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You're Not Alone: Harmonizing Mental Health Through Music with Big Infinite

You're Not Alone: Harmonizing Mental Health Through Music with Big Infinite

Big Infinite, originally known as Fiction 20 Down, is a band that experienced early musical success with national tours and awards. However, after the tragic suicide of lead singer Jordan Lally's father, the band went on hiatus. When they returned, their music was imbued with deeper authenticity, prompting a name change to Big Infinite. Beyond music, they now champion mental health awareness and suicide prevention, taking their heartfelt messages to various platforms, from schools to conferences. Their story is a testament to the healing power of connection and self-love.

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Here's a podcast I recommended – Truth & Levity with Jordan & Candace


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Transcript

Rich 0:00
I am joined today by lovely lady who I haven't seen in a while because she ignores me now. Chris I have Kelly Bakker joining us and we are going to be talking to a gentleman that's been on a few times and his band, We have the Infinite here and we are all let you guys introduce yourselves. Everybody knows, you know. We'll start to my left. Go ahead, introduce yourself. 

DJ 0:29
My name is D.J. Motta, instrumentalists for the Big Infinite. 

Andre 0:32
My name is Andre. I play drums and I do some lyrical stuff for the big symphony. 

Jordan 0:37
And I'm Jordan. 

Rich 0:39
L Jordan. 

Kelly 0:41
Which. 

Jordan 0:42
Is kind of here. 

Rich 0:43
I mean, how many instruments do you play. 

DJ 0:46
In the band. 

Rich 0:47
All together? 

DJ 0:48
Well, I play electric guitar. Bass is my main instrument. 

Rich 0:52
Okay. 

DJ 0:52
Ukulele synth. 

Rich 0:55
So you play guitar, right? 

Jordan 0:57
I play acoustic guitar. Are you okay? He does. These guys. These guys do the heavy lifting musically. 

DJ 1:03
So, like some songs, I may start on ukulele and then I'll switch the bass or I'll start an electric guitar and I'll switch the bass. 

Rich 1:09
That's a hell of a switch. 

Andre 1:11
I mean. 

Jordan 1:12
Mid-Song. 

Rich 1:13
Well. 

Andre 1:14
I just. I just watch it, see if. 

Kelly 1:15
He's going well. So, you know. 

Rich 1:18
I think you need a pen. I think you, you know, you have to learn what the double necked guitars are. And we've been. 

DJ 1:25
Talking about ways to, like, have the ukulele, like, stuck to my microphone stand or something. So I never say my bass is that low and I can just. 

Rich 1:32
Yeah, I think you need it. Just look who is the guitar? Is it just a Ben White stevi that? What do you call it, The Hydra. 

DJ 1:42
I don't know the name, but I know what you're talking. 

Rich 1:44
O that one guitar that's got like, I don't know how many different guitars and everything else on it. You need some of that. A ukulele, a bass. What else? Electric guitar? 

DJ 1:54
Yeah. Sit. 

Rich 1:55
Sit, sit out. The Steve man. Put all that stuff on there. That'd be impressive. 

DJ 2:00
I'll be in a whole suit. 

Rich 2:03
The band is is looking for donations to build some cards. Explain to everybody, because some people may not have heard you say you were all but explained everybody. What Big Infinite does your focus size play music? 

Jordan 2:20
Yeah, we play music. Mental health awareness, suicide prevention. That's sort of our mission. We were a band for for many years. We used to be called fiction 20 Down and music was the centerpiece. We tour nationally and, you know, do the normal kind of clubs and festivals and all that stuff. And then I lost my father to clinical depression and suicide back in 2014. We took a break as a band and then kind of when we got back together, a lot of things had changed. Music took on a different shape, different sound, different vibe, and then that sort of by extension, started to inform what we did with that music. So we left behind the clubs and the festivals and we started to bring our music to high schools and libraries and military bases and sort of all. 

Rich 3:05
Which is awesome. 

Jordan 3:06
Church Yeah, And, and so churches, Yeah. PARK So there's a variety of places which we found ourselves. 

Rich 3:13
But your focus has changed. 

Jordan 3:15
Yeah. I mean, it's now usually what we're doing is sort of like a storytellers concert. So we're, we're, you know, the songs are the through line, but we're also talking honestly about our own struggles with depression, social anxiety, anxiety, and as well as the strategies that we use to help better cope and heal. And so, yeah, that's, that's what we do, that the program is under the umbrella of the power of expression. And so we visited a lot of the schools in the area expanding kind of up and down the East Coast now. 

Rich 3:46
That's awesome, man. Yeah. I want to thank you guys for that because actually, you're the first group I've heard of that. Does it band wise? Yeah. 

Kelly 3:57
What were you guys like originally? Like, how does that how does that transformed? I mean, we know kind of Jordan's back story with his father suicide. But like, if you're this like rock band and you're doing all these things and then how does it we know what happened to you. But it's interesting that they kind of shifted with you because, like, you know, like when you're in a relationship with someone, like, something might happen to me personally, but it doesn't happen to my husband. So I'm growing in a different direction. But my husband or whoever my significant other might like be like, Hey, I'm not going in that direction right? Yeah. So it's interesting that you guys kind of like because you were it was different. Obviously. There wasn't there wasn't this mental health awareness surrounding your band originally. 

Jordan 4:37
And it wasn't like a you know, it wasn't like a part of a business plan. You know, we didn't say I lost my dad and now we're going to do this, this and this really and this ripple effect of and I'll let you guys speak for yourselves, obviously, on a personal changes that informed it, that informed the change of the band. And these guys also knew my dad really well, so. 

Kelly 4:55
Oh, okay. 

DJ 4:56
Okay. 

Andre 4:57
You've been tours. We've been touring for years, you know, in the same band, the same hotel. 

Kelly 5:01
Yeah. 

Andre 5:02
So you become I mean, we became your family mates. We're friends. Family. So it's like, you know, I couldn't I wouldn't want to choose, you know, any other people to make, you know, make music with, you know? So it wasn't like I was going to go somewhere else and. 

Kelly 5:15
Right, right. 

Andre 5:16
Like, we're still going make music is starting. 

Kelly 5:18
Yeah. 

DJ 5:20
We also like, we've had our own experiences. Like I've struggled with anxiety depression since elementary school got injured in high school with an 18 surgeries and 20 years with older than the amputation. So. 

Kelly 5:33
Y yeah. 

DJ 5:35
So we've, we've all kind of had our stuff and then, yeah, when Jordan's father passed, that was like, whoa, like I need to do something. Like, I don't like, I see myself in a depressive state, Like, I need to do something. 

Andre 5:47
And not only that, the ups and downs of the band and what we had gone through just, you know, financially, you know, as far as, you know, management wise or what have you or lack thereof that not on our part. He always tried. 

Jordan 6:01
The at the same time that my dad passed away, we, we would our rehearsal space was at my parent's house so it was like before I had moved out, my wife and I moved out. They let me convert their two and a half hour garage into a recording studio. So we were there every week, you know, So. So we were all family before that. 

I forget where I was going with that. But, but yeah, like it's really just an extension of the personal changes and the changes in our dynamic. Like we would tour and we were hanging out, but we weren't really telling them anything deep. 

Kelly 6:32
Well, that's kind of what I meant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Jordan 6:35
But when that happens, it's like, you know, you talk about it. I mean, that was the approach that I, that I took. We're going to talk about it. I did that in my dad's eulogy. And from there we talked and then it was like, Oh. You got anxiety. Me too. You struggle with depression. Oh, man. 

Rich 6:48
A lot of people kept it quiet. We did. This happens and this is why. Yeah, this is why. 

DJ 6:53
I act this way, you know, before show. And so. 

Kelly 6:56
You know, it's like, you know, that's what I wanted to know. Like, I just kind of wanted to know how, you know, we, I, we've heard, I've heard Jordan story and all that stuff. So it was it's interesting to hear you guys as well. Like because I think if you didn't have any of those issues and you were just kind of like, Oh, Jordan, I'm not I'm not I'm not your I mean, your dad committed suicide because he had financial problems. He had I don't believe in this depression stuff because there are people out there that are very reluctant to believe in it. Right. Like and that's a choice. You're making it, you know, And it could have there could have been some resistance there. But it sounds like you guys were like almost like a relief, like, oh, we could talk about this now. Like, this is why I have anxiety, too. Like, it's almost like in that brought you closer together. So it's cool. It's cool. 

Jordan 7:40
Yeah. And I mean, we did have a fourth band member and once we started doing the mental health work and that became the focus in a very amicably said like, this isn't for me and to direction. So it just galvanized us and we found that common ground. And another thing where I was getting to before is at the same time that my dad passed away, we had also so my dad, you know, suicide was was preceded by a year long depression that was really hard to hide. We we didn't talk about it directly, but it was kind of obvious. My dad was this joyful guy who's the number one fan of the band. And at every show and all of a sudden he was just quiet in the background, not showing up anymore. But during that same year, we had signed with a manager, a big time manager. This was the big break. We were so excited and what unfolded at the same time my father passed away was his manager ended up taking $30,000 from us. And for anybody that's a lot of money for an independent band, that's like you're dunzo. So your failure to go, yeah, you can't come back from that. So it was like this one two punch from life, and particularly the punch from for the music business was that career we were all reeling for, for a little while there. Yeah. 

Rich 8:50
Man. Now, do you guys have a manager now? 

Jordan 8:53
We have a we'd love to have a manager. We do have a lot of interested. We do love to. 

Rich 8:58
Have a manager that's not going to take it. 

Kelly 9:00
Yeah. 

Rich 9:01
You might want to refrain. Yeah. 

Jordan 9:03
We have a a Heather Bond is our a godsend. And who manages our power of expression program through the foundation. So she coordinates all the stuff at schools and manages all that stuff, which is, Oh, my gosh, there was a there was a couple of years. There were were you know, we were going to have to having to shoulder that. And that's so much logistics. It's one thing like booking a club show. It's another thing to have to deal with like a school. 

Kelly 9:28
And. 

Jordan 9:29
Like all the nuts and bolts that go. 

DJ 9:31
Down to South Carolina and stuff and yeah, like. 

Kelly 9:34
Pretty much, yeah. 

Rich 9:35
How many schools have you guys played before? 

Jordan 9:38
Oh, we did almost 20 last year and we're, we're scheduled for I think those close to are above 30 this year already for the school year. 

Rich 9:48
So wow. 

Jordan 9:49
It's cool. It's kind of geographically it's picking up. And also we have in in the midst of COVID, we created a video version of our presentation so we could continue our outreach. And then this mental health documentarian by the name of Greg Cherry saw these videos that we had created to continue our outreach to and companies like. I think there's a documentary there, you know, can I get in there and and like take that footage and edit it. And so we created a documentary with the help of another film company called 1027 Films, and they put this documentary together that now we also get to do outreach to schools. We're not even able to show up in person. So that's that's like another extension. 

Kelly 10:29
That's so great, because then I mean that I mean, think about that. You're helping people, which you're not having to be physically there, which is just like takes a little bit load off of you guys, too. Yeah. I mean, it's fun to be there and you want to be there, but you can't be everywhere. 

Jordan 10:42
And that's just like this whole deal is like it's not something we ever envisioned or imagined. Yeah, and I think the documentary is a perfect example that, like, we just got selected for a film festival in Boston, so we're going to be fly up to Boston in October, like with a blog at a film festival. 

Kelly 11:01
That you do now. You know. 

Rich 11:03
It's like the prime spot, I think, Saturday night. Yeah. Really? 

Kelly 11:07
Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny. 

Jordan 11:08
It's called the Lonely SEAL Film Festival. It's like a four day film festival. And we actually were in selected for one in I think it was in May in Colorado, called a Mental Health and Suicide Awareness film Festival to School. 

Andre 11:20
Wow. 

Kelly 11:21
I like do you submit this? Do you submit to something or do these people find you. 

Jordan 11:27
There is a platform to submit your film to stuff that the director guided us to, but we submitted it to five film festivals and we've been. 

Kelly 11:36
Selected to explain it like, okay, so if I'm coming like, I'm, you're at my school, how do you like what? What do you first start by doing what is like this power? Like, how do you tell your you tell this to your story. Do you guys share your experiences with anxiety and depression and then you going to your music or how does it is it kind of all music and then you just say those certain things? How does it how what is it? 

Jordan 11:59
It's everything you just said. 

Kelly 12:01
Oh, I'm so good at this. I could be explaining it. I could. So I'm your manager. 

Rich 12:11
Therefore they may need to 

know. 

Kelly 12:14
You probably got it for that. No, no, no. That's not me. Okay? 

Jordan 12:18
It is. It is. All of those things. It's. It's the music is interwoven throughout. We started out really primarily by me sharing my story and my father and my struggles. But over the years, these guys have started sharing their stories and so they talk about their struggles 

and yeah, that's and there's a few different incarnations and different, different ways we do it. IT schools, some schools, we show the documentary and then we'll come in the next day and do a whole other hour presentation. Sometimes we'll do the documentary itself live, But yeah, I don't know, there's other stuff too. 

DJ 12:51
And I think one of the more powerful parts of the presentation is we do a survey and it's to where everybody feels it out. They don't put their name, we collect them back out and then we drag out the questions. And if their card says that they stand up and, you know, we ask if people struggle with anxiety and depression, you know, and it's like 80 to 90% of the kids stand up and they all get to look around and see, yeah. 

Kelly 13:16
That's so cool. They get to see you're. 

Jordan 13:18
Not alone without having. 

Kelly 13:19
Yeah, it's so cool. 

Rich 13:22
And hopefully something like that cuts down on the bullying too. 

DJ 13:25
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Kelly 13:26
That's so cool. 

DJ 13:27
And then do you want to talk about QPR? 

Andre 13:30
Oh, yeah. Yeah, we do a QPR presentation. 

Yea, yeah. QPR. It's a question. 

Jordan 13:38
No question. Persuasion. These two gentlemen. So now I've done they have, they like, like totally get to your point earlier, you know, my father passed away and they have just open their hearts and come on and it's just I found so much support like the beginning of this journey. I couldn't imagine standing up in front of a room full of people and talking. That was I'm not a public speaker who does nothing with do. 

Kelly 14:02
So, yeah, I know you and. 

Jordan 14:05
And you know these guys like their their support is just the only reason that I was able to get through that and to kind of get to build up that confidence, to be able to do that. And not only do that, then they start talking and sharing their stories, but then they double down and they both got QPR certified. So they're trainers and and QPR and all that. You guys talk about it? 

Rich 14:25
Yes. 

Andre 14:25
Yes, sure. Yeah. Question Persuade, refer. So the question is, you know, it's basic, straight to the point, you know, be direct. You know, have you thought about hurting yourself? You know, have you thought about suicide? You know, asking that question. Right. Is, you know, some people think, oh, is that going to put an idea in their head? But no, I honestly, it makes the person feel better so that you can persuade. You know, it's talking to the person, letting you know all the things, you know, that you know, that matter, that the why they matter to you. But and then refer as just basically having, you know, a list of of there's a98, eight number. Right. And when in schools you have your counselors, everything like that, you know, seeking out the professional mental health professionals that can help out. 

Rich 15:14
And this is a certification you guys have. 

Andre 15:16
Yeah, Yeah. Basically, you go through and you talk about the steps. It's pretty simple. If you if you notice somebody maybe in your classroom or whatever, it could be right, that maybe it seems like they're struggling. You know, maybe they're saying some things. You know, I don't you know, I don't belong here. I belong here. Yeah. Would be a better place without me and things like that. 

DJ 15:36
Maybe So as a friend, that's, you know, not acting normal, not to do the things they want to normally do. 

Jordan 15:43
It's like it's like an intervention, like CPR, but QPR. So that's. 

Kelly 15:46
Mental health. 

Jordan 15:46
Intervention. 

Rich 15:47
And how does one go about getting that certification? 

Jordan 15:50
The Office of Mental Health and other can really answer these guys. Oh yeah. So that they provide some of those trainings. 

Rich 15:57
There's that part of the Health Department. 

Jordan 16:00
Office of Mental Health. 

Rich 16:01
That's on the job that's. 

Kelly 16:02
Connected to the health department. 

Jordan 16:04
It's core services of Harford County. I don't they just tremendous work around the community about. 

DJ 16:09
All right so you can be certified in QPR but then you can be a certified QPR trainer as well. 

Kelly 16:15
Is that what you are? 

DJ 16:16
That's what we are. 

Rich 16:17
Oh, really? 

Jordan 16:17
So they could train you, so. 

Kelly 16:18
We can just look at my training. 

Rich 16:22
I will. I'll, I'll be as well. You cover the law in your pocket, will you. That's what you cover on your podcast. Well, Mental Health and I covered a lot of mine and it's talking to kids and everything. I was the type of I didn't want to talk about my. Now I have the problem, talk about it. And I think when more and more people talk about it, it helps them. You know, back in the day, people were scared to well, I found that they're talking about until tragedy here. 

Kelly 16:54
Well, nobody would say, like when I look like I graduate from high school in 1996, if I would have said, my friend, my mental health is just not good, she would have been like, you know what? No, no, no, no, no, no. It would have been what language it would have been. I could've just been speaking Korean. Yeah, Yeah. Like that. Verbiage goes to mental health, mental that didn't even like it didn't exist. Like they would have. They be like, Are you from a foreign land? Like, they would just they, everyone would have just stopped and it like how what she's saying you know what I mean. Like I mean because that would have made no sense. That's how far we've come. I mean, 30. 

Rich 17:34
Still in hour. We still need to come a lot further know because you still see people that if somebody is going through anxiety and they'll tell you they have anxiety and yet you'll have some people just get over, you'll be fine. Do this to know if you will suffer from anxiety. You can't tell somebody what did you know, how they what they're going through. 

Kelly 17:58
So that's I think people think what anxiety is and what depression is, is it's interesting to me, like they'll be like, no, I'm not having panic attacks. And I'll be like, Oh, okay. Like, as if that's what anxiety is. Like, if I'm not having anxiety attacks. So I don't have anxiety or I'm not I'm not locked in my bedroom, in bed, laying in my bed, you know, for a month so I don't have to like I so the I think they think that's not me. That's not for me. I that's for people that are really bad. You know what I mean? It's kind of similar to alcoholism. Yeah. In terms of like I'm not like those people. I've only gotten four DUI and not three, you know? I mean, like. I mean, you know me, you are the opposite, you know? So I think that's interesting. 

Andre 18:43
I feel like you can show up in, you know, little ways all the time, you know, different anxieties, like you got to drive to work this or that. Like a certain things you do, maybe you tense up and then you don't even notice that you're anxious, but you get home your back sore and this or that and your kids. 

Rich 18:57
Yeah. 

Kelly 18:57
Yeah, that's me now. 

Andre 19:01
But it's like, yeah, there's anxiety, you know, in and stress any time you walk out the door. Yeah. And then I feel like that if you don't deal with it then that you're going to create, you know, cycle where it leads to depression. 

Rich 19:12
So I, with you guys how we 

got guys. All right, so what is it that actually helped you guys? Because it doesn't go away. Anxiety or depression. I think there's a way, but you got to learn how to cope with it. What has helped you guys Meditation? 

DJ 19:32
Um, and for me, it's just, you know, trying to make sure I have time to do what I love. Yeah. Play music, play with my daughter, you know, play video games. I think those things are important. And then the other thing is just being mindful and noticing signs before your full blown depression hits, Right Like that. 

Andre 19:53
Yeah, I think meditation is key. We talk about the Healthy Minds app. Yeah, she's in that a lot. Just really getting back to a lot of stuff D.J. said. Almost like giving time to yourself, you know, to enjoy the things that, you know, you grow up, you become an adult also, and you just work on doing this, take care of your family. Those things get put aside, but you have to find time for that. Even if you involve your kids, you know, if you need to. But yeah, take some time to read, Take care of your health, you know, eat right. All those, all those things. Orientation, obviously. Creative expression. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Being in the band is key for me. 

Rich 20:28
Actually getting an exercise exercise. 

Jordan 20:31
Talking about it in itself. It's okay to feel anxious, changes the level of that anxiety. If I'm in a room and everybody can know that, that I have anxiety and I can talk about it, I feel less anxious. 

DJ 20:43
And I feel more connected to it. 

Jordan 20:45
Yeah, absolutely. 

Kelly 20:46
Yeah, yeah. 

Jordan 20:47
And I also would like to say that I do believe personally that that, you know, you said that anxiety and depression sort of are always there forever. And I, I don't necessarily agree with that sentiment. Those experiences can shift dramatically over time. You know, the brain is valuable. It's capable of changing. And so you can be certainly predisposed for anxiety, but it can shift from where it's a limiting factor in your life. It's it's a deciding factor in what you do on a day to day basis to where it's just a blip on the radar. That's inconsequential. Right. And so I just that is what it felt like that was worth for the clarifying. But don't set that expectation up. And it's okay that that you're going to be predisposed to anxiety for your whole life, your depression or whatever the case may be. But what my personal experience has been like, the first shift was in and being okay with it, being okay, talking about it, and then it was well, and I have an ability to navigate it, to cope somehow I can breathe through it or talk about it or whatever the case may be. And then the more comfortable I got with coping, then all of a sudden it's just it feels like it really starts to heal in your headspace and the experience starts to change. I mean, there's things that I that I'm that I do now that would have been different. Worst nightmare, you know, a decade ago. And that's just a commitment to one of the main things we talk about we do through the foundation is what we call mindful mental health or a proactive approach to health. So approaching it like exercise and doing things on a daily basis to strengthen and improve the quality and function functionality of your brain. 

DJ 22:18
And if you add it to your routine, you know, it. 

Kelly 22:21
Becomes like brushing your teeth, right? 

Rich 22:23
Yeah. 

Jordan 22:23
If you prioritize brushing your teeth every day, you're going to do that. And you can do the same thing for, you know, 2 minutes of breathing or 10 minutes of meditation or. 

Rich 22:31
Actually when you guys go to the schools because meditation helps a lot. I agree with you 120% there. It helps me. I love meditating, but when you go to the schools, do you actually have the kids try to actually meditate? 

Jordan 22:48
Yeah. 

Rich 22:48
Yeah, you do? Yeah. Really? Yeah. 

Jordan 22:51
We we, we soften the experience a little bit given that it's, you know, a thousand kids in a. 

DJ 22:57
Well, yeah. 

Jordan 22:57
Yeah. So we, you know, we're not aiming for a 20 minute silent meditation. 

Rich 23:02
I think. 

Jordan 23:02
Students but, but yeah, we teach them an accessible breathing technique and, and then we'll all, well I'll set up a meditation and start to guide it from then to within. The guys will join in and we'll play a song. And so it's usually about a, a five or six minute meditation with that with the accompaniment or song. But then we leave them, as Andre was saying, with resources like the Healthy Minds app, which is, which is the one that we primarily sort of advocate for. 

Rich 23:27
And about then again. 

Jordan 23:29
Yeah, it's, it's great. 

DJ 23:29
That yeah, it's nice free. Yeah. 

Kelly 23:32
It's like there's a lot of them out there. I haven't heard of that one before. 

Jordan 23:35
So I. 

Rich 23:35
Think you mentioned it before. 

Jordan 23:37
Probably I think this they should be paying me I think. Are you. 

Kelly 23:41
What are you gonna give yourself on there. 

Jordan 23:46
That 

it's a Dr. Richard Davidson. So he's one of the foremost researchers on neuroscience and mental health and mindfulness. And so he, through his nonprofit, created this app that is free. So it's totally free and it's accessible. It's down to earth. You can meditate for 5 minutes or a half hour. You can meditate while you're seated in a traditional posture, while you're vacuuming. 

And it's just totally science based. So it's addressing different areas of the brain for different reasons, you know, the emotional centers of the brain, you know, the cognitive function, all that stuff. So it's just amazing. Yeah, healthy minds. 

Rich 24:26
Have to definitely be in it. I'm sorry us all squirrel because we are talking about QPR originally. I tend to see that thing run around saying, Oh good, get back into that with the QPR and explain all that which where you guys are starting originally and then I asked about the training. Yeah, Yeah. 

Andre 24:45
So I mean, like I said, you know, it's kind of like a CPR type improvement intervention where if you notice somebody that's struggling, you know, it's different signs. We talk about the signs that kids can look for, you know, adults can look for asking the question straight up. You know, have you thought about hurting yourself? Have you felt that suicide? You know, then really just talking, listening to them, being there for them and then providing the resources. So like I said, it's a three step process. Basically try to make it as simple as possible and. 

DJ 25:14
You're just being anybody can do it. Yeah. Yeah. 

Andre 25:16
You know, you're not you're not going to fix anybody necessarily, but you're being, you know, you're being there for them that day. You know, when I'm going through that referral part, you know, and you give somebody, you know, a doctor, what have you, it says, you know best, you should, you know, help them make the appointment. If not, you know, maybe go to the appointment with them, what have you. But just getting somebody to agree that they're going to, you know, seek help most of the time actually do it. So you may Thank you. Didn't help but you never know. Just ask the question. Being there, letting them know what resources may have helped you could save somebody's life. 

Rich 25:52
And that's what you get. What each school you go into, that's what you guys start with. No, no, that's like. 

Jordan 25:56
It's in the yeah, that's a that's a challenge. We try to we try to drop that sort of information in while also keeping 14 year olds engaged in what we're doing. So that's where the music comes in and like the, the storytelling and all that stuff. But we want we want to, you know, we want it to be engaging and entertaining, but we also want it to be purposeful and to hopefully they remember that QPR or they remember this breathing technique and then they walk away with that in their back pocket. 

Rich 26:25
How many times have you guys gone walk in that school after you're done? Just teary eyed because of kids opening up to you a lot? 

Jordan 26:34
Yeah, that's the most rewarding part. 

Rich 26:36
I was just going to say. 

Jordan 26:37
And yeah, that'd be a day would it? Pizza, a drunk dude in the back of the room. So I scattered, you know, I'll take I'll just 

Freebird. 

Kelly 26:48
Yeah. 

Rich 26:50
Yeah. I wish. I wish we were. 

DJ 26:52
Around when I was in high school. Yeah. Because I think it would have changed a lot. 

Rich 26:58
Why would you have been in the one in the back yelling Freebird bus? 

Jordan 27:03
Now, I think B.J. speaking to your point, which is like that, that language didn't know. No, nobody was talking. And maybe the language exists a little bit more nowadays. But still, it's rare that people just open in their heart. Here's here's my truth. And it ain't perfect. It's not pretty. 

Andre 27:18
Well, one thing Jordan talks about in schools and all that you talk about is don't forget it, is that, you know, sometimes the idea with kids now is to to kind of I don't know how to put it to to where you're you're on your anxiety or whatever your problems with with I guess pride or to hold on to them. That's like a. 

Jordan 27:38
Crutch. It's like it's like and so so in our day you didn't talk about it no matter what. It didn't exist. That language didn't exist. And then we've there's this, this overcorrection, I think that's happened where, you know, everybody thinks that the younger generation is talking about it more and they are. But a lot of times it's sort of a superficial acknowledgment. Like, I got to go see my therapist and it's not like it's like it's just like what? We're in a Grateful Dead tide. I was back in the day. It's just like another thing that they can sort of dress themselves with versus like the real vulnerable heart of whatever it is they're going through. And that's that's I think what we're trying to embody or trying to do is to to really be vulnerable. Like for me, for me, that progression came when I could actually stand up there in the moment and tell them, hey, right now my heart is beating out of my chest because public speaking is not the thing I like. I'm not trying to be a rock star. I'm not trying to be a polished public speaker. I'm a human being. And right now this human being is feel a little shaky. And when I could do that, for me, that was like, man, I'm really owning that vulnerability and stepping into it. So that's what I'm talking to. That's what kind of drones referring to. Kids do talk about it more and that's wonderful. At least the language exists to talk about it. But sometimes it's it's it's again, just sort of a superficial acknowledgment of what's what's really going on. There's something there's something deeper. And those are the kind of conversations that really connect people and change the culture in a family or a community or friendship or school. 

Rich 28:57
Do you guys mind sharing your stories? 

DJ 29:00
Yeah. 

Andre 29:02
Sure. I mean, my anxiety and depression start in high school. I kind of knew what it was. I mean, I always wrote poetry, rhymes. I was always in bands, you know, starting in high school. So I kind of started writing, you know, a little bit that little bit darker, a little bit down, like, you know, obviously the transition, you know, ending high school, things not going so well in my relationship, things with my, you know, high school sports, being scared about going to college, trying to figure out what the heck I was going to do when I was there. It all spiraled, you know, similar to Jordan story, where, you know, I wasn't going I couldn't get out of my bit. It wasn't just that I wasn't going to class. I go, I'm partying all the time. No, I didn't. I was depressed. I couldn't do it. I had too much anxiety. I had all that just cycling around. So, you know, literally the only thing attached to it, I would lay in bed with my roommates to come home and I would. And then I was, you know, I would watch PTA, I maybe would go play basketball, this or that. And I did. I was in a band in college, so I would do that. And that's, you know, really only things that kind of got me out of my song. 

Kelly 30:07
Did you ever use alcohol or drugs? 

Andre 30:08
Yeah, Yeah, I did. But it wasn't like it wasn't like it was that was a crutch then. Yeah, I just yeah, yeah. And it wasn't like I was just using drugs and partying all the time. I was pretty much normal like it was. I didn't necessarily go out every weekend. 

Kelly 30:23
I was just pretty normal. Some people news, that kind of thing. My dad said numb out. 

Andre 30:27
No. 

Kelly 30:28
Yeah. 

Andre 30:28
Plant medicine. 

Kelly 30:30
And. 

Andre 30:31
But, but yeah. So it kind of grew. You know, I left college too, after two years, you know, because I wasn't going to class and can't cut it that way. So then, you know, struggles with my jobs, struggles with, you know, I wasn't able to play music for a long time. So I finally met these guys, I don't know, maybe down for a long time. It's too long for me. Good. Like three years or so till I found another band after college. I was bass. That's a good amount of time. So that was probably one of my darkest moments, though. Like, like kind of right before meeting these guys and everything that my relationship was kind of rough 

and then being able to express myself musically, help turn the tides up, get me through rough times, then. 

But, you know, now, you know, fast forward with, you know, the passing through dad, everything that went on, you know, in our music careers and then, you know, finding meditation, you know, finding different ways to, you know, get back, you know, get myself healthy again mentally. That's kind of where I am right now. I don't know. I can say it was a story. It was a great. 

Rich 31:45
Sense. 

Kelly 31:45
And it made perfect sense. 

It was myself. I was like, Oh, you saw. 

Rich 31:55
Him. He's still remember back bag. What You're still oh, you at least think of it. What about the classes, though? 

DJ 32:05
I started out with anxiety in elementary school. I didn't want to be called on or anything like that. And then in middle school, depression kicked in. My family moved from Baltimore County to Harker County, and I didn't want to leave the room, didn't want to do anything. 

Fast forward to high school. You know, at that point, if I had to get up in front of the class not coming to school or ditching that class or whatever, and then in 10th grade, I got kicked in the foot playing soccer for my high school team, and it destroyed the joint that controls my ankle. And so since then, over the past 20 years, I've had 18 surgeries. About a year and a half ago, I had a below the knee amputation. 

Rich 32:52
Is this all because of the kick in the foot? 

DJ 32:54
Yeah. Yeah. Overcompensation stuff throughout the years because they could never fix the foot, right? Like my knee went bad, my hip went bad. I've nerve damage from like my abdomen where it was all the way to my foot. But now I don't have a foot. But yeah, so I like to swing stimulators and I'm bionic. 

Rich 33:13
So what was it? What was it like? CPR was It was. 

DJ 33:17
I have chronic residual pain. Okay, I do. 

Rich 33:20
You're the second person that I've heard of that Has that? 

DJ 33:24
Yeah. I developed it from the injury and from the surgeries. And basically before the amputation, my leg was like it looked like the Ravens purple and it was like. 

Rich 33:36
Damn. 

DJ 33:36
Really, really skinny. And yeah, it was like frozen all the time. And I couldn't heat it up. Like if I tried to get warm, whatever on it, it would get colder. So yeah, that was horrible. And then I amputated and things have been going good, but, and within like the last eight months, the CERP has come back and now it's like way further up my leg than it was. 

Andre 33:59
Before. 

Rich 34:00
With I had we had a young author on children's author. I had no idea that she had this because I asked her about her career. And as she came out of this and I. Had you met one back from Rage Against Addiction, she was co-hosting with I We're both in tears when she told the story. I never heard of it before. So I said, All right, I'm going to research this. Apparently, there's not a lot here in the United States, no support groups or anything. 

DJ 34:29
There's an iWatch name. 

Rich 34:31
And it was a company it actually was a podcast in England that contacted me because they cover it. Yeah. And 

you had. So you haven't been able to find any support for that? 

DJ 34:44
Oh, I mean, there's like a self awareness. 

Rich 34:48
Group on. 

DJ 34:49
Twitter now on Instagram. 

Rich 34:51
Okay. 

DJ 34:52
I believe it's just awareness and that's like their their tag, but not much. JOHNS Hopkins has a few things that they do for psy ops, which I tried and it didn't you know, it's it's it may or may not work type of deal. Yeah for the treatments for psy ops right now at least in the United States. 

Rich 35:14
Do you know of anybody else personally that has it? 

DJ 35:16
Yeah, I know a guy who lives in Hartford County and he has it in his hand. 

Rich 35:23
You have it. 

DJ 35:23
Here. And then actually so to try to not amputate my leg, my wife and I and my parents, we flew out to Seattle, Washington, four years ago and paid ten grand out of pocket to get a limb salvage device. And it's like I could run, I could jump, I could do all this stuff. These guys couldn't believe it. Right? What? I was still in chronic pain. And what ended up happening was the pain got too bad and my blood pressure started tanking and I would just drop pass out. My wife found me unconscious and I was like, she was pregnant and I was the last straw. So yeah. 

Jordan 35:59
And the one thing that you just sort of hasn't even gotten to is, is, you know, he's talking about the physical pain, but all those surgeries recovering and able to do this lying there. And he tells the students about, you know, the depression that accompanied that. Yeah. Know those years. Yeah. Because I know that's something I know it's big for you. It's it's I mean it's big for me and my mental health the ability to exercise. Yeah. And 18 times just was gone. And then even when he was healthy. 

DJ 36:23
Yeah, it was just, it was. 

Kelly 36:25
Such a huge loss. 

DJ 36:27
Like, yeah, he's going to be in super duper pain or I'm going to help my mentality by doing this. You know what I mean? Like, those were the choices I had. 

Kelly 36:36
Do you feel like when it initially happened, was there Do you feel this is going to be this? I'm not trying to say it like this, but what how was it like? Was the surgery like botched in the beginning? 

DJ 36:46
So what happened was, after the soccer game, I played the rest of the soccer game, I went to the hospital after and my foot was just way too big, like they took an X-ray, but they couldn't see anything. So they were like, Oh, it's bruise, you know, stay off of it for like two weeks. Here's some crutches. And, you know, it was the playoffs and I was playing for my high school and it was indoors. So I wanted to play. And so I played the next two games and my foot's bigger. 

Rich 37:12
I can kick the ball better now footed. 

DJ 37:14
And stuff too. And I ended up going to a surgeon and they just kind of started doing surgery on my foot. And like my family, we didn't know better. No one's ever been injured like this, right? And so we were like, okay. And he like, started doing surgeries and then it was like, all right, now, like now I'd be walking around a store or something. And also my foot would just give out and I just dropped to the ground or like, fall over. And so the. 

Rich 37:38
Pain came from surgery. Yeah, well, I mean, I had the. 

DJ 37:41
Pain from the from. 

Rich 37:42
The kid. I mean, already Syrups. 

DJ 37:44
Syrups? Yes, it came from the surgery. Okay. Yeah. And like, they ended up fused in my ankle and it didn't make it to 90 degrees. So like, I couldn't stand up straight, couldn't walk. Right. And that's when things just got worse. Yeah. I feel like. So. 

Rich 37:59
Yeah. Because when you walked in here, I didn't even notice. I didn't. 

Kelly 38:03
Know. So I just said. 

Rich 38:04
Yeah, you said something like, one thing. 

DJ 38:05
I've seen. 

Kelly 38:06
Was Yeah. So like I'm like not paying attention where you go real life. 

Rich 38:10
Real life prosthetic. 

DJ 38:11
No, I go to Dagmar and then next level, okay, level place, they are. They have like so many different things that are just like, like I had an issue with a socket and they were able to, like, stick stuff in it and see where the pressure was on my leg to be able to fix it like super crazy. And they like the prosthetic. I learned it was 3D printed and has the big Infinite logo on the back. 

Rich 38:37
All the mad dogs. 

Jordan 38:41
Yeah. 

Rich 38:42
If you want your own big. Yeah, that is. I just had real life prosthetics on and they were talking about the prosthetics and how much they've advanced. It's a amazing it had they said they had some guy I think it may have been a former jarhead needed two prosthetic legs because he wanted to run cross-country and they followed him. I forget how many sets of legs he went through, but it's just amazing the the technology now. 

DJ 39:14
Yeah. Yeah. They just had me in to test this new product from Germany and they, like, have this little oven and they heat up this like, but it's actually the socket and then they put it on your leg and it molds to your leg right then and there. And then they cut it like they cut the slot for your knee and stuff and that's it. And it's really cool for like new amputees, because when I first got my first socket, my leg kind of looked like a mushroom at the end. And now it's like really skinny. It kind of looks more like an elbow. And so, like when that shape changes, you have to kind of like deal with it for a little while. But with this new socket technology, they can just reshape it five times before you need a new one. And it's just like, done there, you're good to go. So they made me a water leg with that, with that. So it's been cool. 

Kelly 40:08
Well, I don't think about your purpose on the planet. It's just like all this instrumental and like, you can use it, you know? So not that you don't have to use your leg, but like, I mean, I just think it's it's great that you had that outlet. Maybe that was helpful. 

DJ 40:20
Oh, yeah, definitely. 

Kelly 40:21
Okay. Like when you were recovering and yeah. 

DJ 40:24
A huge part of my life, really my whole life, but more so when I got injured. Yeah, I got out of sports so. 

Kelly 40:33
Well I mean it your, your, your, your direction found you. Yeah. 

DJ 40:36
Yeah. And look Jordan. 

Rich 40:38
Yeah. How did you guys actually meet? 

DJ 40:41
Oh, I was. 

Rich 40:45
Told time you hear a lot of it was like, oh, there's a story behind this one. 

DJ 40:49
I started, I started a band and we played for a while and then we broke up and I want to keep playing. So I joined another band and I met this guy who was working with Jordan's band and he was like, Oh, you should play a show with us. So like I set show up with him, and then the drummer in my band couldn't come. So the singer said that I shouldn't come and he's just going to play, I said, or whatever. He's like, It was just for it is what it is, right? And so Jordan met him and he saw how awesome of a guy he was, and he was like, Man, I really doubt D.J. wants to play with him. So he messaged me and he was like, Hey man. And of course I was recovering from a surgery. So Jordan came over and we jammed and we wrote our first song together. 

Kelly 41:33
There you go. 

Jordan 41:35
That is the truth. So there's this guy, this solo singer songwriter opened up for us, and he was he was pleasant. 

Rich 41:42
And I think. 

Jordan 41:43
You know, those guys in a band we really need to play bass. Players are a hot commodity. 

Kelly 41:47
Okay. 

Jordan 41:48
Not to mention great ones, but it's good to have a bass player in general. Okay, so we needed a bass player and I couldn't imagine anybody wanting to be in a band with us too. So I like the idea. But I was at MySpace at the time and Oh yeah, and then. 

DJ 42:03
Like 1239, I was laying there in pain. I get a message from him and I'm like, Oh man. Like, Yeah, I got super excited about it. 

Jordan 42:11
Yeah. And then and then DJ and I were together with another drummer and. 

DJ 42:16
That's actually the drummer from that band we ended up. 

Kelly 42:19
Playing. Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, well, there you go. 

Jordan 42:23
I did not feel for him. And then we, you know, we went through a drummer too, and. 

DJ 42:30
You know, the guitars, a. 

Jordan 42:32
Couple of the guitars, and it's just sort of a network of musicians. And one of one of Andre's friends was the lead guitarist at the time. So Dre came down to jam with us one day and 

the thing that I remember from Dre is first sort of I guess it was an audition. He was just coming to jam, but we had one of those big drum shields up, you know, as drummers, and it's a trace back there playing, which is Vibe. And D.J. would take a break and D.J. and I step outside and I can't hear it. Couldn't hear because he's playing so quiet since it like, tends to be sort of make it feel like. 

Rich 43:04
As as the drummer. 

Jordan 43:06
He was playing to. 

Rich 43:07
Hear what was supposed to be playing. We had a rough summer. 

Jordan 43:10
Like I went to a very Yeah. 

DJ 43:13
He looks. 

Jordan 43:13
Like he's good, but we. 

Rich 43:14
Can't. He looks great, he looks. 

Kelly 43:19
Cool and oh. 

Jordan 43:21
So yeah, that's, that's how it can be. 

Rich 43:24
So with you. Well, how long have the three of you been together now? 

DJ 43:28
I joined in February 2009 and. 

Kelly 43:30
Oh, a. 

DJ 43:32
Six month, seven months later. 

Rich 43:34
Really? 

DJ 43:35
Yeah, because we put out our first album together and 2000 to write the EP Let It Ride You. 

Jordan 43:42
Yeah. Yeah. And we were, we were touring nonstop the US for four or five years till my dad passed. 

Andre 43:50
Wow. 

Rich 43:52
So with each of you been your biggest musical influences? 

DJ 43:55
For me, a slightly stupid big reggae band and the only band that was signed by Sublime. 

And yeah, they're they're my big reggae jazz band. 

Kelly 44:08
Mm hmm. 

Andre 44:09
Yeah. I mean, it'd be hard to name just one because I'm. 

Rich 44:12
Just like, I don't think anybody's got. No, I can't. No, Dad. It's like it ranges. 

Andre 44:17
From all old stuff you would listen to up until, you know, I was big. You know, I still am 3/11 and, you know, love reggae. Three elevens, probably three. 

Kelly 44:26
Elevens from aloha. Yeah, from where I'm from. Oh, nice. I'm from Nebraska. Yeah. The reason I was, you know, 311. 

Andre 44:33
Bands, 3/11, the reason I wanted to. 

Jordan 44:35
Be raised as a drummer. Yeah, exactly. So it's in the family. 

Yeah, I would say sublime, I guess. Or a singer songwriter named Damien Rice. But the real, the real big influence is my my big sister, my older sister, because just the fact that she did it, she was in a band to see her doing it, 

it you know, I didn't start singing or doing anything too. I was 27, so I didn't know it was a possibility. Like there was there was a musicians around me and my sister got started a little bit later. You know, as far as music goes as well. So when I when I went down to Baltimore and saw her playing at a rock club with like, you know, first of all, she's stand on stage and it's like, you know, like 80 people, like singing along. I'm like, right, this is Boston. And she's she looks so cool. I want to do that. So I'd say my big sis. 

Rich 45:27
Who does she play with? 

Jordan 45:28
She's in a band called Another Lincoln, and they were like a pop punk band for maybe ten years, ten or so years. Her My brother Law, Tim was a lead guitar player. 

Rich 45:39
Okay. 

Jordan 45:40
So. So yeah. 

Rich 45:41
She's not playing anymore too, right? 

Jordan 45:43
No. 

DJ 45:44
Okay, So she sings with us sometimes. Yeah. 

Rich 45:46
I was going to. If you guys ever get any, you know, guest performers to sing with you at point. 

Kelly 45:53
You know. Oh, I know. I'm like you my daughter. A good she does. She plays the guitar, she sings. And so she's in a band. They don't have a name yet, but she's into it. So some day, maybe. Gaby. 

No. Tell us about your new song, though. We want to know about this new song coming out, are you not? Is it that you're not? Oh, okay. Thank you so much. 

Rich 46:14
I know I saved the best. 

Jordan 46:18
So it is a single called Somebody. It is a song that we play at our school assemblies and it's one that sort of just naturally embodies everything that we do. It's hard to kind of give voice to it here, but if you heard it, you wish should have brought a guitar. 

Kelly 46:38
What the hell? Don't really mind. Yeah, yeah, but. 

Jordan 46:45
But yeah, I guess it'll it'll be out by the time folks hear this. It's being released on September 1st and all streaming platforms and we're it's just, it's just a I don't know, it's sort of like our, our thesis or something as a band. It's like everything that, that musically and messaging, and sort of heart it's just. It's just what we're all about. 

DJ 47:07
So it's just like a struggle. But then so much hope. 

Kelly 47:11
So excited for this. 

Andre 47:12
Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I get to do some beatbox. 

Kelly 47:15
Oh, wow. Cool. 

Rich 47:17
Yeah, well, I got it here. Samples. 

Andre 47:22
You got that? Oh, man. My daughter had me doing this the other day. This 

is not how it sounds. And that's. 

Rich 47:34
That's fun. I could never do that. 

Kelly 47:36
Well, neither could I. That's why they're here. Because they're all we're not. We're not cool. And they are so. 

Jordan 47:44
Yeah, so. So that song. And then we're also going to, you know, kind of as we do with all of our music, there's a mental health initiative tied to the song. So we're releasing the song and then a lyric video. But then on October 10th we're going to release that's still in production, but a sort of a music video slash mini film by filmmaker Tommy Duncan and producer producer Jessica Cleaver. That is going to be all around men's mental health that's going to feature a cross section of gentleman in the video. And it's really going to just be representative of of of how different we all are on the surface. But really, man, we can connect to those shared experiences of inner struggle. And, you know, we sort of talked about it earlier, but I don't know if it was before we started recording or not. But mental health exists along the spectrum and depending upon the time of day, the time of year or the time of your life, you could be anywhere on that spectrum. But I think most of us, if we dig deep enough, we can find that that that vulnerability. And that's, I think, the connective tissue between everybody at this table, everybody in this county, everybody in the world. And certainly I think men seem to be, generally speaking, the least inclined to talk about, you know, to go to those vulnerable places and to admit that they're struggling. And so our hope is that the song and the video can in some way inspire some folks to step into that. 

Kelly 49:07
Will now you sharing your truth. It helps other people share theirs. Obviously, you guys know that that's what you're doing. 

Rich 49:14
How did you get enough people for that? Because I know you had contacted me about. 

Jordan 49:18
Yeah, yeah. I think I think we're we're good to go. I'm going to since it's not in production yet, I'm not going to name names, but I'm really excited about the amazing the amazing men human beings have chosen to be a part, including these two. 

Kelly 49:37
It's good. Yeah. 

Rich 49:39
The beatbox. 

Jordan 49:41
That was nothing. So took it easy. And he's. He's a human like his mouth is. 

Kelly 49:46
I could tell. I could tell he was holding back. 

DJ 49:49
Beatboxing and whistling. 

Kelly 49:50
Yeah. Really do the whistle to guy. 

Rich 49:53
No, not that. He just rig. 

Kelly 49:54
Up. It's going to be. 

Rich 49:56
Spitting on. 

Kelly 49:56
You. 

Andre 49:57
Some tickets on DC one on one from I with someone. 

Rich 49:59
Once. Oh yeah. We got him. 

Kelly 50:03
I said. 

DJ 50:05
All right. 

Andre 50:06
What, 

what. 

Yeah. That's. 

Kelly 50:17
And hey now you go right. It's your turn you got right. 

Rich 50:22
Yeah. 

Kelly 50:23
I know. 

Rich 50:26
How's the podcast going. 

Jordan 50:27
We, we've taken a little break for a couple of months. We're about to get back. 

Rich 50:31
Well, you're seasonal anyways. 

Jordan 50:33
Yeah. Yeah, well, I think that's being generous. 

Kelly 50:37
We're. 

Jordan 50:38
We do a lot of podcasts. My sister and I have the best time ever, but organizations that are better are strong suit. So. So we're about to get back to it and we'll all turn a bunch out. 

Kelly 50:49
But well, you guys got I mean, you got a lot going on. 

Rich 50:52
Well, you guys got anything to add? 

Andre 50:57
Hmm? Put you on the spot. 

Rich 50:59
Like I could have know. I know you could ask. 

Andre 51:04
Trying to get me to do. 

Jordan 51:08
The jazzy. 

Rich 51:11
Translate. You got a table top. Here is your drummer, and we could do acapella, right? 

Jordan 51:17
Yes, that's right. Yeah. 

Kelly 51:18
You want to do it? Do it. Yeah, sure, he did. 

Jordan 51:22
Beatbox. Yeah. Um, well. Somebody tell me what is. But again, someone show me how to love. Like day one. Someone hold me because this someone needs you to. 

Rich 51:47
It's. 

Jordan 51:50
I know where we go from here. It's inside. Yeah, because I know who you are from them. We can cry you to cry it out. I know where we go from here. It's me and you. Yup. Because I know who you are in there. We can talk it through. You're not alone. 

Rich 52:13
Oh, God. 

Kelly 52:14
I die. I'm dying inside. Oh, oh, oh. Do you use a bass? 

Rich 52:23
I've told you I was waiting for you to get your like. I only. 

Kelly 52:28
Get. Oh, yeah, I really. What do I really want to be? Some air guitar. Oh, it's like I can't look over. I'm like, okay, like, what you got is. 

Jordan 52:38
Mouth hearts, right? 

Rich 52:40
I see. We know you do in schools, but do you guys go out and play any festivals or anything? 

DJ 52:45
We want to. Yeah. 

Jordan 52:46
We want we're going to, we're going to find that manager and they're going to take care of the music and the music side of things. We are so focused, you know, I think rightfully so. On the mental health outreach, that's just where life is taking us. But would love to. So to sort of balance out some of the more traditional music stuff, but right now there's just bandwidth is the term we don't really have. 

Kelly 53:06
You guys all have young families. 

Jordan 53:07
Yeah, we got, we got kiddos and. 

Kelly 53:09
Gosh, I just trust me, that goes by fast. Oh, my heartbreak right now. My daughter. 

DJ 53:14
We had them. Oh, yeah. 

Kelly 53:16
Yeah. 

Jordan 53:16
Oh my gosh. With the cards. 

Kelly 53:17
Yeah, I'm in. I mean, I have my heart broken like I'm broken. I'm okay. 

I'm. You're not Well, come on. Come on. You know, I mean, no, it's. But you never. I mean, I'm going to say you never regret anything that you skipped for yourself, that you did for your kids. 

Rich 53:37
What college. 

Kelly 53:38
She's got. She's at Roanoke in Virginia. Yes. It's about 5 hours away. Yeah. 

Rich 53:42
So she's we we can visit. 

Kelly 53:45
Yeah, well, yeah, sure. She wants to. Yeah, I'm sure. Anyway, but anyway, so what were you saying? You have a young family? 

DJ 53:52
Yeah, I was just going to say that we. We had basically put the band on the back burner and we were just focused on the mental health. So. Yeah. And now we're. We're starting to bring the band stuff up with it. 

Jordan 54:04
Yeah. Like the, the new song is, is the first real studio production like single that we put out I think in five years. I mean, we did release a song called Cherishing a reggae song that that we're really proud of that you can stream now, but this is the one that where we said, like, you know, we had a budget and like we went in the studio and we spent time really hashing this thing out. So it's kind of like the beginning of our first foray back into doing the music side of things. But, but yeah, we'd love for everybody to stream some. 

Kelly 54:35
Was that would that was that song you saying, was that the new one. Yeah. Oh it's so exciting. 

Rich 54:41
And I think. 

Kelly 54:41
Totally we share that a. 

Rich 54:42
Ballston everything's just going to explode. 

Kelly 54:46
Is that about the music or is that about the documentary or I mean, I guess it's sort of one of like, do you play there? Or you just show your documentary and just sit there? 

Jordan 54:55
Yeah, we're just stills. They've asked us to play. Okay, cool. We're going to see and then to do Q&A and stuff. But the documentary is it's not like a a traditional documentary because it's basically us presenting what we present the students to a camera. But then the documentarian took it and took some footage and sort of made it into a documentary. But it's also it's also just what we offer it to schools. It's just us singing and and telling stories and stuff like that. So. Yeah. 

Andre 55:23
Yeah, yeah. Thank you. I just want to put it out there into the universe. But yeah, I think our goal would hopefully be next summer, maybe make a Florida run something like that. But ultimately to be able to, you know, tie in doing the schools mental health presentations along with doing, you know, the club shows, you know, bigger venue shows, what have you to tie them to a whole trip so we can. 

Kelly 55:47
Do like 311 still tour. Maybe you guys can either like 

I just. 

Rich 55:54
Love. 

Kelly 55:54
Really. Okay, cool. 

Rich 55:56
Infinite. 

Jordan 55:58
That's. 

Rich 55:58
All about you guys are value in there. 

Kelly 56:00
So. 

Rich 56:02
They're on the air on 98 right. 

DJ 56:04
Their new albums Pretty dope. 

Rich 56:07
Value. Yeah Shell shock. 

DJ 56:09
Sweet. 

Rich 56:10
I got to listen to big instrument it First thing I get, I'm going to put on Spotify big in English. Sweet go that was awesome. What you guys did. Tell everybody the website. Yeah. 

Jordan 56:24
The big infinite dot com ad lolly foundation dot org. Yeah, I think that covers it. You know, we're going to continue to do the school outreach. So any schools that are interested that we visited, majority of schools in Hartford and Cecil County, but we're going to come back and visit them again this year and continue. Good that but everybody is interested in that. That's power expression and yeah it's stream by the time you listen to this, somebody will be out on Spotify and Apple Music and all that stuff. So definitely stream that please. 

Rich 56:56
September 1st. 

Jordan 56:57
September 1st. Yeah. This as we're recording, it's this Friday. 

DJ 57:01
Friday. 

Kelly 57:01
So that is exciting. 

Rich 57:03
These Wednesday. 

Kelly 57:04
Oh my it's. 

Rich 57:05
You know. 

DJ 57:07
What I think that we should I mentioned earlier is when we played at Jordan's old high school and we went there. Yeah we had the meditation, we were in the auditorium and you literally heard like a thousand kids feet hit the ground when we asked them to put their feet flat on the ground. Wow. And it was like, so powerful. 

Jordan 57:24
That was like the one of the first assemblies that we ever did. And and I guess I'll speak personally, but I think that all three of us feel this way. It's like you're up there and we hadn't done this 40 times. You know, we had this was like our second or third time. And so we're up there like talking about our anxiety and our amputations and our experiences with depression and like, you know, I love everyone and teenagers, but they kind of stare at you, you know, just blank stare. And so they're there's a lot of room. 

Kelly 57:53
And you were like. 

Jordan 57:54
Yeah, what is that like? I guess clearly they hate us. 

Kelly 57:58
But the teenagers there and you're guys, we're going to find out about it and. 

Jordan 58:03
And yeah, just saying this is and we set up this meditation online. I invite everybody, you know, please put feet flat on the floor and they're in the stands of the gym, you know, my alma mater, which I was so, so filled with anxiety when I was there. So. Yes. And then you heard, I guess seven or eight students of 1400 feet just boom in unison. It was like this powerful moment where it was like, Oh, they're with us like this. This is resonating. 

DJ 58:28
It was cool. Is my parents and my wife got to be at that one. So that was a critical witness that as well. 

Kelly 58:35
Yeah. 

Rich 58:36
I knew there was something I wanted to bring up. Okay, I did something. 

Oh, you made your wrestling debut. I did? Yes. 

Kelly 58:47
I'm. I'm sorry. 

Rich 58:49
That was the one night I couldn't make it. Okay. The whole. 

Jordan 58:52
Purpose over here is to talk about. 

Kelly 58:54
It. 

Rich 58:55
I got all those of you listening. You may not know it is. So when we finished recording an episode, Jordan, I will tell you, I don't even know how wrestling came up. But I feel that you are a big wrestling fan. I told you about M.C. W Yeah, that I see you on Facebook there. Somebody stated all the rules. What? 

Jordan 59:16
It was the greatest moment of my life. I love my children and all, but it was great. You know, my my wife actually gave me the best birthday present ever. And 

this this sort of ties in because all my 25th birthday, my father attempted suicide. So that moment forth, my birthday was always kind of like just it just had this weight to it. And we, you know, everybody would try my mom and my sisters and my wife, of course, would try to to gloss over it. Let's celebrate. But it was always there. And, you know, ten years or so later, my wife came up with this plan that for my birthday she contacted M.S. W who I never heard of until you mentioned it. And a friend of ours we found out is a referee there, ref Becky. 

Rich 1:00:01
Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. 

Jordan 1:00:04
Who used to come out to our shows when we were fixing to go down and they set up this, this birthday party, which I didn't know was going on. So we show up and I had never been to emcee to the arena, and I never I had never been to NCW. So we pull up and it's my wife and I, and. 

Rich 1:00:21
You're like, I don't know where, but yeah, I'm like, Why are we. 

Jordan 1:00:23
Going to a flea market? Like this is really doing the trick on. And we walk in and there's just like three jacked dudes like there to greet me, and my kids are mumbling, Hey, guys. And then I find out that in 20 minutes, and that's all the time I had 20 minutes, I'm going to learn how to wrestle. And all my friends and family are going to show up. 

Rich 1:00:45
To watch. 

Jordan 1:00:46
Me wrestle and anybody else that was in attendance. And so I had 20 minutes and to learn how to wrestle. And then everybody showed up, including like a buddy of mine from California, from New York, like it was it was great. And then and then and then I just had to sit there and act like it's a normal party for an hour and a half, 2 hours while this wrestling show is going on knowing I have to be in the main event to wrestle. 

Kelly 1:01:09
Oh, yeah, Talk about anxiety and all. 

Jordan 1:01:13
I'm trying to do like everybody, I'm like, Oh, DJ Andre, what's up, guys? But in my mind, I'm trying. To remember the. 

Rich 1:01:18
Person. That's right. Yes. Yeah. Okay. 

Jordan 1:01:21
I was on my last of a ton. 

Rich 1:01:24
Going to quit because I was going to say giving you a. 

Jordan 1:01:30
Good said that to me. They both said like, I guess we lost. 

Rich 1:01:33
That zone. 

Jordan 1:01:35
Because I was. 

Rich 1:01:35
I was watching. 

Kelly 1:01:38
And. 

Jordan 1:01:39
I was so and so and it was to do with like the other MTW guys, Michael Malone, who is just amazing and a couple other guys and one the guys from A.W. was on there. So is whose is RAF, Becky's husband. So anyway, huge human beings and I'm this little skinny guy, but I any nervousness went out the window as soon as the match started, and then by the end of it, I ripped my shirt off and I was the top. 

Kelly 1:02:09
That every. 

Rich 1:02:10
Play. But yeah, yeah. They get. 

Kelly 1:02:12
Great guys. That's right. Yes. 

Jordan 1:02:15
Yes. And it was my wrestling fan. 

Kelly 1:02:18
So did you, like wrestle in high school? 

Rich 1:02:20
No. 

Kelly 1:02:21
Oh, okay. I was. 

Rich 1:02:22
Just like. 

Kelly 1:02:23
Okay, no. 

Rich 1:02:24
Just the fake stuff. 

Jordan 1:02:27
That's not bad. I literally learned what I was supposed to do. 

Kelly 1:02:29
With my. 

Rich 1:02:31
Body, which is, of. 

Jordan 1:02:32
Course, they carried me. Those guys did? Oh, yeah, but I got those. But I got the pin. 

Rich 1:02:36


did. You have to take any belts? 

Jordan 1:02:40
No, they wouldn't let me. 

Rich 1:02:41
That a good. Well, what do you mean? They were, they were very. 

Jordan 1:02:46
Clear. I've been doing my wife and I've been doing crap of God Empire Dojo for the last year, so I really. I know how to take a flat back bump and all that stuff, because you need to know that just when you're training martial arts, that when you fall, you don't. 

Rich 1:02:58
Sydney or Lewis. 

Jordan 1:03:00
Sydney. Okay. Yeah. 

Rich 1:03:01
She's awesome. 

Jordan 1:03:02
Yeah, she's awesome. Yeah. So I was kind of prepared and I kind of was like I was a little overwhelmed. But at the same time, like, I know wrestling and I want to take, I want to take some pain here, but it was not allowed so good. Me Yeah, let's see. 

Rich 1:03:15
What was your wrestling name if. 

Jordan 1:03:18
You want. No, and I can think of one. I was just I think I've sort of made fun of me. Call me the birthday 

guy. 

Kelly 1:03:25
That's fun. 

Rich 1:03:26
Well, guys, I want to thank you so much. Kelly, Thank you so much. 

Kelly 1:03:30
That was so much. I've had the most fun I did. 

Jordan 1:03:33
I thank you both. 

Kelly 1:03:35
So, yeah, this is awesome.