discriminate. 

Wendy Beck 51:20
And we like to say every rage against addiction. No family is immune. That's our that's like our tagline. Yeah, because it's so true. And, you know, I you know, I don't know if you know anything about rage or my story, but, you know. I lost my daughter and I was also married. And I commend you for being able to stick through all of that with him because it is not an easy task and not everybody makes it to the other side with their spouse. So congratulations on that. It's very, very inspiring, inspiring thing. And it's made me cry. But no, it is. It is, because it's it's a tough road. It's a really tough road. 

Alicia Bloss 52:02
And I don't hold anybody at fault if a spouse, partner or even family if you have to back away from that addict. I see nothing wrong with, you know, eliminating a part of your life at that moment that is causing you physical and emotional pain. 

Wendy Beck 52:19
Yes, I agree with that. 

Alicia Bloss 52:21
And I don't fault anybody. 

Wendy Beck 52:22
For doing that. 

Alicia Bloss 52:23
And I just couldn't do it. But the day that he decided to get sober, when I had my car had broken down, I went to pick up my daughter at her dad's house and my car broke down in the driveway. So I had to call my sister in law to come pick me up because he couldn't pick 

Rich Bennett 52:40
Wow. 

Alicia Bloss 52:40
me. 

Wendy Beck 52:41
Right. 

Alicia Bloss 52:42
And when I got home, I told the girls to go right upstairs and I slammed my stuff down on my jaw. We don't we really don't argue. Even during all of that. He tried. He tried to argue with me. But I'm just not the type of person that's going to sit there and yell at. 

Wendy Beck 52:58
Right. It doesn't really help anyway. Yeah. 

Alicia Bloss 53:01
And so I slammed my stuff down and I kind of like pushed him up against the wall. And his mom was standing right there and. 

Wendy Beck 53:08
I told. 

Alicia Bloss 53:09
told him I was like, You either get your shit together now or I'm going upstairs and I'm packing your stuff up and I don't care where I'm taking you, but I will drop you off. It'll be either your brother's house, my brother's house, or I'll drive you down North Carolina and drop you off at my dad's house. I don't give a shit. 

Rich Bennett 53:21
Wow. 

Alicia Bloss 53:22
I said, But I'm not living like this anymore. I don't deserve this. And he stood there and he looked at me and he said, I already called. 

Wendy Beck 53:30
No. All good. 

Alicia Bloss 53:32
Going on the 18th, and I just broke. I just broke down because, you know, that was the first time in ten years that I believed him, that he was actually going to do something about it. And so that that whole month, I mean, when I dropped him off at Ashley and I got home, I cried the hardest. I had cried since my mom had passed away a couple of years before that because I didn't have. 

Wendy Beck 53:59
It was a release. Yeah. 

Alicia Bloss 54:01
I knew he was safe. I knew some. 

Wendy Beck 54:02
Well, that's the number one thing. We are so excited when our loved ones go to treatment because we can get to sleep. We get 

Alicia Bloss 54:10
Oh, 

Wendy Beck 54:10
to sleep 

Alicia Bloss 54:10
it was. 

Wendy Beck 54:11
easily. 

Alicia Bloss 54:13
Higher life. 

Wendy Beck 54:13
Hell, yeah, I. I hear you. 

Alicia Bloss 54:16
Side of the bed were still nice and neat and perched. 

Wendy Beck 54:18
And 

Alicia Bloss 54:19
Now 

Wendy Beck 54:19
now. 

Alicia Bloss 54:19
when I wake. 

Wendy Beck 54:20
He's got all 

Alicia Bloss 54:20
The blankets 

Wendy Beck 54:20
the 

Alicia Bloss 54:21
on his side. And, you know, I'm left with hardly anything. 

Wendy Beck 54:24
things. 

Alicia Bloss 54:24
But, you know, it's okay. 

Rich Bennett 54:29
Girl, man. 

Alicia Bloss 54:29
Come on. 

Damian Bloss 54:29
Yes. 

Alicia Bloss 54:30
You know that. 

Wendy Beck 54:30
Oh, yeah, girl. Math. 

Damian Bloss 54:32
Exaggerated. 

Alicia Bloss 54:33
No, that is 

Damian Bloss 54:33
These 

Alicia Bloss 54:33
true, 

Damian Bloss 54:33
ads are. 

Alicia Bloss 54:34
sir. 

Wendy Beck 54:35
But no, that's a that's you know, that's an awesome story. And thank you for doing all this. I can't wait to read it. 

Damian Bloss 54:43
Absolutely. 

Wendy Beck 54:44
I'm going to. 

Damian Bloss 54:44
Q. 

Rich Bennett 54:45
Where they can get the book besides. Everything 

Damian Bloss 54:47
Everything. 

Rich Bennett 54:48
you. 

Damian Bloss 54:49
Yeah. Amazon, Barnes Noble, Walmart, Target, any any online retailer. It's only online right now, but Amazon and Barnes have been the most popular. 

Wendy Beck 55:01
Okay. 

Rich Bennett 55:01
Do you have a Web site for you? 

Damian Bloss 55:03
I do not. Just the the web or the Facebook page. We have the link tree. So if you click on the link tree it gives you, it'll take you to 

Wendy Beck 55:12
Okay. 

Damian Bloss 55:13
the link. 

Wendy Beck 55:13
Okay. 

Damian Bloss 55:14
Um. 

Alicia Bloss 55:14
I thought about doing Tik 

Wendy Beck 55:16
Tick 

Alicia Bloss 55:16
Tok 

Wendy Beck 55:16
tock 

Alicia Bloss 55:16
as 

Wendy Beck 55:16
as 

Alicia Bloss 55:16
well, 

Wendy Beck 55:16
well. 

Alicia Bloss 55:17
but 

Wendy Beck 55:17
But 

Alicia Bloss 55:17
I 

Wendy Beck 55:17
I 

Alicia Bloss 55:17
got 

Wendy Beck 55:17
got to 

Alicia Bloss 55:17
to be 

Wendy Beck 55:17
be honest. I'm I'm horrible 

Alicia Bloss 55:18
horrible. Where? 

Wendy Beck 55:19
with. 

Alicia Bloss 55:20
Videos and stuff. And he is kind of uncomfortable when you're like record, like video recording. He's like, What does it look like? And I'm. Fine. So I kind of gave up on the whole Tick-Tock thing. But, you know. 

Rich Bennett 55:33
The figure. 

Wendy Beck 55:33
I. 

Alicia Bloss 55:33
I know how it works. On it all the time. And I've made videos, but, you know. 

Wendy Beck 55:38
Not 

Alicia Bloss 55:38
Not in 

Wendy Beck 55:39
in the. 

Alicia Bloss 55:39
the sense that, you know where we need to bring people in. 

Wendy Beck 55:42
It would probably just be. 

Alicia Bloss 55:43
Be humorous with the little. You know this the Snapchat filter. 

Wendy Beck 55:48
On my face. 

Alicia Bloss 55:48
That's 

Wendy Beck 55:48
That's 

Alicia Bloss 55:49
the 

Wendy Beck 55:49
the 

Alicia Bloss 55:49
only. 

Wendy Beck 55:49
way I'll do it. 

Rich Bennett 55:50
Don't worry, I. Saying he's going to blow up. 

Alicia Bloss 55:53
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 55:53
Without a doubt. And. Can't wait for. 

Wendy Beck 55:56
For the. 

Rich Bennett 55:57
Equal. 

Damian Bloss 55:59
We're going to we're going to have to work on this. 

Alicia Bloss 56:01
So we've we've joked about doing an actual 

Rich Bennett 56:03
Oh. 

Alicia Bloss 56:03
sequel but. 

Rich Bennett 56:04
You mean that you. 

Wendy Beck 56:05
The. 

Alicia Bloss 56:05
That I would write. Yeah. He's like, You know, your story's great. Why don't you write? I just write, you know, a. 

Wendy Beck 56:10
Sequel to it 

Alicia Bloss 56:10
And 

Wendy Beck 56:10
now. 

Alicia Bloss 56:10
I'm like, Can I just write my own story where I just get my month away from everybody? Like, can I just start drinking again? And I just go away? He's like, That's not how it works. But that's where your story works. Why won't it work for me? You have to do the other side of this. 

Wendy Beck 56:29
Oh, no, I used to. I used to think the same way. To be honest, I'm like, when. 

Alicia Bloss 56:33
We do? 

Wendy Beck 56:34
When do I get to. When do I get to check out? 

Alicia Bloss 56:36
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 56:37
Not no offense, but. 

Damian Bloss 56:38
No, no, I. 

Alicia Bloss 56:39
Yeah. 

Damian Bloss 56:40
I totally get 

Alicia Bloss 56:40
I've 

Damian Bloss 56:40
it 

Alicia Bloss 56:40
told 

Damian Bloss 56:40
because. 

Alicia Bloss 56:41
him. I don't think it's fair. You got to go away now. I mean, that was when, you know, it was the first year or so and we were trying to really start. We had to learn how to be married all over again because. 

Rich Bennett 56:52
Yeah. 

Alicia Bloss 56:52
We're both sober now, so we both have to learn how to not only love ourselves, but learn to love each other again. And that's one of the things, one of the things I constantly kept. But you got to go away for 28 days. 

Wendy Beck 57:05
Well, you can still go on a retreat. You can go on a women's retreat. 

Alicia Bloss 57:09
I know, but that's just. 

Wendy Beck 57:11
Not the same. 

Rich Bennett 57:16
You feel like you're being teamed up against her? 

Damian Bloss 57:18
Yeah. You know, that's. That's. That's my life. Yeah. 

Right. 

Alicia Bloss 57:23
Oh, 

Damian Bloss 57:23
Right. 

Alicia Bloss 57:24
yeah. 

Damian Bloss 57:24
All I got is the. 

Alicia Bloss 57:25
Girls. 

Damian Bloss 57:25
The cat and the cat. The. 

Alicia Bloss 57:27
That's the boy. 

Damian Bloss 57:27
That's it. That's all I got. 

Rich Bennett 57:29
So have your hair. 

Damian Bloss 57:32
I have no idea. Look, it's all great. Everything's great up here. 

Rich Bennett 57:35
This is. 

Alicia Bloss 57:37
He has gotten more gray. 

Damian Bloss 57:41
More 

Rich Bennett 57:41
Shut 

Damian Bloss 57:41
gray 

Rich Bennett 57:41
up, 

Damian Bloss 57:41
than 

Rich Bennett 57:41
Wendy. 

Damian Bloss 57:42
I had. 

Wendy Beck 57:43
Okay? Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 57:46
Anything. You guys like that? 

Damian Bloss 57:49
No, just 

Rich Bennett 57:49
Book. 

Damian Bloss 57:50
an. 

Alicia Bloss 57:51
By the book and. 

Pages, the Facebook pages, and reach out. 

Rich Bennett 57:56
Actually, I do want. 

Alicia Bloss 57:56
Anybody. 

Rich Bennett 57:58
I love this at the. 

Wendy Beck 58:00
You can. 

Rich Bennett 58:00
All of the questions. 

Damian Bloss 58:01
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 58:02
What gave you that idea? 

Damian Bloss 58:04
That was very important to me because accountability is null and void when you're in addiction. You blame everybody else for your for your problems. You never take that initiative and take that accountability for yourself. I'm the one that is causing this pain. I'm the one that is doing all this stuff to everyone else when I'm thinking it's just being done to me. Am I holding myself accountable when I when I go out by myself? You know, just just those little things because it helps to build trust. People I remember used to think as soon as I get sober, boom, everybody's supposed to trust me. My life is going to turn around right away. And you know, that's not the case at all. It is 100 times harder to stay sober than it is to go back to what we were doing. And so in order to get that, you have to hold yourself accountable. And you know it. The unfortunate truth, too, is that we're never going to beat this. It's you have to come to terms with that, that we're never going to beat this. But it's okay, because if we beat it to death. That's all we have to do is just win 

Wendy Beck 59:20
Today. 

Damian Bloss 59:21
today. Wake up in the morning and do it all over. But for today, you just 

Wendy Beck 59:26
Just. 

Damian Bloss 59:26
win today. 

Rich Bennett 59:28
Thank you for listening to the conversations with Rich Bennett. I hope you enjoy today's episode and learn something from it as I did. If you'd like to hear more conversations like this, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. And if you have a moment, I'd love it if you could leave a review. It helps us reach more listeners and share more incredible stories. Don't forget to connect with us on social media or visit our website at conversations with Rich Bennett dot com for updates, giveaways and more. Until next time, take care, be kind and keep the conversations going.